Next Week’s Details

Blighty and Porks complained loudly today that the Blog is getting too long.

So here goes. In 500 words or less.

It was hot.

It was slow (groups in front of our first group the main culprits).

Prez wanted it known for the blog that he missed at least 19 par putts today.

By the by, Matty Hunt plays a good violin when Prez is talking forlornly about missed opportunities.

Whitey wants Harry to start a new Stats Tab on Draughties. Backdated to the start of the season. Like a Championship Table for Draughties. He had his second for the year on the 8th today. Harry, would Whitey be leading the Season Draughties Championship with two?

Michael wants to start a competition for the Arsiest Par Ever after witnessing Steve’s on the 8th today. Drive low and left through the big tree, hitting the tree hard but somehow keeping on going straight and quite long to a good position on the left hand side just off the fairway, nice open line to the green etc. Big shanked second heading over the Yarra to Green Acres which hits a tree and bounces back on the fairway. Pitch on and one-putt. Par. Can anybody beat that for Arsiest Par Ever? CJ?

There was no sign of SoS’s cocky on the 7th and SoS cleaned up the money for Nearest the Pin there with a 5-iron to 1.84 metres. He then backed up and knocked off Porks to win the ball on the 12th. Porks booked the video thing on the 18th and was only 2.76 metres short of a hole-in-one to the top tier pin which was good enough for our ball and the Inside nearest the pin.

Dan took the day’s best photo on the 1st. Blighty chipped it to a couple of inches. Craig chipping from another angle said leave it there Blighty, I am going to hit your ball, and he did, very gently nudging it, but still neither ball went in the hole.

The next best photo was Steve without his driver head on the 16th. Like when Rory McIlroy lost his 9-iron head (Google Rory McIlroy crazy club break) but the ball finished on the green, Steve’s drive went miles down the fairway, the driver head went about 60 metres.

The three blokes who got first placed points today are lucky. Last week the same score would have been fourth.

Old Reliable stormed home with three 3-pointers to get second. Two blokes shared third. Three other blokes got 4th and three other blokes got 5th.

The day’s worst photo was your blog writers attempt to get a good shot of the only three blokes of 15 who didn’t get points – without naming names, Brendon, Peps and Targe.

Luckily Brendon in the background is all fuzzy in the photo as he is doing something with his finger that might not be suitable for a family friendly blog like this one.

PS. Harry is backing up from shooting his age last week and winning the Monthly Medal by doing some bike riding in South Australia with his wife as part of the Tour Down Under. The Blog will be updated when our scouts get the money shot of Harry in lycra.

The End.

540 words Porks/Blighty. Next week we go under 500.

Results for Saturday, 11 Jan 2025
1st Michael Gourlay (37) 1st Matt Hunt (37) 1st Dan Marie (37) 2nd Craig Cameron (36) 3rd Andrew Blight (34) 3rd Stephen O’Sullivan (34) 4th Steven Gervasoni (33) 4th Robert Priems (33) 4th Andrew Vogan (33) 5th Josh Hunt (32) 5th Ryan Porker (32) 5th Rodney White (32)

Seniors Results: 1st Matt Hunt (37) 1st Michael Gourlay (37) 2nd Craig Cameron (36) 3rd Andrew Blight (34)

Nearest the Pin Results: ProPin – 7th Stephen O’Sullivan BallPin No 1 – 12th Stephen O’Sullivan BallPin No 2 – 18th Ryan Porker

Where have all the young men gone? Sounds like a good line for a song. Or a question about the line-up on the podia today. The weather man had promised a bit of a scorcher today, and everybody was very happy to line up for the early start. Fifteen happy chappies, were perhaps a little less happy with the ‘standard’ of players in the groups in front of our happy little band. The day did warm up more than somewhat before we finished the round, and we did not envy those who were just departing the first as we gathered in the shade of the Clubhouse to rest and recuperate. The greens were in fine condition, and they had been heavily watered. So much so that there was a significant pond in evidence on the lower level of the 9th green. However, it did disperse fairly quickly. Unfortunately, the course has no allocation from the river, and, so, only the tees and greens are getting much water, while only the 1st and 9th fairways are getting any at all. You do have to keep up appearances! As a result, there was plenty of run, and some bony lies on the rest of the course.

Harry started off with a par, and tried not to think of ill omens as a result. The second served up a double, but that was OK from the white tees, although playing off the blues would have offered little advantage, with the majority of holes having them either equal with or further back than the whites. A par on the 3rd was followed by a near HIO on the 4th for a birdie, closely followed by another birdie on the 5th, bringing the young fellah square with the card after five holes. He rounded out the front nine with three bogies and a par to finish just three over the card for a PB on the front nine. A number of just missed par putts kept the bogies flowing on the back, and a duffed putt on the 16th resulted in a double. A dash for the line with a pair of pars to finish, brought home a card of 80 strokes, exactly matching his age, and a net score of 62, which was enough to win the Medal and to ensure that he will not be playing off 18 for a little while.

With pretty much the whole field and the following ladies in the gallery, Steve’s drive from the first looked as if it could have been a ‘shout’. Fortunately, the ball had enough momentum to get through the shrubbery, and Steve was able to smash it well up the fairway to finish the hole with a very commendable bogie. There was just enough of a sprinkling of deviations from the standard, including a confidence shattering quad on the 13th, to prevent Steve from outdoing Harry, though he was feeling fairly confident of a win with a net score at the end of the day, of 64 net. With a bit of work on his short game, the local ‘experts’ suggest that he could be a force to be reckoned with in the near future, although he does hold the top spot in the Championship tables at the moment.

Another pair that had moments of wondering, is it possible, were Michael and Targe, who both fronted the judges with net scores of 66. To achieve that, Michael had to par the course, which he did with two birdies and two bogies. One under par from the first, he did wonder whether more than these ducks were going to line up at the end of the day as he strives to match (or improve on) David Primroses’s course record of 62 off the beater. Targe had a bit of a shaky start, but he soon settled down to finish the front nine just a couple of strokes shy of his handicap. He really put the pedal to the metal on the back and joined Michael at two under for the round. Thinking to the future, Michael was even working out the count-back, in case they happened to share top spot.

The big gum tree by the 7th tee is a favourite perch for a rather raucous sulphur crested cockatoo, that seems to delight in screeching at the top of his voice while people are preparing to take their shot. He also seems to have a particular penchant for giving full voice while SOS is on the tee. It was a good thing that SOS did not have his service pistol today, so he had to resort to pitching golf balls to try to move his nemesis along. No such luck either for Whitey and Blighty, who both blamed their less than stellar tee shots on SOS’s ‘mocky cocky’. Despite this little set-back, both were able to finish the round right on handicap with net 68. There were concerns that there might have been double cream when Blighty waxed lyrical over a ‘creamed’ drive from the 9th tee. Rounding out the podium today was Ken, who did not produce mangoes today, but he did produce everybody’s favourite net score to take out fifth place to fill all point winning positions from the ranks of the Seniors.

There probably was never any doubt that Harry was going to collect the first ProPin on the 4th, although some did try to suggest that he had been beaten. The ProPin was set for the 15th, and Michael was very concerned that he had been overtaken by a shot to less than 2.51m, as he had promised to split the loot with his playing partners. He needn’t have worried, and the split was duly made, though he did have to encourage Whitey to put it on one of his horses. Blighty had no compunction taking his share. The second BallPin on the 18th was a bit tough with the tee back and the pin on the top shelf, but it ended up being well contested, and CJ was the ultimate victor from Michael and Targe. CJ was the only one to make the birdie, which added one more to bring our total for the day to 12. Targe was on the lower deck, but did he really need four putts to get the ball to finish.

CJ was pretty pleased with his three over the card for the front nine, and held out high hopes of getting an early entry into the Champion of Champions field. Unfortunately, the gasket on the sump plug started to weep just a little as he rounded onto the back, and at the 13th, the plug fell out completely, and he struggled home blowing smoke until his slightly face-saving result on the last. Perhaps it was a good thing that AndrewV’s wife was keeping him under control from the group of ladies following along. Gordo would have liked to make a better fist of the front nine, but he did manage to improve things on the back, managing to, at least, get a par on the 12th. On the 18th, he decided to chance his arm with the Jackpot for a Hole-in-One, and managed to chunk one to the left among the trees only part way up the rise. Not a great memento of the day! He cracked his next shot to almost gimme distance, and rounded off the round with his second par for the day.

Results for Saturday, 04 Jan 2025
1st Harry Boughen (62) 2nd Steven Gervasoni (64) 3rd Michael Gourlay (66) 3rd Targe Mifsud (66) 4th Andrew Blight (68) 4th Rodney White (68) 5th Ken Watson (69)

Seniors Results: 1st Harry Boughen (62) 2nd Steven Gervasoni (64) 3rd Michael Gourlay (66) 3rd Targe Mifsud (66)

Nearest the Pin Results: ProPin – 15th Michael Gourlay BallPin No 1 – 4th Harry Boughen BallPin No 2 – 18th Chris Priems

As usual with a small field (we managed 9) there was interest in whether it might be one of those days when everybody wins a prize/gets a point.

Well sort of that’s how it worked out. Porks was a clear NAGA and missed out on the points, but he did win a Nearest-the-pin ball after a stellar shot into the 18th nearly went in for a hole in one.

Everybody else managed at least a point with Dan and Steve sharing 5th on 31 points, CJ in solo 4th with 32, the trio of Harry, JQ and Blighty sharing 3rd on 35 and “summer specialist” Gordo – in preparation for defending his January Monthly Medal next week – in solo 2nd with 36. This left Michael in front with 39 points to collect his first points of the new season.

CJ – whose Eclectic Card already has 5 birdies in the first 6 holes, started on fire again until some discussion on the sixth tee about the number of trees down around the course, presumably due to the wind on Boxing Day. From the sixth tee you could see one fallen down and covering a fair bit of territory in the right rough and protruding into the fairway. CJ promptly hit his worse drive of the day right at it and there was discussion about the rules if the ball was amongst the branches, most of which would have been too big to move.

It was soon discovered that CJ’s ball had pulled up short of the fallen tree and nestled beautifully into the base of another tree. No Priemsy luck there. After an unplayable and a missed putt, 7 a wipe went on the card and a bit of air went out of the pumped up tyres. Another wipe on the 8th after hitting two balls into the Yarra attempting the hero second shot over the trees and CJ was on the back foot all day thereafter.

Unusually, the greens had actually been mowed on the morning before play and were running fast and true. Despite ideal putting conditions, including very few tricky pins, there were plenty of blokes complaining they still couldn’t hole a putt. Porks hit 9 greens in regulation but still managed to shoot 13 over the card off the stick and lost count of how many birdie putts turned into three-putts.

Harry putted well early but then started doing his “just shaving the hole” thing on the back 9. With a bit of better luck with his putter on holes 10, 12, 13, 16 and 17 his score might have been 4 or 5 better.

Michael, despite being happy enough to shoot par off the stick was still shaking his head about having 6 birdie putts from 4-6 feet and only making one of them.

Gordo turned with 21 points on the front 9 but a wipe on the 13th was costly, as was a double bogey on 16. Handily, with a handicap of 14.5 = 15, there was no damage to the Gordo handicap and who knows, the extra sneaky 15th stroke retained might be handy when the January Monthly Medal is run and won next week.

JQ and Blighty both had good rounds going and might have finished with higher honours if not for some hiccups on the last few holes (wipes for Blighty on 16 and 18 and single pointers for JQ on 17 and 18). As some consolation, Blighty gains an extra shot on his handicap, moving from 20 to 21.

Michael won the $9 ProPin on on the 4th with a good shot into 2.2 metres (but of course missed the putt). Harry hit a great shot into the 15th, arrow straight all the way into about 5 metres from the pin and looked a certainty for the ball there until Gordo hit it left of the green and got a lucky bounce off the hill to sneak inside Harry. Funny game golf.

Meanwhile, I am not sure if this is a new initiative, or whether I just hadn’t noticed it before, but it was good to see a “JOIN ONE OF OUR 4 GOLF CLUBS” ad prominently displayed on an A-frame on the way into the Pro-Shop today. Through our various different strategies, let’s hope there are a few more Andrew Vogans out there who will discover we exist and bolster our membership numbers for 2025.

Meanwhile big cheerio to club stalwart Bobby McDonald (958 games and still counting). Bob has been crook and had a stint in hospital and missed our end of year break-up. Via Gordo, Bob is reported to be feeling better and despite doctors orders to rest-up he plans to be back playing and adding to his games count tally before too long. Cheers Bob! Get well soon.

Results for Saturday, 28 Dec 2024
1st Michael Gourlay (39) 2nd Gordon Hill (36) 3rd Andrew Blight (35) 3rd Harry Boughen (35) 3rd John Quinlan (35) 4th Chris Priems (32) 5th Steven Gervasoni (31) 5th Dan Marie (31)

Seniors Results: 1st Michael Gourlay (39) 2nd Gordon Hill (36) 3rd Andrew Blight (35) 3rd Harry Boughen (35)

Nearest the Pin Results: ProPin – 4th Michael Gourlay BallPin No 1 – 15th Gordon Hill BallPin No 2 – 18th Ryan Porker

It’s all over, except for the singing and dancing. And, there’s a fair chance that there’s some of that going on around Eaglemont or Ivanhoe at this very minute. While it wasn’t a record field, there was a very healthy turnout of twenty members to fight it out for the David Primrose Champion of Champions, and the subsidiary, but no less hotly contested, Chump of Chumps. There would have been twenty-one, but Bob was struck down with some sort of chest infection, and has had to spend some time in hospital as a result. All the best for a speedy and complete recovery from all of your mates at Ivanhoe, Bob. The morning started off a bit on the overcast side, and some worried that there could be a shower in it. There was one report of a few drops, but it must have been very localised if it did happen. After a while the clouds cleared away, and a very mild sunny day developed, although the breeze did pick up a bit at times. The other commentary was that the fairways could do with a bit of a drink, so there was plenty of run on the ball. So much so, that Targe reckons he has never hit the ball so far as he did from the 11th tee to finish not all that far from the green.

Despite some confusion about who had to keep what score, and why, most people seem to have got it right. Two people who did get it right were Blighty and SOS, who pretty much demolished the course to produce a pair of 39 point Stableford cards. SOS did have a bit of a nervous Nellie on the 9th, and scored a triple to finish the front nine, seven over the card. That didn’t faze him though, and he breezed through the back nine, just four over the pace, to finish the round with a seventy-nine and a net score of 65. This won him the Champion of Champions trophy, and top points for the day. Blighty played a very steady hand, and managed to avoid the dreaded zero result for the whole round, and brought in nineteen points on the front nine, as well another twenty on the back. Fortunately, the error that his marker made in adding up the strokes taken was not repeated for the points total, so his 39 points was well good enough to take out the Chump of Chumps title for the year.

At one stage today, Whitey was about 150m from the green, and decided to pull out the ‘driving’ putter that he is famous for using to good effect in the three-club events that we had a few years ago. He must have lost none of his skills as the ball finished only a couple of metres from the pin. It is likely that this effort helped him to put together a pair of nineteens for his total of 38 points to fill second place for the day, and he might be ruing the gash on the 12th, which could easily have cost him the Chump of Chumps crown. CJ started out with an interesting sequence of scores. Following a one pointer on the first, he increased the number of points per hole by one on each of the next three holes. Unfortunately, it would have required a hole-in-one on the 5th to keep the sequence going, and the rate of scoring fell away a little, and he finished on seventeen for the nine and thirty-seven for the round. Matt also started out with a fairly healthy scoring rate, but then punctuated the card with, just a few too many, not so flash, scores to spoil his chances in the main event, and, he too, finished on 37 points. AndrewV played his first official competition with us today, and showed that his GA handicap is a fair indication of his ability. Unfortunately, there were a couple of point-taking errors on his card, and his score turned out to be thirty-seven points, rather than the thirty-nine points originally reported. So, Andrew will have to be satisfied with sharing third place with the other two reprobates.

The leaderboard is very crowded today, with another three-way tie for 4th place. Gordon had bagged a spot in the first group, probably to deal with break-up business, but spent his spare time collecting and collating the cards. For a long time, his card held pride of place on the top of the heap with his tally of 36 points, and a net of 68 in the main event. The twenty points on the front nine made an excellent start, but an unfortunate run of singletons on the back took the shine off the card just a little. Dan doesn’t seem to be adversely affected by the shuttling back and forth to Shep, and he continues to be there or thereabouts when it comes to the tallying of the scores. Pepsi, once again, demonstrated why he was the top dog in the Strokeplay Championship, although an uncharacteristic five on the 18th meant that he only managed to play to his handicap, rather than break it. So, a trio of thirty-six pointers shared the podium for fourth place. Rounding out the points for the day were Targe and Harry, just a single point further back on thirty-five.

The first BallPin was set for the 12th, and Gordo hit the ground running and put his name on the card. A few groups later, Harry came along, and easily got closer in to stake his claim for some graft. All was not yet done, when Dan cracked a beauty that headed straight for the hole and hit the pin. Unfortunately for Dan, it was just a bit too fast to drop into the hole, and it was just fast enough to end up a centimetre or two further away than Harry. The second BallPin on the 18th, looked as if it hadn’t gone off because Matt, in his excitement at measuring the winning distance for the inside ProPin, ‘stole’ their tape measure and put it in our box to confuse the adjudicators. And, yes, he did win our ball and the inside voucher as well. The ProPin was on the 15th, and people were nervous that it might not go off, leaving a substantial pool for next week. CJ came to the rescue, and measured his shot at 4.41m to collect the cash. He was even able to sink the putt for the birdie and helped our total to 12 for the day.

Ken did us proud again with a great selection of mangos for our delectation. He also marked a bit of a milestone by making it to 100 rounds with the Club. Harry found himself in an interesting spot on the 10th with the ball delicately balanced amongst a pile of bark and sticks with not enough wiggle room to be able to copy Raj’s effort last week. A few holes later, Porks was similarly close to the base of a tree, and had to resort to the right-handed upside down club shot as well. On the 17th, Rob was not up against a tree, but his ball was nicely ‘wrapped’ up in a curly length of bark making a trio of unusual lies today. While on the topic of the 17th, Steve apparently made several ‘donations’ to the campaign to fill the penalty area with balls on his way to a double figure score for the hole. Rather uncharacteristically, Brendon chunked his tee shot on the 12th, and the ball popped up and finished barely past the red markers. The following group was rather amused to see him taking his second shot from the ‘ladies’. Josh was not quite so lucky on the 2nd, where he racked up a double draughtie, but Rob wasn’t too happy, because he forgot and bought one for Josh instead after the round. JQ was overheard giving himself a good talking to as he negotiated his way from the 16th fairway to the 14th green. Michael was a bit upset that his New year resolution to score points every time he played has already been broken.

After the round, we adjourned to the function room for a couple of convivial beverages, and a bit of a nosh up to celebrate the passing of another successful year for the Club, albeit that numbers on the tee have been generally on the low side. Once everybody had had their fill, there was the presentation of trophies, ably carried out by the dynamic duo of President Rob and Rod Grant with enthusiastic applause from the assembled masses.

Don’t forget, Club and, more importantly, GA subs are due asap. We have to finalise the GA position quickly so that the Club is not saddled with expense for non-active members when we submit our census data at the end of the year.

Results for Saturday, 21 Dec 2024
1st Andrew Blight (39) 1st Stephen O’Sullivan (39) 2nd Rodney White (38) 3rd Matt Hunt (37) 3rd Chris Priems (37) 3rd Andrew Vogan (37) 4th Gordon Hill (36) 4th Dan Marie (36) 4th Andrew Petricola (36) 5th Harry Boughen (35) 5th Targe Mifsud (35)

Seniors Results: 1st Andrew Blight (39) 2nd Rodney White (38) 3rd Andrew Vogan (37) 3rd Chris Priems (37) 3rd Matt Hunt (37)

Nearest the Pin Results: ProPin – 15th Chris Priems BallPin No 1 – 12th Harry Boughen BallPin No 2 – 18th Matt Hunt