Volume 5

Edition 1

January 2000

Salutations and may the year 2000 bring you good fortune, hero status and many trophies (but not mine).

For those who wish to lodge complaints this year the committee is as follows:

• Grand Poo Bah – Allan Davies
• Senior Scribe – Neil Argall
• Junior Scribe – (or scribbler) – Gerry Barber
• In charge of Vice – Keith Delzoppo
• The Peter Costello cloak once again goes to Ken Grist
• As for those responsible for you plebs getting a game; it’s a raffle, talk to either T. Jackson, S. Cole, T. Mifsud, L. Mannix – sucking up is going to be hard this year.

29 January - Stableford

5 February - Stroke monthly medal

12 February - Stableford

19 February - Par

26 February - Stableford

4 March - Stroke monthly medal – match play qualifier

The Vin O’Meara trophy was won by Andrew Tome with a blistering two weeks of golf. The lucky punter was Tony Tome who put his house on his son. Although dividends have been declared Tony has not been paid his winnings, along with the 2^nd and 3^rd place punters. This is because all bets have not been finalised. There are two members who between them owe the pool $180. It pains me to write this, because up until now all bets have been taken on trust and paid on the day.

The Calcutta has become a tradition and I for one (considering the work involved) (also don’t’ forget me) would hate to see it pass. This year will be the ninth Calcutta and is the last physical link to Vin who’s idea it first was.

Congratulations to David Ford for winning the January monthly medal, with a nett score of 68. Special mention to one of our newer members, Targe Mifsud who took out B grade with a nett 69. A healthy start to both for the Championship.

Page 2.

Speaking of the Championship, the Club voted to award 1^st, 2^nd and 3^rd place trophies as of this year. Thanks to Chris for the suggestion.

So that everyone knows: The pond adjacent to the ninth tee and the river (not the lake adjacent to the eighth fairway) is deemed to be casual water. Free lift and drop.

The following are notices on motion all put by Chris Priems.

1. That if a tournament falls on a long weekend it be rescheduled.
2. That we investigate an Autumn away game, nobody to suggest Chirnside Park under pain of death.
3. We discuss with Howard safety regarding the 17^th.

By now most of you would have seen the new shirt. The debonair model (yeah right) who has been displaying the garment suggests it is extremely comfortable and cooler than its predecessor.

I have orders for 14 tops so far and if anyone else is interested the cost is $25. They will be available in approx. 2 weeks.

From now on I’ll be running a section at the end of each chronicle to allow you to advertise your wares. Be it something to sell, buy or swap, or a service you wish to promote.

Until next month

"Hit them long and not often"

W.GAF

Volume 5

Edition 2

February 2000

Good morning fellow golfing enthusiasts (or if your more like me – fellow golfing masochists) WHAT HAS HAPPENED TO MY SWING? How many times have we heard that? This game is so addictive, the Customs Department should have sniffer dogs on all golf courses. At least I will soon have a handicap I can play to. I hope the same applies to you. Those on 10 or less exempted.

For those who lost or displaced (or the dog ate it) their calendar - here it is:

19^th Feb Par (Fred won’t be here)

26^th Feb Stableford (Fred’s back)

4^th March Stroke – Monthly Medal

Qualifying for match play (Fred’s definitely here, and by God I hope so is my swing)

There are architects and architects. The first group take their business seriously. The second take theirs physically. Like, they like to look closely at brick steps. They like to feel what a reinforcing rod can do when it penetrates a calf muscle. Some may say it’s providence, but when you try to hustle Ivanhoe Golf – we don’t call in the Mafia, we call in God, Andrew be warned.

Allan, thanks for the loan of the amp. I’ve meant to thank you each week but have been negligent. Now with the power strike it sits forlornly looking at me. It will be used. (Much to Cheryl’s disgust). Give me a call when you want it back, you have my number, along with everybody’s.

This hole is my enigma. It can break my heart every time I play it. Got him psyched out – wish I could do that. Designed (so they say) to protect the houses along the fairway. How many balls are hit out of bounds? – Get rid of the ghost gum, and make it a reasonable hole. How in hell can you play a lost ball penalty from the middle of the fairway? Forget about the bitching This is the way to play this hole tee shot out of bounds:

Penalty shot, on the path

Take relief

Hit your ball into your bag and out of bounds. Pick up ball, walk to the green. Thank God we were playing par. Six penalty strokes with two hits (I hate this hole).

Page 2.

This month’s monthly medal winner is Targe Mifsud. Targe only joined the Club late last year and has now thrown down the gauntlet to Tony. (Sorry about the handicap adjustment Targe).

Prior to last week’s game, the Leader’s Board in the Club Championship was as follows:

Targe Mifsud 10 points

Laurie Mannix 9 points

Ken Grist 8 points

Keith Delzoppo, Bob McDonald, Chris Priems & Andrew Petricola 6

The Club is pursuing an away Sunday game during Autumn. Courses to be investigated are Royal Melbourne, Kingston Links and Melton Valley. Register your interest with Keith or Gerry.

Our Calcutta has raised a mountain out of a molehill. The following issues were raised. The first, I personally agree with.

• It has been suggested that a sweep be conducted in conjunction with the Calcutta. The details to be ironed out.
• It was also suggested that syndicates be outlawed. Great in theory, who’s going to be the sheriff?
• The final suggestion was, if you ain’t got the dough, you can’t bet – Good thinking. Actually this was my suggestion.

Come to the next meeting and make your feelings felt.

The trading post is vacant.

Until then

From the back cover Rules of Golf

Until next month

W.GAFF

Please note all comments in bold italics are those of the editor.