Yearly Archives: 2021

We’re baaaccckk! Well, at least sixteen of us are. The rain (what rain?) was a bit too much for some, and at least one has to cool his heels in home quarantine for a little while yet. But those that did make it to the tee had an enjoyable enough time, even though it was a little damp under-foot in a few places around the course. A couple of the greens had some visible water, but the pin positions seem to have been reasonably well selected and not too many putts were interfered with. The water birds seemed to be pretty happy with the refilled ponds about the place and the first of the clutches have hatched, and the young ones are out and about, learning about the big wide world. There was a fair galaxy of ibis out on the 13th and not a bin in sight. Keith had been past at the time, and the flock seemed very content with their lot.

There is no secret about the fact that Michael has been having a bit of a -/hate relationship with his putters since the resumption of play. He obviously managed to sweet talk the other half during the week because he turned up brandishing a brand-new Cleveland today. Things got off to a good start with a 3m dolly on the first and a 15m monster for birdie on the 5th pretty much sealed the deal and not even a hormonal teenager could be more dewy-eyed over their first love affair. He claims that this is no flash in the pan and is the start of a long term commitment. Gordon has gone all scientific over the break and chose to leave his two-ball putter at home in favour of an old reliable that was going to be better suited for the course conditions today. Whether this was the deciding factor or not, Gordo was able to match Michael on the scorecard and take a share of first place in our first competition in quite a little while.

ChrisJ started out very steadily and did not put too many feet wrong on the front nine, and he looked to be heading for a pretty impressive score at the end of the day. Unfortunately, a few slightly errant shots took their toll on the back nine, and he was only able to manage a final tally of 33 points. However, that was more than enough to fill second place, but it could easily have been so much more. Blighty had a round of ups and downs. Not so much in the golfing sense, but in the scoring sense. Having taken about thirteen holes to warm up, AB put the pedal to the metal and streamed home to finish with 32 points. Harry took about six holes to get his swing back into gear, and he really gave the scorecard a fair kick in the butt with a birdie on the 7th. This was one of seven that we scored for the day, and it helped to bring his total to 32 to finish alongside Blighty in third place.

At one stage, Pepsi was heard admonishing himself for doing something ‘stupid’, and it obviously wasn’t at the 7th where he gathered a four pointer for his birdie. Not a peep was heard from JQ, who possibly had important Punter’s Club business to deal with. Gordo certainly seemed to be taking orders from afar as the morning’s proceedings were winding up. Thirty-one points got a share of fourth place for Peps and John. Anthony was ‘in the points’ again this week, though just down the table a bit. Maybe it was the strain of the extra nine holes that took the shine off. Brendon had some adventures on the way to his score today. To all intents and purposes, he should have had a draughtie on the 13th when his drive travelled a mere 3m. Luckily, the red markers were less than a metre in front of the blue. The drive on the 18th was not a lot better, but he put the second to 3m and sank the putt for his par. SOS was another who scrambled a bit to get himself to 29 points to share the last placing with Anthony and Brendon. There is no truth to the rumour that they were going to hand the point back because of embarrassment about the score line.

The temporary tee-marshall did not nominate the NTP holes and the markers were collected by the first group at half-time. The betting was that the ProPin would be on the hole that one of them got near enough to qualify. This obviously did not happen on the 12th, and so, it was a BallPin. There was quite a contest involved. Not so much for who could get closest to the pin, but for who could put the ‘smartest’ remark on the card. Brendon seems to have won the ball, if not the prize for literature. The failure to ‘win’ the money on the 12th meant that the ProPin had to be on the 15th, and, wouldn’t you know it, nobody did get on the green close enough to take it out. Gordon feels hard done by, as he was within the distance, but about 50mm off the green. The 18th green, for the second BallPin also proved ‘difficult’, and Anthony was able to take it out with his shot onto the lower deck to the pin’s upper deck.

A big shout out to Quarantine Chris, who will have to satisfy himself with a quiet night at home to celebrate his upcoming landmark. The Birthday Birdie feels sure he will find some way to make a night of it.

Porks seemed a bit down in the mouth today, and he asked if he could have a new handicap. As promised, he does have a new handicap, exactly 0.2 higher than his old one. Keith is under orders to use a cart from now on, so, if anybody would like to share, I am sure Keith would appreciate the company. The change from shanks pony didn’t seem to have helped much today and Keith could only report sad stories. Ben did manage a draughtie today on the 3rd, and it has people wondering whether it was some sort of a record for being about 60m short of the red markers. Ben’s electric buggy, affectionately known as Belvedere, seems to have a mind of its own as it headed off from the 8th green in the general direction of the Yarra. It started to move again on the 10th tee. It’s only going down hill, says Ben. Like your game, quipped Harry. Whereupon Ben parred the next four holes. On the 14th, his 3 wood ran across the hole to finish just off the green. The eagle putt was just a bit offline, and the birdie was a lay down misere. We won’t mention what happened on the next two holes.

Targe has been getting in a bit of practice in recent weeks even though he could not make it to Ivanhoe. He started off in reasonable form, but, whether it was the extra nine holes, that form started to fade a bit on the back nine. His tee shot on the 14th, you would have to say, struggled a bit, as it headed down the path and into the gully alongside the fairway. In a Maltese sort of way, it was lucky not to be ‘lost’ when it finished teetering on the edge of the drain hole. Targe insisted on taking a drop as he was not confident of playing as it lies. Funny that!

Right at the pointy end of the year, and a lot to get done. There is still some life left in the Championship, so it could end being quite exciting, despite the vicissitudes of the past year. One semi-final in the Matchplay to go, and that to be followed by the Final and play-off. Two Monthly medals and the Fred Kitson during November, including the start of the Stroke Play Championship. The Calcutta will also be sold on 27th. A registration page will go up shortly for the Calcutta so that we do not sell horses that do not want to be included.

Results for Saturday, 23 October 2021
1st Michael Gourlay (34) 1st Gordon Hill (34) 2nd Chris James (33) 3rd Andrew Blight (32) 3rd Harry Boughen (32) 4th Andrew Petricola (31) 4th John Quinlan (31) 5th Anthony Browne (29) 5th Brendon Mitchell (29) 5th Stephen O’Sullivan (29)

Seniors Results: 1st Gordon Hill (34) 1st Michael Gourlay (34) 2nd Andrew Blight (32) 2nd Harry Boughen (32) 3rd Craig Cameron (28)

Nearest the Pin Results: ProPin – 15th Jackpot BallPin No 1 – 12th Brendon Mitchell BallPin No 2 – 18th Anthony Browne

Who’d have thought that so many people would be put off by the prospect of a bit of rain? The keen beans were there bright and early, confident in the fact that there was little showing on the radar. A couple of arrivals were slightly more tentative and thought of going home when their drawn opponent was not going to show. But, the prospect of a hit and giggle, admittedly with the prospect of getting wet feet, at least, persuaded them to stay. As there were six in attendance, the thought of declaring it a full competition and awarding points did cross a mind or two, but, in the end, it was decided that even the ProPin was not worth the effort. So, a hit and giggle, it was.

As it turned out, there was absolutely no rain until just after the last group finished, when a short sharp shower sent people scurrying to their cars. As a result, tall tales but true are a bit thin on the ground. Old Reliable started off in his usual style from the first, but the greens proved to be a bit tricky for him, with the speed hard to judge, particularly when moisture seemed to be particularly ineffective in slowing the ball. Craig and his partner in crime, Keith, decided not to keep a tally and so there is no record of how good (or bad) it really was. Keith, apparently, very narrowly missed out on a draughtie when one tee shot got past the red markers by the narrowest of margins.

The handicapper is going to have to keep a very close eye on Anthony as he topped the table yet again with a very creditable tally of 19 points. It took him a couple of holes to get his eye in, but from there on he didn’t look back. ChrisJ also took a while to get his MoJo going, with a triple of triples to start the round. From then on, he pretty much matched it with Anthony to finish with 15 points.

Michael also started off rather poorly and had used pretty much twice his handicap on the first three holes. The flat stick was his particular downfall, and it looks as if another putter will be destined for the scrap-heap before too much longer. Unfortunately, he will have to be nice to the wife if this keeps up, as his supply of spare putters is dwindling fast. He did come back to a bit of form over the last three holes, but the birdies did elude him. Harry was telling Michael of some technical ‘gems’ that he has picked up over recent months. Putting one of these into practice for his second shot on the 9th, the ball was a bit to the right and bounced on the path, and the thinking was that it probably finished in the shrubbery to the right. The search was in vain and a two shot penalty was taken for lost ball. After sinking the putt for a six, as H walked off the green to the path, what should be lying just off the bitumen but his original ball pin high or better. The ‘gem’ obviously worked!

The latest word from management is that they are still hopeful that we will be back to 18 holes next week, but there is nothing definite yet. There is also something of a chance that the travel limit will be extended to 25km by then as well. As soon as we know something definite, we will advise and get back to the calendar of events. At this stage, the Fred Kitson has been rescheduled for November 13 and 20 as it would be a bit unfair to pull it on next week if we are allowed. So, November is going to be a big month to finish off the competition year.

Results for Saturday, 16 October 2021
No Competition due to COVID

There was a fair chance that some of the kinks might have been straightened out after the creaking and groaning that pervaded the course last week. The fine weather brought out a few of the fair weather golfers who don’t seem to be able to Stan the thought of getting a bit damp. The fairways were a beautiful shade of green and the greens were, well, green. Enough sun to warm the bones as the morning progressed, and, so, the eighteen members who made it to the tee could have little to complain about as far as the conditions for play went. The only thing to blame, then, was either bad luck, bad decisions or lack of talent (or maybe even all three!).

JQ obviously needed the sun to warm up as the first five holes were a bit erratic, to say the least. Although, there were signs of things to come on a couple of occasions. Then, like a frilled-neck lizard warmed by the sun, he frilled up, caught a following wind and breezed home with three pars in the last four holes to present with a respectable total of 18 points to take the top spot for the day.

Old Reliable was also a lot more reliable this week, and he was able to significantly improve on his performance to increase his score by almost 50% to end up on 17 points. If it hadn’t been for three holes, the improvement could have been an almost doubling of last week’s effort. Anthony went some way to proving that last week was no fluke by coming in at third place. While the score was down a bit from the heady heights, it was good enough to be there or thereabouts. CJ had a bit of a weight on his shoulders today. One pocket of his carry bag was filled with shrapnel from the comp fees and another was filled with tees that somebody generously ‘donated’ to the cause. He was a bit concerned that it might have become lighter during the round, and that the reason for that was that the cash had been leaking out. Despite all this CJ was able to fill 4th place with his score of 15 points.

There were a swag of players to round out the podium in the 5th spot this week. SOS was planning to drive the green on the 9th, and might have succeeded if he had made proper contact with the ball. As it was, he didn’t make it past the red markers, and so he qualified for one of the draughties of the day. Rod didn’t get off to much of a start with gashes on the first two holes. A couple of three pointers perked him up no end and a string of doubles followed to bring him to 14 points to share the spot. Porks started off with a birdie, but then seemed to talk himself into a bit of a slump, and he never really did get a flow of points going. Dale was also a bit erratic in the early stages, but he did settle down to finish on fourteen as well.

There were two other birdies today. Michael managed one on the 3rd which, if you believe the stories, must have been one of the few times that the putter worked well for him today. As they say, a picture is worth a thousand words, so I won’t say any more. Blighty hammered one in from 150m out to within 300mm of the hole on the 6th and then tapped it in for the easiest of birdies. There were reports that he had taken as many putts on the previous hole, but there were no reports on the performance of his wedges.

ChrisJ stood up on the 4th tee and proclaimed that he had never hit that green before. Whether he was inspired when told that there was money to be had, he proceeded to put it on the green within a couple of metres past the hole. In the process, he saved us from having to pay out to JQ two weeks in a row.

Smash has himself a fancy new electric buggy, and he must be supremely confident about the range of his remote controller as the buggy was spotted trundling along some 150m ahead of the controller. The tee on the 2nd was well back on the bank today, and that obviously put the frights into Ken, who didn’t quite make as far as the reds, and thus he qualified for the second draughtie of the day. Keith must have been blinded by the bright lights of television stardom as the scoring did not really get going until he brought home almost half of his total with a three pointer on the 7th. But, don’t be surprised if he comes back with a vengeance next time.

Another nine hole social round next week. This means that the Fred Kitson will be postponed for the time being. Discussions with management suggest that there is some chance that we will be back to 18 holes the following week. As soon as we know, we will let you know. Hopefully, the 15k limit will also be relaxed sooner rather than later so that we can get back to some sort of normality and some sort of a level playing field for all.

Results for Saturday, 09 October 2021

1st John Quinlan (18) 2nd Craig Cameron (17) 3rd Anthony Browne (16) 4th Chris Priems (15) 5th Stephen O’Sullivan (14) 5th Rod Grant (14) 5th Ryan Porker (14) 5th Dale Webb (14)

Nearest the Pin Results: ProPin – 4th Chris James

Talk about the farm gate needing a touch of grease. You could pretty much hear the creaking and groaning above the noise of the rapids in the Yarra flowing by the course. There was a certain amount of muttering about how teed off you would be if you were playing a blinder and had to finish after nine. But, at the end of the day, all twelve members who made it to the tees were happy to be out and about and able to swing a club once more. There were a few who registered and decided that they didn’t want to take on the weather gods, but their fears were unfounded, and the weather was pretty much fine, with only a bit of a mist setting in just as the last groups wended their way along the ninth.

So, just how rusty were the farm gates? You could have been forgiven for thinking that a couple of members hadn’t had a single day off. Anthony must have been soaking up all of the YouTube coaching sessions that he has been watching because he started off well, and never really faltered. Nothing under 2 points on any hole, and a four for his birdie (the only one for the day) on the 4th went a long way to putting him at the head of the pack with 20 points as the tally. The handicapper is looking closely at the system to see if something can be done about it (just joking!). Well done, Anthony.

CJ was also very consistent, although he did produce a couple of singletons on his way to a total of 17 of the best. Not sure whether it was Damo’s lessons from way back, but he managed to stay on the straight and narrow and was ‘putting like a demon’ according to one reliable source. Even CJ agreed that from 3m or less he could not miss. Keep that thought in mind for when we get back to ‘real’ golf, Chrispy.

Now we enter the realms of the not-so-bad. There were a swag of people who came in with 16 points. JQ was pretty pleased with his hand, and he was even more pleased when it was announced that he had taken out the ProPin on the 4th. Bob fronted up after the ninth pushing a cart and carrying a golf bag. Not far behind was Porks, pushing Bob’s electric machine which had appeared to give up the ghost coming up the last hill. After a certain amount of poking and prodding, the beast suddenly came to life again and the gathering scattered for fear of the consequences. Despite these vicissitudes, Bob also managed to score 16 points. Bob denies that the breakdown was a plot to wear Ryan out so that he could be beaten on the last hole, for Ryan also scored 16 points. Porks was claiming to have parred the first six holes before falling into a bit of a hole, but in actual fact, he only parred five of the first six. But let’s not let the facts get in the way of a good story!

Another group came in with 15 points to share what would have been fourth place. ChrisJ, Michael and Pepsi were the ones to share the honour. Michael seems to be quite convinced that he is destined to come in fourth in perpetuity. The last of the ‘placings’ was filled by Harry and Craig, who both had their moments (and failures) to scramble to 11 points.

Blighty was heard proclaiming that he had gotten a birdie on his first round out, but he had to wait until the 4th. Which seemed a bit odd, as he was playing the second at the time. However, he wasn’t being prescient, he had actually played a round yesterday. Today’s problems were caused by his wedge play. The 54 degree was putting the ball to the back of the green, while the 56 was catching in the grass and leaving it way short. Maybe the sand iron would have been a better choice. Whitey, on the other hand, just claimed that he could do nothing right all day as he took a drop off the path behind the 8th green.

Adam did not make it to the course today, but that might be because he was celebrating a milestone that elicited a call from the Birthday Birdie.

Unless, there is a sudden change to the Health Advice, next week will be another nine hole social round with ProPin and BallRun. Because of the uncertainties about potential ruling changes and heavy advance bookings, it is now quite unlikely that we will be able to negotiate tee times on the back nine, and so it will be front nine again. The course management hold out hopes that the rules will be relaxed sooner rather than later. With the end of the competition year looming fast, if restrictions do carry on, the Fred Kitson will be postponed, possibly until 13 and 20 November, but hopefully the dust will settle, and it can be played as scheduled on 16 and 23 October.

Results for Saturday, 02 October 2021

1st Anthony Browne (20) 2nd Chris Priems (17) 3rd John Quinlan (16) 3rd Bob McDonald (16) 3rd Ryan Porker (16) 4th Chris James (15) 4th Michael Gourlay (15) 4th Andrew Petricola (15) 5th Harry Boughen (11) 5th Craig Cameron (11)

Nearest the Pin Results: ProPin – 4th John Quinlan