Next Week’s Details

Those of you avid blog readers with good memories might remember the time (23 August 2025 to be precise) that Harry was away and Michael had gone on strike as Harry’s Assistant Apprentice Handicapper for some unknown reason.

Porks was forced to step up in his former role helping with scores data and the blog.

Being a bit busy with work and kids etc. Porks decided he would cheat and get the blog written with AI.

He also hadn’t bothered to take a winners photo, so asked his preferred AI program to “give me a photo of a golfer winning a trophy at Ivanhoe” or words to that effect.

Porks the new Kate Middleton

Leaving aside the photo was from that other Ivanhoe Club (in Illinois in the USA about half an hour northwest of Chicago) the photo caused a bit of mirth at the time for there being one too many arms in shot (shades of Kate Middelton and her famous Photoshop fail).

Marc the winner with 44 but crippled for Match Play

The winner that day was Marc with 44 points. Nalin was second with 39 and Kenny third with 38.

Porks duly chopped Marc’s handicap by 5 strokes and guess who Porks played in the 2025 Match Play final the following week, and beat 4 and 2.

Chuck Porks head on it

Fast forward to 11 July 2026, our winner was Porks.

On photos and scores data these days during Harry holiday times, Marc somehow forgot to take a winners photo. But obviously impressed with some of my recent photo efforts, Marc quietly suggested that I grab that old three arms Porks photo and chuck Porks head on it. Done!

And wow Marc, re-reading the blog of your 44 points that day (you can easily find every old blog on the site under the History tab) that was a heck of a round. Porks 38 to win this week was very boring by comparison.

Single-file placegetters

All single placegetters after that with Brendon 37 (quiet achiever in the Championship race who sneaks into 2nd), JQ 36 (banking 3 more handy Championship points to extend his lead to 5), Kody in his last game for the club with 35 and Peps with 34.

CJ the Senior thief again

Craig with 33 was the first of the Seniors followed by Steve with 31 and CJ capped his 3-week run of stellar Senior Championship points scoring with a Senior’s point for 25.

And the rest

The other three members who played were Raj, Marc and SoS, with Jake Priems making a field of 12.

Shot of the day

No winners photo but Marc got a great shot of the aftermath of best skinny duff of 2026, perhaps all time.

Steve G just passed trees on the left of the 4th. Gets out the wedge for a big high loft into the green, skinnies it badly, heading out of bounds over the green for sure, but hits thick grass on mound before the green and slows up a bit but is still heading way past the green when somehow it hits the pin and goes in. Very tidy birdie 2!

Honourable mention to Jake Priems for his Priemsy tee shot on the 3rd, going way right into the Yarra but you guessed it, hits a tree and ends up back in the middle of the fairway.

NTPs

Brendon with a classy lazy 6 iron on the 7th for a ball, Craig knocking off Raj with a great shot into 2.32 metres on the 18th for the other ball. However, despite some valiant attempts at the 15th (one group had all three players on the green) nobody was close to claim the money, so Jack Pot gets another win.

Ray Floyd impersonator

I am not sure how a bloke who scored 25 points claims to have putted well with his new “Ray Floyd” inspired stance.

Ray Floyd won 4 majors, including the 1976 Masters, putting with the famous – and well ahead of its time – Zebra mallet (a then revolutionary new face balanced mallet). He also won the US Open putting with it in 1986.

How many majors has CJ won? Is he going better or worse than Ray Floyd?

You can find the answer by checking the Honours Board tab on the website and going to Majors. Address is ivanhoegc.org/web/honourboard_major.html

Speaking majors, this week is the first week of the Fred Howe Winter Cup. Play well boys.

Results for Saturday, 11 Jul 2026
1st Ryan Porker (38) 2nd Brendon Mitchell (37) 3rd John Quinlan (36) 4th Kody Warrington (35) 5th Andrew Petricola (34)

Seniors Results: 1st Craig Cameron (33) 2nd Steven Gervasoni (31) 3rd Chris Priems (25)

Nearest the Pin Results: ProPin – 15th Jackpot BallPin No 1 – 7th Brendon Mitchell BallPin No 2 – 18th Craig Cameron

Dan’s good form was noted last week, running strongly down the back straight at the half way point of the Championship season.

JQ’s engine has been running strongly all year. Whatever he’s on, I want some.

I like a dabble on the old fashioned quinella (there was a time boys before 2006 when the trifecta hadn’t been invented and the quinella was a very popular bet).

On recent form, a Dan-JQ quinella was always on the cards for the July 2026 Monthly Medal.

With the course a bit wet and playing long from the back tees, it was a tough day for scoring.

TOUGH DAY FOR SCORING

SoS (3rd place with Net 75 this week) once won a Monthly Medal with a Net 74. For a while it looked like JQ’s 74 was going to win the day and then Dan sauntered in with a 72 to take first prize, despite finishing with a triple-bogey 7 on the 17th and a double-bogey 5 on the 18th.

JQ was reported to be relieved from a handicap perspective. He sneaks out from 9 to 10 for next week and now leads the Championship by 4 points.

His nearest challenger is Matty who banked a couple of points for 4th with Net 76 (which included two 8’s on the 6th and 13th) while Raj and Porks were fifth with 77. Peps just missed a point in 6th with Net 78 after what must have been a very tidy 9 on the 16th and a double bogey 6 on the 17th. Two pars there for Peps and ….. you can do the maths.

In the Seniors race, Matty chalked up his 11th win of the season to increase his lead from Harry, currently doing his thing in Dublin, and CJ, who, obviously not embarrassed for taking 2nd place Seniors points with Minus 6 last week, gathered 2nd again this week with Net 79. Bobby took third in the Seniors with Net 82!

HONOURABLE MENTIONS

Steve G (equal NAGA with Craig) gets another honourable mention this week.

Harry was summoned from his favourite Dublin pub, the Temple Bar, with a please explain from Marc doing the data input of scores. Steve had an 11 on the 6th but Harry’s system wouldn’t let Marc enter 11 and kept insisting on making it a 10.

Harry said he was a bit busy dealing with a few matters in Dublin and would have a mull about the system quirk before he gets back in the country for the next Monthly Medal.

KODY BASKETBALL SCHOLARSHIP

We have had a few blokes leave the club for various non-golfing reasons lately. Wazza did a Denis Ward and headed to live beachside (I wonder how Denis is doing up there in Tura Beach, ditto Wazza, how is Ocean Grove going) with Charlie and a few others heading overseas for work.

Kody’s excuse is a basketball scholarship in the US at Virginia State University, where he will also keep up with his engineering studies. Good luck Kody!

SoS GIVING UP A BALL

Speaking of those with sporting talents other than golf, look out for Dan’s mate Ash, a fellow medico who is rumoured to have represented Australia in badminton.

Not yet a member, but hopefully he will join at some stage if his medical postings are nearby (currently the Austin but formerly Shepparton).

Ash had a Net 69 off his GA handicap of 17, including what Dan described as a ridiculous up and down par from off the hill to the left of the 15th.

The ever gracious SoS, noting that Ash had paid up to go in the NTPs, knocked himself out of the ball run and gave up his ball to Ash.

NTP’S and RARE BIRIDIES

Matty was already spending his $13 (12 players plus guest) for the Pro-pin on the 15th with a beautiful shot to 2.94 metres, when Raj in the same group stepped up and snuck one 30cm closer.

Matt made his birdie putt and Raj missed his, a version of justice for Matt. The only other birdie of the day was Craig on the 11th.

On an otherwise dirty day, Craig followed his birdie on the 11th by pocketing a ball (or did he take the cash?) on the 12th and JQ won the ball/cash on the 18th.

COMPLIMENT CURSE STRIKES CJ

CJ got a bit his own back on the 8th and 9th, courtesy of a quiet but expertly timed curse of the compliment from Dan. CJ has been well known over the years for the curse of the compliment along the lines of “geez (insert name – I think Craig was one recent victim) you’re playing well today.”

Dan noted down the 8th fairway, when CJ hit another one straight down the middle, “CJ do you ever miss the fairway with your drives?”

Next shot from CJ was a shank heading for the Yarra but no harm done of course because it bounced off a tree back into the fairway.

But the best from Dan’s Curse was yet to come. CJs drive on the 9th went straight right into the Yarra, a lost ball and a 7 on the scorecard for CJ.

IS IT TIME FOR BODY-WORN CAMERAS

Dan who always has a smile on his face, is reported to be still chuckling about the CJ drive on the 9th. Shame there’s no video.

Ditto I’d love to have seen a video of Peps 9 on the 16th and Steve G’s 11 on the 6th. Maybe we could think about getting some police issue Body-Worn Cameras (BWCs) to spice-up the blog.

Results for Saturday, 04 Jul 2026
1st Dan Marie (72) 2nd John Quinlan (74) 3rd Stephen O’Sullivan (75) 4th Matt Hunt (76) 5th Rajesh Mahto (77) 5th Ryan Porker (77)

Seniors Results: 1st Matt Hunt (76) 2nd Chris Priems (79) 3rd Bob McDonald (82)

Nearest the Pin Results: ProPin – 15th Rajesh Mahto BallPin No 1 – 12th Craig Cameron BallPin No 2 – 18th John Quinlan

Raj managed to not sleep in this week, got himself to the course in plenty of time for some quality pre-game banter, a proper warm-up and then went out and blitzed field, easing up three lengths clear of the chasing pack on +3.

Before we get to other placings, honourable mentions to CJ on return from holidays with a Minus 6 and Steve G on Minus 8.

Both were in the Seniors Points with those scores, 2nd and 3rd respectively.

SENIORS BROWNLOW VOTES

I often say that the Seniors Championship is the hardest one to win, with only Brownlow votes of 3-2-1 each week, but if CJ (currently 3rd) manages to sneak past Harry (currently 2nd) and old man Matty (1st) to win this year’s Seniors Championship, you can mark down the day he got second-best-on-ground votes for Minus 6 as a key moment.

Speaking old man Matty, his square was enough for second place points (and first in the Seniors).

CHAMPIONSHP LEADERBOARD

Take a look at the Championship Leaderboard and you can see a very bunched field, JQ on 55, Matty 54, Brendon 53 and CJ 52. It was all I could do, as a fan of “Stan the Statistician” from the old Coodabeen Champions days, not to gift the absent Harry (or Peps) an extra 2 points to make one of them 51, not 49 in 5th.

Dan is currently 19th on the Championship table, but plenty of Melbourne Cups have been won from that position at around the half-way stage. Dan banked third place points this week with Minus 1.

Peps and Porks shared 4th with Minus 2 and Marc and JQ shared 5th with Minus 3.

MATCHPLAY ARM WRESTLE

In the big quarter final Match Play arm wrestle between Matty and JQ, you’d think with Matty’s par score being 3 better than JQ’s that Matty would have had a comfortable ride.

But she’s a funny game Match Play (just ask Matty after he 3 putted from 6 feet on the 15th) and the match went down to the proverbial wire, with Matty winning in a chip-off.

Unfortunately we missed the money shot photo of JQ’s face when his putt in the chip off just missed, but as always, good sportsmanship was displayed throughout the contest.

Having played so well recently, including a win on 13 June, JQ’s handicap has reduced in recent times, while Matty the wily old fox managed to sneak out a shot after his last round with the club. It turned out to be a handy shot!

The Match Play semi-finals will see Harry against Nalin and Matty taking on Marc.

BIRDIES AND NEAREST THE PINS

There were 11 birdies from the field of 13, including a Peps birdie in 18 for the ball there after also collecting the ball on offer at the 4th (reported to be a solid 9 iron with his new Wilson irons).

JQ took the money on the 12th with a gap wedge to 4.78 metres.

LOVE THAT 2ND TEE WHEN ITS UP THE BACK

Everybody groaned when it was discovered the 2nd tee was up the back in the Monthly Medal position, especially Matty who knew he was in trouble after the curse of a birdie at the first and promptly lost a ball with his tee shot on 2.

WHERE’S HARRY?

Despite checking a few Dublin pubs for a photo opportunity, my spies have lost track of Harry this week. He’s rumoured to have been on a small ship sailing around the Scottish isles and Irish Sea, finishing in Dublin. Next up is Glasgow, Edinburgh and a few other sights in York, Woodbridge and Leavenham.

PS. Thanks again Marc for your new role doing the score data input while Harry is away, much appreciated!

Results for Saturday, 27 Jun 2026
1st Rajesh Mahto (+3) 2nd Matt Hunt (□) 3rd Dan Marie (-1) 4th Andrew Petricola (-2) 4th Ryan Porker (-2) 5th Marc Phillips (-3) 5th John Quinlan (-3)

Seniors Results: 1st Matt Hunt (□) 2nd Chris Priems (-6) 3rd Steven Gervasoni (-8)

Nearest the Pin Results: ProPin – 12th John Quinlan BallPin No 1 – 4th Andrew Petricola BallPin No 2 – 18th Andrew Petricola

With Harry away in the UK, Marc is in charge of score data entry (thanks Marc) and I’m in charge of the blog.

But the words this week are brought to you by JQ, our new Mark Twain (or maybe more Ernest Hemmingway?) with Dan pitching in with some additional material on Umbrellagate.

Their contributions are below, copied and pasted without edits apart from adding some headings.

Thanks boys!

As you can see from the photo at the end, Harry and friends were very impressed with your efforts.

JUST A FAB 4 (PLUS A SLEEPY RAJ ELSEWHERE)

Was it the winter weather or world cup fever hitting the club? With the expectation of rain, we had a weak turn out for what turned out to be a rather dry and considerably kind weather for a mid-June round – with only 4 hardened competitors this week. And Raj, who decided to join the Burnley crew later in the morning (traitor).

SOS and Brendon were itching at the bit to get out there (more to get away from husbandly/fatherly duties), they – rightly – convinced JQ to come along for a social hit. Then in rolls Dan just as they were about to tee-off to make up an even foursome.

SKINS

With nothing to play for, SOS and JQ were keen to make it interesting. A decision was made to play skins – $1 per hole. With juicy handicaps of 17 and 14… SOS and Dan were quietly comfortable that there was an opportunity to come away with some moola with no NTP’s on offer.

There was a lot of lateral water on the first couple of holes, so everyone was comfortable with squaring the early holes. However, on the third, JQ managed to scramble to the green and sink a 6-footer par putt to take the first skin(s) of the day.

Brendon got on the board on the 4th, with a beautiful putt from off the green to drain the first birdie of the day. Dan got his first par of the day on the 5th and SOS got his first par (even after a wayward drive) on the 6th – both more than ample to get their first skins of the day. 

No one got the upper hand on the 7th and SOS looked all but home to take the double-skin on the 8th, only for Brendon to jam a monster putt through some lateral water to slam the pin and drop to halve the hole (much to Dan and JQ’s delight).

With 3 skins on offer on the 9th, all drives were safely away down the middle, however with only JQ and Dan hitting the green in reg, a true match-play putt off was on. An untimely three-putt, gifted JQ the win.

SCORES AT THE TURN

Scores at the turn (JQ – 6 skins; Dan/SOS/Brendon 1-skin) – a particularly harsh result on Brendon who was playing particularly well in the conditions.  

JQ had no right to win the 10th after sculling a chip to 5-feet and subsequently dropped the par putt and even though Brendon and SOS both parred 11, so did Dan and with the extra shot buffer he managed to secure his second skin of the day.

JQ CHUCKLING ALL THE WAY

With Brendon shanking his tee shot into the hazard and Dan smashing up to the bleaches (the old 13th tee box), SOS and JQ were really the only ones able in it on the 12th – but after missing a two foot right-to-left putt to tie the hole… JQ chuckled all the way to the 13th with another win. (JQ – 8 skins, Dan 2 skins, SOS/Brendon 1-skin).

With everyone positioned too far left forcing everyone to lay up on the 13th, SOS played a lovely chip to have a tap in par to make it incredibly hard for others, with JQ needing a 12-footer down hill left-to-right. Determined to break SOS’s heart, his putt burned the rim and failed to drop giving SOS a well-deserved skin.

After a stunning drive from the back markers on 14, Brendon was only a foot off the green and in the box seat. Dan played to centre of the green and JQ went flag hunting to wedge his second to 4 feet. Brendon 3-putted, JQ missed the birdie chance, so Dan simply snared the hole with a easy (but nervy) two-putt.

To 15 they went and with tees down the bottom and only a 108m from the pin, three hit the green, but JQ broke their hearts with a 25-foot downtown to sink a birdie. (JQ – 10 skins, Dan/SOS 2-skins, Brendon 1-skin)

THE LAST THREE HOLES

The last three holes… Brendon made light work of the 16th, playing a lovely approach in to secure his par, which was enough given the other three were scrambling from duck-hooks off the tee.

JQ birdying the 17th wasn’t enough and Dan used his extra shot to perfection making a regulation par to tie the hole… which left two remaining skins going into the 18th.

DAN’S SHOT OF THE DAY

With no one hitting the green, but JQ and Brendon putting their second shot within delicate par putting range, their hearts were broken when Dan played the shot of the day from the far right hill to chip sensationally to within a gimme – it knocked Brendon out given he didn’t get a shot, which left JQ with a final putt to take the spoils to the chipping green. His putt looked all the way home, but did a dunny roll and somehow failed to drop. A well-deserved two skins for Dan. 

FINAL RESULTS AND NEXT WEEK

Final results for skins were JQ (10), Dan (4), SOS and Brendon (2).

Whilst the skins were the major enjoyment, the group performed really well given the conditions and had there been a quorum of 6 necessary for competition, all would have been in the points we suspect. A little more effort (and heart) from the rest of the club next week, which is more than what the Aussies displayed against the septic tanks.

1st Brendon Mitchell (34) John Quinlan (34)

2nd Stephen O’Sullivan (31) Dan Marie (31)

UMBRELLAGATE

Dan added “On the 16^th tee box – the wind picked up causing mine and JQs bag to collide, knocking them over and breaking my umbrella. This now means that I’ve lost more umbrellas at Ivanhoe than I have won monthly medals. Pretty good feat if I do say so.”