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The Club rules! OK? On 06 March 2021.

The Beast is wild.
Bloody Club rules….

Maybe it was the long week-end and everybody was in Moomba party mood. There had been a thought that numbers might be down as everybody headed out of town to catch the last of the summer rays before the weather really slips into autumn mode. But no, we ended up with 22 members and three guests, but, if Chrispy had any hair before the event, he almost certainly had precious little after the event. We started out with five groups, blew out to eight and finished up with seven due to all sorts of late regos (and late withdrawals – if it even was a registration in the first place). As my wise old Mum used to say – circumstances alter cases like broken noses alter faces. But, can we please stick by the rules and register before the deadline. If you are unavoidably late we will try to accommodate you, but there are no guarantees and if you have any special requests – matchplays, early marks etc please also let the TM know directly.

Now, down to the nitty gritty. Today was obviously Bill’s day. Or not! You see, there is the little matter of a qualification requirement for Medals and Majors and, unfortunately, the Beast did not qualify to win the Medal despite a fabulous round that was topped off by a one under back nine for 72 off the stick and a net score of 62. The drive from the 13th tee was not what you would call great, taking full advantage of the run available at the moment to skitter out to between 130 to 150m. The second, on the other hand was quite brilliant and finished on the green some 6m from the hole. From there, the putt rattled in for the birdie. Need more be said?

Watson here?
You don’t say, Sherlock….

That left it for mango-nut man Ken to put in one of his better rounds for a little while for a net score of 66 to take out the second points and to collect the March Monthly Medal. The official photographer is hanging his head in shame while admitting that he still does not have a picture of the real Watson. Must have been the excitement of the holiday weekend and the anticipation of the AGM that fuzzed his brain again. Ken’s card was very consistent for the most part and if it had not been for a couple of triples on the home run and a quadruple on the fifth he could easily have challenged for the top spot.

Harry was pretty pleased to grab a par on the 2nd hole from the tees back on the black blocks. Given that two fairway shots were not particularly well hit to finish just short of the green gives some measure of the amount of run available and the chip in was the icing on the cake. And, what is there to say about Old Reliable, other than that he was just as reliable again to break his handicap, yet again, albeit by just the single stroke with a net 67, to finish alongside Harry in third place.

A veritable flock of finishers ended up on everybody’s favourite number, 69. MattA started off looking as if he was going to fill his card with scores of five per hole. An unfortunate brain fade on the 14th more than undid the good work that had prevailed until then. Trevor owned up to having had a lesson with the Pro during the week who made a bit of a tweak to the grip. The change to shots from the tee was nothing short of transformative and if the flat stick had not let him down on occasion, who knows what the result might have been. As far as is known, Bob did not mortally wound anybody with his buggy today. Just a couple of holes outside the handicap limits made the difference. CJ started the day with a cloud over his head. The groups had done his head in and Carolyn was going to do the same if he wasn’t home early. If he plays his cards right maybe his score will play out tonight as well. And rounding out the point gatherers today we had those two ‘guns’, Bren and Bren with a net score of 71.

When the call was made for the first BallPin to be on the 7th on Medal day there were one or two raised eyebrows. But, lo and behold, the white markers were well forward on the tee-box and the distance should not have too far out of reach for everybody. SOS put in a fine effort to get his name on the chit but, unfortunately, he was squeezed out by Anthony who struck it lucky on his first day with us, and he will have a ball to collect when he comes along next to put in his second handicap card. He went close to repeating the performance for the second BallPin on the 18th, but the ultimate winner was Stef. The double Jackpot for the ProPin on the 15th almost went around for the triple. Stef tried to crib a metre on his measurement and asked, do we really have to put the marker in, all to no avail because, in the next (last) group, Craig knocked him off on both counts with a fine shot to 1.71m. Noodles was probably wishing that the money could have been on the 12th where he put his drive to about 100mm from the hole which gave him double joy because it was inside Porks’ shot which had finished about 500mm away. Noodles got the birdie and helped us to 13 for the day, but Porks was not so ‘lucky’ and left his just a little short.

Chris James played his second handicap card today, and he has reason to celebrate during the week as the Birthday Birdie flutters by to wish him well. The BB will also be paying a visit to Mark Minney as well. Stef continued his good behaviour on the course today while his Dad, Jim, tried hard not to try to emulate the big hitting style of the off-spring. Jim also has his second card and should soon join us in competition.

There were a couple of less than spectacular shots taken from the first tee today. Prezo, Rob, and his group were noticed searching around in the grass and shrubs at the front of the first tee box. Shortly after, it was JQ’s turn after he sconed the ball something fierce and it buried itself deeply into the thicket of bushes that has developed along the left hand side. As the day progressed JQ seemed to be able to hit a tree dead centre from greater and greater range. Fortunately, he seemed to have the luck to finish ‘not unfavourably’ as a result. Rob’s woes did not abate much until the last when he managed a par which, hopefully, should bring him back again. Noodles had some sort of a bee in his bonnet about flagpoles and he was giving Blighty a hard time about it on the first tee. Damo was desperately hoping that the banter did not continue the whole round.

The AGM was held in the Clubhouse function room after the round. The President (Rob) reported on the success of the year despite the COVID disruptions and expressed his hope for a smoother run this year. Damo supported Rob’s comments and thanked the Committee for their efforts in dealing with the restrictions and program changes. Despite the curtailed program, the Club’s financial position is sound with significant money in the bank but with some major outlays for VGL and the Annual Challenge weekend to be met. Our Secretary, Blighty, stood down from the position, and Old Reliable, Craig, was elected to take his place. The rest of the Committee is effectively unchanged, although SOS has offered to help out with the role of Assistant Tee Marshal. It was noted that some members have still not paid their subscription for this year (2021) and the Committee will be following up if they are not paid forthwith.

Results for Saturday, 06 March 2021
1st Bill Eastoe(62) 2nd Ken Watson(66) 3rd Harry Boughen(67) 3rd Craig Cameron(67) 4th Matthew Aforozis(69) 4th Trevor Jackson(69) 4th Bob McDonald(69) 4th Chris Priems(69) 5th Brendon Mitchell(71) 5th Brent Rowley(71)

Seniors Results: 1st Bill Eastoe (62) 2nd Ken Watson (66) 3rd Craig Cameron (67) 3rd Harry Boughen (67)

Nearest the Pin Results: ProPin – 15th Craig Cameron BallPin No 1 – 7th Anthony Browne BallPin No 2 – 18th Stefan Belevski

There were no Pork Pies on 27 February 2021.

Porks is all thumbs (up)!
Some days are diamonds, some days are pearlers!

As the meteorological summer comes to an end, you could be forgiven for thinking that the ‘real’ autumn had already arrived. Or, as they said when Darwin was being bombed – there’s a little nip in the air! But that is probably not the reason that we only had fourteen members line up and, thanks to Stef bringing along his Dad, Jim, we had fifteen players for a nice round five groups of three. The generally dry conditions means that there is a certain amount of run to be had, and a certain ‘reliable’ member doesn’t seem to fancy himself as a mud runner. He wasn’t quite as reliable today and was spotted straying from his designated fairway on at least one occasion. Rumour has it that there was some good form on display at the Punter’s Club weekend, and it seems that the extra training at Moonah and St Andrew’s Beach carried over to this weekend.

Personal Bests don’t turn up all that often, particularly when you have been playing the game for a while. Today was one of those days when Porks went close to joining that exalted group who have equalled or bettered the par for the course. Reports have it that he ‘left a few’ out there and could/should have done better than his 69 off the stick for a very handy 42 points.

Other than running Harry down with his cart at the tee-marshal’s counter, Bob could do little wrong today, particularly on the front nine where the putter was working a treat to bring him in with a ‘out’ score of 23 points. The nice round eighteen on the back was plenty to grab a share of second place. Pepsi was looking around for a cage there were so many birdies rolling in. There were five in all, and three of them were on holes that he had a stroke for a nice collection of four pointers. On the second, he went within a michael-hair of scoring an eagle when his second ran across the edge of the hole and finished less than half a metre past. With a gash and three one-pointers, who knows what the score might have been.

MattH turned up looking a bit scruffy this morning, but that was not a carry-over from last weekend. Though it does seem that a trip down to Bairnsdale last Monday made him pleased that he didn’t have to drive. Matt can’t decide whether to get a haircut or hope that the mullet makes a comeback before the powers-that-be notice. It didn’t seem to affect his golf though, but perhaps the cap kept it out of his eyes. His 38 points was matched by CJ and Ken who both had their fair share of ‘could have been better’. That particularly applies to Ken’s tee shot on the 10th that only barely made it past the red markers. It should be pointed out that the reds were only about 300mm in front of the blues.

Damo reckons he will be pleased to see more of Stef’s Dad, who put in his first card today, by the way, because he reckons that he has never seen Stef so well behaved. This obviously had a beneficial effect and Damo was able to protect his handicap nicely with a score-line of 36 points. Targe is a bit upset about the rules for the duck season this year, and he is going to ask for a refund on his shooters licence. Good luck with that! He still managed to tie it up with Damo and do his handicap no harm.

Thanks to Bob, Harry is nursing a nicely bruised ankle, and Stef and Noodles are getting a point after Bob and his marker missed his last double stroke hole (again). So, overall some very good scoring and some nicely adjusted handicaps as a result.

The first BallPin was on the 4th, and Gordo was the one to collect a pill for a very nice shot that finished not too far away. Gordo was noticed moping around on the 10th tee and saying that he felt like the Tin Man from The Wizard of Oz as he had lost his (golf) heart, and his favourite light blue tee. It made his day when Harry presented it (the light blue tee, not his heart) to him after the round. There was a bit of an interloper for the BallPin on the 18th, but Stef came to the rescue and got one of our members names on the chit. The Jackpot ProPin on the 15th proved elusive and there will be a Double Jackpot next week. The birdie count for the day was a pretty impressive 16, so we really did need a cage.

The Matchplay draw for seeding was done after the match with the 21 members who had registered drawn out of the hat (well a little plastic tub at any rate). The balance of the positions were filled by a ‘vote’ of members for those who they ‘felt sure’ would play. The table is up on the web-site under the Competitions tab. The person on the top of the draw is responsible for arranging the match and reporting the result. If both members are present the match must be played. The first round must be completed on or before 03 April.

Next Saturday will be the Annual General Meeting of the Club. All Committee positions will be spilled and anybody is eligible to nominate for a role provided that they are financial members. There are still a few subs for the current year outstanding. Can these be paid as soon as possible. You should know who you are. Any Committee members who are planning to retire should endeavour to find a replacement.

Results for Saturday, 27 February 2021
1st Ryan Porker(42) 2nd Bob McDonald(41) 2nd Andrew Petricola(41) 3rd Matt Hunt(38) 3rd Chris Priems(38) 3rd Ken Watson(38) 4th Damien Lee(36) 4th Targe Mifsud(36) 5th Stefan Belevski(35) 5th Stephen Butterfield(35)

Seniors Results: 1st Bob McDonald (41) 2nd Chris Priems (38) 2nd Ken Watson (38) 3rd Targe Mifsud (36)

Nearest the Pin Results: ProPin 15th Jackpot BallPin No 1 4th Gordon Hill BallPin No 2 18th Stefan Belevski


No time to Moonah round on 20 February 2021.

Catch me if you can…

Fortunately, the snap shutdown finished right on schedule, and so, it was possible for our members to play golf. Or at least some reasonable facsimile thereof. There were a whole bundle of them set off for parts unknown for a weekend of who knows what frivolity interspersed with a couple of rounds of whack the white ball. There is also a chance that there was a bit of punting went on, given that they were all members of the Punter’s Club. That left eight members and one guest to fight it out for the Championship points that were on offer, because there were more than the minimum number turning up on the tee.

Old Reliable was at it again and rattling off the plus scores with a reasonable degree of regularity. There might have been a bit of an oil-leak in the middle of the front nine, but the negative results on the last two holes does raise questions as to whether there was a bit of handicap protection going on. As a result, the squared nine left just the single plus surviving to give the points in both sides of the Championship to Craig, and very clearly flagging the fact that he is going to be the one to catch this year.

Bob is eligible for two strokes on eight of the front nine holes. When he, and his marker, scored them, it seems that they either miscalculated or forgot the extra stroke on two occasions. As a result, Bob is the proud holder of second place for the day. This had the unfortunate result of demoting MattA and Targe into a share of third place with their score of minus 2.

SOS did not start off too well with minus scores on five of the first six holes. He did settle down a bit and finished that back nine just one behind the eight-ball to take out fourth place on minus 5. Trevor rounded out the five with a minus six to collect his first Championship point for the year. Watch out everyone, Trev is on the move!

We also welcomed along for his first card round, Chris James. It was a bit unfortunate that the crowd was so small, but I am sure that there will be bigger fields to make Chris welcome to our select little group as he works towards his Club handicap and joining the competition.

The first BallPin was on the 12th and Craig took home the bacon, so to speak. The second BallPin was on the 18th, and maybe the winner would not be taking home the bacon because the name on the chit was young Zimmer. The ProPin was set on the 15th and there was no name on the chit, so there will be a Jackpot there for next week. Craig did get his birdie on the 12th which was just one of the total of four that the field was able to accumulate on the day.

We now have 21 names on the register for the Matchplay and the draw for seedings will be made after the round this week. At this rate there will be a swag of byes in the first round. Be warned, you have until Friday evening to add your name to the register. No register, no play. Competition starts the following week on 06 March.

Also, don’t forget that the AGM will be held the following week on 06 March. Completed Nomination Forms for Committee should be submitted before the meeting so not much time left for that little job either.

Results for Saturday, 20 February 2021
1st Craig Cameron(+1) 2nd Bob McDonald(-1) 3rd Matthew Aforozis(-2) 3rd Targe Mifsud(-2) 4th Stephen O’Sullivan(-5) 5th Trevor Jackson(-6)

Seniors Results: 1st Craig Cameron (+1) 2nd Bob McDonald (-1) 3rd Targe Mifsud (-2)

Nearest the Pin Results: ProPin 15th Jackpot BallPin No 1 12th Craig Cameron BallPin No 2 18th Kazim Akdag

As dead as a door-nail on 13 February 2021

It got us again!
There was no movement at the station, for the word had passed around
That the COVID, we regret, had got away,
And had joined the wild bush virus - it was fast to get around,
Epi-demi-ologists joined the fray.
....
With apologies to The Banjo.

Unfortunately, we were bitten on the bum again, and we were barred from the green, green fields of Ivanhoe once more. Hopefully, we will be able to get back into it next week, so could every body who wants a game at Ivanhoe, if it is possible, please register as normal. We really do need to know numbers because of the Punter’s Club taking a fair bunch away, and we have to reduce our booking. Also, we need at least six for there to be a competition.

At the moment we have 18 people who have put their names down for the Matchplay. We can run with that number, but there are 32 places available, and we would hate to have people coming whinging that they haven’t been seeded after the draw is done. That will occur after play on the 27th, so don’t procrastinate too much longer. Just so it is clear, the draw will be for seeds 1 to 32. Opponents will be determined by a standard draw table with 1 v 32 etc.