Next Week’s Details

The big question was, has enough time passed for the excesses of Christmas Day and Boxing Day to have worn off sufficiently to pass a breath test. Josh will be out testing that theory tonight, but he would not divulge the location, even for a moderate bribe. Matt was quite convinced that his ‘shabby’ performance could quite positively be sheeted home to said excesses. It looked as if we would only have three groups, but a couple of late entries meant that we could start out with four groups of three with our twelve players on deck. One of those threes ended up as a two, when Michael had to retire hurt after some unspecified act in the men’s facilities. They said it was his back that was broken, though it could also have been his heart, judging by the state of the scorecard that he left behind. The temperature was a little cool to start with, but it soon warmed up to a nice balmy degree. The course was well-prepared, with the blower even being used to clear litter from the fairways, but there was at least one gum nut left on the greens, as Harry will attest having suffered the effect that it had on his ball as it made its way to the cup (not).

Gordon started off nicely enough with a par on the first, and smartly enough snared another on the third. Things slowed down a bit after that, and, by the end of the nine, he was a couple short of playing to his handicap. Things looked like following a similar course for the first three holes on the back, when all hell broke loose, and he tallied up eighteen points on the last six holes, thanks to a birdie and four pars over the last five to finish just three over the card for the back nine. Thirty-nine points was enough to give his handicap a bit of a caning (probably bringing it closer to where it should be), and to collect the top spot in both sides of the comp today.

Raj’s form has been a bit up and down like a bride’s nightie in recent times, but, today, he was on song, and produced a very creditable thirty-seven points. He did put his score down, in part, to his fifth shot on the second. After criss-crossing the fairway, his fourth left him in a bush, some metres from the green. He played the shot out of the bush, and, lo and behold, it found its way into the hole for a slightly unlikely bogie. Pepsi also rocked it in with a thirty-seven on a card that did include three gashes. He was also credited with an ‘air swing’, although it was, apparently, a left-handed shot trying to extricate the ball from the depths of a bush. His view that he had a chance of getting points today because Ryan was not playing was well and truly borne out. AndrewV was fairly smashing the ball ‘up the guts’ with a baby draw all day. He very quietly mumbled something about a new ‘skill’ that he has been working on. It wasn’t determined whether this was a gift from Santa or whether there was professional help involved. Whatever, he made up the third in second place. This was enough to score him a ‘rocket’ up the Order of Merit, but nobody has managed to unseat Porks from top spot yet.

There was another trio in third place. Blighty gave up dog-sitting to be here, and did some Targe-sitting instead. Like quite a few players, his front nine might have disappointed slightly, but the back nine made all the difference to the end result. The same can be said for Harry, who wonders how he can overcome the ‘jinx’ on the front. In contrast, Targe carded equal scores on both nines. Rob probably could have finished a lot better than he did when his ever helpful trees failed him from the 12th to the 14th, leaving terrible ‘gash-marks’ on his card. During the announcements, Matt put up a big cheer when he realised that he was going to score a point for filling fifth place. We won’t mention the only two finishers not to score a point.

Nalin reckons that his score could have been much worse, if it had not been for the number of Priems trees that helped to keep his ball on the fairway. Josh claims that he was taking a post-shot practice swing on the 15th tee when the club ‘slipped’ out of his hands, and carried further than the ball had travelled.

AndrewV had put his drive on the 4th to about a metre from the hole, pin high. Harry reached for the box, only to find the pocket in his bag empty, and realised that he had left the NTP gear back at the Clubhouse. Andrew politely declined the offer to relocate the ProPin to the 15th, so some improvisation was required to provide the necessary ‘evidence’. Tees, a ball, a scrap of paper, and a plastic bag ‘saved’ the day, and Andrew’s shot was unchallenged by the rest of the field. When you are hot, you are hot, and Andrew got his name on the card for the BallPin at the 12th, to collect that trophy as well. He didn’t make either birdie, but he did nail one on the 5th to contribute to the six that we scored as a group today. The 18th had the pin on the bottom deck, and Pepsi’s shot was right on the mark. However, it had a modicum of backspin, and ran back off the green, and a fair way down the apron as well. Raj also put in a valiant bit for the honour, but his shot finished about a grass-blade short of the cut. Which left Gordo’s shot, way up on the back deck, as the closest to the hole to win the ball.

Gordo has bought an engraving tool to update some of the trophies that the professionals will not tackle. He gave it a trial on Raj’s Monthly Medal. Let’s say he could do with some practice, or put the bottle of red aside, if we want to see something more than what can be described (politely) as ‘rustic charm’. Matt reckons he has never driven the 14th, so he was confident to hit off when the group in front was still on the green. The ball finished on the side of the 15th low tee area, just past the path up to the top. He doesn’t like to reveal how many strokes he had taken by the time he got onto the green. However, the letter ‘f’ had to be used (in a spelling way, not the other, though it probably was). On the 14th as well, AndrewV’s baby draw took him into the long grass on the left, but he had a good idea where it was, and he made a reasonable fist of hacking a ball out into play. It was only as he lined up over his second putt that he realised that it was not his ball that he had played.

Results for Saturday, 27 Dec 2025
1st Gordon Hill (39) 2nd Rajesh Mahto (37) 2nd Andrew Petricola (37) 2nd Andrew Vogan (37) 3rd Andrew Blight (34) 3rd Harry Boughen (34) 3rd Targe Mifsud (34) 4th Robert Priems (33) 5th Matt Hunt (31)

Seniors Results: 1st Gordon Hill (39) 2nd Andrew Vogan (37) 3rd Andrew Blight (34) 3rd Harry Boughen (34) 3rd Targe Mifsud (34)

Nearest the Pin Results: ProPin – 4th Andrew Vogan BallPin No 1 – 12th Andrew Vogan BallPin No 2 – 18th Gordon Hill

The big question this morning was – How’s Stan? Well, despite numerous cracked ribs and other structural damage, he seems to be not too bad for somebody who came to earth with a fair old thud. Obviously, it is going to be some little while before we see his smiling face back on the tee, but the Club, to a man, wishes him a speedy and complete recovery. With Stan out, our field of Club members was reduced to twenty, and Dan’s ‘special’ guest, Charlie, who is back from the Old Dart briefly, pushed the field to twenty-one all up. Dan’s other late entrant didn’t quite make it. The weather was overcast for the most part, and there was a slight mizzle around tee time, but it was barely enough to dampen anything, certainly not the member’s enthusiasm. The course was well prepared, and, although the blowers were reported to be out early on, a few of the greens still had a bit of leaf litter on them, although it was far from excessive. The greens were aerated during the week, and showed a tendency to be fast, though it was still possible to leave a putt short of the mark. Obviously, there were some people who didn’t leave them short, and eleven birdies were the result.

Targe had a bit of a tale to tell, the gist of which seems to be that somebody had persuaded him to change his swing, but that he had decided to go back to his ‘old’ technique, and that is what had paid dividends. He did kind of admit that the advent of his Veterans handicap also helped the cause. Whatever the reason, Targe was the top dog today, and headed the field with a very impressive forty points. Because he was not a contender in the David Primrose, he also took away the title of Chump of Chumps. Harry put in a very steady round today, marked by nothing more than a double, which allowed the points to accumulate at a very respectable rate, and he managed to romp into second for the day with thirty-nine points. He did bewail the number of missed chances that could have garnered top spot for him. As he was a contender in the David Primrose, his net score of 65 was more than enough to street the rest of the field and to collect the Champion of Champions Trophy for 2025.

Michael didn’t quite ‘do a Bob’, although the outcome could have been quite spectacular if it hadn’t been for the valiant efforts of Brent. Michael parked his buggy by the 9th green, and, as is his wont, apparently, did not apply the brake. The buggy took off back down the hill, along the path and through the trees, heading for the pond by the 18th tee. Brent sprinted after it, and managed to crash-tackle it before it took a swim, and almost tore a hammie in the process. This little mishap probably had little effect on the ‘choke’ that he made over the last few holes after being two under the card after fourteen. Still, one over and thirty-eight points ain’t to be sneezed at, by anyone’s measure. CJ is getting a bit cheesed off with being overlooked after missing out on the Calcutta distribution last week (this will be rectified in due course), and again this week as el Capitano was reading out the ball run results. There was a three-way tie up for the final point today, and Gordo, JQ and AndrewV all played right to their handicap with thirty-six points.

The first BallPin was on the 15th, and the self-styled King Charles was outclassed by the similarly styled Wizza Wazza. On the 18th, the pin was on the bottom deck, and Porks smashed on up to the green with a bit of pace, and it carried up the slope, turned around, and headed back directly towards the hole. It didn’t quite have the legs to make it back, and pulled up 1.42m short of the mark. On the 12th, for the ProPin, Brent made it to 2.2m, which was enough to hold out against Raj, who made a valiant effort to get inside him.

After the day’s results had been dealt with, the assembled masses adjourned to the Clubhouse function room for a sit-down lunch, a couple of drinks, and the presentation of trophies for the past year. A complete list of the trophies offered up for the year can be found on the website under Statistics/Hall of Fame. Needless to say, a fair swag of them were handed out to Ryan, who has dominated the field for probably more than the twenty-five weeks that he has been top of the Order of Merit. The trophies were presented by Alan Davies, who was an early and long term member of the Club, and he was able to provide a little background on some of the early personalities who are memorialised in our Major trophy list. At the completion of the formal proceedings, a cohort of stayers proceeded to a pub in Heidelberg, and who knows what skulduggery will be the outcome of that gathering.

Wazza had a bit of a struggle with the front nine, and half-way he made a quick dash into the cafe. Almost immediately, his game picked up, and the points flowed freely. Almost as freely as the Canadian Club and Jack Daniel’s that he was swigging. Apparently, Blighty should not give up his day job in favour of sports commentary, as some of his calls were not particularly accurate. It is not clear whether he made a call on his draughtie on the 18th. The tee there was on the high knob, which caused some consternation for the high lofters, who worried about the overhanging tree branches interfering with the flight of their ball. This didn’t faze Bob at all, and he attacked the task with gusto, sent the ball flying vertically into the canopy, which promptly returned the ball behind where he stood. One hole, two shouts! Gordo scored one of the birdies today, on the 15th, by sinking an estimated 12m downHill, turning, putt. On the subject of birdies, Bob got one today, although he did have a five for the hole. The birdie was an actual feathered variety, which Bob reckons was a galah, but others reckon it was a corella. Whatever, it had a serious headache.

Ryan had a couple of ‘off’ holes today. His drive on the 16th was his usual standard, and he lined up for a pretty standard second to the green. Or, so it seemed. A well struck shank speared the ball off at right angles, and it headed into tiger country and out of bounds. Michael was pretty pleased to get a par on the first after putting his drive into the left side trees, attacking an intervening tree with the ball from a one iron to leave himself with a 150m shot to the green. A rescue placed him on the green, and the putt went in. Marc managed to lose both of his scorecards on the 10th hole today, which cause some consternation within his group. Fortunately, the following group was able to restore said cards to their owner before too much damage was done.

Results for Saturday, 20 Dec 2025
1st Targe Mifsud (40) 2nd Harry Boughen (39) 3rd Michael Gourlay (38) 4th Chris Priems (37) 5th Gordon Hill (36) 5th John Quinlan (36) 5th Andrew Vogan (36)

Seniors Results: 1st Targe Mifsud (40) 2nd Harry Boughen (39) 3rd Michael Gourlay (38)

Nearest the Pin Results: ProPin – 12th Brent Rowley BallPin No 1 – 15th Warren Capes BallPin No 2 – 18th Ryan Porker

Enthusiasm was the order of the day as record numbers crowded onto the first tee. Twenty members eventually got their names onto the registration sheet, and SOS chipped in with the names of Zimmer and his mate to make a field of twenty-two. With a late start due to groups ahead, there were quite a few traffic-jams on various parts of the course, leading to a late finish. A few drops of rain had one or two anxiously monitoring the progress of some dark looking clouds in the west, but nothing came of it, and the day warmed up more than somewhat, generating a need to top up the water bottles as supplies were depleted as the round progressed. Remember the policy, stay hydrated and stay shaded. The course is in good condition, and the firm ground can give a fair bit of run if you can stay out of the ‘fuzzy’ bits. There was no real excuse for not scoring well, and we scored twelve birdies for the day, which is about average for the size of the field.

To win a Major, what you really need is consistency. Something like playing exactly to your handicap on both days. And that is exactly what Ryan did on his way to winning the first event of the year, and getting the defence of his Club Championship off to a good start. The reports were trickling in as the round progressed that he had managed a three over on the front, and, if it hadn’t been for his only double on the 18th, equalling, or even breaking par on the back was a possibility. Michael was speculating that Ryan would take over as the lowest handicap member as a result of this win. What Michael was forgetting was that he had completed the round just one over par after being two under across the front, and that he had taken a cut as well. Thus, Michael is still the lowest handicap member on 2.6, with Ryan breathing down his neck on 2.7. Needless to say, Michael carded the best result for the day.

Matt thought he had a bit of a buffer over the rest of the group of chasers that he was playing with. That is, until the 14th hole where the ball proved to be extremely reluctant to drop into the hole, despite several attempts, some from quite short distance. A birdie chance on the 17th also rimmed out, missing a chance for a count-back at least, while avoiding a bogie on the 18th offered a similar chance. Unfortunately, a count-back would have also been a bridge too far. CJ got halfway down the first and realised he hadn’t collected a scorecard, so there was a frantic rush to fill out his card after the round completed. Whether it was because he just copied his marker’s card, or they both made the same arithmetic error, but he finished tied up with Matt in second place. Speaking of second place, the second-best score of the day was put in by Bob, who, it was reported, fairly played out of his skin. His driving from the tee (we won’t mention the driving of his cart) was of such a standard that he out-drove his group from the 9th. After a bit of a hash of his second, he put it all the way up the hill to about a metre from the pin and sank the putt for a par on his way to a net 67.

Harry’s slip in form from last week was entirely down to putting, for sure, with the number of three putts embarrassingly high. Still, he was pleasantly surprised to find that he still managed to slot into third place for the event. Michael’s stellar round today brought him out of the leaderboard wilderness and into fourth place for the event, and he was joined by Brendon, who matched it with Bob on the day to also jump into the placings. Then we had a pair of ‘Bobs’ in fifth place. The ‘real’ Bob and the ‘real’ Priems (aka Prez). Actually, Prez was doing much better until he reached the 16th, where he put his drive out into the tree-line. After big bro’, CJ had caught a tree with his second, Prez felt sorry for him and caught one with his too. But, it was the third shot that really rained on the parade. He caught it absolutely flush, it hit the 125m distance marker so hard that it was probably loosened in its foundations, and the ball finished a good fifty metres further back than where it started. CJ tried to console him with the fact that, at least, he eventually avoided reaching double figures.

Not forgetting that there was another event finalised today, and that was the Stroke Championship with two divisions, Scratch for the best score off the stick over the three weeks, and Handicap for the best net score over the three weeks. Matt started out with high hopes of being able to overtake Michael in the Scratch event, and also holding on to his narrow lead in the Handicap event. Unfortunately, it was not to be, and the ‘debacle’ on the 14th certainly did not help the cause, and definitely robbed him of the chance to take out the handicap event. Long story, short, Michael collected both gongs, taking out both the Scratch and the Handicap Stroke Championships for 2025. Matt and Dan finished equal runners-up in the Handicap, just one stroke back, while daylight was pretty much second in the Scratch event, despite a valiant effort by Ryan to bridge the gap to finish in second place.

It was with some reluctance that SOS was tasked with dealing out the NTP markers, however, he did write the numbers on the back of his thumb as a reminder. When he put his drive on the 4th, which was the ProPin hole, to 1.545m he had absolutely no problem not forgetting that one. And, the distance stood all day. The first BallPin was on the 12th, and quite a few made valiant attempts, but Michael was on the tab first, and nobody could get closer. The 18th was much more fiercely contested, with JQ and Brendon taking their chances, but AndrewV was the man of the day, and recorded his effort at 4.24m, presumably after he added his name to the inside ProPin. Will it be good enough to win the voucher?

Gordo’s tee shot on the 12th just happened to find its way into the penalty area on the left of the tee, although it did get past the red markers. His third left him with an uphill lie from the fringe at the front of the green. His fourth ran as calmly as you like up the green and into the hole. It seems that his group had been playing pinball quite a bit during the round with a number of chips, particularly by Ryan, hitting the pin and popping out of the hole. One of the traffic jams today was on the 15th hole. Raj put, not one, but two balls into the rough on the left before making a shot that could be called respectable. After a search that was reportedly seconds inside the limit, the first ball was found with a shot that threatened to break clubs on tree stumps, but he did manage to winkle it out. He then pitched it onto the green, and sank the putt for a face-saving four. Other than that, according to Raj, less said, better!

Another big week next week with the David Primrose Champion of Champions in conjunction with the Chump of Chumps. The CoC field will be competing for the trophy on the basis of their net stroke scores. The rest will be competing for their trophy on the basis of their Stableford scores. The points and handicapping for the daily event will be based on the Stableford scores. Thus, everybody keep your Stableford scores, but the CoC field have to play out as Stroke. The field will be divided according to the two event fields. After the round, there will be a lunch provided in the Clubhouse Function Room, and each member will be entitled to two beverages (ticketed) of their choice. The lunch will be followed by the Trophy Presentations. And, after that, is anybody’s guess! And own responsibility.

Results for Saturday, 13 Dec 2025
1st Ryan Porker (68, 68, 136) 2nd Matt Hunt (64, 73, 137) 2nd Chris Priems (67, 70, 137) 3rd Harry Boughen (66, 72, 138) 4th Michael Gourlay (73, 66, 139) 4th Brendon Mitchell (72, 67, 139) 5th Bob McDonald (73, 67, 140) 5th Robert Priems (66, 74, 140)

Seniors Results: 1st Matt Hunt (64,73,137) 1st Chris Priems (67,70,137) 2nd Harry Boughen (66,72,138) 3rd Michael Gourlay (73,66,139)

Nearest the Pin Results: ProPin – 4th Stephen O’Sullivan BallPin No 1 – 12th Michael Gourlay BallPin No 2 – 18th Andrew Vogan

It must be the time of year. Another bumper field of nineteen members out to play, come hell or high water. There wasn’t much of the hell, and the rain wasn’t quite enough to create any high water, so there was a chance to make a reasonable score. Some of the fairways are looking a treat, and others should pick up as the campaign of fertilising and weed-spraying gives them a much-needed boost. At least some of the largest bare patches have been marked as GUR, but, if you finish on the smaller ones, unfortunately, that is just tough. Hopefully, a little bit of TLC will help to heal the sores, and we will be able to close our eyes and imagine that we are playing Royal Melbourne rather than Royal Ivanhoe.

Despite the on again, off again presence of showers of rain, there was some pretty impressive scoring submitted to the judges today. The round of the day went to Matt, who made a bit of a ‘botch’ of the front nine, using a fair chunk of his handicap with a five over. However, he treated the back with what amounted to disdain, and made it in two under the card to lead home the pack with a net 64, two ahead of the baying hounds snapping at his shirt-tails. The three birdies that helped him to his back nine score, helped us to tally a total of ten for the day. Harry and Michael had a bit of a disagreement about the standard of H’s putting with Michael praising it to the heavens while Harry bewailed the number of near misses. However, it can’t have been too bad with a net 66 the result. Wazza was a happy chappy with a much more satisfying result than he had last week. However, he did admit thinking about ducking into the bar for shot after nine holes, for some unknown reason!. Prez (Closed-face) Priems, was an early leader in the Eclectic after he started the round with a birdie in the first. He wasn’t sure whether that was a good or a bad sign. However, you would have to say, more good than bad.

CJ reckons he put in the proverbial dead-cat bounce today after playing his ‘worst’ golf in years at the Frog yesterday (something like -9). You would have to say that there was more bounce than a ‘dead-cat’ to produce his score of 67. Ryan also bounced back after his less than stellar showing last week, and probably consolidated his spot at the top of the order of merit for some time to come after 23 weeks at the top. Marc reckons he had an entertaining and instructive day with one of the highlights being a chip-in, except that it had followed a lowlight of a lost ball.

Speaking of balls! Prez pushed his drive from the 9th out towards the 18th tee area, and Michael was a bit to the right of the path at the bottom of the hill. A player on the 18th was spotted picking up Michael’s ball, and a loud ‘Hoi’ saw him put a ball back. Rob bailed him up and asked about his ball, and, crestfallen, the offender handed over a ball, which turned out not to be said Rob’s ball. Rob played on. Michael played on. When Michael marked the ball, it was clearly marked Prez. The perp had obviously put Rob’s ball down when challenged about Michael’s, and handed another to Rob in that exchange. Michael complained bitterly about having ‘lost’ a new Titleist, that is until Harry pointed out that, in actual fact, it had been hit at least 37 times. A clear case of ‘outside influence’ so no penalty involved.

Michael was a bit cheesed to miss the green in the 15th and so blew his chances of pulling off another clean sweep of the Nearest the Pin. He needn’t have worried, because Brendon knocked him off for the ProPin on the 12th with a shot to 3.04m. The BallPin on the 15th went to the daily Champ, Matt, who knocked off JQ, while that on the 18th did actually go to Michael, who knocked off both Matt and JQ.

Raj didn’t quite fire today under the weight of his handicap cut from last week, and he was rather pleased that he still has his ‘old’ handicap for the duration of the Stroke Championship. Perhaps he celebrated a bit too much over his game last week and the birthday that he had during the week. Speaking of the Stroke Championship, Matt has taken over as the leader of the Handicap division, but there are several players within striking distance if they can put another one together next week. Michael has the lead in the Scratch division, but he, too, is a bit vulnerable if Matt can keep up the pace or Porks can get back to his best. He’ll definitely have to avoid the sort of shank shot that he pulled off on the 4th today, as well as a few others that he gave himself a good talking-to about.

Don’t forget, we have the break-up coming up on the 20th. All are welcome, and you don’t have to play on the day. However, we do need to know, sooner rather than later, so that we can firm up the catering asap. There are plenty of links to the Registration form through the Home page and the Menu system.

Results for Saturday, 06 Dec 2025
Leaderboard Round 1: 1st Matt Hunt (64) 2nd Harry Boughen (66) 2nd Warren Capes (66) 2nd Robert Priems (66) 3rd Chris Priems (67) 4th Ryan Porker (68) 5th Marc Phillips (69)

Seniors Leaderboard: 1st Matt Hunt (64) 2nd Harry Boughen (66) 2nd Robert Priems (66) 3rd Chris Priems (67)

Nearest the Pin Results: ProPin – 12th Brendon Mitchell BallPin No 1 – 15th Matt Hunt BallPin No 2 – 18th Michael Gourlay