Yearly Archives: 2017

For some reason, handicapping was a hot topic of conversation around the Club today.  Which is a bit of a pity because we should have been busy wishing a swag of people Happy Birthday.  That is, we could have if they had been here.  The Birthday Birdie reports that celebrations are forthcoming for Brendon (today actually) as well as el Pres JohnQ and ChrisV.  Brendon did turn up late to hand his clubs over to Chrispy for the trip to Shep and quietly dropped that this was the day.  JohnQ is out of town and we haven’t seen Chris for a little while but like Arnie – he’ll be back.

There were a few showers passing through early this morning and maybe this was enough to put a few people off so we only had a field of fifteen today and one of our longer term members was commenting that this was the wettest he had seen the course.  Maybe his memory is failing him.  He reckons his golf is and that he might just drive the drinks cart up at Shep next weekend.  Come on Chrispy, at least you didn’t get the NARGA.

The going obviously wasn’t too soft for Brent who spent a lot of time explaining how this was the first time in a long time that he had played three weeks in a row.  The practice obviously has paid off because he was easily able to exceed the early predictions that a square round would be enough to win the day.  A plus three score-card and the winners penalty was enough to bring his handicap closer to where it should be if he can get his left-handers slice under control.  There was one major aberration when he severely  topped a drive, almost driving the ball into the ground and moving it only a metre or so from its starting point.  This also happened to be well short of the red markers and counted as a draughtie.  Ryan also fell victim to the draughtie syndrome on two occasions and a number of members are keen to be grouped with Porks next weekend as rumour has it that there are some largish distances from the back markers to the reds at Shep.

There were a few people hot on the tail of Brent and three of them tied it up for second place just a stroke behind with +2.  Harry took about four holes to start warming up and looked to be somewhat out of the race after the front nine.  A veritable blitzkreig on the back nine was a complete contrast leading to accusations that don’t bear mentioning.  Jason has been getting in some practice on Thursdays and that is standing him in good stead to join in on the second podium spot.  Ed, on the other hand, started strongly with  +2 on the front but faded a bit on the back to maintain that score to the end.

Noodles was pretty steady right through the round with no disasters to speak of though he was heard to express his displeasure at one stage.  There was at least one highlight when he was able to but his drive on the 18th to 4.57m of the pin on the 18th which was enough to collect him the ProPin for that hole on the day..  Simon lined up for a coaching session during the week and after about six holes he was all fired up to buy the coach a bottle of bubbly for fixing his game.  A pair of square nines put him on a par with Noodles.

Now, Snags is not somebody that we see very often due to his commitments to keep the public transport system operating and on time but he did suggest that if the records were checked they would show that, the last eight times that he has played, he has been in the points every time.  The records weren’t checked so the claim cannot be confirmed at this stage but he certainly made the grade for this round with his -1 card.  He certainly showed that some of his fine touch had not been left on the buses and he took great delight in not letting Chrispy forget it.  If there was a low-light in the round it would have to be the three chips that it took to get onto the 18th green from the grass bunker at the front of the green.  Targe and Bob, who was barely heard, were able to match Snags, at least on the score card.

Then there was a 2 point gap to the final place with Dennis and MattN filling the final spot on the podium.  Which left a mere four people out of the points on the day.  No names, no packdrill.  Michael, it must be said was not at all pleased about his 67% miss rate from 1.5m or less with the flat stick.  The Beast held the view that his group losing two balls on the 1st was not a good omen.  Chrispy had as good as a gimme on the 18th and he went to tap it in with his ‘not so’ trusty collingwood putter.  The club did hit the ball but it was so much on the top of the ball that the ball did not move from its position.  Not a bad trick.  So desperate was Chrispy that he changed his ball at least three times during the round.  He did express the view that he preferred using the pink Volvic although the word that he was using conjured up and entirely different image with the listener.  Or maybe he wasn’t talking about the ball at all.

The first ProPin was on the 15th.  The tee was not particularly far back and the conditions were generally benign so it is with some surprise that it must be reported that nobody got within the required closeness to the pin and so there will be a jackpot to the next week.  The BallPin was on the 12th and Simon was very relieved to discover that nobody was able to get closer than he did.

Next week is the Annual Challenge weekend and a fair number of members are travelling to Shepparton to contest the highly regarded Mustard Jacket event.  There will be golf at Ivanhoe with a competition if there are more than six members playing.  Those planning to play at Ivanhoe should notify, either via the Registration page or by sending an email to Simon or Harry so that we know in advance how many players to expect.  Please!

Results for Saturday, 12 August 2017
1st Brent Rowley (+3) 2nd Harry Boughen (+2) 2nd Jason Hopkins (+2) 2nd Ed Kloprogge (+2) 3rd Stephen Butterfield (□) 3rd Simon Powell (□)

4th Bob McDonald (-1) 4th Targe Mifsud (-1) 4th Craig Sharp (-1) 5th Matt Nicholls (-3) 5th Dennis Ward (-3)

Seniors Results: 1st Ed Kloprogge (+2) 1st Harry Boughen (+2) 2nd Simon Powell (□) 3rd Bob McDonald (-1) 3rd Targe Mifsud (-1)

Nearest the Pin Results: ProPin No 1 15th Jackpot ProPin No 2 18th Stephen Butterfield BallPin 12th Simon Powell

Now, you would reckon that a person who had 14 strokes on the last two holes would have precious little to smile about.  Well, you would reckon wrongly.  Just have a look at the pic on the right.  With the last shot for the Club on the day, SOS managed to put his drive from the 18th onto the green, it rolled up the slope almost to the top deck and then turned around and trickled back down and into the hole.  SOS didn’t see it and when he couldn’t see his ball on the green, his first thought was – surely not another lost ball.  In the process, he managed to collect A) a hole in one, B) the Eagles Nest, C) the double Jackpot for the 18th Hole ProPin.  SOS doesn’t enter the inside comp very often so he missed out on repeating the effort for the management event.  As for the 13 strokes that he racked up on the 17th.  Let’s just say that it was starting to look like he would be able to walk across the pond to the green, he put so many balls into it.  His ball for the 18th was so shabby, he was reluctant to hand it over for incorporation into his HIO trophy.  This assumes that Gordon doesn’t manage to misplace it.  And maybe SOS will rue having the scorecard immortalised as well given that he also collected the NARGA for the day.

There is probably plenty more that could be said about SOS but that would be unfair to the real golfers, 19 in all (not including SOS) who played for the Medal today.  Sobriety might very well have been the fillip that Brendon needed to get himself back into the winners circle and he managed to play exactly to his handicap with only one or two suspicious scores on his card.  But he was so enthusiastic about making up for his Dry July that he rushed inside and got himself a Fat Yak ‘on the tab’ even though one had not been set up.  The main reason he was smiling was that the girls inside asked who the ‘young’ chap was that had the beer on the tab.

Ed was heard loud and clear on the first tee this morning but after that he seems to have gone very quiet.  Perhaps he was concentrating on his game as he was able to come in just a stroke behind Brendon to take out second place.  The first ProPin was on the 12th hole, and Ed put his drive to 1.95m from the pin and remained unbeaten by the rest of the field at the end of the day.  He slotted the putt for the birdie and contributed in a small way to the total of 8 that we managed for the day.  Just one stroke behind with a pair of 70s were Michael and Harry.  Michael was less than happy with the performance of his ‘Essendon’ putter on a couple of occasions though he reckons it does have a few runs on the board after his Matchplay against Pepsi.  Harry also thought he could have played better but there are signs that the short game coaching could pay dividends in the near future.

Noodles was in a group of three today and so he had no excuse of losing concentration by waiting around.  Instead, he complained about the time he had to wait for the groups of four to come in after he had finished.  He finished with a nett 72 to take out fourth place in concert with MattH.  Now Matt said that he was pleased that he had missed his eagle putt on the 17th but, if that is the case, then he can’t be too pleased about the fact that he only scored a par on the hole.  Gordo is blaming Ed for an injury that he suffered by walking into a wire fence and gashing his knee.  The detail of why this was so is lost in the mists of time.  Fortunately somebody had a Band-Aid and there is no blood-rule so Gordon could finish the round to nett 73 of the best and take out the final point on offer for the day.

The BallPin was on the 15th and the man of the moment was Brent who managed to squeeze out Rob for the ball.  Brent has been off gallivanting the world in general and the US of A in particular.  Disneyland was one of the highlights and he went on every ride.  They also went to Lost Wages but we didn’t hear whether he got taken for a ride there.  And, speaking of Rob, he managed to go close to driving the green on the 14th but could only manage a 6 for the hole.  One view had it that Rob could have had a hole-in-one and still had four putts.  Ryan had a staff function to go to last night and he was unsure as to whether he would make it.  But, make it he did, and he used his hang-over as an excuse.

There were three draughties today and they all resulted from bounce-backs.  Dennis managed two of them and he was noticeably nervous on any hole where the white markers were well back and the red markers were well forward.  This was particularly so when Michael made a point of pointing the fact out.  The third one was a definite aberration with Pepsi falling victim on the 17th.

For the first time in a while, the Birthday Birdie has to get out of his bean-bag and spread some good wishes for the coming week.  Harry will be a little closer to playing his age as he tallies up another year on the planet.

The Annual Challenge is just around the corner and Gordon will be notifying details in the coming week.  Everybody has been advised of the possibility of there being two competitions on that weekend and we would like to get some idea of who will be playing of those not attending the Annual Challenge so that we can give the management  a heads up on the number of tee slots required at Ivanhoe.

Results for Saturday, 05 August 2017
1st Brendon Mitchell(68) 2nd Ed Kloprogge(69) 3rd Harry Boughen(70) 3rd Michael Gourlay(70) 4th Stephen Butterfield(72) 4th Matt Hunt(72) 5th Gordon Hill(73)

Seniors Results: 1st Ed Kloprogge (69) 2nd Harry Boughen (70) 3rd Gordon Hill (73)

Nearest the Pin Results: ProPin No 1 12th Ed Kloprogge ProPin No 2 18th Stephen O BallPin 15th Brent Rowley

Hole in One Results: Hole in One 18th *** Stephen O’Sullivan ***

The windbags were out today.  If not out on the course, somewhere round about puffing up a nor-norwester that got progressively stronger as the morning progressed.  The front group had the best of it although the 18th was quite the challenge requiring a shot made right into the teeth of the gale so that the cross-wind component could bring the ball back to the vicinity of the green.  The pin position on the top tier made the task even more challenging but a couple of people did manage to be ‘just’ off the green and not eligible for the ProPin measurement.  And so, we have a Double Jackpot on the 18th next week.  Not only that, but nobody managed to get within distance on the 12th and so there is a jackpot there as well.  Lots of loot up for grabs next week, and a Monthly Medal as well.  There could very well be a good turn out as a result.  Today’s numbers were down a bit and whether people were put off by the forecasts or whether they were suffering from Stableford overload remains to be seen.

The man of the moment however was our venerable Club President, JohnQ, who planted his feet wide and used his stature to advantage in the blustery conditions to come in with 35 points of the best.  In the process, he managed to take three penalty strokes and scored a birdie on the 9th which is a fair achievement in itself.  Not only that, but it was the only birdie carded for the day.  That would have to be a record low for the time that we have been keeping tabs on the count at least.

Now Harry was probably a bit more susceptible to the effects of wind that el Pres, so the fact that he was able to come in with 34 points might be a bit surprising.  But he has been getting some coaching on his short game and the benefits were not particularly manifest today.  The scoring could have been a lot better if the chips to the green had been leaving him with something less than 6m putts.  The practice will pay off one of these days.

Just a point behind, we find the Beast and Jason with 33 points each.  Bill didn’t have much to say about his round but he and Noodles were having a bit of a driving contest.  On the 16th, with a howling tail wind, Noodles unleashed one of his quick-fire drives and the ball finished less than 30m from the green.  Bill, on the other hand must have gone astray somewhere and could only manage a no-score for the hole.  Jason was on the lower deck on the 18th green and suffered badly when his putt did not quite make it to the top of the rise and the ball rolled back down to where it started.  Blighty was in the group with Noodles and Noodles was complaining that Blighty seemed to have two strokes on every hole.  Well, he had more than he should have because he marked his card with his inside handicap rather than his Club handicap.  It wasn’t that he put the wrong card in, both cards were scored that way.

Ryan was also very quiet about his round and, when asked, he said it was pretty boring.  Boring enough to score 32 points and to catch him 4th place points on his own.  SOS was shaking the leg of his trousers on the 18th tee after a ball from the 17th missed everybody and everything but just grazed his arm.  Fortunately, it was late in the round and he had pretty much tallied up his 31 points by then.  MattN made a bit of a feature of being erratic particularly off the tee.  Late in the round he received a message about a horse that was running at Caulfield and he packed up his kit pretty smartly after the round and headed for the track to get his hard earned on the nose.  Will the news be good?

The wind was blamed for a multitude of things today.  Allan called it to task for a missed putt on the 18th but Harry holds the view that it was friction and gravity that was to blame given that the ball finished well short of the target.  The BallPin was situated on the 4th today and the first group was anxious to make sure that the marker went out on the appropriate hole.  There was no real need to worry after Targe put his drive onto the green and he made sure that the marker was not forgotten.  Targe was pretty chipper about his group being a hole and a half in front of the next considering that Noodles was in that group.  We won’t say who Noodles pointed the finger at!

Gordon threatened that his 5 wood would no longer have a place in his bag after a particularly poor shot on the second.  It seems to have redeemed itself later in the round and there will be a place for it next week.  Noodles was another who gave his clubs a good talking to and a couple of them even took flying lessons.  They almost needed a line search to find the one up the hill from the 15th tee (which was from the 14th fairway, by the way).  The Beast played a shot on the 8th that looked for all the world like being Yallah, bye, bye and down the river.  Not our Bill.  Somehow, the ball found its way back in bounds and finished about two and a half metres from the pin.

Dale cracked one a bit left off the 11th tee and it disappeared into the pine tree that usually means no good will come of it.  The ball eventually turned up well down the fairway and nearly to the green.  The jury is still out on how the ball got to where it did with reports of a person wandering erratically around the course.  No such luck for Matt who chunked it pretty severely on the 8th, the ball hit one of the buggies parked by the tee and finished back in the hazard, well, well short of the red markers.  Targe picked a nice soft clump of turf on the 15th tee and then proceeded to go completely underneath the ball, popped it up in the air and down the bank to finish just short of on the 14th green.  When Targe offered to pay for Allan’s drink, Allan politely refused on the grounds that he had put on such a display of crap golf that it should be he who was shouting.  ‘Nuff said.

The Annual Challenge at Shepparton is coming up in a few weeks and preparations are well under control in Gordon’s hands.  The Committee discussed the question of allocating Championship points and handicapping of those participating in the Annual Challenge.  It was decided that the decision to do so would stand but that there would also be a Club competition for those playing at Ivanhoe, provided that the requirement of a minimum of six players was met.  This will mean that there is potential for two lots of Championship points to be allocated if more than six members play at Ivanhoe.

Results for Saturday, 29 July 2017
1st John Quinlan(35) 2nd Harry Boughen(34) 3rd Bill Eastoe(33) 3rd Jason Hopkins(33) 4th Ryan Porker(32) 5th Matt Nicholls(31) 5th Stephen O’Sullivan(31)

Seniors Results: 1st Harry Boughen (34) 2nd Bill Eastoe (33) 3rd Gordon Hill (29)

Nearest the Pin Results: ProPin No 1 12th Jackpot ProPin No 2 18th Jackpot BallPin 4th Targe Mifsud

Blighty obviously fancied his chances so he begged and pleaded and promised all sorts of good things to be allowed to come and play.  A few others either didn’t like their chances or didn’t put up a good enough argument and so there were 19 members out to play, either for the love of the game or because they could feel a good round coming on and figured they had a chance of featuring, one way or another.  The weather bureau was kind and turned the thermostat up just a smidgen but they forgot about the wind machine and the brisk nor-wester helped to up the wind chill factor and, if you can believe some of the members, it downed the scoring factor.

The man who was able to put the wind right behind him, in a scoring sense at least, was Dale who reveled in the conditions and put together a pair of very consistent nines to make a scorecard of 41 points for the day.  That, plus his 36 points last week, was more than enough to see off all comers with the all-up total of 77 points.  You could almost say that daylight filled second place.

However, daylight has not paid his Club sub and so is not eligible for the event.  Noodles has paid his Club sub and, with a bit of a turn around in form from last week he wasn’t too far behind Dale on the card today.  Last week’s 30 points and today’s 38 points put him into second place a mere nine points behind the winner.  But, with not too much damage to the handicap and the double points, Noodles is now within sniffing distance of the lead in the Championship.  And if anybody knows what it is like to be within sniffing distance it would have to be Noodles.

In third place, we have a bit of a quadrella that came in just a point behind Noodles and all would have agreed that they could easily have made just that couple of extra points.  But, what will be will be, and Harry, JohnQ, Brendon and Keith will just have to be happy with their lot.  JohnQ has, somehow, even he doesn’t know why, changed the shape of his tee shots from a fade/slice to a draw/hook.  Sometimes it helps and sometimes it hinders.  A virtuallly unplayable on the 17th did not help the cause.  Brendon duck hooked one into the long rough beside the 16th and managed to pull off a fairly respectable exit.  Harry had some problems with his sciatic nerve early on and a wince off the tee on the 1st resulted in a draughtie.  And Keith just never really hit his straps and couldn’t repeat his back nine performance from last week.  Harry and Keith headed the field in the Seniors and would be pretty pleased with that.

Blighty’s faith in his chances was only slightly misplaced and although today’s round was not all that spectacular, it was enough for him to hold on for the fourth placing.  Damo thought he had Harry on toast after the front nine and while he improved on the way home, Harry improved more leaving Damo to settle for fifth place.  A putt missed from about 250mm did not help the cause at all and there were a few other slightly longer ones that missed the mark including another gettable one for eagle on the 17th.  That’s two weeks in a row!  The birdie was easy and that helped to boost the teams effort to a total of 8.  Not the greatest tally in the world.  Maybe it was the wind.

The BallPin was set for the 12th today and it was up to Targe to get his name on the marker and collect himself a ball.  Michael was a little bit bitter about being done out of a ProPin recently and so when he got to put his name on the card at the 15th for his 1.53m spot he let it be known, in no uncertain terms, that he would be ‘not happy, Jan’ if anybody, but JQ in particular, got inside that mark.  Our old mate Jack was up to his tricks again on the 18th where the tee was well back and the pin was on the top shelf.  A good reason to come along next week if only to have a go at the Jackpot ProPin although there will be points and handicap adjustments as well.

Harry was not alone on the draughtie front today though he does owe his mates through being as busy as a one-armed paper-hanger sorting out the scores and the notes and the presentation pictures, money, etc etc.  Jason managed to not reach the red markers on the 15th.  Ed could have been a bit lucky when one of his tee shots actually hit one of said red markers.  Reports have it that the marker actually broke as a result.  Ed does tend to be a big hitter.  But that doesn’t go close to one event today by someone, not in our merry band.  A group teeing off from the 6th tee, which was well back, struck a low flying ball that hit the edge of the ‘tombstone’ and flew back over their heads and finished by the toilet block on the sports oval.  Not something you would see every day!

Matt must have had to get up early to get here from the Basin or there-abouts.  He was obviously a bit out of it when he left his phone on the seat of his buggy from where it fell off and Allan had to motor back to recover it for him.  That wouldn’t have been so bad, but he managed to repeat the performance.  To lose you phone once could be considered bad luck, to lose it twice is downright careless.  And, as for Allan, he was tootling along on Thunderbird II, minding his own business when, suddenly, it crashed, but didn’t burn, and Allan was unceremoniously deposited on the ground in the middle of the fairway.  And, no, he hadn’t been drinking.

In an endeavour to encourage people to use the new path up from the 13th green, the management have installed a little barrier consisting of pegs and safety tape and put up a sign saying to use the path.  Now, Chrispy does carry his bag and didn’t feel the need to obey either the sign or the tape though he probably wouldn’t dare do a similar thing at work.  His effort to ‘jump’ the tape caused him to trip and he ended up on the ground, a tangle of arms, legs, bag and clubs.  Maybe he’s not as young and as spritely as he thinks he is and maybe he will know better next time.

Results for Saturday, 22 July 2017
1st Dale Webb(36, 41, 77) 2nd Stephen Butterfield(30, 38, 68) 3rd Harry Boughen(35, 32, 67) 3rd John Quinlan(34, 33, 67) 3rd Brendon Mitchell(35, 32, 67) 3rd Keith Delzoppo(39, 28, 67) 4th Andrew Blight(38, 28, 66) 5th Damien Lee(34, 31, 65)

Seniors Results:  1st Harry Boughen (32,35,67) 1st Keith Delzoppo (28,39,67) 2nd Andrew Blight (38,28,66) 3rd Craig Cameron (27,36,63)

Nearest the Pin Results: ProPin No 1 15th Michael Gourlay ProPin No 2 18th Jackpot BallPin 12th Targe Mifsud