Monthly Archives: August 2015

Well it appears that Winter has not yet left us and a cold and miserable day was dished up by the powers that be. Not sure if it was the weather or extended hangover from the weekend away, but only 11 contenders rocked up to tame the at times wet Ivanhoe course. Of those who did fight the conditions there was plenty of points on offer, with 9 of the 11 scoring a championship point. (We won’t say who were the unlucky ones, hey Bob:P)

Three equal winners after a miscalculation on Ed’s card meant that he tied on 37 points with Pepsi and Blighty. The andrews both came home on fire on the back 9, Blighty with 23 points and Pepsi going around on even par. During Gordons round he was apparently talking himself up for the monthly medal as he was going alright. Too bad for him the medal is next week, although he did come in second place with 32 points. SOS held his nerve to hold onto 3rd place with 29 points.

Whitey and noods were quite excited to sneak into the points with 28 stableford points, unfortunately for the rest of us due to Ed’s improvement to 1st place they both come in 4th. Rounding out the places was Targe and Priemsy who take out 5th with 27 points. Hopefully the scoring improves next week although generally the scoring was better than at Nurmurkah (apart from Ryan who somehow did worse).

The money and ball went to Noodles today after slotting it close to the pin on the 18th and 12th. Spend that 11 dollars wisely Noodes.

Interesting results in the IGL competition today with two teams scoring zero points after ASADA issues (or a few did not shows). So wins by forfeit to the Blues and Magpies. The hawks had a win over the saints 74 to 57. This marks the end of the regular season and now finals are upon us.

The IGL authorities (harry) have announced that the finals will consist of the McIntyre format with 5 teams playing off. Next week Hawks have a week off after finishing on top. Tigers (2nd) play Blues (3rd) and in the second match the magpies (4th) play Bulldogs (5th).  Unfortunately the saints miss out on a finals birth.  Final ladder is shown below;

Ivanhoe Golf League Ladder

Apparently Rob was quite pleased with himself with his win in the Country round last week.  So much so that the trophy went straight to the pool room for all to see.

Results for Saturday, 29 August 2015
1st Andrew Blight(37) 1st Ed Kloprogge(37) 1st Andrew Petricola(37) 2nd Gordon Hill(32) 3rd Stephen O’Sullivan(29) 4th Stephen Butterfield(28) 4th Rodney White(28) 5th Targe Mifsud(27) 5th Chris Priems(27)

Nineteen intrepid souls ventured onto the course at Numurkah over the weekend.  Eighteen were Club members and one was a partner.  Something of a first for the event and surely a sign of a certain maturity pervading the Club.  And what is more, Hayley, ChrisV’s lovely wife managed to show a few of the members how to handle the course and finished just about right in the middle of the field.  There was a suggestion that we could have been two ladies playing but Targe’s wife Nerille was unable to be persuaded to chance her arm against Targe, or was it the other way around?

The couch on the fairways was pretty brown, it being winter and all, but it was still good to play from and certainly didn’t form the basis of an excuse for some of the scores.  The mounded greens did pose a bit more of a problem and it took a while to work out a workable approach technique to get the ball onto and to stay on the putting surface.  But once there, the putting surface was terrific and a lot better than the somewhat bumpy tracks that we have become used to.  The other aspect of the course that came in for comment was the amount of run to be had compared to Ivanhoe at the moment and the tighter more heavily treed aspect of the course also caused some grief from time to time.

Saturday was cracker from a weather point of view.  The sun shone brightly and the temperature was easily in the twenties.  A few people put in early claims for the title of contender and there were three or four within a few points so that an interesting contest on Sunday was pretty much assured.  And there were a few likely types a bit further back in the pack so that a late burst to prominence was not entirely out of the question.  For others though, there was a need of a major train crash to incapacitate the field for them to have a chance.

A number of people entered the local Saturday Comp and a couple of balls were handed out, one for a second place and one for an encouragement award.  Much to the chagrin of at least one member, all of the names and scores were posted on the club scoreboard. Chrispy was involved in a conversation with one of the local lady members about the poor unfortunate who had only managed to accumulate 17 points in the round.  Must have had a really bad day he opined as he sidled away so as to avoid having to reveal that it was he who had fared so badly.

As it turned out, it was one of the pack rats who really came to the fore when it counted and Rob managed to show true form and leap to equal first place with his total of 70 points (29 and 41) with Allan (34 and 36) so that a count-back was required.  With a five point margin on the day, it was not at all surprising that Rob got the nod and was presented with the highly acclaimed Mustard Jacket from the outgoing Champion, David.  David has been caretaker of the venerated cloth for two years, after last years event did not eventuate and he wore it to Friday night dinner with great pride.

Third place in the event went to David who tried valiantly to score the coveted back to back wins and although he improved on Day 2 it was not enough to catch up on the first two place getters.  For the record, Damo was the leader after Day 1 but his deft touch failed him a little and he could only manage to come home in 4th place alongside Gordo who did a bit of sledging at dinner on Saturday by offering Damo a pack of Butter Menthols.  Maybe this was an effective ploy.

There were some ancilliary events over the weekend as well.  There was a secret six event that was won by Allan.  There were a couple of nearest the pins and, given the reported difficulty in getting onto the green, it is possibly a bit surprising that they actually went off.  But, go off they did, and Brendon and Noodles were the lucky winners.  The ProPin was placed on the short 18th hole and Saturday went by and nary a ball had stayed on the putting surface.  After much discussion it was decided that the cash would carry over to Sunday and that it would be nearest, regardless of distance to ensure that it did actually go off.  There was even a suggestion to make it nearest in two if all else failed.  As it turned out, the honour went to Whitey who claimed it was the only decent shot he had made out of 215 that he took over the weekend.

The trees certainly played a part in this but there seems to have been an extraordinary number of draughties over the weekend and in one group three of the four suffered the fate.  Harry was a victim of the trees on the 9th but his didn’t qualify as a draughtie as it was only the ladies on the next door 6th tee that he was almost, but not quite, in front of.  There were even discussions to suggest that one player took several shots to get past the ladies tee but it does seem that one of these was long and out of bounds and the penalty was included in the count.  Something of a moot point it seems.  Not only were there draughties, there was at least one airie and it was Pepsi who owned up to that.  Not a bad effort for a bloke on his handicap.

Mehmet, started out as if he was going to have a blinder and with 17 points after seven holes he reckoned it was the easiest course he had ever played.  Then this peculiar buzzing sound got into his head and the wheels promptly fell off in a big way.  And the buzzing sound continued for the rest of the weekend and could still be heard on the 18th on Sunday.  Whether the same sound contributed to Pepsi’s failure on several holes is a point that would need to be investigated further.

It is not clear whether ChrisV was more concerned about the prospect of being beaten by Hayley or whether their house would burn down because the heating system had been left turned on.  Just to be sure on the latter point, after the game Hayley drove all the way back to Melbourne to turn it off and then returned to Numurkah in time for dinner at night.  They assured us that it wasn’t to save money from the heating bill and Mehmet was adamant that it would have been cheaper to have left it on.  Certainly the car fuel bill would have been considerably lighter.

There was a bit of a crowd gathered by the 18th green watching the field come in, including Chrispy who shouted fore and watch out to the assembled crowd, somewhat in jest, only to be narrowly missed by an incoming ball himself.  Talk about the boy who cried wolf.

Noodles gained some sort of notoriety by managing to turn a birdie putt into an eight but perhaps not as much as by turning up to dinner in his best ‘Farmer Wants a Wife’ outfit just because there was a 21st birthday party going on in the Club house.  While on the clothing front, John was resplendent in a pair of trousers that could be best be described as lairy in a nice shade of red and was described by SOS as being a victim of circus pants.  Brendon was seen strutting round in a puff jacket in a similar shade and doing a fair imitation of the Michelin Man.

There was footy on in Numurkah on Saturday and at one stage Chrispy was discussing the possibility of only playing nine holes and going and playing in the Magoos.  With the oval just across the road and apparently a number of junior games being run simultaneously there was a pretty much continuous barrage of air horns being discharged.  Ryan formed the view that every time he was lining up to putt or in mid-stroke he was put off by a siren blast.  Nothing like that on Sunday though when two shots from the tee ended up in the front yard of a house across the road only a metre or so apart.  Nothing if not consistent.

Needless to say, there were a range of alcoholic beverages consumed during the afternoons, evenings and nights.  Such consumption might or might not have contributed (or detracted from) the playing form of some members.  Besides various craft beers and the almost compulsory Jimmy and Coke (the Club ran out on Friday night) there was some cider being consumed as well which gave SOS the opportunity to repeat several times that his favourite brand was Dickens Cider (whatever that might mean).  Definitely been injected with ‘pun serum’ our SOS.

So, a good time was had by all.  The gardens around the accommodation huts should thrive with all of the attention that was lavished upon them over the weekend.  The Golf Club management were welcoming, attentive and generous to a fault and there is no reason to believe that this will not be a venue that we will return to in future excursions of this nature.

Results for Saturday, 22 August 2015 Annual Challenge
1st Rob Priems(70 c/b) 2nd Allan Davies(70) 3rd David Howard(66) 4th Damien Lee(62) 4th Gordon Hill(62) 5th John Quinlan(61)

And well might you ask what the other eleven clubs are for.  From looking at the scores turned in, the only thing that was really obvious was the dearth of birdies that were scored.  A paltry two from a field of eighteen, probably one of the lowest strike rates for quite some time if not in all time.  But, in all but a few cases, the actual scoring wasn’t too much different from normal and maybe a couple of those less than stellar performances could have been down to club choice.  Whitey, of course played about seventy of his total shots with the putter and Ryan was torn between blaming the handicapper after last week’s mauling and poor club selection.  A brief survey suggested that a wise choice was a low loft hybrid or fairway wood, and eight or nine iron and the putter.  Bob for one gave the putter a miss and had his moments on the green using a hybrid instead of the flat stick though it did call up a few expletives but, then again, so does the flat stick.

So, fresh back from his lay-off, the Beast was the one that handled the conditions and the restricted equipment list the best to take out the event by playing exactly to his handicap so the only damage to the handicap was to the extent of the winners penalty.  Bill did manage to quantify the benefit of the other eleven clubs having taken only two more strokes than last week when he had a full set.  And he didn’t get any birdies.  But he did get the top Seniors points as well so not a bad day all round.

Damo could easily have won the day if he hadn’t started reaching for the Strepsils pack on the home straight with single pointers on three of the last four holes.  He was pretty pleased with his club selection but apparently it was leaving himself with the ‘in-between’ shots that required a bit more control on the grip down/part swing front that brought him undone.  Still, 35 points is nothing to be sneezed at.

Blighty was another one that could have been right up there except for the three gashes and three singletons that marred an otherwise excellent card.  One shot on the 8th was worthy of note as he played from a difficult lie with interference from a tree on both back swing and follow through.  The ball headed for the billabong but rather fortuitously found the boundary post and ricocheted nicely back into the middle of the fairway.  A chip and a couple of putts still made the two points for the hole.  For his trouble and the 31 points Andrew collected the second Seniors points as well as the third in the main table.  He was joined on the dais by ChrisV who started in fine style but faded a bit on the back but maybe this was just in sympathy with Ryan who was marking his card.

Then came the most popular score of the day.  Thirty points and there were four of them there to share the glory.  A couple of Seniors in Gordon and Harry collected points in both tables while a couple of juniors only scored points in the main table.  Stef was able to peg back a few points on Ryan and Mehmet still continues to be the highest placed in the table without a win.

The Seniors were well represented today and the last points for the day went to a couple more of them with Targe and Allan rocking up with 28 points.  Maybe both should be making an appointment with an optometrist as Targe struggled to read the cards while making the announcements and Allan obviously had trouble reading the handicap sheet

Bobbie scored the ball for the Nearest the Pin on the 18th with a shot that was just past the hole by 30 or 40 cms.  There was some question as to whether he deserved to collect after taking three more to put the ball away though, to be fair, he was using his hybrid as a putter.  There was one highlight in Ryan’s round when he put it to 1.9m on the 12th which was more than enough to collect the cash for the ProPin.

Well, the final five is decided.  The Minor Premiership is decided.  The next and final round of the Home and Away season will be decided week after next to set the order of the other four teams in the five.  So the Hawks are the Minor Premiers with an unassailable lead in the table after they (Andrew and Gordon 61) defeated the Blues (ChrisV and Rod 58).  The Tigers are still one game clear in second place despite going down (Stef and Stef 60) to the Magpies (Bill and Targe 65) but they play the third placed Blues next round so a tie for second place is a possibility if the Blues manage to get up.  The IGL Commission will have to give some thought on how to break a tie in the event that one does occur.  The Magpies and the Bulldogs are tied for fourth place after the Bulldogs (Damo and Mehm 65) defeated the Saints (Harry and SOS 55) which relegated the Saints permanently to the Wooden Spoon.  As the Bulldogs are drawn to play the Magpies next round, this tie should be broken (unless of course there happens to be a tie in the match).  The Finals series will follow using the McIntyre Final Five system and it will be interesting to see how it all pans out particularly if it is possible to arrange for opposing team members to be playing in the same group.

The Birthday Birdie was a little disappointed that JohnQ wasn’t there today but he was probably out celebrating with his family.  This week sees Zimmer getting a little older if not a little wiser.

Good to see Michael back with a chipper and putter in his hand and his shoulder slowly coming good.  Seems he might have to get a wall at home repainted as he marks his progress to raise his arms higher up a wall day by day.  The almost putt of the day was down to Harry on the 12th from 28m out across the slope to leave it about 20mm out on the top side of the hole.

Mehm showed off his Jedi skills today by deflecting a ball that was in great danger of damaging his manhood.  He did it with the shaft of the putter that he was holding with one deft movement definitely worthy of a Jedi master.  Something out on the course must have gotten to Chrispy as he came back into the Clubhouse banging his head against veranda posts, walls and anything else hard to be had.  He wouldn’t elaborate but most likely because the cause was within earshot.  Somebody asked Blighty if he had worms as he chowed into a sandwich during the round and yet another asked if he was eating wedding cake after the round.  Interesting dietary combination worms and wedding cake even if they are both highly nutritious.

The Annual Challenge is fast approaching and Gordon will send out a final missive by email during the week.  As announced, we will be playing off our official daily handicaps for Numurkah and a list will be distributed once any who played inside today have been entered by the Club management.

Anybody who is planning to play at Ivanhoe next week please let us know by email or on the registration page so that we can confirm the tee times that we have booked.  Anybody who plays can organise their own comp and/or play in the inside comp and you will be credited with a social round for attendance purposes (as will all who attend the Annual Challenge).  The following week will be a normal club event, as many clubs as you like up to 14, and it will be a Stableford Competition

Results for Saturday, 15 August 2015
1st Bill Eastoe(36) 2nd Damien Lee(35) 3rd Andrew Blight(31) 3rd Chris Vinecombe(31) 4th Mehmet Akdag(30) 4th Stefan Belevski(30) 4th Harry Boughen(30) 4th Gordon Hill(30) 5th Allan Davies(29) 5th Targe Mifsud(29)

What a difference a week makes.  Another series of fronts, another series of rain-bands and wellies were almost the order of the day.  But, on the plus side, the long promised high was just about upon us and there was none of the dreaded wet stuff falling to take away from our enjoyment.  If it wasn’t for the wet stuff under-foot some people could have had a really good day.  And some people did have a pretty good day so it would seem that those that blame the condition of the course for their lack of form had perhaps find another excuse.  But that’s the second best part of golf – coming up with excuses.

So, from last week, having been within stabbing distance of Stef’s back, Ryan has now stepped into the lead in the Championship Table and will have to start watching his own back as others (and Stef) try to put in their run up the straight towards the end of the year.  There’s still a bit of life left in the competition yet.  And, what did Ryan have to do to gather the laurels today?  Well not quite as much as he did and there was some sort of a suggestion that he took a bit of a lie down on the back nine to bring in a square card on that half so his total tally of +5 was all down to a pretty stellar front nine.  And if you want to get a bit of an idea of why Ryan is where he is, just have a look at the graphs on his statistics page.  Of course that doesn’t show his exact current position but you get the idea.

A couple of points back and perhaps even a little pleased about missing out on the winners penalty (if not the extra few points) were a tidy little trio of Harry, SOS and the Beast.  There’s a rumour about that VicPol are going to introduce a new sobriety test in the near future where people are asked to read their current handicap from the printed handicap sheet.  There are doubts though as to whether SOS will be allowed to administer this type of test.  The Beast is making up for lost time on the Eclectic front and made up a goodly amount of ground with three birdies and he is getting close to his target of having a birdie on every hole on the course.  And the birdies were out and about generally with 13 coming in over-all.  Harry and Bill shared the top Seniors points today and Harry is now close to tapping Gordo on the shoulder.

Brendon managed to see off at least two players today with Ed and Trev coming under the starter’s gun carrying injuries and unfortunately they were unable to complete.  Graham was also carrying an old tennis injury that he thought had come good enough to play and he too had to retire after struggling manfully on for a while.  But, Brendon did finish and with a good enough score to fill the third spot on his lonesome after the promotion of SOS into second spot.  Just to keep his spot at the top of the Seniors, Gordon just tottered in under his handicap to collect fourth in the main event and second in the second.  ChrisV and Noodles finished off the list of point-getters for today.  Except of course for Blighty who was third cab off the rank for the Seniors.

The Nearest the Pin for a ball today was on the 12th and the man to bring home the polka-dot marker was Pepsi who put in a pretty good shot to squeeze out Simon who on another day could easily have shut out the rest of the field with his shot.  The ProPin was on the 15th and the Beast was so inspired that his ball hit the pin and finished only 39cm from the hole.  And he had the temerity to suggest that the previous group probably hadn’t put the pin back in properly otherwise it would have dropped in.  Tell’im he’s dreamin’!

Of course the big event of the day was the Battle of the Giants (well one giant and one not so giant) for the Matchplay Championship between Snags (G1) and JohnQ (G2).  And it was a match that involved, according to one correspondent, some puckering of certain parts of the anatomy that won’t be mentioned here as well as a serious need for the odd pack of Strepsils.  After fighting it out for six holes, John got a bit of a jump going and managed to get out to a three hole lead before Craig made a gallant fightback to get back within one hole at the 15th.  But, G1 ran out of puff and G2 skipped away again to finish the match off 3 and 1.

So, a worthy finish for our new Champion and Runner-up.  Apparently, though, the 13th proved to be one of the highlights (or lowlights depending on your point of view).  Craig’s tee shot finished in the pond on the right,  John’s finished OOB on the left.  Craig’s penalty shot finished in the pond on the left.  John’s was OK.  From there on it gets a bit murky but the eventual result on the hole was that John won it with 7 to beat Craig’s eight.  Just goes to show, the show ain’t over till the fat lady sings.

Chrispy had some run-ins with trees during the round and he is well known for the, often, favourable out-comes that he gets.  That didn’t seem to be the case as he was seen plodding disconsolately down the 8th while playing the 7th after a couple of goes at the poplars.  In a later effort, just as his ball hit another tree there was a metallic clang which seemed to have originated from the ball/tree contact.  Seems if it was just Snags taking things out on his club with a near-by sign (or vice versa).

The IPGC management are doing their best to improve the standard of the course and to protect the well-being of the players to the extent that, as well as installing a concrete path up the face of the 15th tee, they have also installed steps alongside to provide an alternative that might be less slippery in wet conditions.  Rob made a good fist of skating down the concrete today, much to the amusement of SOS and, fortunately, it was just something that you could have a bit of a laugh about but it is not hard to imagine something more serious being the outcome.  So, just a warning, if it is wet, consider using the steps provided.

Brendon was apparently chipping like a demon today putting it within almost gimme distance on every hole.  He probably wished we did pay ‘gimmes’ as it seems he couldn’t sink a putt to save himself.  Blighty, who played with Brendon, had to rush off as soon as the second group came in as he had something important to do, like go to a Collingwood match.  Though apparently they are playing Carlton.

Some very interesting results in the IGL today.  The Hawks, thanks to Gordo and Pepsi put together -1 to topple their arch-rivals the Tigers (Brendon and CraigC) who weren’t that far off the mark with -2.  ChrisV and Rob did it for the Blues by managing -2 and defeated the Bulldogs (Damo and Mehmet) on -4.  The Match of the Day, and a high-scoring affair, was between the Saints and the Magpies. The Saints, represented by Harry and SOS on +6 could be forgiven for feeling that they had been hard done by when they went down the the low ranking Magpies (Bill and Ryan) who tallied up with +8.  With only two rounds in the Home and Away to go, three teams are assured of appearing in the Finals and the Saints are now in a must-win position next week if they don’t want to be confirmed with the Wooden Spoon.

SOS was in a cantankerous mood today apparently and couldn’t/wouldn’t agree with anything that was said.  Good shot, no it was meant to go there.  Bad luck, what do you mean.  Black, White.  After Gordon found the best lie on the course last week, Noodles wasn’t going to be out-done and reckons he landed his ball on the softest spot on the course.  No, it wasn’t some muddy, water-logged spot, it was Snag’s guts.  The ball didn’t ‘plug’ but it sure didn’t ricochet according to Noods.  Mehm doesn’t want to be mentioned in the blog this week and so everybody should ignore this sentence but the fact that he tried to hand in a blank card probably should rate a mention but this isn’t it.

The Birthday Birdie almost suffered a Senior Moment and forgot to included the list of celebrations for this week.  So, better late than never here it is.  Brendon, the lad from the Shaky Isles,  ChrisV and the new(ish) bride will celebrate together and JohnQ gave himself a present of some silver-ware for his trophy cabinet.  Hippo Birdy lads!

Results for Saturday, 08 August 2015
1st Ryan Porker(+5) 2nd Harry Boughen(+3) 2nd Bill Eastoe(+3) 2nd Stephen O’Sullivan(+3) 3rd Brendon Mitchell(+2) 4th Gordon Hill(+1) 5th Stephen Butterfield(□) 5th Chris Vinecombe(□)