Yearly Archives: 2015

Winter is here to stay and 16 fearless competitors tested their nerve against Mr Freeze himself (not the Schwarzenegger kind). This week was the return of the yellow ball (or orange ball if you ask Chrispy) and everyone was keen as mustard to get their chance to get a +1 for their team.

It was fairly low scoring from the field with only 1 person playing to their handicap, with Gordon putting in a consistent effort to end up square and to take home the 8 points. What makes this feat even more extraordinary is that he was scoring partners with Eddie!

In equal 2nd place on -1 was some of our newer members in Mark Berthelsen and Taner Kemal. Still plenty of time in the year to catch up to the leaders from here lads after some promising scoring.

Equal 3rd on -2 was Noodles, Craig Cameron, SOS and Ryan. Noodles has put in a solid few weeks with 3x 3rd placing’s and a win in the last month. It must be all that swiping on his phone (left for no, right for yes??) which is well transferring into his swing rhythm. SOS was pre-occupied from the 13th hole onwards and was seen picking flowers rather than worrying about where his ball ended up. Ryan found himself right behind the tree on the 17th, and after calling out that he would hit it through the fork in the tree, it slotted through the gap and ended up a few feet from the hole for an easy birdie.

Speaking of birdies there were only 8 scored today which coincides with the tough conditions and consequent low scoring. Ed ended up on -3 and 4th place overall.

There were 9 point scorers in total and it could have been more if it wasn’t for Bob’s -4, as there were a few unlucky souls on -5 who just missed out on championship points.

There were only two teams who finished the round with the yellow ball intact. Winners on the day were Gordon, Ed, Craig C and Taner who ended up on +4. Bonus points have been awarded although there was talk about the fairness of the bonus point system which I’m sure will be put to bed in the near future.

IGL results for the weekend are as follows, with the Hawks, Tigers and Magpies all having wins.

Results for Saturday, 13 June 2015
1st Gordon Hill(□) 2nd Mark Berthelsen(-1) 2nd Taner Kemal(-1) 3rd Stephen Butterfield(-2) 3rd Craig Cameron(-2) 3rd Ryan Porker(-2)3rd Stephen O’Sullivan(-2) 4th Ed Kloprogge(-3) 5th Bob McDonald(-4) 

Today was a happy day for twenty one of our members but it was just touched with a bit of sadness for the passing of Fred Howe, a founding member of the Club, a mentor to many and beloved Dad to Chris and Robert.  Black arm-bands showed as a mark of respect but, by and large, it was more a day to celebrate a life well lived and quite a bit of that on the green green grass of Ivanhoe.  And, despite his failing memories, Fred never forgot his beloved Club and right to the end was keeping tabs on who was winning despite the fact that there were many he did not know but the many knew of him by tall tales and true and the trophy that bears his name.

After last month’s effort in which he blitzed the course but missed out on the silver-ware, Dennis at last joined the ranks of the first time medallists with a 65 nett from a 90 off the stick.  He is obviously getting his swing back into the groove and has jumped up the Championship table with two wins to his credit in a very short time.  In fact, there is only one other person in the Club with more than two wins in their tally and that is our current table leader, Stefan.  Dennis also took out the Senior points today ahead of Taner and Laurie.  There is actually a bit of a sting in the tail of this story when Dennis, being a bit uncertain about the fate of his first ball off the tee, played a provisional which definitely went OOB.  The second provisional was OK so he was staring a potential 5 off the tee in the face.  As it turned out, the first ball was found and OK, so a minimum of four shots was wiped from the potential total.  Dennis was obviously meant to win today.

The man who was relegated to second place by dint of this latter good fortune was Damo who came in a single stroke behind.  Damo was a bit unlucky not to tie it when his tee shot on the 17th rolled up to and across the hole to miss the HIO by a hairs breadth and left the easiest of putts for the eagle to clean up on the Eagles nest which was just getting to have enough in it to be worth winning.  The unfortunate thing for Damo was that he had already eagled that hole so it didn’t improve his eclectic.  While on the subject of the Eclectic, Pepsi has a comfortable break on the field at the moment of just over two strokes and he still has a couple of holes without birdies.  The beast reckons he will catch him by the end of the year by getting his handicap out far enough though the maths would be somewhat against that theory without at least some movement in filling the gaps in the birdie file.

Just one stroke further back on 67 were Chrispy and Noodles.  Chrispy played to a cunning game-plan today by keeping quiet about how he was going and letting his playing partners psyche each other out while competing for honours and, but for a couple of double bogies, he could easily have trumped the lot.  Noodles had a fair bit to say about the cut to his handicap after last week’s win before the round but it obviously wasn’t enough as he still managed to play under it.  His hard luck story also involved the 17th where he missed chipping in for an eagle as well and had the shortest of putts for his birdie.  The problem was that it was somewhat overshadowed by Damo’s efforts and the effort was largely ignored by the group.  However it was one of fourteen birdies carded today so that, plus the eagle, was the best showing that we have had for a little while.  Perhaps we are getting used to the soft conditions and the greens are settling down after their recent scarification and sanding.

CraigC seems to be pretty comfortable with his handicap and played exactly to it to come in and share 4th place with that other Craig, also known as Snags.  At one stage, late in the game, Snags was threatening to throw his putter into one of the hazards or even the river after a couple of less than stellar performances with the flat blade.  There was certainly a good chance that it wasn’t going to take the ride back to Dandenong.  But, having promised Harry that he was saving his best shot for the 18th and the money hole, he proceeded to do just that to put it within a couple of metres to collect the ProPin and the flat blade came good to slot the birdie.  At last reports the putter was safely on its way back to Dandenong.

The last player in the points today was SOS just another stroke back scoring his favourite number – 69.  Most of the rest of the field were within another five strokes back and, as for the rest, the less said the better.  Though the Beast is beginning to be convinced that there is a hex on him when he plays with Harry.  And, speaking of Harry, he managed to get his name on the marker for the Nearest the Pin for a ball on the 4th for the second week in a row.

In the IGL, the results today were quite close in two of the matches.  The Blues (Laurie and Chris – 139) defeated the Hawks (Pepsi and Taner – 141) and the Bulldogs (Damo and Snags 134) defeated the Saints (Noodles and SOS 136).   The Tigers (CraigC and Dennis 133) were way too good for the Magpies (Targe and Mal 147) which propels the Tigers to the top of the table and leaves the Magpies languishing on the bottom with the season getting close to the half way point.  Questions were asked about the possibility of a trading session but at the moment there is no provision for this sort of activity but if a sensible scheme could be worked out it could be considered in the future.

After Gordo’s day out on the course, he was obviously in need of some consolation and that might go some way to explaining why he was gazing so soulfully at the head on his glass of beer after the round.  Or was he just trying to decide whether he had been robbed by dint of an excessively large one.  Trevor put in an appearance today but was wondering whether he should even have gotten out of bed.  As it turned out he really wasn’t all that well and had to retire part way through.  Early reports are that he is OK and we hope to see his smiling face back on deck soon.

Mehmet and Stef were back in the Club-house well and truly and were still in deep discussion about their scores up to several holes back leading some to wonder whether they were just making them up as they went along.  If they were, then they didn’t do a very good job of it.  One player who did a good job of it on one hole was Taner on the 4th where, after a less than stellar second shot, he ended in the rough west of the green and almost out of bounds.  His shot out skipped and skittered through the intervening grass, struggled onto the green and just kept running to fall into the hole for what was considered to be the unlikeliest of birdies.  Go figure.

Next week is a Yellow Ball Teams day, just to liven up the interest for the scheduled Par Competition.  Then, there is a full month of regular golf in the lead up to the Fred Howe Cup.  By that time, the Matchplay should be all but finalised and we can all settle down for the race to the end of the year and try to catch Stefan.

This is NOT an advertisement.  Strapped for cash?  See Lalor Finance for Home Loans, Investment Loans and Commercial Loans.  Competitive rates for mates.  Ring Stef.

Results for Saturday, 06 June 2015
1st Dennis Ward(65) 2nd Damien Lee(66) 3rd Stephen Butterfield(67) 3rd Chris Priems(67) 4th Craig Cameron(68) 4th Craig Sharp(68) 5th Stephen O’Sullivan(69)

Twenty-three brave souls went over the top and twenty-three souls came back though there were some who were wishing that maybe they hadn’t gone over the top.  But, despite the downcast faces on some, there were those who were smiling and those who could quite easily have done a bit better.  The air temperature started off a bit on the fresh side and the BOM had promised something of an icy blast but thankfully that seemed to have held off though the wind did start to get a bit flukey towards the end of the round.

Now, would you believe that Noodles was one of the ones that could/should have done better than he did?  Well, it seems that he did have a great chance, having taken a two stroke penalty for teeing outside the markers on the 7th and he still managed to gather a point on the hole.  He also managed three birdies and as there were only nine scored for the day he obviously made a fair fist of the rest of the round to rack up a grand total of 40 points.  Down, down, the handicaps are down!

Now that Ryan has finished with handicapping duties, for a little while at least, he is able to concentrate on his golf and did just that to great effect today.  Hopefully it didn’t have anything to do with the fact that he was playing with and marking the card of Noodles but, in any case, 37 points was enough to get the points on offer for second place.  Just as an aside, Ryan made 22 points on the front and Noodles made 22 points on the back.

And, just to show that the young ones don’t have it all to themselves, Laurie and Harry played right to their handicap to come in third place with the regulation 36 points.  Harry blotted his copy-book on the 17th when his tee shot finished perilously close to the fence along the path by the river.  So much so that he had to play a ‘horizontal’ swing under the bottom bar to pop the shot back onto the fairway.  Despite that ‘good’ result he managed to end up with a gash after some very ordinary chipping and putting.

Pepsi put in a steady round with a couple of blemishes to card a still pretty handy 35 points and the man who will just not lie down (or go away) Stefan came in next on 34.  And, claims that he can’t play to his new handicap.  Sausage!

So, although the margin has narrowed slightly, Stefan still has a comfortable lead in the Championship table but he can be caught.  After Laurie and Harry, point getters in the Seniors today were Bob and Blighty but Gordon is still a bit in front in this competition.  Pepsi is leading in the Eclectic by a couple of strokes at this stage.  Looking at the colouration of the Eclectic table, it is obvious that the 17th is the most birdie-able hole followed not too far behind by the 14th.  With the recent dearth of birdies, the eagles nest is looking pretty secure and the nest egg is growing.  Almost worth winning these days.

There was one Matchplay quarter-final played today, the last of that round and Zimmer was able to dispose of Whitey without too much difficulty 3 and 2.  Zimmer took an early lead and, try as he might, Rod was never really able to put enough together to peg him back.  So, now it is down to four and just three of them will accumulate some points for their trouble.  Keep listening for more details of the forthcoming ‘Rumble in the Jungle’.

The nearest the Pin for a ball on the 4th seems to have been a no-contest as the first person to tee off on the hole put it to 1.6m just a bit past pin high and there it stayed for the rest of the day. So, one more ball to Harry’s collection.  The ProPin on the 15th was a bit more of a contest with a couple of names on the card but Eddie was victorious once again and collected the cash.  Not sure what it is, but Ed’s name seems to feature on the ProPin record an awful lot.  Maybe it is the smell of money that fires him up.

Now, for those of you who have been asleep for the last eight (and more) weeks, a trial of a competition known as the Ivanhoe Golf League has been running.  The rules, fixture, teams and results are posted on the web-site under the Competitions menu item.  Just this once, today’s results and the League Ladder are reproduced below.  Obviously, the more team members you have along, the more chance you have of getting the scores that count though that didn’t help the Magpies today as they had a full list and still went down to the Saints

Ivanhoe Golf League Weekly Results  As at Saturday, 30th May 2015

Ivanhoe Golf League Ladder  As at Saturday, 30th May 2015

There were some contrasting results off the tee today.  On the 13th, Stefan managed to drive his ball the full length of the fairway, going on 350m, the only minor problem being that it finished on the 10th.  But then Stef had the hide to suggest that he really should have had the courage to go over the hazard on the left to try for the green.  In contrast, there were two draughties today.  Taner had a few attempts as the day went on but he finally succeeded on the 17th while Blighty only had to wait until the 16th to achieve his landmark..  The effort obviously made Andrew hungry as he was tucking fiercely into a pie and sauce after the game with somebody’s lap-dog watching in anticipation of a drop of gravy or a few crumbs – all to no avail as it disappeared down the cake-hole.

Taner was minding his own business on the 17th watching the Beast play a shot when the ball was shanked something fierce and it whizzed past his head, not in any real way of a threat but close enough.  The errant ball then hit a tree and flew back, just missing Taner again on the rebound and came to rest almost a the feet of the Beast.  Now Bill did say that he was channeling Bubba Watson for some of his shots today but it seems highly unlikely that Bubba has ever played any remotely like some that came off Bill’s club.  Needless to say, the Beast did not feature high in the rankings today.

After having his recent form talked up in recent weeks, Mal seems to have gotten out of the wrong side of the bed this morning and even went so far as to tell Gill that he didn’t think he was going to do too well today.  Talk about a good way to put the mockers on yourself.

Not sure whether Bob is supporting the Maglia Rosa in the Giro d’Italia or Breast Cancer Awareness Week, but he was seen sporting a very fetching pink mobile with an equally fetching pink and white flowered cover.  When asked to pose for a photo for the blog, the response could not be repeated in polite society.

Results for Saturday, 30 May 2015
1st Stephen Butterfield(40) 2nd Ryan Porker(37) 3rd Harry Boughen(36) 3rd Laurie Mannix(36) 4th Andrew Petricola(35) 5th Stefan Belevski(34)

Well, it seems that either people’s memories are short or they can’t count.  And it’s not the scores that are in question but the number of weeks in a row that the competition has been Par.  Estimates seemed to range from five to as high as seven (or maybe more).  But, hey, it’s not unusual to have multiples of the same competition in association with Majors and nobody seems to complain if it is three Stableford in a row.  However some people seem to revel in Par  Competition, just look at Stefan over the previous two weeks, particularly the first round of the David Ford.  If he can do it anyone can, well almost anyone!  Still, he managed to line up and collect another point today though everybody was expecting him to be out of contention for a while as had been reported last week.  The big day has been put off and in the meantime he wants to accumulate as many points as possible.  He can be caught though!

However, today’s stars of the course lined up like triplets with big smiles all round and big points onto the tally in the Championship Table.  Brendon’s attendance has been a bit erratic of late but he has still managed to rack up a reasonable total and CraigC has also been quietly putting them together and scored his second win for the season.  The good looking Priems boy, Robert, however got his points off to a flying start gathering the big eight for his first bite of the cherry.  No use messing around with small change, hey Robert?  All in all, +2 was pretty good scoring on a day that didn’t have much to offer on a course that was a bit wet in places after the recent rains and might even have been wet enough to warrant preferred lie on at least some of the fairways if not through the green.

A man who has been there or there-abouts in recent times is none other than Mal, who, after performing well in the David Ford, backed up again today to collect another lot of points in second place, all on his Pat Malone, with a very steady +1.  Mal has yet to get a top spot this year but if he can keep up his steady performance it won’t be too long before he lands the big one.

Noodles and ChrisV managed to play to their handicap for square cards in 3rd place.  Chris is freshly back from his honeymoon and has a certain spring in his step and a look in his eye but whether that is because of his keenness to get back into golf or for some other reason is a bit uncertain.  Noodles always has a keen look in his eye but sometimes it wanders from the task in hand or maybe that should be to the phone in hand.

JohnQ continues on his comeback to the club and managed to be the only one to report in with a score of -1 for the 4th place spot.  Fifth was very popular though and Mehmet, Stefan, Allan and SOS had to squeeze together onto the podium step to acknowledge the accolades.  At least nobody fell off, unlike at the soccer the other night.

The Nearest the Pin for a ball was on the 15th and for a while the green seemed intent on avoiding having a ball finish on it.  However, Ryan eventually managed to put one pretty close and collected a ball for his trouble as well as a birdie for the card.  This was one of only nine reported for the day which perhaps gives some idea of how the course was playing from a total of 21 starters.  There were only 20 finishers as Eddie withdrew after nine holes with a bad case of ‘pigeon fanciers back’ after a heavy night of erecting cages.  In the process, he also seems to have walked off with the tape measure for the ProPin which was on the 12th hole.  Allan, who was in the first group, fairly optimistically put his name on it at 8m but once again Ryan was the man to beat and he collected the money as well.  So, a couple of highlights for the Assistant Handicapper in a day that he might otherwise prefer to forget.

The field in the Ivanhoe Golf League is starting to spread out a bit with Brendon and CraigC (+4) scoring for the Tigers over Noodles and SOS (-2) for the Saints.  ChrisV and Robert (+2) led the Blues to victory over Ryan and Mal (-6) for the Magpies.  Then, there was a first for the season, with a draw between the Bulldogs (Mehm and Allan -4) and the Hawks (Gordon and JohnQ -4).

Targe has a birthday coming up this week and the Birthday Birdie wishes him a happy day, which might be a bit of a contrast to today, though Targe did opine that he was out as much for the exercise as he was for the golf.  He also advised that he is about to retire – from work, not golf – and that things would be a bit different for him from then on though he didn’t elaborate on how this would be so.

Mehm was spotted with his ball placed nicely behind a tree by the 10th green and he asked for a report on the crap golf that he was playing.  The result of the shot that he played was probably as good as you could ask for given the lie and location and the golf can’t have been too crap given that he ended in the points.  Mal was also complaining about not having done too well and wishing for one last decent shot on the 18th at which he proceeded to chip the ball into the hole out of the rough to square the hole which was certainly a bonus as far as the points went.

Allan didn’t start the day too well having had a fairly spectacular draughtie on the first hole.  It didn’t seem to faze him though as he cheerfully shouted the remainder of the group a coffee after the round and recovered enough aplomb to also get into the points tally.  He also reckons that his optimistically claimed shot on the 12th was his best shot of the day.

ChrisP was well down the field, though not quite last, as he reckoned he would be when he handed in his card.  He was playing under some difficulty though as he suffered a significant eye injury at work during the week and some resultant time off.  He described the feeling for some time afterwards as if somebody was gouging his eye with a shard of broken glass.  Not sure how he knows what that feels like unless it is a relic of bar-room brawls past.

Gordon started off like the champion that he is but it seems that he needed a packet of Strepsils or Butter Menthols on the back nine to try to relieve that choking feeling.  Brendon obviously wasn’t hampered by having to tow his buggy as his fancy machine is off the course.  Not due to any misadventure with errant golf balls but merely due to a simple mechanical failure that seems to be a common feature of these infernal machines.

Rest assured that there are no Par competitions at least for a couple of weeks but the next one will be a Yellow Ball Teams and SOS has a goodly supply of said yellow balls in anticipation.  Questions were asked about the Three Club Challenge and a quick check of the Calendar shows that that does not come around until August so plenty of time to decide on which three clubs you will choose to be challenged with.

Results for Saturday, 23 May 2015
1st Craig Cameron(+2) 1st Brendon Mitchell(+2) 1st Robert Priems(+2) 2nd Malcolm Fleming(+1) 3rd Stephen Butterfield(□) 3rd Chris Vinecombe(□) 4th John Quinlan(-1) 5th Mehmet Akdag(-2) 5th Stefan Belevski(-2) 5th Allan Davies(-2) 5th Stephen O’Sullivan(-2)