Monthly Archives: June 2015

Fifteen players, five birdies – even the ones who were here don’t seem to been much on the ball.  Also, the ProPin on the 15th went begging but then again Ed wasn’t here.  So with low numbers and a dearth of birdies how did the scoring go on a course that was a bit damp in places but the preferred lies gave you a chance to clean the gobs of mud off the ball and maybe get it to perch up just a little on a nearby knob of turf – no further than a hand-span of course.

As you can see from the score-line, it wasn’t a day to really blow the lights out but still not bad and there wasn’t a great deal to separate the top place-getters.  King of the road today was Blighty who played under his handicap on both nines to be four under his handicap at the end of the day.  Andrew was also at pains to point out that this was his first win for the year though some kind soul had the temerity to suggest that this wasn’t bad as he had only played twice so far – not true but amusing enough.

Mehmet, unfortunately, is still waiting for his first win and he must have held out hopes with the score that he carded.  Perhaps he only missed out because of the ‘worm ball’ that sent his putt astray on one hole.  Noodles didn’t actually have a worm ball but the recollections were so strong that he missed both a birdie and a par putt on the same hole.  Which probably explains why Noodles came in with +2 to take the points for third place.  This wasn’t Nood’s only distraction.  After spotting a group of attractive young things teeing off on the first, his plan was to play a draw from the 10th to take advantage of what opportunities presented themselves.  Unfortunately, the draw turned out to be a slice and he ended up on the 13th instead.  Probably only crusty old coots in that direction.

Chrispy reckoned that if he had played his own fairway he would have finished about 5 up rather than the singleton that he finished with.  It seem that the power fade just wasn’t connecting with the usual amount of wood-work to keep him on the correct patch of grass.  Simon didn’t waste any time in re-aligning his swing after his long break away from the game and managed to join Chrispy on the podium in his very first competition event.  Other than that, they were at diametrically opposite ends of the field.  This also opened Simon’s book in the Seniors event behind Blighty who took out top honours as well on that score.

There were a couple more seniors in the last of the point scorers with Gordon and Taner being the go-to boys getting points in Championship and Seniors as well.  They were joined by Ryan who, arguably should have been higher up the scale but for a couple of brain fades at critical times.  One notable occasion saw him execute a duck-hook with double axel (one of Mehm’s favourites) that looked to be heading the ball for a leisurely trip to Dight’s Falls but in good Priemsy style some wood-work intervened and returned the ball to be in play at least.

The lack of birdie action also meant that any movement on the Eclectic table was also minimal (other than Simon with his first card) with about three people recording improvements.  Pepsi still has a handy margin but as we are over the hump there is a need for some action to catch him.

In the IGL, Saints defeated Tigers, Hawks defeated Bulldogs and Magpies defeated Blues.  That put the Hawks back to the top of the Table while the Saints and the Magpies are still level pegging at the tail.  Next weeks round will break that tie and could put one or the other back into contention.  All teams need to get numbers to the ball to maximise chances for victory.

As for the rest, well there is always next week or the Nearest the Pin.  And the ball on the 12th went to – tadaaa – Craig.  So, will the jackpot on the ProPin bring out any more from the wood-work next week.  Surely, with a Monthly medal up for grabs as well there should be a few more numbers on the ground.  Although Dennis didn’t make the winners list there were comments about him wearing an eye-patch and carrying a parrot on his shoulder but it seems he will be recognisable next week by the heavy metal headwear with eye slot that he will be wearing.

Stefan didn’t have a great day of it though many would have liked to have carded his off the stick score if not his points tally.  Things were going so bad that at one stage Stef decided to sit down on the job without thinking of the consequences of the large number of ducks that are currently grazing and leaving deposits on the course.  Needless to say, Stef’s white shorts showed the result to great advantage.  However, on the 13th he put his tee shot into the tank on the left.  Played his third to just off the back of the green and then chipped in for his par.  At least there was one high-light hey Stef?  Damo got more and more anxious as the round progressed, mainly because he had an appointment with his son to go to the footy and it was seeming more and more likely that they would miss a fair bit of the first quarter.   This might have contributed to the production of a divot the size of a small carpet that travelled almost as far as the ball which barely made it past the ladies tee on the 15th.  At least it didn’t count as a draughtie.

Whitey, who was a major whinger about the number of Par events being played wasn’t making much of a fist of it until he gave up on the rest of the clubs in his bag and started using his trusty putter/driver.  This upset Chrispy when he didn’t make it to the 15th with an iron and Rod did with the putter and then proceeded to sink the putt for his birdie.  Plus, Rod beat his handicap on the holes that he played with said trusty club.  Watch out Three Club Challenge.  One consolation is, there will be three weeks of Stableford coming up soon so, how many people will complain about that?

One other observation made by Rod was that in umpteen rounds he has not played exactly to his handicap in any type of competition.  Could be an interesting statistic to consider in there somewhere.

Results for Saturday, 27 June 2015
1st Andrew Blight(+4) 2nd Mehmet Akdag(+3) 3rd Stephen Butterfield(+2) 4th Simon Powell(+1) 4th Chris Priems(+1) 5th Gordon Hill(-1) 5th Taner Kemal(-1) 5th Ryan Porker(-1)

Jack Frost didn’t wave his icy fingers over the river flats this morning but he mustn’t have been too far away judging by the number of members getting around with hands thrust deeply into pockets and hunched over like half-open pocket-knives.  Though it also must be granted that there were a couple of hardy types who turned up in the regulation shorts but they did concede to wearing something more thermally secure on the upper bodies.  Despite the coolth, 21, like the old war horse, darted into the fray but there was no indication of how many emulated the old cart horse.

If some of the score cards are anything to go by, then it took a while for people to get themselves and their balls warmed up.  Just as a for instance, Brendon only managed to put together 7 points on the front nine but fairly slaughtered the back nine with 23 points to rally up a tally of 30 points overall.  And just to prove that you don’t have to get a good one away on the first, ChrisV duffed his drive off the first, put his second to around 30m of the green and then chipped in for the birdie.  The ball was so pleased that it did three victory laps of the cup before finally dropping in but as they say, it’s not how, just how many.  And the birdie counted for the Eclectic.  So, a fine score of 41 points means that we now have another member with a single figure handicap.  Welcome to an elite group Chris.

Chris’s evil twin, Ryan, has also struck some form of late and is now starting to nip at the heels of Stefan in the Championship race so if Ryan can keep this run of form up we could be in for some interesting times in the run up to the end of the year.  The rest of the field has a bit of work to do, but if Stefan stays away and they keep their heads down there are still a few more who could make a late dash for the line.

Now, in the minor placings, things were not quite as they seemed after the round as a couple of errors were highlighted by the computer, which fortunately (for some) never says ‘No’.  As a result, Rob stayed in third place on his own and Mehmet was relegated to 4th, also on his own.  If it hadn’t been for a compensating error on Snag’s card, he would have dropped out of the points but in the shakeout he got to share the podium with Noodles.  Speaking of Noodles, he was another one who took the back nine apart, though not quite so comprehensively as Brendon, only managing to gather 21 points.

While on the subject of Championship Points, it had been intimated that only three of the four finalists in the Matchplay would be getting points.  That is not true, all semi-finalists get points, only the winner and first and second runner-up get trophies.  Snags is in line to get at least 10 after he was able to garner a victory over Zimmer today 2 up.  The golf wasn’t anything great to write home about but that is the way of it, the best player on the day won the match.  Zimmer will now have to play the loser of the other semi and win that match if he wants to collect some silver-ware for his trouble.

Interestingly, there were no Seniors gracing the main podium today and the honour went to Harry (32),  Dennis and Bob (30) and Targe (29).  The Seniors table is still fairly open though Gordon does have a bit of a lead at the moment but a few more days like today could easily change all that and with a couple of Majors still to go in the year anything is possible.

We managed 10 birdies today including one for the highlight of Gordo’s round when he sank a long curling putt on the 12th from at least 20m out.  Harry collected himself another ball for the nearest the Pin on the 7th having just eased out Chrispy by a couple of metres and the ball within half a metre of where the hole was yesterday.  Just a bit far out from the real hole for a birdie though.  The ProPin was on old faithful, the 18th, and only one person managed to get their name on it at 3.5 m and that was none other than our expatriate Kiwi, Brendon.  Just wait till he gets his buggy back!

Winning teams in the Ivanhoe Golf League were Bulldogs over the Tigers, Blues over the Saints and Magpies over the Hawks.  The Magpies seem to be making a bit of a comeback though there would have to be a few goals kicked soon or they could end the season in the bottom half of the table.  The Saints have slipped a bit of late with half of their list out with long-term injury and they are now also joint cellar dwellers.  The Tigers are clinging to the top spot but today’s loss makes them vulnerable with the Blues and the Hawks ready to pounce.

Our numbers were bolstered today with a couple of guests. Simon Powell came along for the first time and is very keen to join our ranks and we look forward to seeing more of Simon over the next few weeks as he shakes off an 8 year lay-off from the game.  Joel, normally plays with Riverview but could also be looking for some Saturday action and he might join us again in the future.

There was controversy on the course today after David’s tee shot left the teeing ground just slightly astray and, maybe, not particularly well hit, struck a tree and after some hesitation (according to Quack anyway) ricocheted back and came to rest on the ‘wrong’ side of the ladies tee markers.  Nice try, but the Rules of Golf specify that the shot has to be played from where the ball finally comes to rest and a Draughtie is defined as a ball that has to be played from behind the Ladies tee.  The upshot is that David bought the drinks.

In what could easily be a first, all four members in one group hit balls out of bounds on the 3rd.  With all the reloading and searching, the gap to the group in front extended more than somewhat and the gap never really did close for the rest of the round.  And this was after Brendon had made the jog back to the tee on the 2nd.  So, no wonder he didn’t score many points on the front.

Bob was spotted in amongst some bushes, head down, tail up.  Was he searching of a ball?  Not really, he was searching for his glasses.  Eventually found them some way back up the fairway but either hadn’t noticed that he had lost them (he reckons he doesn’t really need them) or perhaps he just thought the light would be better for searching there.  Targe went close to getting a Hole-in-One today.  It’s a bit unfortunate that it was unlikely to count for anything as he was teeing off on the 2nd and the green that he almost holed out on was the 1st.  Talk about high and wide and you know it’s not Targe being referred to.

There was some discussion about whether the Social Secretary was going to stop resting on his Past-Presidential laurels and arrange a weekend away.  Bendigo, Shepparton, Marysville, Echuca, Yarrawonga were all mentioned so if you have any thoughts or preferences you should start lobbying Gordo sooner rather than later to make your case.

Results for Saturday, 20 June 2015
1st Chris Vinecombe(41) 2nd Ryan Porker(38) 3rd Robert Priems(36) 4th Mehmet Akdag(35) 5th Stephen Butterfield(34) 5th Craig Sharp(34)

Winter is here to stay and 16 fearless competitors tested their nerve against Mr Freeze himself (not the Schwarzenegger kind). This week was the return of the yellow ball (or orange ball if you ask Chrispy) and everyone was keen as mustard to get their chance to get a +1 for their team.

It was fairly low scoring from the field with only 1 person playing to their handicap, with Gordon putting in a consistent effort to end up square and to take home the 8 points. What makes this feat even more extraordinary is that he was scoring partners with Eddie!

In equal 2nd place on -1 was some of our newer members in Mark Berthelsen and Taner Kemal. Still plenty of time in the year to catch up to the leaders from here lads after some promising scoring.

Equal 3rd on -2 was Noodles, Craig Cameron, SOS and Ryan. Noodles has put in a solid few weeks with 3x 3rd placing’s and a win in the last month. It must be all that swiping on his phone (left for no, right for yes??) which is well transferring into his swing rhythm. SOS was pre-occupied from the 13th hole onwards and was seen picking flowers rather than worrying about where his ball ended up. Ryan found himself right behind the tree on the 17th, and after calling out that he would hit it through the fork in the tree, it slotted through the gap and ended up a few feet from the hole for an easy birdie.

Speaking of birdies there were only 8 scored today which coincides with the tough conditions and consequent low scoring. Ed ended up on -3 and 4th place overall.

There were 9 point scorers in total and it could have been more if it wasn’t for Bob’s -4, as there were a few unlucky souls on -5 who just missed out on championship points.

There were only two teams who finished the round with the yellow ball intact. Winners on the day were Gordon, Ed, Craig C and Taner who ended up on +4. Bonus points have been awarded although there was talk about the fairness of the bonus point system which I’m sure will be put to bed in the near future.

IGL results for the weekend are as follows, with the Hawks, Tigers and Magpies all having wins.

Results for Saturday, 13 June 2015
1st Gordon Hill(□) 2nd Mark Berthelsen(-1) 2nd Taner Kemal(-1) 3rd Stephen Butterfield(-2) 3rd Craig Cameron(-2) 3rd Ryan Porker(-2)3rd Stephen O’Sullivan(-2) 4th Ed Kloprogge(-3) 5th Bob McDonald(-4) 

Today was a happy day for twenty one of our members but it was just touched with a bit of sadness for the passing of Fred Howe, a founding member of the Club, a mentor to many and beloved Dad to Chris and Robert.  Black arm-bands showed as a mark of respect but, by and large, it was more a day to celebrate a life well lived and quite a bit of that on the green green grass of Ivanhoe.  And, despite his failing memories, Fred never forgot his beloved Club and right to the end was keeping tabs on who was winning despite the fact that there were many he did not know but the many knew of him by tall tales and true and the trophy that bears his name.

After last month’s effort in which he blitzed the course but missed out on the silver-ware, Dennis at last joined the ranks of the first time medallists with a 65 nett from a 90 off the stick.  He is obviously getting his swing back into the groove and has jumped up the Championship table with two wins to his credit in a very short time.  In fact, there is only one other person in the Club with more than two wins in their tally and that is our current table leader, Stefan.  Dennis also took out the Senior points today ahead of Taner and Laurie.  There is actually a bit of a sting in the tail of this story when Dennis, being a bit uncertain about the fate of his first ball off the tee, played a provisional which definitely went OOB.  The second provisional was OK so he was staring a potential 5 off the tee in the face.  As it turned out, the first ball was found and OK, so a minimum of four shots was wiped from the potential total.  Dennis was obviously meant to win today.

The man who was relegated to second place by dint of this latter good fortune was Damo who came in a single stroke behind.  Damo was a bit unlucky not to tie it when his tee shot on the 17th rolled up to and across the hole to miss the HIO by a hairs breadth and left the easiest of putts for the eagle to clean up on the Eagles nest which was just getting to have enough in it to be worth winning.  The unfortunate thing for Damo was that he had already eagled that hole so it didn’t improve his eclectic.  While on the subject of the Eclectic, Pepsi has a comfortable break on the field at the moment of just over two strokes and he still has a couple of holes without birdies.  The beast reckons he will catch him by the end of the year by getting his handicap out far enough though the maths would be somewhat against that theory without at least some movement in filling the gaps in the birdie file.

Just one stroke further back on 67 were Chrispy and Noodles.  Chrispy played to a cunning game-plan today by keeping quiet about how he was going and letting his playing partners psyche each other out while competing for honours and, but for a couple of double bogies, he could easily have trumped the lot.  Noodles had a fair bit to say about the cut to his handicap after last week’s win before the round but it obviously wasn’t enough as he still managed to play under it.  His hard luck story also involved the 17th where he missed chipping in for an eagle as well and had the shortest of putts for his birdie.  The problem was that it was somewhat overshadowed by Damo’s efforts and the effort was largely ignored by the group.  However it was one of fourteen birdies carded today so that, plus the eagle, was the best showing that we have had for a little while.  Perhaps we are getting used to the soft conditions and the greens are settling down after their recent scarification and sanding.

CraigC seems to be pretty comfortable with his handicap and played exactly to it to come in and share 4th place with that other Craig, also known as Snags.  At one stage, late in the game, Snags was threatening to throw his putter into one of the hazards or even the river after a couple of less than stellar performances with the flat blade.  There was certainly a good chance that it wasn’t going to take the ride back to Dandenong.  But, having promised Harry that he was saving his best shot for the 18th and the money hole, he proceeded to do just that to put it within a couple of metres to collect the ProPin and the flat blade came good to slot the birdie.  At last reports the putter was safely on its way back to Dandenong.

The last player in the points today was SOS just another stroke back scoring his favourite number – 69.  Most of the rest of the field were within another five strokes back and, as for the rest, the less said the better.  Though the Beast is beginning to be convinced that there is a hex on him when he plays with Harry.  And, speaking of Harry, he managed to get his name on the marker for the Nearest the Pin for a ball on the 4th for the second week in a row.

In the IGL, the results today were quite close in two of the matches.  The Blues (Laurie and Chris – 139) defeated the Hawks (Pepsi and Taner – 141) and the Bulldogs (Damo and Snags 134) defeated the Saints (Noodles and SOS 136).   The Tigers (CraigC and Dennis 133) were way too good for the Magpies (Targe and Mal 147) which propels the Tigers to the top of the table and leaves the Magpies languishing on the bottom with the season getting close to the half way point.  Questions were asked about the possibility of a trading session but at the moment there is no provision for this sort of activity but if a sensible scheme could be worked out it could be considered in the future.

After Gordo’s day out on the course, he was obviously in need of some consolation and that might go some way to explaining why he was gazing so soulfully at the head on his glass of beer after the round.  Or was he just trying to decide whether he had been robbed by dint of an excessively large one.  Trevor put in an appearance today but was wondering whether he should even have gotten out of bed.  As it turned out he really wasn’t all that well and had to retire part way through.  Early reports are that he is OK and we hope to see his smiling face back on deck soon.

Mehmet and Stef were back in the Club-house well and truly and were still in deep discussion about their scores up to several holes back leading some to wonder whether they were just making them up as they went along.  If they were, then they didn’t do a very good job of it.  One player who did a good job of it on one hole was Taner on the 4th where, after a less than stellar second shot, he ended in the rough west of the green and almost out of bounds.  His shot out skipped and skittered through the intervening grass, struggled onto the green and just kept running to fall into the hole for what was considered to be the unlikeliest of birdies.  Go figure.

Next week is a Yellow Ball Teams day, just to liven up the interest for the scheduled Par Competition.  Then, there is a full month of regular golf in the lead up to the Fred Howe Cup.  By that time, the Matchplay should be all but finalised and we can all settle down for the race to the end of the year and try to catch Stefan.

This is NOT an advertisement.  Strapped for cash?  See Lalor Finance for Home Loans, Investment Loans and Commercial Loans.  Competitive rates for mates.  Ring Stef.

Results for Saturday, 06 June 2015
1st Dennis Ward(65) 2nd Damien Lee(66) 3rd Stephen Butterfield(67) 3rd Chris Priems(67) 4th Craig Cameron(68) 4th Craig Sharp(68) 5th Stephen O’Sullivan(69)