Yearly Archives: 2017

There was movement at the station for the word had got about that there was a big event about to get under way.  But, the rain was tumbling down and the course management was toying with closing the course but the radar looked as if there was going to be a bit of a break.  However, after a certain amount of lobbying and general discussion, it was decided that it would not be wise to proceed with the first round of the Vin O’Meara but that, for those that wished to brave the conditions, there would be a normal Club Stableford Event.  The Vin O’Meara was postponed for a week which will mean that the second round will now coincide with the Champion of Champions event on break-up day, 16 December.  For those who scratched themselves because they couldn’t play on the scheduled days but who can now play both days and who wish to be included, there will be a silent email auction for the Calcutta later in the week.  Anybody who needs to scratch because of the rescheduling, please advise so that the Calcutta money can be scratched as well.  There will be more correspondence on this shortly.

Anyway, after all of the to-ing and fro-ing there were 14 people who put up their money to test themselves against the conditions.  Only twelve actually made it to the course when Mehm and Stef pulled the plug without striking a blow in anger and the Club thanks them very much for their donation.  As the showers came and went during the round there were a couple of vacillators who went close to calling it a day.  Chrispy was one but he stuck it out for fear of being branded a wimp and Porks was the other though it was suggested that it was the company rather than the weather that was putting him off.

But, despite the rainy conditions and the water-logged greens there were actually some pretty reasonable scores put together.  First cabs off the rank drew from opposite ends of the age and handicap scale with Dale and Ed sharing the honour with a total of 36 points.  Dale was so bluffed by the water on the greens that he used his wedge rather than the putter on some of the longer shots on the green.  The strategy went close to paying off a couple of times when the ball had the accuracy but just too much pace to take the cup.  Reports on Ed’s strategy were sparse but he obviously relished the conditions if his score on the front nine is any guide.

Targe did not need his water-wings today although there was a warning to both him and John to be careful around the puddles out there.  Targe was pretty pleased with his five pars today as a good start to the Eclectic and with one up on the 13th that is one hole that it might be difficult to improve.  He wasn’t alone with getting an early start in the Eclectic with 7 birdies for the day.

Harry wonders whether he should have taken a page out of Dale’s book and used the wedge on a couple of greens when the putts pulled up short of the mark due to the water load.  Still, he wasn’t embarrassed to sign for 34 points and to stand on the podium beside JohnQ.  Brendon also had a bit of strife with judging the weight of putts through the water and he was a bit unlucky to finish with his score of 33.  Ryan survived playing with Targe and Blighty although he and Targe narrowly avoided being taken out by Blighty with a massive shank on the 6th tee.  A strategically placed buggy saved the day apparently.  Thirty two points was enough for Damo to collect the last point on offer and to get his Championship quest off to a start, if not a flying one.

There was a bit of a controversy in that everybody paid $5 as a comp fee but there were no nearest the pin markers put out.  Now, there was some suggestion that the money would be jackpot to next week and it was necessary to show some sort of a result to satisfy the system requirements.  So, maybe there will be a jackpot pool for next week or maybe it will be a donation to consolidated revenue.

One of Damo’s putts was something to behold.  As it headed on its way towards the hole, it struck some sort of impediment on the green, executed a double back-flip with pike before continuing on its merry way and finishing within gimme distance of the hole..  Brendon was beset by problems with the hand-brake in the later stages of the round.  No, he wasn’t running dead to protect his handicap, his wife was stranded in the shopping centre unable to release the hand-brake on the car and she had a ballet lesson to get to.  And everybody thought it was Brendon having the ballet lessons.  There was a thought that MattN was going to apply the hand-brake when he took out his driver on the 11th.  Nothing unusual about that you might say but this was from the fairway, not the tee.

There was a Committee meeting today and there were a couple of decisions taken relating to scheduling.  Because of the importance of the Major events to the Club, it is now in the Committee’s discretion to reschedule a round of an event if it is not sensible that it be played on the scheduled date due to the weather conditions or the condition of the course.  Preferably this should be done without impinging on Monthly Medals or other significant events.  Also, in future, the field for the Stuart Clarke Champion of Champions field will be filled by the winners of the specified events that are completed in the period of the Competition year.  This means that the winners of the upcoming Vin O’Meara and the in-progress Stroke Play Championship will participate in the 2018 Champion of Champions field.

Results for Saturday, 02 December 2017
1st Ed Kloprogge(36) 1st Dale Webb(36) 2nd Targe Mifsud(35) 3rd Harry Boughen(34) 3rd John Quinlan(34) 4th Brendon Mitchell(33) 4th Ryan Porker(33) 5th Damien Lee(32)

Seniors Results: 1st Ed Kloprogge (36) 2nd Targe Mifsud (35) 3rd Harry Boughen (34)

Nearest the Pin Results: ProPin No 1 12th Jackpot ProPin No 2 18th Jackpot BallPin 4th Jackpot

When Gordon was planning the catering for the bar-be-que for today he decided that twenty or twenty two would be the number to cater for and of course he didn’t want the dog getting too fat on left-overs.  As a result, he was a bit nervous when the first reports had 28 members on the registration list.  As it turned out, only twenty seven turned up, Trevor had to retire hurt after nine holes (after disobeying doctor’s orders, but he loves his golf) and a few people had to dash off and didn’t stay to sample Gordo’s bangers and burgers.  The dog will eat again tonight – at least that is what Gordo says.

The conditions were fairly benign with little wind although the humidity was fairly high so it got a bit sticky out there and MattN had a good excuse for coming up short due entirely to the ‘heavy’ air.  And the air must have been ‘heavy’ because Keith managed an ‘airy’ with a chip on the 6th and Dennis Darklands managed two in a row trying to extricate himself from a tight spot in the trees on the 11th.  There was a lot of discussion as to whether this constituted an equivalent offence to not getting past the red markers but even the latter is not written down anywhere.  Trevor did own up to a draughtie, but owing to the problems that he was having with his hip, I think we can forgive him that one.

Now, in the Championship Points competition, there was still a chance that Noodles could beat Harry for second place and the tee-marshall had originally slotted them into the same group for a head-to-head battle.  Whether Noodles chickened out or it was just a matter of balancing the groups, the match up did not take place and the two battled it out in their heads if not on the course.  But, although the score-line ended up being a close run thing, Harry won the day with his net 64 and, in the process, collected his first ever Monthly Medal and secured second place in the Championship Points, still a fair margin behind the unassailable Michael.

Matt played an exemplary round, striking his drives with great confidence for the whole round.  He did benefit from a couple of favourable bounces and deflections from trees but by and large it was good play that brought him into second place just a stroke behind Harry.  Maybe it was the conditions reminding him of Weipa that brought out the best in him though he did admit that he doesn’t have a ‘bauxite; club when he plays down here.  Ryan was a bit disappointed that a couple of missed putts prevented him from snatching the trophy from Harry.  Then again, Harry was a bit disappointed that a couple of missed putts didn’t give him a bigger winning margin.  It’s a game of ifs, buts and maybes after all.

Noodles came in third with a nett 66 and he obviously tried pretty hard to make a competition of it.  If he can keep up the pace, his price in the Calcutta Auction could prove to be the buy of the day.  Hopefully, he won’t have to face too many bouncers at the cricket this afternoon.  Jason had to dash off, probably to get home and try to get some sleep but, at least the buggy repairs held together and his game did as well so that he was able to collect 4th place with a card of 69.  Pepsi came in with the same score and there is some chance that it might have been better except for some unspecified mishap at the 9th that caused him to be heard on other parts of the course.  He managed a couple of birdies and contributed in a small way to the total of 13 from the whole crew.  Dale also featured in the birdie count and joined in on the fourth place podium level.

And, quietly puttering around on his little scooter, Allan picked up the fifth spot with a nett 70.  Allan did get accused of not collecting the NTP marker from the 4th green and he expressed surprise that he was supposed to pick it up.  When nobody owned up to having it, Simon was despatched to get a cart to go and retrieve it.  He returned with up-turned palms.  Where was the effing thing?  Oh, hang on, I’ve got it says Targe.  Grrrr!  Anyway, the double Jackpots obviously inspired everybody – sort of!  Darklands Dennis put his tee shot on the 4th to 4.93m, just inside the legal limit and held out all other comers to collect the dough.  Maybe he could have afforded a shout for the airies.  On the 18th, Brendon hit what was described as the worst looking shot of the day but it did manage to get onto the green and stopped at 1.1m from the hole which just goes to show, it is not how but where.  Undoubtedly, the dividend was not a shared one.  The BallPin was on the 15th and the Michael Gourlay Benefit Competition once again went to Michael.

The Club Stroke Play Championship is under way and the leader board is available from the Competition menu.  The leaders in the nett side of the table follow the placing list.  In the off-the-stick side  Michael, Pepsi and Noodles are the early front runners.

SOS sprayed his drive from the first into the trees on the left and there was some uncertainty where to search for it.  It was eventually found by Trevor in the grass at the base of the hill up to the 9th green.  SOS was right when he reckoned he heard it hit a tree.  Jason made a big walk back to the tee on the second, then found his original ball in the middle of the fairway.  Strictly, the first ball had been ‘lost’ when he returned to the tee and the second ball was the ball in play.  You can only play a provisional before you leave the location of the original shot.

Bob was noticed trying to keep cool by putting his shots into water hazards although it probably wouldn’t really work as most of them are actually still dry.  Not sure how long Simon has been playing golf or what sort of company he has been keeping when doing so but he had to have explained to him what the NARGA was.  Chrispy didn’t wear his gaudy pants today (not important enough occasion) and so his form was down on his expectations.  Reports have it that at one stage he threw his club down and had a good cry.  It must have done some good as he was pretty chirpy after the game.  The Beast hung around until nearly the last group to see whether he could be teamed up with Blighty to rub salt into the wounds as he took away the Eclectic trophy.  Alas, it was not to be, Blighty didn’t show and the birdies on the par threes went begging for Bill again.  Better luck next year, Bill.  Snags, also graced us with his presence today after a long stint on the buses.  He puts his generous girth down to something called ‘fizz-bombs’ but he can probably still lay claim to the title of the best iron player in the club.

Well, another competition year has come and gone and there will be a clean slate for everything next week.  The Calcutta Auction was very successful particularly when two people were bidding against one another on behalf of the same person.  JohnQ was so happy with one result that he declared that it was ‘better than BitCoin’ and that was without even having to buy the winner.  If anybody did not scratch themselves and have been auctioned but become aware that they will not be playing the second week of the event before next Saturday can they please let Harry or Gordon know so that the Calcutta Pool can be adjusted and member’s money is not unnecessarily wasted.  Anybody sold that does not play the first week will be refunded.  Please, do it for your golfing mates.

Results for Saturday, 25 November 2017
1st Harry Boughen (MM)(64) 2nd Matt Nicholls(65) 2nd Ryan Porker(65) 3rd Stephen Butterfield(66) 4th Jason Hopkins(69) 4th Andrew Petricola(69) 4th Dale Webb(69) 5th Allan Davies(70)

Seniors Results: 1st Harry Boughen (64) 2nd Allan Davies (70) 3rd Craig Cameron (71)

Nearest the Pin Results: ProPin No 1 4th Dennis Tiernan ProPin No 2 18th Brendon Mitchell BallPin 15th Michael Gourlay

During the week, there was a certain amount of rumbling but not much tumbling, at least in most parts of Melbourne anyway.  Still, a bit of rain is better than none and the course is looking all the better for it.  The fairways look a picture and still have more than a modicum of run in them but the greens did seem a little softer with a number of un-repaired pitch marks in evidence.  One approach by Noodles saw the ball remain embedded where it landed.  Noodles even asked if it was OK for him to lift the ball and repair the mark.  Harry felt like saying no!  The sun was out and the temperature soon climbed to a very comfortable level and nineteen players had what could be described as ideal conditions to test themselves against the vagaries of the game of golf.

Bill’s main aim today was not to win but to fill in as many of the missing birdies on his Eclectic card as possible and he was pleased to be able to hand in a card with three circles marking what he hoped were the elusive missing links.  Those three were a significant contribution to the total of eight that we managed to get on the day but, unfortunately, only one of them fell into the missing category on his Eclectic.  So, now, he has to get two of the missing ones next week if he wants to have any chance of whipping the prize from under Blighty’s nose.  Remember Bill, it’s the par threes that you need, not the par fours.

Anyway, in the process of trying to catch Blighty, Bill managed to put together 37 points and put in the highest score of the day.  He didn’t have all the glory to himself though.  The practice on the sand scrapes has obviously done Targe the world of good and he has presented to the judges for the second week in a row since getting back from his peregrinations around the country.

It was a tough day for competition out on the course today and Harry and Noodles were drawn in the same group with Noodles needing to get a fair jump on Harry and Harry needing to stay, if not in front of Noodles, at least not too far behind.  Harry started out well putting together eleven points in four holes while Noodles, by his own calculation, had thrown more clubs than he had points in the same distance.  But, with fourteen holes to go, the day was far from over.  A couple of gashes meant that, by the turn,  Harry’s eight point lead had been reduced to three and it was game on.  Noodles fairly played out of his skin on the back and missed by a whisker at parring the nine.  Harry had the better of the points until a run in with the hazard on the 17th resulted in another gash and by the end of the round, Harry had the better of Noodles by 36 points to 35.  The battle for second place goes on!

Simon and DennisW are both recently returned from sabbatical and haven’t wasted any time showing their faces on the podium.  Dennis was having a bit of trouble with his accuracy that ended up costing him dearly due to an uncharacteristic fade.  Attempts to correct said fade more often than not finished with trouble on the other side of the fairway.  Simon went to the mechanic for a tune-up during the week and he showed her the prompt card that he had written for himself.  He had to explain that it was meant to be read from left to right, not top to bottom.  The latter way of going could be interpreted quite differently particularly when you got to to the reminder to ‘cock wrists’.  He also reckons he didn’t need his carburetor to be tickled to get him going.

Both Craig and Jason started out well on the front nine.  Jason, apparently, had very little sleep since finishing work early this morning and his buggy broke down part way around so it is perhaps not surprising that he faded somewhat on the back nine.  Craig was not able to offer any excuses but he was perfectly happy to accept the point on offer.

It is coming up to Christmas so it is perhaps appropriate that there should be some money on offer to help to pay for the gifties to fill Santa’s sack.  So, it is entirely reasonable that nobody should make it within tape distance of the pin on the 4th and the 18th and there will be a double jackpot on both up for grabs next week.  Who said the 4th wasn’t a good spot for the ProPin?  The BallPin on the 12th was contested with Simon getting his name on the card after a close call with DennisW only to be knocked off by Chrispy who obviously put it even closer.

MattN managed to par the 13th but not without a little help from his friends.  He flighted it in from 80m out straight in line with the pin.  So much so, that it hit the top of the pin and stopped dead to drop to the ground within tap-in distance of the hole.  Luck’s a fortune!  MattH, who is taking part in the Movember event and is struggling a bit to come to terms with the caterpillar that has settled on his top lip, had a similar piece of luck after a shot on the 8th, that was heading so far out of bounds that Dight’s Falls was the likely next stop, hit a tree and came to rest in the middle of the fairway after missing several trees on the way back.  He didn’t make a par though.

Everybody knows about the Priems luck when it comes to using trees to improve the outcome of errant shots.  There is a hint that it might not be genetic after a shot by Jake on the 11th bounced to the base of a tree and nestled in a hole in the trunk.  Interestingly, DennisW had a remarkably similar result on the same hole on Thursday.  Could even have been the same hole, same tree.  Dennis used a shot from Tim Cahill’s repertoire to get the ball into a more favourable position.  There is no report as to how Jake played the shot.  And, while dealing with Dennis (T, that is) he was saddled with the embarrassment of playing the incorrect ball on the 18th.  And, just to rub salt into the wound, it was the ball that RodG had ‘lost’ when playing the 17th.  At least Rod was happy to get his ball back.

Brendon wasn’t able to play today because he had a ballet lesson.  He’d changed out of his tutu and points and was at the Course for a putting lesson.  He obviously means business for the Stroke Play Championship that starts next week (for three weeks) and for the Vin O’Meara that occupies the remaining two weeks.  Very few people have advised their intentions for the Vin O’Meara and we would particularly like to know who will not be playing both days so that we do not unnecessarily complicate things with the Calcutta Auction that will be run next week after the December Monthly Medal.

If there are any perpetual trophies out there, unbolt them from their secure mounting and bring them in so that Gordon can get the badges updated for the presentations on the 16th December.  Subscriptions are due and if they are not paid by the end of the month you will be ineligible for points until such time as they are paid.  GolfLink memberships will also be suspended.  Gordon is also looking for deposits for the Annual Challenge ($50 per person attending).  If we cut back the numbers that we have booked for it will not be possible to increase them later.  So, if you only think you will attend, pay the deposit.  We can refund further down the track if things change.

Results for Saturday, 18 November 2017
1st Bill Eastoe(37) 1st Targe Mifsud(37) 2nd Harry Boughen(36) 3rd Stephen Butterfield(35) 4th Simon Powell(34) 4th Dennis Ward(34) 5th Craig Cameron(33) 5th Jason Hopkins(33)

Seniors Results: 1st Bill Eastoe (37) 1st Targe Mifsud (37) 2nd Harry Boughen (36) 3rd Dennis Ward (34) 3rd Simon Powell (34)

Nearest the Pin Results: ProPin No 1 4th Jackpot ProPin No 2 18th Jackpot BallPin 12th Chris Priems

Sumer is icumen in, Luhde sing cuccu…….  Sure and begorrah, it was a lovely day today.  The skies were blue and the white balls painted a lovely picture as they arced through the air and bounded along the fairways towards the green.  Well, sometimes they did.  And when they got to the greens?  Well, there was the small percentage of ‘pebbles’ in the sand, that the ground-staff spread on Thursday, that helped to keep the putting interesting.  Curiously, there seemed to be more stories of hard luck than of good luck as a result.  Obviously some malevolent pebbles around.  On the other hand some could blame unnoticed pitch-marks and gum-nuts for at least some of their putting woes.

The sandy greens were no bar for Targe though as he has been away for a month playing on courses with sand scrapes and so he felt right at home putting in a ‘gritty’ performance.  Ryan, on the other hand, has been struggling valiantly for over a year to get a chance to put his foot onto the top dais of the podium.  With the Calcutta Form Guide in preparation, this return to form might require a rethink of the ‘expert’ opinion that has been written.  But, with the one point break, the damage to the handicap has been a bit muted so there is still plenty of chance for a run at the first big trophy of the new playing year.

Chrispy’s mode of dress was a little more subdued this week and when questioned he reckons that he is only going to wear his loudmouth pants for Major Events.  He was also here under some duress as he has been suffering from a bad case of ‘man-flu’.  Some unkind souls suggested that he was still hung-over from last weekends celebrations.  Can’t be man-flu though as Chris reckons he caught it from Carolyn.  Noodles spent most of his time out on the course trying to find out how Harry was going and this could easily have detracted from the quality of his game that, in his view, was ‘crap’.  Simon is back from his extended stint of gigs during which he accumulated a mountain of frequent flyer points but didn’t get to hold a club at all so he was pretty happy to be joining Chrispy and Noodles in second place with a square card.

In next place we have a pair that will be fighting it out for the first prize in the Eclectic Table.  Bill made up a point on Blighty with one of his birdies today, which was one of only six today.  He went very close to making up another one on Blighty and collecting a swag of balls when he drove the 14th to pin high and just missed the eagle by a very narrow margin.  Bill has four holes without birdies and two weeks to get two of them to have a chance and three to ensure a win.  provided, of course that Blighty doesn’t come good on any of his spares in the meantime.  We now know why the beast was using Blighty as an aiming point for his drives and approach shots.  So, despite all that, a pair of -1 score cards got them the points for third place.

Pepsi had his ups and downs today.  On the 11th he went from the trees on the right into the bushes on the left of the green.  From there he poked it through a gap to short of the green and then calmly chipped it in for the par.. As they say in the classics, you don’t have to post pictures on Instagram.  Harry’s drive on the 12th fell a bit short and rolled back down to the base of the hill.  A sand-wedge floated up onto the green and finished about 75mm left of the hole.  Something of a highlight in an ordinary short game day.  No real goss on Dale but he was keen to tell tales on others so maybe he was diverting attention.  A fine trio in 4th place with -2 points.

There were a swag of people on -5 who were quite prepared to accept a point for their trouble.  Unfortunately for them, Allan came in with a -4 and scooped up the last point from under their noses.

The Nearest the Pin events continued the pattern of the last few weeks.  The BallPin was on the 12th and there was actually a bit of a contest with a number of names on the ticket.  The latest, and the ball winner, was Porks.  The mobile ProPin was on the 4th and, for those that looked askance when the selection was announced, what do you know, it has jackpotted to next week.  The ProPin on the 18th also went begging despite a few people getting their drives onto the green, none were close enough to worry the tape and this too will Jackpot to next week.  There were twenty members played this week, plus a couple of guests, so there will be a pool of $22 to build on for next week

Stefan was there, according to all reports, although he dashed off and did not leave his card.  The report has it that he actually drove the green on the 9th but he did a Bill and missed the eagle putt and so the baldy old Eagle survives yet another week and the clutch of eggs in the nest is now building to a sizeable total.  If the Jackpot ProPins don’t bring Stef back, the Eagles Nest surely will.

RodG wasn’t altogether happy with his performance with the flat stick today so he was more than happy to chip in on one hole so that he didn’t have to use the putter.  And, it wasn’t actually all that bad, as he was one of the ones bumped out of the points by Allan.  Rob hit one so far out of bounds on the 13th that there was a chance that it caused damage to one of the houses.  Rob, rather bravely, wandered across to see if it could be seen but when he spotted a home-owner glaring down from the verandah, he carefully made sure he looked innocently the other way.  Targe teed off from the 15th and put his ball out of bounds into the tennis club carpark.  He retrieved the ball and played a ‘practice’ shot towards the green and went close to putting that out of bounds as well on the far side of the green.

End of the year is now very close.  Anybody who is holding Perpetual Trophies could they please bring them along so that Gordon can get them engraved.  The Stroke Play Championship rounds are coming up (December MM and two rounds of the Vin O’Meara).  The Calcutta Form Guide is being prepared and the Auction will be held after the round on 25 November.  Can everybody advise their intentions about playing in this event (not at all, one week only, both weeks) so that we can eliminate the scratchings from the Auction schedule.  The Form Guide will be posted after next weeks round.

Club ($30) and GolfLink ($90) subscriptions are due and should be paid at your earliest opportunity.  We have to tidy up our GolfLink list and if you have not paid by the end of November you will be dropped from our list.  No ifs, buts or maybes.  If you are dropped, you cannot be re-instated until after our return is made and invoice settled.

The deposit payment to Rich River is due at the end of this week.  Deposit is $50 per person attending.  The Club needs the money to cover the cost but if your circumstances change between now and next October, your deposit to us will be refundable.  So, if you like, we are asking you for a loan.

Results for Saturday, 11 November 2017
1st Targe Mifsud(+1) 1st Ryan Porker(+1) 2nd Stephen Butterfield(□) 2nd Simon Powell(□) 2nd Chris Priems(□) 3rd Andrew Blight(-1) 3rd Bill Eastoe(-1) 4th Harry Boughen(-2) 4th Andrew Petricola(-2) 4th Dale Webb(-2) 5th Allan Davies(-4)

Seniors Results: 1st Targe Mifsud (+1) 2nd Simon Powell (□) 3rd Andrew Blight (-1) 3rd Bill Eastoe (-1)

Nearest the Pin Results: ProPin No 1 4th Jackpot ProPin No 2 18th Jackpot BallPin 12th Ryan Porker