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If It’s Belgium, This Must Be Tuesday 14 April 2020
Back in 1969, there was a (not so) great movie ‘If It’s Tuesday, This Must Be Belgium’ made, based on the premise that the only way to keep track of of where you were on a bus tour of Europe was by means of the day of the week. In 2020, in the midst of the shutdown by way of contrast, it is difficult to keep track of the days of the week without golf. Tomorrow is short game practice, so today must be Monday. Yesterday was short game practice so today must be Wednesday and tomorrow we play golf. Yesterday was golf and tomorrow is golf so today must be Friday. Knowing the day of the week – easy peasy. Now, who knows what day it is!
There’s always the newspaper. Getting it home delivered is good. You get to go outside and search about the footpath, the road and gutters, your garden, and neighbour’s garden to find where it has been cunningly deposited by the passing tosser. Then, there is a good ten minutes trying to find the edge of the plastic wrapping so that you can upwrap the damn thing. Though, sometimes they spoil the fun by having a ragged, unstuck end that makes it easy to find. Then you get to strip out all the advertising wrap-arounds and inserts and sections you never read. Ah, The Good Food Guide, it must be Tuesday. Then you get to the good bits, the comic cuts and the puzzles page.
Easter did help a bit. Good Friday called for Hot Cross Buns – home-made, of course. A couple of batches does wonders for the waist-line but did eat into the stock of flour and the supermarket shelves are still bare of that particular commodity. On Sunday, the Easter Barramundi left a chocolate Murray Cod which gives the rather toothsome problem of deciding how to deal with it. You can’t really cut fillets off it so, do you just nibble from one end to the other. If so, do you start at the head and work to the tail or vice versa. Or, start from both ends and meet in the middle.
Trips to the shopping centre don’t really define days of the week but you do need to get necessities (if they are available) and visits to the chemist to get prescriptions filled are sort of necessary but you might need to get your temperature taken to get in. Brumby’s is open for business but seems to have relatively few customers. Probably because people are desperately trying to use up all the flour that they bought in a panic a while back.
Television is not much help. Every second program seems to be a repeat. Lots of historic football games on offer as well but not too many repeats of great games of golf. Maybe there is on Stan or Foxtel or somewhere. That sort of leaves YouTube. Who knew that chipping could be such a simple thing and there are only about fifty-seven different ways of doing it properly. Or, that getting an extra ten or twenty yards on your drive could be so easy. And, as for curing that hook or slice!
Looks like it’s going to be at least May before there is any hope of getting some real golf into the system but do not hold your breath. You could get very blue in the face if you do. Stay together but apart. Practice your hygiene, if not your golf, and we will see you on the course and not in an ICU.
The virus that ate Ivanhoe on 26 March 2020.
Unfortunately, the Committee has had to decide that it is the best interests of both Club members and the community at large for the Club competitions to be suspended immediately.
Competition will resume as soon as it is wise (and allowed) to reconvene in public gatherings but it could well be several months before that chance arises. In due course, the Committee will decide what to do about the half completed Stuart Clarke memorial event but it would be a good idea if everybody still wore their ‘Hawaiian’ shirt tomorrow as a mark of respect close to the anniversary rather than at some future date.
When a date for resumption of competition is determined, the events will carry on as listed in the Calendar from that date. The only exception might be if it was decided to play another round to complete the Stuart Clarke. Any trophy events that are missed during the shut-down will not be competed for or awarded.
In the meantime, stay at home as much as possible, observe social separation and hygiene, and isolate if unwell. It is an unfortunate fact that a number of us will become infected and the last thing we would want to do is to pass the infection on to our friends, family and loved ones, particularly those that might be in the ‘vulnerable’ category.
For those that don’t do Facebook, here is a link that I think well demonstrates the value of social distancing and isolation on limiting the spread and flattening the curve. https://www.washingtonpost.com/graphics/2020/world/corona-simulator/
See you all on the other side.
Matchplay Report for 21 March 2020
It was a big day for Matchplay yesterday and, while we all tried to maintain separation, there was not a great deal separating the members who fought it out in their first (and one second) round matches. There was a little confusion on how to use the score card but basically, you write the respective stroke scores in the first two columns and the result (win [+], square or loss [-]) in the third and then the progress total in the fourth. Notionally, Player 1 is the person on the top row of the fixture as he is the person responsible for arranging the match and recording and reporting the score. We would prefer not to use two cards per match so the person managing the card should make his opponent aware of the index on each hole, particularly where strokes are given or received. Enough of that!
Dale seemed a little perplexed that he had to concede Trev twenty-two strokes in their match. As it turned out, that was exactly the right number because right throughout the scoreline hovered around the even mark and eventually finished all square after the 18th. The match then went to a chip-off that Dale managed to win and take the match.
Chrispy and Craig, on the other hand, were separated by only the single stroke. This match never diverged more than one hole either side of square until it went dormie one in Chrispy’s favour at the 17th. A pair of pars on the 18th handed the match to Chris. There was a slightly larger margin in handicap separating MattH and Daniel and once again the honours were reasonably evenly divided, particularly on the front nine. Matt’s grip loosened a bit in the early stages of the back nine and Daniel opened up a small lead before Matt started to make a come-back. It was just a bit too little and a bit too late when the match fell to Daniel 2 and 1 at the 17th.
Pepsi also had to give a few strokes to Gordo and Gordo had slightly the better of the front nine as Pepsi searched around for his ‘lost’ touch. He must have found it on the track between the 9th green and the 10th tee given the contrast in the stroke scores carded for the two halves. However, despite the two under par back nine, the best that Pepsi could do was to bring the match to all square after the 18th and so they repaired to the green for a chip-off. Pepsi succeeded in the first round.
Dave was on record as saying that his match against Peter would be all over by 10 (o’clock that is). Now, if he had meant, by the 10th hole, he might have been forgiven for thinking that he was getting close. But Peter is not one for lying down and he fought back to bring the match to square by the 15th. However, easy wins on the next two holes gave the result to Dave 2 and 1. In the final match, JQ and Targe slugged it out (almost). The match was very evenly balanced right through the front nine and was all square at the turn. Targe reckoned his new glasses were making the ball look egg-shaped which seemed to make some of his shots go a bit astray or maybe the ball really was egg-shaped and there was nothing wrong with his glasses. In the event, John got the upper hand and looked set to romp it in. A couple of ‘duffed’ chips by John on the 16th and a ‘miracle’ putt by Targe on the 17th brought them to the 18th to decide the match. A half gave the match to John, one up, and avoided yet another chip-off.
There are three matches left to play in Round 1 and two weeks left to complete them. Get your skates on guys! In the meantime, Round 2 matches can be played next week if both players agree but after that (04 April et seq.) the present/play rule will be in force for Round 2.
It was an elbow bumping kind of day on 21 March 2020
There were so many people on the starting blocks this morning that the tee marshal had to go on bended knee to the course management to be allowed to fit the 32 members who had turned up into eight groups. And, of course it just happened to be a day when there were record numbers of others booked in due to the closure of nearby courses. The management even had to provide over-flow parking to deal with the crowds. Unfortunately, we did not heap glory on ourselves with some slowish play that created quite a bit of congestion behind us. We do get a pretty tolerant treatment from the course and it is down to each and every one of us to keep the pace of play moving to make the game more enjoyable for everyone, including our fellow Club members.
The prestigious nature of the Stuart Clarke Memorial is probably the main reason for the great turn out but, there could have been other contributing factors such as the fact that there are no footy games to attend and punters are probably banned from race-tracks as well. Regardless of the reasons for the high turn out, it was neither a mad punter nor a rabid footy fan (although one is a Collingwood supporter) who came out at the front of the pack at the end of the day. Blighty was kind of erratic with two gashes and four singletons but he more than compensated for these lapses with three four pointers and five three pointers. Allan, who was, at one stage, mistaken for an escapee from a nursing home was much more consistent in getting to his 39 points with not a scratch on the card.
Ben has gotten right into Pilates in order to build up his core-strength and to increase his flexibility. He has also been working on smoothing out his swing. There was a small matter of barely avoiding a draughtie on the 13th but all the effort seems to have paid off to produce 38 points and a share of second place. Dennis, on the other hand, did not avoid producing a draughtie on the 17th by hitting the ball between his own legs. There was also a green that he didn’t take a putt – not because he chipped in. Other than that, not a bad round.
Enzo is getting a bit of a reputation as a serial winner of the B-grade in the inside comp. and it would not surprise if he did it again today. Daniel had more than his fair share of singletons which suggests that he is capable of better and so he would not be without hope of catching the leaders. Pepsi could have been forgiven for suffering a bit of despair after the first half of the round. But, he cast off the malaise and fairly blitzed the back nine to complete it in only thirty one strokes (two under par) for twenty-two points and a share of third place with 37 in total. One, so-called, aberration was a par on the 14th where his three playing companions, Si, Gordo and Rodger, all scored birdies.
MattA put in a very steady round with just enough dropped points to keep him from being a front runner. Gordo reckons it is hard to play good golf when you have yourself by the throat and you start choking. MattH on the other hand is still checking out his golf gear to find out what is missing after his run-in with ne’er-do-wells in recent times. All three would have to like their chances of running down and crash-tackling the leaders. The last of the interim place holders should also not be written off with a heap of talent and potential on offer. The Beast went very close to scoring an ace on the 17th to have the easiest of tap-ins to clean out the Eagles Nest once again. Chrispy continues to amaze with his ability to shape the ball from left to right with great consistency. Dale had one little problem with a lie but that did not stop him coming home with a share of 5th spot and a chance for the big one.
Jake had a few little problems today. He was deep in the shrubbery at one stage to play a shot and got so involved that he ended up with a mouth full of leaves and twigs. On the 18th, he managed to pull off a draughtie by barely moving the ball off the tee. However, on the 15th, he placed his drive to 1.78m from the pin and collected a nice little pool for the ProPin. Helped to pay for the beers in all probability. Porks won the first BallPin on the 12th while Enzo managed to get just onto the green to take the BallPin on the 18th. Trevor was pretty chuffed to have scored his first birdie in a long time on the 15th and, as well as contributing to the grand total of 27 birdies (and one eagle), he also collected five points for the effort.
Damo and Harry struggled to get going on the front nine and as they lined up on the 10th, Damo suggested that they should aim to score eighteen on the back to get a modicum of respectability to the card. The extra competition seems to have done the trick and they both scored 19. And there was nearly a fight for the Eagles Nest when Damo pitched into the 14th and the ball rimmed the cup and finished mere centimetres away. Porks was happy to have beaten Noodles at last.
The committee met after the round and the main topic for discussion was the Club’s response to the current pandemic. Basically, we will be guided by the regulations promulgated from time to time. Our competition will continue while the course is open for business. However members should abide by the cleanliness, contact and other guidelines that are readily available. They should not present for golf if feeling unwell in any way and, if they are diagnosed with the virus, they should notify the membership by using the email mailing list so that isolation can be instituted if required by potential contact. For the time being, registration will be continued in the club-house but it is preferable not to remain inside after registering. Providing the weather is clement, the after round gathering will be held by the bar-be-que table. It was also decided that the club lunches would be suspended until the crisis passes. This means that there will be no bar-be-que provided next week.
Next week is the final round of the Stuart Clarke Memorial, and, as a token to Stuart’s memory we ask all members to wear a ‘loud’ Hawaiian shirt if at all possible. The groups will go out in reverse place order and these will be circulated a little later. In the meantime, if you played this week and will not be present next week, please advise Harry and the tee marshal(s). If you didn’t play this week and plan to play next week, could you please do the same thing.
Results for Saturday, 21 March 2020
Leaderboard Round 1: 1st Andrew Blight(39) 1st Allan Davies(39) 2nd Ben Akdag(38) 2nd Dennis Ward(38) 3rd Enzo Cirone(37) 3rd Daniel O’Rourke(37) 3rd Andrew Petricola(37) 4th Matthew Aforozis(36) 4th Gordon Hill(36) 4th Matt Hunt(36) 5th Bill Eastoe(35) 5th Chris Priems(35) 5th Dale Webb(35)
Seniors Leaderboard: 1st Allan Davies (39) 1st Andrew Blight (39) 2nd Dennis Ward (38) 3rd Enzo Cirone (37)
Nearest the Pin Results: ProPin15th Jake Priems BallPin No 1 12th Ryan Porker BallPin No 2 18th Enzo Cirone
Eagle’s nest Results: Eagle 17th Bill Eastoe