Yearly Archives: 2016

The season is in wind down mode.  This year’s golf season, that is.  You could be forgiven for imagining that the weather is also in wind down mode if not wind back.  After a couple of beautiful days during the week it was out with the winter gloves again today and the couple of glimpses of the sun did little to lift the temperature or the spirits.  Twenty players set out to try their hand a collecting the next to last trophy up for grabs in individual competition for this year.  For better or for worse, nineteen players finished on the 18th.  One player handed in his chips on the 17th after his ball could not be found and he couldn’t be bothered walking back to the tee.  That’s the trouble with being honest.  Most people would have declared that it was most likely in the hazard and taken the penalty with the hope of an up and down from the far side of the pond.  As it turned out, the group in front had heard the ball enter the water and so Brendon could have finished the round quite legally by taking the penalty.

But the Birthday Birdie obviously arrived early for Craig and presented him with a gift, albeit a couple of days early.  Craig kept his head down and his eye on the ball and the putts kept falling in.  As the saying goes, you drive for show but you putt for dough and very often that is the main difference between an average round and a good one – the putts keep dropping.  Well done Craig, a bit late to challenge for the Championship but you are now a very worthy contender for the Champion of Champions event.  A couple of birdies along the way helped a bit with the Eclectic though the handicap change cut a bit of the gloss from that.  Brendon still has the lead in this event and with only three rounds to go, he might be a bit hard to bring down but it is not impossible.  And, while thinking of birdies, there were a total of 17 altogether today, which is not a bad number considering the windy conditions and the diabolical placement of some of the pins.

It seems that Ed has given up work and is embarking a new career as a golfer if the fact that he is taking lessons and is playing up to five times a week is any guide.  Also, he says as much himself.  So, it is not surprising that Ed played exactly to his handicap today and he had to take a four putt on the 18th to do it.  Maybe it was the wind, but a quick survey after the game showed that at least four other people managed to achieve that not particularly bragg-worthy land-mark.  Ed looked as if he was going to tear the course apart after starting with 3 birdies in the first four holes even though he did have to sink a 20m putt to get one of them.  Ed also managed to collect the ProPin on the 12th today with a shot that put him 4.35m from the hole.  Not a bad dividend given that it was a jackpot from last week and it was Double Dollars for today.

Simon is also putting in some hard yards to improve his game.  He now has a membership card for IPGC and is skiving off from work a couple of times during the week to fit in the nine holes or so before his mid-morning meetings.  The effort seems to be paying off with him striking the ball well and consistently, except maybe for the 16th where a poor drive and a run in with the water hazard from the second shot made all the difference in the final result.

Joe has been checking and double-checking that he has qualified for the Monthly Medal and so it was expected that he would be out there putting in his best shot to take the top spot.  Unfortunately, Joe will have to wait a little longer after the putter let him down on a couple of occasions.  So it was only 4th place today alongside Stefan who didn’t drive any greens today but he did go close to sinking an approach shot on the 4th by means of a ricochet  Not sure what the obstacle was but this was after Jason had chipped in and Gordon’s ball went past the hole and then rolled back and fell in.  It definitely was not back-spin.  Estimates of the time taken for the ball to fall vary widely but Gordon is quite confident that the time frame was within the Rules of Golf.

Now comes the man that a few were hoping would stay away on his holiday a bit longer and that he would cease and desist from playing golf while upon said holiday.  That, of course, is none other than the Beast who managed to snag himself another point today to make it just that little bit harder for anyone to overtake him in the next three weeks.  It is possible, of course, and threats of knee-cappings might just have to be taken seriously.  Nothing like a good slug-fest to see out the final rounds of the year.  Bill was joined in 5th spot by Jason who is thinking of getting his name tattooed on his forehead to reduce the number of times that he is mistaken for somebody else.

Actually, getting back to Bill, he creamed his second shot (after having creamed his first) on the 6th and the ball rolled quite comfortably to the centre of the green just in a nice spot to interfere with the line of one of the players still occupying the green.  So, the ball had to be marked, and what a ball it was.  A grubbier, more worn ball has rarely graced the manicured fairways and greens of Ivanhoe.  Conservative estimates put the age at at least ten rounds and still no KO.  Bill will undoubtedly be pleased to have made it closest on the BallPin 12th hole so that he will be able to pension off ‘old reliable’ for a nice shiny new one sometime soon.

DennisW might have been a bit unlucky to be out of the points today but he does reckon he was lucky to have made past the red markers on one hole.  There was no evidence of there having been any actual draughties today so the bar staff had a pretty easy day.  Simon had just completed his tee shot on the 8th when there was an odd sort of a sound and his driver clattered to the ground.  It wasn’t that he was disgusted with his shot, it was that he had been hit on the knee by a ball from the 5th tee.  Not one of ours this time and they claimed to have given warning.  Maybe the wind carried the call away.

Mehm continues on his winless ways and he was really hoping not to make it to his two year anniversary.  There was almost a consolation prize today though when it put the ball onto the 17th green with an eminently gettable putt for the Eagle and the handful of eggs in the nest since the last time it was raided.  The ball slipped by the hole by the narrowest of margins and Mehm had to settle for the birdie.  Ryan was a bit crooked on the placement of the pins today, particularly the one on the 12th for the ProPin.  Ryans ball was closer to the pin that Ed’s but it was off the green by only a few millimetres.

The round wasn’t all that far off the pace today but there was a bit of a gap opened up between one of the middle groups and the front runners.  And there were groups of three bringing up the rear.  So an enterprising type suggested that two of the groups should join up to reduce the pain of waiting.  And, it looks as if they had a mighty fine time of it if the happy snap is anything to go by.  There is no truth to the rumour that Ryan is auditioning for the next KISS revival tour.

The Birthday Birdie has another call to make this week and that is to our oldest member, young Mal, who racks up another milestone in a couple of days and makes it just that little bit easier to achieve his goal of playing a round (as distinct from playing around) under his age.  The latter past-time can best be left to Noodles.

Don’t forget that you can pay your subs for next year any time soon.  The Club is up for the GolfLink subs immediately in the New Year and we would like to get them in before the Christmas Party (if not sooner).  Anybody who plans to change their GolfLink status (home/non-home, opt in/opt out) could they please advise as soon as possible.

Preparation of the Form Guide for the Vin O’Meara Stakes is about to get under way and we are also looking for advice on which members will be not playing in the whole event (either none or only one day) and which members do not wish to be included in the Calcutta Auction.  If you are unfamiliar with the Calcutta concept have a read of the Rules and/or ask one of the longer term members.

Results for Saturday, 05 November 2016
1st Craig Cameron(64) 2nd Ed Kloprogge(68) 3rd Simon Powell(69) 4th Stefan Belevski(70) 4th Joe Wagenecht(70) 5th Bill Eastoe(71) 5th Jason Hopkins(71)

Seniors Results: 1st Craig Cameron (64) 2nd Ed Kloprogge (68) 3rd Simon Powell (69)

Nearest the Pin Results: ProPin 12th Ed Kloprogge BallPin 15th Bill Eastoe

Who said that the members didn’t like playing Par competition?  Given that this was the third week in a row (thanks Fred) the turn-out of 23 members was pretty impressive.  It was a bit cool to start off but, when the cloud cover burned off, it warmed up nicely and turned into a delightful Melbourne Spring day.  Could be just the time for a racing Carnival you could almost think.  Come to think of it there is some sort of a horse race coming up shortly.  Something called the Vin O’Meara Stakes if memory serves correctly.

As predicted a little while back, it wasn’t long before Jason appeared on the top podium spot.  A bit like the day, it took him a while to warm up and it was six holes into the round before he first entered positive territory and he just managed to stay there at the turn with the card showing just one up.  The back nine obviously suited him as he squared six and won three to finish the day with a field-streeting +4 points.  The handicapper took an axe, and gave his mother forty whacks, and when that job was nicely done, he gave poor Jason, forty-one! Figuratively speaking, that is.

Harry looked to be in a good position to emulate what Jason achieved.  That is until Pepsi asked how he was going on the 14th green.  The wheels immediately developed a nasty wobble and the plus four at that stage was almost eliminated by the end of the round.  Still, second place and a slightly positive card meant that the handicapping was relatively painless.  Harry was joined in second place by Rob who did himself out of a point on his card by not checking the handicap sheet before he went out to play.  Rob started off well and was well placed at the turn but dropped a fair amount of engine oil on the last three holes.

So, that left Noodles and John tied up in 3rd place with their square cards.  John was very well balanced and squared both nines while Noodles finished with one each way.  Joe was hitting the ball really well and squared well over half of the holes but the losses outnumbered the wins and he was only able to finish the day one down. Michael spent a lot of the day worrying whether his supply of tees would last until Christmas.  Apparently he is on Santa’s Nice list and he is expecting a big stocking-full from the big fella.

Michael hasn’t quite descended to the level of desperation evident in this pic from a couple of weeks back but one tee today went close to needing some sort of additional support to be usable on the next hole.  Ryan mostly either won them or lost them so his performance might best be described as steady but erratic.  But then, he scores points, and that is what counts in the end.

Fifth spot today was filled by a couple of Seniors by the name of DennisW and Simon who both managed to come home just the two holes down.  Now Simon has been away on a road-trip and there are often reports of funny stuff happening on road-trips.  Not sure whether it was the after effects of funny stuff but Simon marked his partners card back to front (marker on the left, player on the right) which had the handicapper scratching his head for a while as to how the scoring could have been so wrong.

The BallPin today was on the 15th and Pepsi did a good job to put it on but left a bit of work to do with the putt.  But, putt it he did, for one of the 16 birdies that were carded for the day.  It wasn’t enough to win the ball however as Joe managed to put it closer to score himself a nice new pill to play with next week.  He didn’t get the birdie though.  The ProPin was set for the 18th and with the pin set close to the start of the swale to the lower level it was a tough target.  So tough, in fact, that nobody managed to put it close enough to make a claim and the pool will Jackpot to next week.  Rob and Chris are a bit disappointed as they will be at Mansfield next weekend.  Chrispy has at least three rounds lined up for during the week so he is hoping for the ‘old’ Chrispy to be back before next weekend.  He was heard saying that he gave up on the back nine today which is hardly the attitude when preparing for a Major event such as Mansfield.

DennisT has some time off from his role at the Darklands and he hasn’t had much time for practice but he thought that today was a beautiful day for a walk.  Pepsi was keen to get away to Flemington and the hope is that his punting will treat him better than his rather rusty form did on the golf course.  He didn’t have any hot tips to offer but he thought that there might be a few fillies worth having a look at.

There was a Magpie patrolling the area around the 18th and it seems that Jason went close to spiflicating it and turning it into a Hawk (some sort of football analogy?).  Stefan had his driver tuned up today and caused some consternation in the group in front when he went close to driving the green on the 5th and then lobbed one over the corner on the 10th right into their midst.  While it can be hard to know exactly where people are when they are out of sight, they definitely shouldn’t be out of mind.

Simon managed to score one of the birdies today on the 17th, which he put down to ‘good golf’ and it was one of the highlights of his round.  One of the highlights of his road-trip was being tapped on the shoulder by security at his hotel for practicing chipping on the courtyard lawns.  He did get in 25 minutes worth of practice though.  Maybe that helped today.

Mal was back today after a little while away due to the cold and some health matters and he shared a cart with Trev to guarantee that he could finish the round.  His playing partners thought that he was hitting the ball really well in light of his claim that he hadn’t played for over a month.  What they didn’t realise was that he was referring to Club Events and that he has been making an appearance on Thursdays with Rod and Harry.

There weren’t any draughties reported today though Zimmer did manage a few shanks which caused him to throw a tantie or two.  Bob was also less than happy with some aspects of his game today and was apparently giving lessons in new ways to blaspheme in the English language.

The Birthday Birdie will be busy this week with a number of lots of good wishes to hand about.  Celebrations are in order for Mark, Rodger and Damo.  Don’t party too hard fellows!

Results for Saturday, 29 October 2016
1st Jason Hopkins(+4) 2nd Harry Boughen(+1) 2nd Robert Priems(+1) 3rd Stephen Butterfield(□) 3rd John Quinlan(□) 4th Michael Gourlay(-1) 4th Ryan Porker(-1) 4th Joe Wagenecht(-1) 5th Simon Powell(-2) 5th Dennis Ward(-2)

Seniors Results: 1st Harry Boughen (+1) 2nd Dennis Ward (-2) 2nd Simon Powell (-2) 3rd Malcolm Fleming (-5) 3rd Rod Grant (-5)

Nearest the Pin Results: ProPin 18th Jackpot BallPin 15th Joe Wagenecht

Some feigned tennis injuries, some claimed other commitments and some claimed to have to go to work.  And as for the rest, the chances are that they just chickened out when the weather looked like being a bit inclement.  And it was – sort of.  First it showered out of a clear blue sky, then it showered out of a little white cloud, then it showered out of a darkish cloud and, finally it rained and it hailed out of a really black cloud.  The bulk of the field had made it back to the clubhouse before then and suffered little more than the inconvenience of upping and downing of umbrellas.  The last groups, consisting mostly of the better players from last week, probably had the worst of it and came in doing a good impression of half-drowned rats.  Still, four out of sixteen getting a wetting isn’t too bad.

Now, the big question on everybody’s lips was – can Mehm break his winless streak?  It must be said that even Mehm wasn’t too confident at the start of the day.  As it turned out Mehm’s fears were well grounded and he relinquished the top spot to Michael who put in one of the two top cards for the day to add another point to last weeks tally making him an easy winner by four points.  Well done and well deserved, as are the double lot of winner’s penalty.  But that’s just par for the course!

When Dennis was spotted playing the 11th on the 13th, he opined that he was doing OK but that he had probably made a mess of this one.  Having made 3 up on the front nine he was certainly putting himself into a good position to strike.  Unfortunately it was not to be and the gearbox leaked more oil as the round progressed so that he finished -1 on the day and square for the event.  Stefan also had a bit of a blinder on the front nine and carded 4 birdies in a row which was a fair percentage of the ten that were carded by the group as a whole.  One of his playing partners described the passage of play as just like watching the PGA.  Given that Michael also carded four birdies (not consecutive though), it doesn’t say much for the contribution of the rest of the field.  Somebody said that SOS was having a ‘mare’ or was that ‘mayor’ – whatever that might mean, but presumably it was to convey that he wasn’t going so well.  Regardless, to end up equal second over the two weeks is not a bad effort in anybody’s terms.

As was mentioned earlier, Mehmet maintained his winless record and he is now looking forward to celebrating the second anniversary of his last top spot by maintaining that state.  The Beast continues his steady performance of points gathering and has clawed his way back in front of Brendon in the Championship table.  Chrispy’s fears about being overtaken for third spot in the Championship have been well founded and Michael’s win today has moved him a bit ahead of Chris.  The Beast’s lead in the Seniors has also been extended.  Jason put in a much better performance today and managed to propel himself into 4th place with the other best card of the day.  It might have been even better if it had not been for the draughtie that he managed to execute on the 5th.  He wasn’t alone though as Brent managed one on the 2nd after trying to knock the cover off the ball (again).

So, although Brent had a bit of a shocker today, a fair bit of it down to the said tendency to try to knock the cover off the ball, he still managed to finish up with an aggregate score good enough to settle for 5th place.  He was joined by Ryan who managed the conditions today better than most with his square card.

Now, it was thought that Noodles had managed to take out the Bradman trophy on his own even though he didn’t play today.  However, it seems that Gordon (and his marker – though to be fair his marker didn’t have a card to mark on the front nine) forgot about the stroke difference between his two cards and claimed a point that wasn’t due and so the Glory (or shame) has to be shared.

The BallPin was on the 12th today and the eventual winner was John who managed to get it closer than Harry, who was in the first group and wasn’t all that close anyway.  The ProPin was on the 18th and it was won by a man who claims that he hasn’t won one for at least a hundred years.  Now, come on SOS, you’re not even in the Seniors yet.

Speaking of Seniors, it’s about time that we started moving the boundary for qualification (a bit like the Feds are doing with the Pension age) as there are a couple who are moving inexorably closer.  The Birthday Birdie reckons that David is on the brink and Chrispy isn’t all that far away.  And neither has been asked to prove his age.  Yet!  Don’t celebrate too hard chaps.

Chrispy reckons he usually finds form just in time for Mansfield but he was not so sure about that this year.  That is until the last four holes when he reckoned that the ‘old Chrispy’ was back.  Brent and Jason were off to a wedding – possibly a ‘garden’ ceremony – hope they had a plan B.  The groom is none other than Dale which might have something to do with why he didn’t play today.  Brent was leaving his clubs with Chrispy and asked should he just chuck them in the car – to which Chrispy replied – Nah, just chuck them in the bin.

The tail end Charlies managed to record four pars on the 9th and all of them were down to up and downs (if you can sort out your ups from your downs).  Some were long putts and some were awkward downhill chips but it’s the result that counts, not the picture that you have to draw.

The new website is up and running and if you are reading this, you have obviously found it.  If you are not reading this, then you should read your e-mails or click on the link at the old website to get here.

Results for Saturday, 22 October 2016
1st Michael Gourlay(+3, +1, +4) 2nd Dennis Ward(+1, -1, □) 2nd Stefan Belevski(□, □, □) 2nd Stephen O’Sullivan(+3, -3, □)

3rd Mehmet Akdag(+4, -5, -1) 3rd Bill Eastoe(□, -1, -1) 4th Jason Hopkins(-3, +1, -2) 5th Ryan Porker(-4, □, -4) 5th Brent Rowley(+3, -7, -4)

Seniors Results: 1st Dennis Ward (-1,1,□) 2nd Bill Eastoe (-1,□,-1) 3rd Harry Boughen (-5, □, -5)

Nearest the Pin Results: ProPin 18th Stephen O’Sullivan BallPin 12th John Quinlan

It was another good turn out today with 25 members coming out to try for the heavy-weight trophy of the year. And this despite the fact that everybody has a whinge about playing in Par events. Obviously, prestige counts. The bureau has been threatening us with some rain but very little has eventuated and as a result the course has dried out more than somewhat. There were still preferred lies today but they were barely necessary and there is a fair chance that it will be back to play as she lies next week. The wind did pick us the day progressed and this might have had some influence on the scores on the back nine. Our tallest member was pleading for special consideration in that he was affected by the wind more than the rest of the field. It was conceded that he could have one extra stroke on his handicap to be taken where it didn’t count. The Beast was sort of happy with that concession.

So, who was able to make the most of the improved playing conditions. Well, believe it or not, it was Mehmet who had the biggest smile at the end of the day after he managed to stay on his feet and put together a very handy +4 points. But, he hasn’t got it on his ownsome as there are a few right hot on his tail and things augur well for a fiercely fought battle for supremacy next week.

Right there on +3 are Brent, who did a great job to come back after scratching the first three holes, SOS who made a flying start but faded a bit in the middle of the round and Michael who played a good steady round with only a single minus on the card. Game on! DennisW made a couple of attempts at getting onto the green from the tee, the only problem being that they were greens on different holes to the one that he was playing. Despite that he managed to finish up in positive territory and in the process improved his eclectic ranking to take second place and be less than a stroke behind the leader. His birdie today was one of the thirteen that we were able to score today.

The next group managed to play to their handicap and are by no means out of the race for the trophy. The Beast would dearly love to be able to pick up the top points to consolidate his position on both Championship tables. Stefan managed to drive the 11th again today though he could only manage a birdie, but an eagle would have been too much to bear. There is nothing suspicious about the fact that Stef and Zimmer marked each others cards but there are reports that Zimmer did not even reach the Men’s tee on the 17th and it was not an air-swing. The ball must have an awful headache though. Rod hasn’t been around much in recent times but he is obviously seeing a bit of form after a practice round at Kingswood on Thursday sharpened his touch.

Pepsi has had a few other fish to fry over recent months but, as always, he seems to be able to put in a good steady round and was just one stroke outside his handicap. He would need a sub-par round or some pretty spectacular failures to really have a chance but while there is life there is hope. But then again, he isn’t planning to play next week. And, as for the rest, there is always the prospect of the delicious burgers and snags that Gordon will be organising for the Club Lunch.

The other big event for the day was the finalisation of the top half of the Matchplay Championship for this year with JohnQ and Brendon squaring off for the trophy and (for Brendon at least) the heapful helping of points that goes along with it. Brendon got off to a good start and, half way through the front nine, he had a reasonable buffer of three holes. However a couple of quick wins by John evened the score up and the difference was only one hole at the turn. There was only one win for Brendon on the back but three wins to John allowed him to finish the Match off at 2 and 1. Well done John, Matchplay Champion again! Things were,’t all bad for Brendon as the points put him back in the Championship lead but only by a very small margin. Chrispy is starting to despair that time is running out to catch the leaders and he is looking over his shoulder to see who might sneak up and wrest the third spot from his grasp.

The ProPin today was positioned on the 12th. The tees were set well forward and there was a bit of green to play with so there was no excuse for anybody not to be in the running. As it was, Eddie stole it (again) from the first group with a distance of 3.14m. Jason went close and the tape was called on when the eye had trouble picking it. The BallPin was on the 18th and once again there was only one name on the chit. In keeping with his good form all day, that name was Mehmet. Didn’t make the birdie though.

Bob was called upon to hand out some drinks to his playing group after scoring a draughtie on the 15th. Harry nearly managed to do himself an injury with his second shot of the day that hit a tree dead centre and whistled past him to finish behind where it started. To add insult to (almost) injury, the next shot also got a tree flush and finished backwards, but at least on the fairway. We know that Gordon and Ed are mates but you start to wonder what sort of mates when they turn up in almost identically coloured, emerald green shorts. As if that isn’t enough, it seems that Gordon is planning to wear a polka-dot dress next week. Can’t imagine why that would be.

While the course is much firmer and the fairways and most of the rough have been mowed, some people are never satisfied and Noodles, in particular, came in claiming that the course was ‘brutal’. Maybe that should have been ‘brutalised’ if Noodles score was any indication. No wonder he didn’t want it published.

Dale played again today and now has his three cards in and has qualified for competition with a handicap of 27. Seems fairly generous considering the way he can hit the ball. So watch out, he could be a winner not too far down the track if past cases are any guide. Paul has got himself a new set of clubs that are better suited to his build and there were some glimpses today that, a bit further down the track, the investment could start to pay off. Chrispy is playing with a new grip. This change in hand position came about due to him getting some right to left with one of his rescue clubs. Now everybody knows that Chrispy is noted for his ‘power fade’ so anything that goes the other way could get him into really big trouble. He’s quietly confident that all will be good when he comes back from Mansfield. Michael has been having a problem with a particular brand of ball carrying further than he is used to. So, this week he changed brands and, lo and behold, he now reckons he is hitting it short. Didn’t seriously affect his scoring capacity though.

The Secretary has a number of discount cards to the Golf Clearance Outlet down on Dandenong Road, Oakleigh East. If anybody would like one, get in touch with Blighty and if anybody is down there, find out their prices for balls for SOS. If you aren’t sure of the brands, SOS will give you a list if you ring.

The Birthday Birdie has a wish to hand out to Paul for a couple of days hence. Maybe that is what the new clubs were for.

Don’t forget the bar-be-que after the game next week. Everybody welcome, even if you didn’t play today.

SOS would also like people to start paying their subs for next year (electronic transfer for preference) as we need to have to cash in for payment to the powers that be early in the new year. The deadline will be the Christmas breakup function on 17 December. For those that have other arrangements for GolfLink, the club membership is $20. GolfLink membership with us is $90 so a total of $110 for those using that option. Anybody wishing to transfer from another club to us please email Harry so that we have a formal record of the request.

Results for Saturday, 15 October 2016
Leaderboard Round 1 1st Mehmet Akdag(+4) 2nd Michael Gourlay(+3) 2nd Brent Rowley(+3) 2nd
Stephen O’Sullivan(+3) 3rd Dennis Ward(+1) 4th Kazim Akdag(□) 4th Stefan Belevski(□) 4th
Bill Eastoe(□) 4th Rod Grant(□) 5th Andrew Petricola(-1)

Seniors Leaderboard: 1st Dennis Ward (+1) 2nd Bill Eastoe (□) 2nd Rod Grant (□) 3rd Bob McDonald (-2)

Nearest the Pin Results: ProPin 12th Ed Kloprogge BallPin 18th Mehmet Akdag