Next Week’s Details

Michael was like a cat on a hot tin roof all week, agonising about whether we would get enough for a comp. In the end, the non-Punters did us proud, and eleven members graced the ever so slightly greener fairways of Ivanhoe. The temperature was low enough to start with that some effort to warm the fingers was in order. However, as the morning progressed, the chill in the air moved on, and, at one point, Targe was inspired to strip to the waist. Truly, a sight to behold! Cameras were not at the ready! Although the recent rain will help immeasurably, the large cracks on a couple of fairways are still very much in evidence, so some more would not go astray. Despite the relatively benign conditions, the scoring was not spectacular, and we could only record a single birdie among the lot of us.

Prez was a bit crooked on Bob for sinking a putt that gave him an extra point, which put him ahead according to his card. In the end, he had no reason to be crooked at all, because a couple of two stroke holes were missed, and Bob actually finished three points to the good of Prez and Nalin, to take the day with 37 of the best. Nalin might have been a bit nervous to start his first comp, and went close to taking an air shot on the first tee, moved the ball about 300mm, and finished the hole for no score. He made amends big time on the second, drive, long shot to pin high, chip and putt for a four point par, and opened his Championship Points tally as a debutante.

Targe reckons that he doesn’t like teeing off the first. His first shot disappeared into the bushes, and its fate was deemed uncertain. However, it did make it through to a rather awkward down/side hill lie, which took an effort to get to the bottom of the slope. Unperturbed, he pressed on, and ended up scoring a point for the hole. His game settled down eventually, and 31 points, at the end of the day, collected him third place. Steve managed to fritter away his chances on the front nine, but a much more creditable back nine brought him home with thirty for fourth place. Michael played some putrid golf (his words, not mine) to also score a share of fourth place. Raj took his strokes on the first three holes (666) as an ill omen, but that didn’t stop him from taking the last spot on the podium for the day.

It’s hard to get good help these days, or, at least, help with decent vision. The BallPin, intended for the 15th, happened to have been put out on the 12th. One consolation was that Bob got closer than Steve to collect a ball. As a result, the ProPin marker, intended for the 12th, was put out on the 15th. Nobody got close enough anyway, so the ProPin will be a Double Jackpot on the 12th next week. Michael went close to really having his nose properly out of joint today when Harry went remarkably close to knocking him off for the BallPin (and inside ProPin) on the 18th.

Raj has a knack of taking on the unusual shots. On the third, his ball was very close to the right hand side of a tree. Somehow, he managed to wrap his body sideways and backwards around the trunk, and still managed to swing his arms to make a shot. On the 17th, his second cleared the safety fence for the 18th tee, and nearly took Bob out into the bargain. Undeterred, he took out his trusty sand wedge, and lobbed the ball over the fence, to finish off the hole with a chip and a putt. On the 12th, both Michael and Nalin left themselves short. Nalin overcompensated, and finished his second up on the bank at the back. Michael chipped in for our only birdie, and, not to be outdone, Nalin chipped from the hill, and finished in the hole for his par. Meanwhile, Steve had to settle for two putts to get his par. Marc impressed Prez with his talent as an honorary Priems by making good use of trees to keep his ball in play. He almost came undone on the 7th, however, when the ricochet went close to coming back to the red markers.

While the non-punters were obviously enjoying themselves at Ivanhoe, any word from the Punters down on the Peninsula was pretty thin on the ground. At least four of them were not too hung-over and made it to the course, but there was no indication as to whether that was the extent of the field. The main party and punting is probably under way at this very minute, so there is a fair chance that things could get fairly riotous before the night is out. What effect that has on the standard of the play tomorrow is anybody’s guess.

We have the AGM coming up on 05 April, and there will be a barbecue after in conjunction with the meeting. If you are unable to make it, you can have your say on the Special Resolution about the change in name for the Club by submitting your proxy vote to the Secretary beforehand. The Committee will also be seeking an opinion from members on offering the option of cash ($5) or a ball for the BallRun. Although many Committee positions do have nominations, do not feel that you cannot nominate for a position that takes your fancy. We would love to have an election.

Results for Saturday, 22 Mar 2025
1st Bob McDonald (37) 2nd Robert Priems (34) 2nd Nalin Samaranayake (34) 3rd Targe Mifsud (31) 4th Steven Gervasoni (30) 4th Michael Gourlay (30) 5th Rajesh Mahto (29)

Seniors Results: 1st Bob McDonald (37) 2nd Robert Priems (34) 3rd Targe Mifsud (31)

Nearest the Pin Results: ProPin – 12th Jackpot BallPin No 1 – 12th Bob McDonald BallPin No 2 – 18th Michael Gourlay

Based on past history, the distribution of scores from last week meant that any one of about ten players were in with a chance of snaring the Stuart Clarke Memorial. One of the ten was not able to make it to the tee, but we still had sixteen members out there braving the potential heat of the day. Nalin was there as well, and he put in his third card to get what could very easily be a generous handicap. Dan brought along Charlie’s London flatmate, Dom, for a game as well, and he heads off on a 24-hour flight to return to the Old Dart tomorrow. The temperature did climb, as promised, but a bit of high cloud made it a bit more bearable, though that did burn off just in time to bathe the barbecue area in bright sun, and the temperature matched the heat of the ‘hot’ sausages that Gordo had supplied in his wisdom as a caterer.

Stan played his cards very close to his chest, and seemed more interested in the contest between Harry and Blighty as the round progressed. His front nine didn’t really shine for about six holes, but then he put the pedal to the metal, so to speak, making good use of his two stroke holes. The pace eased off for the first few holes on the back to be followed by a slaughtering of the last four with three pars. The thirty-four points brought home a total of seventy-one, which was plenty to win the trophy, and a double helping of points.

Harry had the better of both Stan and Blighty after the front nine, and he looked like stretching his lead further until a wrong ball play on the 13th marked the start of a serious oil leak that cruelled his chipping that had stood him in good stead until that time. Old Reliable played the round of the day with a couple of birdies contributing to our total of seven for the day. Those, with a couple of other improvements, took about four from his Eclectic total as well. Steve reckoned his chipping was still letting him down, but it can’t have been too bad, as he finished only a point behind Craig, making a threesome in second place with 69 points.

Brendon is suffering from some sort of hand injury, which might go some way to explain some of his erratic shot-making, that served to limit his score making capacity. It is unclear whether it was an errant iron or a purposeful putt along the ground from about 80m out on the 10th, but it helped him to an easy enough par. You don’t have to post pictures on Instagram! SOS seemed pretty happy with his handicap equalling round today, particularly after he scored a genuine birdie on the first, using his own ball. There were two balls side by side on the green in his line, so he had one moved right, and one moved left. Then he put his chip between the markers and into the hole, which helped to secure a share of third place. Then there were a run of Andrews. AndrewV did enough to sneak into 4th place, and he was closely followed by Blighty in 5th.

The ProPin was set on the 12th, and there were reports of several just outside the 5m limit. Brendon paced his, and decided that it was worth a taping, but the tape did not lie, and he was just beyond the end of the tape. No such problem on the 18th for the BallPin, and the inside ProPin, where he easily outdid Pepsi’s 11.5m, with a shot to 0.53m. There was no video evidence, as the HIO system was not operational. Pepsi did, however, collect a ball for his shot to the BallPin on the 4th.

SteveG has a habit of getting into tight spots from time to time. Luckily, relief from staked trees takes precedence over the play as it lies rule, but the state of the plant inside the guard must be in question. There is a suggestion that Marc is getting his chipping and pitching swing under control, with some fine shots reported today. It showed in the score-line with a finish just one point shy of playing to his handicap. Nalin is becoming familiar with the course, and, as a result, he is becoming something of an expert at playing a six iron to keep the ball low out of trees. The first wasn’t SOS’s only ‘how’s that’ moment. He took out his driver on the 10th, and, for some reason, teed the ball remarkably high. As a result, the club went under, the ball headed skywards, and finished at the base of the hill. He then smashed a three wood just short of the green, chipped it close and sank the putt for an ‘easy’ par. Rodger would dearly love to win Stuart’s trophy, but he reckons that he must have upset the golf gods because he manages to stuff up two or three holes on each nine despite dealing with the rest comfortably. CJ was rather non-committal about his game today, with a ‘Yeah, nah’ about the only response. At least his handicap is safe for next week.

Dan and the early finishers did a great job of cooking the burgers and snags, and there were lashings of onions and a range of mustards and sauces. The concerns for the doneness of the burgers seemed to be unfounded, but the warnings about the ‘hot’ sausages were not too far off the mark. Tomorrow might tell. Rodger thanked everybody for the good attendance for Stuart’s memorial, and expressed the wish that the Club would go from strength to strength, to continue the tradition for years to come. He then presented the Trophy to Stan. A convivial time was had by all and, hopefully, Pepsi’s lunch today did not continue for as long as yesterday’s did (allegedly).

Results for Saturday, 15 Mar 2025
1st Stan Blackshaw (37, 34, 71) 2nd Harry Boughen (37, 32, 69) 2nd Craig Cameron (31, 38, 69) 2nd Steven Gervasoni (32, 37, 69) 3rd Brendon Mitchell (35, 33, 68) 3rd Stephen O’Sullivan (32, 36, 68) 4th Andrew Vogan (33, 34, 67) 5th Andrew Blight (37, 29, 66)

Seniors Results: 1st Stan Blackshaw (37,34,71) 2nd Craig Cameron (31,38,69) 2nd Harry Boughen (37,32,69) 2nd Steven Gervasoni (32,37,69) 3rd Andrew Vogan (33,34,67)

Nearest the Pin Results: ProPin – 12th Jackpot BallPin No 1 – 4th Andrew Petricola BallPin No 2 – 18th Brendon Mitchell

Despite the competition from the Birdmen of the Yarra and the attraction of skiving off for a long weekend, eighteen members (including Stuart’s Dad, Rodger) turned out to try their hand at winning the Stuart Clarke. They were accompanied by Nalin, who was fronting up to submit his second card. Unfortunately, Bobbie had to retire due to feeling somewhat off-colour, and we hope that it is nothing serious, and he is soon back with us. The weather was fine and warmed up as the day progressed, and the management seem to have found some water to apply to, at least, some of the ‘back’ fairways. The north wind that promised to push the temperature even higher held off, and the breezes that did blow even had something of a cooling effect on a sweaty body.

Some people were tipping scores in the forties early on, but, in the end, thirty-seven was the best that we could do with all four contenders claiming that there were a few left out there. For instance, Josh putted for par on the 6th and the ball caught the edge ran around ninety degrees to the back of the hole and stopped with half of the ball hanging over the edge of the hole. Harry pitched into the 17th, and the ball ran over the edge of the hole and finished about 100mm past, just missing the eagle. He almost spoiled SOS’s party, who had driven onto the green with his trusty three wood, and sank a three-metre putt to get the eagle and clean out the four eggs that were sitting in the nest. We won’t mention SOS’s power shank from the 18th tee, that finished at the base of the hill below the 17th tee, that followed.

Brendon could have come unstuck on the 4th when he played a provisional with a carefully chosen yellow ball. It finished remarkably close to another yellow ball of the same brand and identifying number, that was being used by Blighty. Blighty being Blighty, his ball was rather weather-beaten, whereas Brendon’s was a brand sparkler. As it turned out, Brendon’s original wasn’t OOB, so all turned out to the good. Rodger didn’t sound too happy with his game, but, then, he was playing without a handicap on his card, so the scoring wasn’t done until after the round. Four strokes in arrears is not a bridge too far for him to achieve his long held goal of winning Stuart’s Trophy. At the end of the day, any of the list in the top five placings, and a couple just outside the list as well, could easily do a Bradbury for a come from behind win.

The first BallPin was on the 15th, and AndrewV had cunningly placed the red marker in the shadows towards the back of the green, where it was nigh on invisible until you tripped over it. Unfortunately, Dan was able to make it even closer (quite close, apparently), but he missed the putt, so that score did not contribute to our tally of birdies today. On the 18th, Porks usually registers for the video replay, but, today, he didn’t. His shot headed straight for the pin, and he actually hoped that it wouldn’t go in. And it didn’t, but, at just 0.47m past and in line, he easily knocked off Adam for the ball, and should be a fair chance for the inside ProPin as well. Our ProPin was on the 7th, and the win by Brendon at 4.58m was slightly controversial, as there was a failure to put out the marker as a guide to the following groups. No birdie there, so that left our total for the day at four.

Porks lashed out and bought himself a brand-new driver, all specially fitted, just for him. On the first, he was lucky to get past the red markers by dint of the ball making it onto the path and getting a good bounce. Prez was not so lucky on the 11th, but he claimed that it was because he wanted to welcome Nalin with a shout. Marc had a variable day with his driver. He absolutely smashed one, a measured 270m, on the 13th, but failed to make the red markers on the 17th. CJ whacked one ‘too straight’ from the 17th into the rough stuff along the course boundary. Chopped it out of the rough, pitched onto the green, and sank a big putt for par, declaring – that is why I’m on single figures. Prez made a drive on the first that was a bit left in the direction of the tank. A search failed to find it. At the second tee, Dan had a need to find somewhere private, and headed up the steps to the bank of the tank. There on the path he found the missing ball.

Don’t forget, all members are welcome to register to play next week, and we need accurate numbers for catering for the barbecue lunch after the round. Traditionally, we wear a loud Hawaiian shirt as a nod to Stuart’s penchant for similar styles of dress. If your wardrobe does not extend that far, Op Shops such as Salvos or Savers can probably fit you out. Let’s see you all, for Stuart.

Results for Saturday, 08 Mar 2025
Leaderboard Round 1: 1st Stan Blackshaw (37) 1st Andrew Blight (37) 1st Harry Boughen (37) 1st Josh Hunt (37) 2nd Brendon Mitchell (35) 3rd Rodger Clarke (33) 3rd Andrew Vogan (33) 4th Steven Gervasoni (32) 4th Stephen O’Sullivan (32) 5th Craig Cameron (31)

Seniors Leaderboard: 1st Andrew Blight (37) 1st Harry Boughen (37) 1st Stan Blackshaw (37) 2nd Andrew Vogan (33) 2nd Rodger Clarke (33) 3rd Steven Gervasoni (32)

Nearest the Pin Results: ProPin – 7th Brendon Mitchell BallPin No 1 – 15th Dan Marie BallPin No 2 – 18th Ryan Porker

Eagle’s Nest Results: Eagle – 17th Stephen O’Sullivan

With all due respect to the winner of the March Monthly Medal – who is a different bloke to the one announced as the winner at the after-party (see more on that below) – the day’s headline act belongs to Gordo.

Playing in Group 3 (of 4) with prospective new member Nalin (welcome Nalin by the way!) and Bobby, who was of course on his best behaviour for our new member, Gordo was taking on Andrew V in Match Play.

Standing on the 6th tee all square, Gordo squirted his tee shot right and worried it might be in the hazard. But he was in luck – or so he thought, when finding a nice three-striped yellow Callaway ball nowhere near the hazard. He whacked it down the fairway and moved on …..

Meanwhile a few moments prior, playing in the group behind our 4th group was Andrew V’s wife, who, with her favourite three-striped yellow Callaway ball, had squirted her second shot on the 5th to somewhere between the 5th and 6th fairways.

You guessed it. Gordo had hit the wrong ball and copped a two-stroke penalty.

Andrew rubbed salt into the wound by making a great par on the 7th to Gordo’s bogey and suddenly Gordo was 2 down and shaking his head. He did rally and got to 1 up after 12, but Andrew won 3 of the next 4 holes and closed it out 2 and 1.

In the other Match Play contests, Johnny Q (a winner 4 and 3) hit the lead on the third and was never headed against Tim, who managed two double figures scores, including a 10 on the 2nd and 14 on the 8th, which might have included a world record three shanks.

John’s highlights included a stellar tee shot on the 4th from a crazy hard back left tee position to win 3 weeks of cash on offer there. He was also chuffed with a chip in birdie on the 10th and banked fourth placed points with a net 73, shared with Stan.

Stan looked set for higher honours with a stellar front 9 but lost the plot on the back and along the way gifted his Match Play to Porks 2 and 1.

Honourable mention to Targe (75) who earned 5th placed points and a bloke everyone was calling Beast (76) who might have shared 5th with Targe if his handicap was the 9 he put on his card, but it’s one less than that so he was relegated to just out of the points on 76 with Bobby and Matt, followed by Brendon on 77, Gordo on 78 and Tim the clear NAGA with ….. Harry, what is the world record highest ever net stroke NAGA score?

Welcome back Billy by the way, it seems a long time since we last you saw you out there with us at Royal Ivanhoe. Indeed, the last time you played, it was a couple of months after Collingwood won a Premiership when Craig McRae was less distracted by his horses. Hopefully, we will see you more often in future.

SoS and Andrew V shared third placed points with 72. In the process SoS snuck up a few places to 5th in a tightly packed leaderboard for the Club Championship. Could this be SoS’s year? He was sporting a brand new set of Mizuno irons today, complete with fancy covers on them. Maybe that pay rise the police got during the week was too much? You heard it here first. Look out for SoS this year!

The leader in both the Seniors Championship and the main Club Championship (and the Eclectic as well) is Steve G who snuck 5 points ahead of an absent CJ with second place today. Initially declared the winner on a countback after 6 pars in his last 8 holes, the stewards discovered there had been an inadvertent adding error on his card. His back 9 added up to 41 not 40, so his score of net 70 was one more than earlier thought.

This left Porks with a net 69 as winner of the March Monthly medal. Congratulations Porks. This books your spot in the end of year David Primrose Champion of Champions field, joining the already qualified Peps, Brendon, Harry, SoS and Steve G.

The course staff member putting out the white markers was obviously in a mood. The 4th and 15th were not only way back but also way left using a narrow band of half the tee-ground width or less. The 10th was so far back a few blokes said it was in the car park.

The 2nd tee markers were as far back as anybody can remember and struck fear into most of the field, except Porks who hooked a little top spin runner with his old driver and then bunted a 4 iron just short of the green for an easy chip and putt par.

Not only did nobody else in the field make a par, nobody scored a 5 either. In fact, take out the Porks par, the other 13 players today took 91 strokes to play the 2nd, that’s an average of exactly 7.0 per player!

Porks also closed strongly with a brilliant 8 iron into the 18th that flew right over the top tier pin and was a bit stiff to finish just off the back of the green, leaving Matty to win the 18th Nearest-the-pin ball with a shot that finished well away on the bottom tier.

Andrew V won the other ball with a great shot in close on the 12th.

Harry likes a birdie count – 3.

I don’t do birthdays. Harry will be back from leave next week to take you through the first round of the season’s second major, the prestigious and emotional Stuart Clarke Memorial.

Results for Saturday, 01 Mar 2025
1st Ryan Porker (69) 2nd Steven Gervasoni (70) 3rd Stephen O’Sullivan (72) 3rd Andrew Vogan (72) 4th Stan Blackshaw (73) 4th John Quinlan (73) 5th Targe Mifsud (75)

Seniors Results: 1st Steven Gervasoni (70) 2nd Andrew Vogan (72) 3rd Stan Blackshaw (73)

Nearest the Pin Results: ProPin – 4th John Quinlan BallPin No 1 – 12th Andrew Vogan BallPin No 2 – 18th Matt Hunt