Monthly Archives: April 2014

It seems as if there is a curse on the Orange Ball Team event or maybe the pressure is too much for some people.  Once again the majority of groups did not finish with their ball, some opting out as early as the eighth and one group nearly losing it at the fourth.  Fortunately, it avoided the long stuff in the (dry) billabong and could be played and carried on for a few more holes before straying into the creeper jungle along-side the 9th.  The eventual team winners were Damo, Mostyn, Keith and Zimmer with a score of -1 though it was a bit hard to work out who had played the ball on which hole and the stewards were hard pressed to find evidence that the ball that they returned had actually been hit.  Somebody suggested that maybe they didn’t take their club covers off when they were using the coloured ball.  MalA needed to play a provisional ball a couple of times and just to keep everyone in the group on their toes he teed up with (you guessed it) a yellow ball!

Perhaps it wasn’t entirely surprising then that the main competition winner was none other than Damo who, despite whingeing about getting cut a couple of weeks back managed to break that handicap to be able to have a whinge about being cut again.  Still, even though the greens were still a bit on the sandy side and remarkably fast (just ask Craig – no don’t do that unless you’ve got plenty of time to spare), +2 was enough to win and not hurt the handicap too much.  Damo is also putting in a burst to scale the Championship ladder but he reckons he will just get himself to the top or there-abouts when the cricket coaching duties come about again.

Second cab off the rank was Blighty who prefixed his round with an exposition on how long it was since he had played, hadn’t held a club etc etc and then proceeded to cream it down the first and demoralised Noodles in their Matchplay match to be three up after three holes.  Noodles managed to hold him for the remaining six holes on the front but he failed to convert some chances early in the back and eventually went down 5 and 4 on the 14th.  Blighty’s +1 overall held the Clubhouse leadership for quite a time but brought him both Championship and Senior Championship Points without too much harm to his handicap.

Ryan played his first round in competition today and just as ChrisV did last week he wasn’t slow to open his points tally with a square card and third place.  He certainly makes good contact with the ball and if he can stay on the straight and narrow he could be one to watch as the year progresses.  And all of this while playing with Ed.  One point further back was Mehmet who put together a steady enough round but might have been distracted by his concern for how Noodles was going in his match.  It doesn’t bear repeating how Mehm suggested the match result should be reported when he heard the final outcome.

Ed, Kazim, Brendon and Oliver all earned themselves a point by coming in fifth place with -2.  Who’d have thought a couple of stragglers on -4 would have been just outside the points.  So, was the course that hard today or was it the succession of days off work that resulted in a fair number of cards pushing out towards, and in some cases reaching, negative double figures.

Presumably in line with the relatively uninspiring scoring there was something of a dearth of birdies today with a total of 7 all up.  A couple of people made it onto the 4th for the Ball Nearest the Pin and Moist’n’Wet picked up the pill after quite a time out to pasture.  Seems he’s only just managed to negotiate himself a leave pass for Saturday mornings.  The ProPin on the 15th went begging  and so there will be a nice little Jackpot in the kitty for next week.  That should bring some of the denizens out of their caves.  Pity there isn’t a qualification like there is for the Medal.

There was another matchplay match today and it was a case of youth outdoing experience with Zimmer coming home victorious 5 and 3 over Keith.  With the next three weeks taken up with Medal and Autumn Cup, those left in the event after today’s deadline will have to get their ducks lined up quick smart after that.

One of the Clubs former members, Tony Balcombe, came along today to try out his hand on the old stomping grounds and to catch up and talk about old times.  I don’t think Tony had the best of it as he was heard to comment that it made him realise why he doesn’t play so much any more.  But then again, the rest of us didn’t set the world on fire either.

When MalA sprayed one into the hazard on the 12th he asked the (rhetorical) question ‘What am I doing wrong?’ Reply 1: ‘Where do we start?’ Reply 2: ‘We can’t hold the game up that long!’  Talk about using the knife and then twisting it!

Somehow, Craig’s inside and outside cards got into the Club mix and when he was handed his inside card, Craig marched off to hand it in at the office.  Obviously spent some time riffling through the comp box looking for the other one before coming back looking more bewildered than usual wondering where it was.  Somebody else who might be looking bewildered in the future is Constable SOS who is apparently going to become a father.  Must be something out there on the course with all this fertility going around.  Grandpop Gordo was busily flashing pics of the new-born around as well.

Whilst on the subject of births, the Birthday Birdie has whispered that Ryan and Whitey will be celebrating an anniversary of just such an event in the next week.

Don’t forget to mark it on your calendar and get those leave passes signed off with the Autumn Cup coming up in the two weeks following the May Medal next week.  The holiday weekends are done and dusted for the time being so there should be no excuses.

It almost seems that the only passion of relevance to the bulk of our members is their passion for golf.  Despite the allure of extended breaks due to the virtual coincidence of Easter and Anzac Day we ended up with a fair average attendance.  A bit of a downpour on the road to the course did little to dampen the enthusiasm and a few threatening clouds during the round did not add to any discomfort that anybody might have been feeling.  A couple of umbrellas were unfurled but this was more than sufficient to deter the rain gods though the sand from the freshly sanded greens was noticeably stickier with a few extra drops of water about.  Despite the coring and sanding, the greens were remarkably fast and more than one putt ended up well past until over-compensation started to leave them short.  At one stage, Harry was heard to lament that he couldn’t sink a South Korean ferry.

Despite all this the scoring was obviously a bit easier than it was last week when a square card was all that was required to take the prize and the DSR for the course came in at 68.  The scores didn’t break any records but there were three people who came home feeling pretty pleased with themselves.  Given that Gordo and Targe have featured in the gallery fairly recently it seemed only fair that the other member to come in with 38 points to share the glory should get a guernsey.

New kid on the block, ChrisV certainly didn’t waste any time opening his account in the Points Table with a very handy second placing and with a score that did nothing to harm and a little to enhance his brand new handicap.  A very creditable 35 points.

Despite being seen crashing about in the garden bed by the 9th tee and carrying an elephant gun at the ready,  Zimmer held it together to stitch up a pair of 17’s for a total pointage of 34 and third place on his Pat Malone.  Ken managed to tear himself away from his other club to join us and showed that he hasn’t forgotten how to play at Old Ivanhoe to get his mitts on fourth spot.  He also got his mitts on a few other things as well.  A ball for Nearest the Pin on the 12th and the money for the ProPin on the 18th.  We might have to take a swab if he keeps this up.

To round out the point scorers there was a nice little group of four players sneaking in with just 32 points in the persons of Harry, Mehm, Pepsi, and Damo.  Damo was desperate for a birdie and went for the green on the 14th and went close to knocking somebody off the 15th tee.  Whilst on the topic of birdies, we racked up a pretty respectable total of 16 which works out at one apiece.  Wonder who got mine?

Although Whitey did share the top ranking, there is a feeling about that he could have done better.  First off, he used his putter for his second shot on the 6th and still managed to advance the ball by about 100m.  Second off, he managed the dreaded air-shot on the 9th though the ball did move by a millimetre or so, so great was the club head speed.  Never one to hold back our Whitey.

Another one who did alright despite some tough breaks was Ken who was faced with this shot and he didn’t bring his chain-saw.  It seems that he was in a similar predicament on the next hole as well.  Damo also put himself in odd spots.  Two new ProV1s into the billabong on the 3rd had him negotiating discount prices on boxes of balls and when another disappeared into the pond on the 17th, he went bush bashing for what was thought to be his.  When he saw that it wasn’t his beloved ProV1 he backed out and left it where it lay.

Pepsi hasn’t played much since he has been ensconced in Sydney but he showed that he is as accurate as ever by rolling one across the green from the tee on the 14th.

On the 8th, Ed’s cart looked as if it had been abandoned over by the billabong fence when the group all appeared to have progressed to the next tee.  Though the mean machine has been known to break down before, it seems that Ed was just admiring the progress of the conservation works around the billabong.

Gordon is a proud new grandfather with a new male heir, Joshua, being safely delivered during the week.

Bob brought his own caddie this week in the person of son Mick for some of that old-fashioned father-son bonding.  Watch out for Mehm next week, he was noticed nursing a suspiciously new shoe box after the round so it will be interesting to see what his taste in golf shoes runs to.

Don’t forget we need to get on with the Matchplay rounds.  With the smaller numbers involved, it should be easier to get them organised and completed and to catch up with the schedule.  Next week is also a Orange Ball team event.

Results for Saturday, 19 April 2014
1st Gordon Hill(38) 1st Targe Mifsud(38) 1st Rodney White(38) 2nd Chris Vinecombe(35) 3rd Kazim Akdag(34) 4th Ken Grist(33) 5th Mehmet Akdag(32) 5th Harry Boughen(32) 5th Damien Lee(32) 5th Andrew Petricola(32)

Praise the Lord and pass the ammunition – the rains have come at last.  It has taken a while but one of the much anticipated rain events has at last delivered and you had to hit the greens to have a chance.  A bit more grass and the soft ground meant that the old ‘bump and run’ had a fair chance of pulling up short of the mark.  And it wasn’t impossible for the ball to plug in the softer spots.  The freshly cored greens added a little something extra when combined with the dew that hung around for most of the morning.  More than a few putts were left just that little bit short of the mark.  This reflected in the rather paltry birdie count of three from the lot of us though ChrisV did add an extra one on the 17th after a cunning second shot through the leaves of the big tree to take a bit of loft and pace off the ball and to add a bit of spin to pull it up on the green just half a metre away from the pin.

The softer track and the lack of run showed up in the scoring as well and a couple of squares breasted the tape to share the spoils.  The scores – not the blokes.  Damo didn’t sound all that confident that they would hold on when the cards were handed in and his face fell when Targe announced that he had come in 1 up.  Targe was announcing that he had come in 1 up in his matchplay against Whitey.  The match ended up a fairly close run thing after Targe had put in an early burst to be 3 up after three.  Speaking of matchplay, we should now be well into the second round so time to get the finger out and get those matches arranged.

As it turned out, Targe and Whitey filled second place in the event today with -1 and in the process Targe also collected the top points in the Seniors.  And, speaking of Seniors, Bob and Trevor joined forces with SOS to take third place on -2.  As a result of some serious discussion about their cards and totals, SOS was inspired to offer them the use of an abacus to help sort it out.

The announced placings for 4th and 5th needed a little re-arrangement.  In the first instance, there was a slight error in allocation of points on Gordo’s card which moved him to -4.  In the second instance, Ed’s inside card was inadvertently put in the stack with a one point difference.  The upshot was that Gordo stayed on 4th, Blighty moved up to join Gordo and Ed stayed on 5th.

No names, no packdrill for the four hapless souls who didn’t get points.  Whitey managed to get closest on the 15th for the nearest the Pin for a Ball but the 12th remained unscathed for the ProPin and so there will be yet another Jackpot that should help to get people out of bed early enough to get to the course on time.  When the first group was announced to the tee this morning it looked as if we would have one or two groups at the most so either people slept in or they didn’t read the blog to see the earlier start time as a result of the end of daylight saving.  Damo was proposing that there should be a ‘late fee’ for those paying their competition fee after the event.

ChrisV and Ryan put in their final qualifying card today and they now have an official Club handicap.  We look forward to see how well they really can play over the coming weeks.

Not only did Gordon get his face plastered all over the web-site last week, he has now branched out into other matters relating to things burning and getting hot.  A casual stroll through Bunnings turned up pallets of the darn things.

Not sure whether it was down to the new arrival in the house or because he was worrying about his Eclectic score, but Mehm didn’t have a very good day at the office.  So much so that, with the early clubhouse placings still having him in the points, he said if he was still there at the end of the day, he didn’t want them.  Happy with the Eclectic now Mehm?

Keith must have won Lotto or inherited some money as he was resplendent today in some brand new shoes.  It looked like he was planning to dazzle the opposition with the vivid white uppers and fluorescent green soles.  Ed reckons he had a quiet day today but that would have to be heard to be believed.

The Birthday Birdie almost forgot to mention that Constable SOS will be celebrating this week.  Maybe he will go easy on the ne’er-do-wells on the day.

Results for Saturday, 12 April 2014
1st Damien Lee(□) 1st Chris Priems(□) 2nd Targe Mifsud(-1) 2nd Rodney White(-1) 3rd Trevor Jackson(-2) 3rd Bob McDonald(-2) 3rd Stephen O’Sullivan(-2) 4th Andrew Blight(-4) 4th Gordon Hill(-4) 5th Ed Kloprogge(-5)

The weather gods smiled down upon us again this week and the much predicted rain events passed us by and the course continues to play with a fair amount of run for the ball with the optimum landing angle.  Almost enough to get some of the longer hitters amongst us into trouble by running out of fairway.  Despite the ideal conditions, numbers turning out were only average with fourteen members and two guests chancing their arm for the medal and the ProPin jackpot.

Gordo obviously took some notice of Oliver’s scorched earth policy last week and gave the front nine a fair old blitzing with three over par and the equivalent of 23 Stableford points.  He put a bit of pressure on himself in the back nine by convincing himself that Harry was pushing him for the prize and eased in with a 39 which was just enough the gazump a few other contenders with a net 65.

One of the gazumpees was Mehm who loudly bemoaned his fate to be bridesmaid again.  He was joined on the 66 mark by Brendon and MalA who both had their chances if it hadn’t been for a quadruple each.  Mal helped his Eclectic score along with a couple of birdies that came from chips-in.  Speaking of birdies, we managed 14 today which isn’t too bad from a relatively small field and doesn’t include a couple from ChrisV and Ryan who got to know a few more members today and put in a couple of pretty respectable second cards.  One more to go chaps and you can start to play properly – just kidding.  Though there was a rumour that Ryan was advised by members of his group that he should take it easy after his couple of birdies on the back nine.

Although Gordo always had the upper hand, Harry did put in a better round this week to be two strokes off the pace right alongside Targe who submitted an identical card with 85 off the stick for a net 67.  Not too much harm to the handicap from those scores.

Noodles had a pretty good front nine with 38 off the beater but he seems to have lost concentration on the back nine again this week.  Maybe the texts started coming in again?  Apparently one bad shot that Noodles had was down to a butterfly settling on his ball just as he was about to take a stroke.  Being the good Buddhist that he is, Noodles made every effort to spare the butterfly’s soul and made a mess of his shot as a result.  Or maybe his mobile vibrated in his pocket.

Last but not least amongst the point scorers today was none other than MalF.  This old horse has been off his oats a bit of late but this just might be the start of a hint of the sparkle coming back into his eye and a purple patch just around the corner.

The ProPin jackpot from last week that signally failed to attract a bigger field was on the 18th and with the pin up the back there weren’t a lot of contenders.  Gordon hit a beauty but had convinced himself that it had rolled back down the swale to the lower deck but, lo and behold, there it was nicely perched close enough the take the money from 3.59m.  The Nearest the Pin for a ball on the 4th was awarded to Noodles though the Stewards were tempted to call for a swab due to lack of evidence.  His playing partners did eventually own up that it was a legitimate claim.

The Bonus Trophy event that was run in conjunction with today’s Medal was won by none other that Yours Truly.  No not me – Gordo.  That’s just the way he announced it – with a big smile on his face.

Chris V had a smidgen or two of the lucks today.  On one shot that was going to be well across the green, the ball hit the Beast’s ball dead centre and propelled it about 4 metres while stopping dead itself.  Talk about rub of the green.  Whitey on the other hand knew he was going to be in for a hard day’s night when he lost his ball with the first shot of the day.

Ed continues to pull out miracle shots, this one from amongst the trees on the fifth to about 150mm from the pin.  And he reckons he meant it.  Bob’s comeback continues and he went the full distance today.  It was a bit of a tough day at the office but he is probably saving himself for something big down the track.  Watch out in a week or two.  Whilst on the subject of injuries, RodG will be out for a week or two with a bad case of Golfer’s Elbow and Bill will be putting his knee in the hands of the surgeons late in the week but Bill is confident of being back in a few weeks better than ever.  Get back soon, both of you – and Trevor where ever you are.

Good to see people making use of the on-line registration page though Targe seems to be having a bit of a problem with the technology.  Either that or he can’t make up his mind whether to play or not.  Or maybe he’s just got that footballers disease – yeah no.

According to Birthday Birdie, there will be a bit of a rush on candle sales this week with Mehmet and RodG saving up their puff to blow them all out.  Maybe Gordo should get a fire watch put on their houses in case of accident.  Rumour has it that there is another birthday imminent in the Mehmet household.  Hope everything goes well.

Results for Saturday, 05 April 2014
1st Gordon Hill(65) 2nd Malcolm Adey(66) 2nd Mehmet Akdag(66) 2nd Brendon Mitchell(66) 3rd Harry Boughen(67) 3rd Targe Mifsud(67) 4th Stephen Butterfield(70) 5th Malcolm Fleming(72)