Yearly Archives: 2022

Maaagnificent, as Rex Hunt was wont to say. What more to say about the weather and conditions at our favourite track. Though Pepsi might have had a different track entirely in mind as he lined up with thirteen others to take on the somewhat thirsty, and, occasionally, baring fairways. It was noted that a member of the groundstaff was assiduously watering the practice green mid-morning, much to the chagrin of the members of the public trying to get in their few putts before tee time. The longer run meant that there were more than a few shots to be played from unaccustomed positions, but that did not prevent more than a few impressive scores being handed in. As usual, there were a few that ‘got away’, but the most original excuse came from SOS who revealed to his group that he had just passed the big five-O. The best wishes supposedly went to his head, and he presented with gashes on the next three holes. Generous spirit that he is, he opened a tab for all to drink his health after the round, which was much appreciated by those that could hang around. Coincidentally, the tab came to sixty-nine, which created its fair share of mirth and banter, both inside and outside the clubhouse.

However, the round of the day, would have to be that put together by Bill. He started off in fine style with a birdie on the first, and completed the front nine just two over the card, and three points to the good. He could only manage a three over the card on the back nine to add another plus to the total, which was enough to grab first place with his +4. Ryan, on the other hand, managed to equal par off the stick on the front nine, and turned for home with +4 on the card. After a great pitch into the 17th green that left him within a metre of the hole, there was every chance that he would match par on the back as well. Unfortunately, the birdie putt did not fall, and neither did the par putt. As a result, the back was three over and one down, which left Ryan in second place with +3.

SOS was feeling pretty pleased with himself either side of the halfway mark as he put together five pluses on the trot. That’s when the birthday ‘celebrations’ kicked in, and he gave a fair number of them back to finally finish the round at +2 and third place. There is no truth to the rumour that he is planning to give up the Highway Patrol for Lost and Found. After Gordon found and returned one of SOS’s many recent losses, SOS promptly lost it again on the second (in plain sight, apparently). While speaking of plain sight, Gordon’s drive on the 12th was a bit right and short, and it headed back down the hill, prompting a comment that it ‘could’ have reached the penalty area. Harry and Stan had trouble understanding why the ongoing search, when the fluorescent yellow ball was lying plainly in sight well short of said penalty area. None so blind…..

Harry was a little disappointed with his front nine when none of his swatch of bogies turned into pars. The back nine was quite a different matter, except for the effect of a visit to the sand-trap on his chance to score on the 13th. The birdie on the 17th, one of the sixteen that we scored today, was seen more as a ‘wasted’ shot than a cause for celebration. Brendon, on the other hand, managed to account for four of our birdies, but punctuated his card, particularly on the back nine, with a fair collection of lost holes. In the end, he finished the round with +1, to share the fourth podium spot with Harry. And, to finish off, it wasn’t noticed at the announcements, that Dale had put his inside card into us rather than his Club card. As a result, the handicap difference meant that his club score became square to the card, and he filled the last spot by himself. CJ and Ken will have to console themselves with the Seniors point that they got instead.

The ProPin today was on the 12th. Harry paced his out, which indicated that the ball was close to the 5m limit. The tape measure proved that was the case by a mere 150mm more. Over-clubbed again! Anyway, enough of the sob stories, the good news is, that there will be a Jackpot on the hole next week. The first BallPin was on the 4th, and Dale was the one to get close enough to get his name on the chit after he managed to ease out Brendon from yet another NTP win. The BallPin on the 18th was uncontested, and probably uncontestable, after Pepsi finished very close from the first group.

Gordon had his fair share of troubles today, and he was looking for every opportunity to improve his chances. He even tried to claim relief from a ‘wood-chipped’ area in the middle of the 11th fairway because of some random spillage from the construction of the storage piles adjacent to the 13th tee. Keith managed to drop his Garmin beside the 12th green, and Stan was able to return it to him at the 15th tee. There is no evidence that Keith’s game was any better, or worse, for not having it. Dale went close to doing himself an injury when he ‘fell’ off the 7th tee. Ryan was a little distracted on the 13th green by the presence of ‘mating’ bees on his line of putt. He reckons that when he politely told them to get a room, one of them tried to attack him. The amateur entomologists among us reckon that, unless they were ‘new age’ bees, mating was a bit of an unlikely activity.

The amateur ornithologists will be interested to know that the Birthday Birdie will be out and about this week to carry some best wishes to Joe Demir. Everybody will be hoping against hope that Joe will come along next week and will emulate SOS’s generosity.

Don’t forget that time is running out for the completion of Round 1 of the Matchplay. Four matches still to play. Reminders will be sent out, but please look at the results table to see for yourself who you are. If round 2 want to play their round, they can. The turn up and play rule for round 2 will start to apply on 07 May.

Results for Saturday, 16 April 2022
1st Bill Eastoe (+4) 2nd Ryan Porker (+3) 3rd Stephen O’Sullivan (+2) 4th Harry Boughen (+1) 4th Brendon Mitchell (+1) 5th Dale Webb (□)

Seniors Results: 1st Bill Eastoe (+4) 2nd Harry Boughen (+1) 3rd Chris Priems (-1) 3rd Ken Watson (-1)

Nearest the Pin Results: ProPin – 12th Jackpot BallPin No 1 – 4th Dale Webb BallPin No 2 – 18th Andrew Petricola

Alleluia! The Priems Cup finally got some feet on the ground. Thirty-six feet to be precise. And even more, if you count Jake and Todd Miles who joined us for the entertainment, and, in Todd’s case, for someone to play along with. It seems that CJ and Rob got into his earwax, and he could very well be interested in more forays into the delights of our little coterie. The reluctance of the east coast depressions to venture beyond the Murray means that the course is still a bit thirsty in places, and some cracks are almost big enough to swallow a ball, given the correct speed and angle of attack. The day was warm and sunny, due largely to the north-easterly which did spring up later in the morning and caused some reconsideration of club selection, particularly on the last several holes of the back nine, where it was heads or tails most of the way. So, the stage was set for some exciting match ups, and some good (and not so good) golf.

First up we saw Stef come up against Mark, and, coincidentally, they also just happened to agree that this would be their first round Championship match. With a lot riding on the outcome, and not a lot of difference in handicap, the match started out looking like it could go down to the wire. Except that Stef started playing like a man possessed, and he ended up equalling par for the course at the end of the round with a very impressive tally of 42 points to take out the best card of the day. Mark tried valiantly against this onslaught, but in the end, the match wound up at the 16th, 3 and 2. There is no obvious reason why Stef was playing with a ball clearly marked with the letters CK, unless it is an obscure message of support for Ukraine.

The Beast was pitted against the Brent, and it was pretty much a stroke for stroke affair, with only one stroke difference. And, as it turned out, the one hole where the stroke was given, it was not needed as Bill had an uncharacteristic triple. It was one of the few slips, and despite Brent’s best efforts, Bill came home with 3 and 2 as the winning margin. If the next match had been a football match, the result would have been classified as the turnaround of the century. Can you believe that, at the end of the first quarter, Captain Chris was at the mercy of Captain Rob to the tune of four holes? It seems that, at this point, the coach gave the team a good tongue lashing, and they lifted and tightened up their game. Over the next two quarters, the margin was ground down point by point, and at three-quarter time, the score was all square. In the final quarter, Captain Chris put the knife into Captain Rob’s heart and polished off the match 3 and 1. There were reports of Captain Chris almost crying in the first quarter, and that there very well could have been some heavy sledging at half-time, including the use of the ‘s’ word.

As he consoled himself over a bottle or two last night, Captain Chris decided that his team was ‘unbalanced’, and he needed some more low handicappers. When a cancellation came in and Jake decided (or was told) not to play a match, Chris was not slow to steal Porks from his little brother. This turned out to be a telling move, as Ryan was able to prevail over Geoff with a score-line of 2 and 1. Although Geoff was three down at one stage, he did stage a bit of a comeback to get within a point at one stage. This was with some thanks to winning a hole with a score of eight. Harry took on Trev, who, despite being in obvious pain from a gammy knee et al, grimaced and bore it for the whole round. For nine holes, the match was pretty evenly balanced, as Harry managed to give up chances to overcome the conceded strokes. A bit of a burst around the turn, tipped the score in Harry’s favour, but, despite Trev thinking it was done and dusted about three holes earlier, the match ended at the 16th 3 and 2. At which point, Trev came alive and matched H stroke for stroke over the last two holes. Thank goodness the match was finished, says H.

Adam matched up to Stan on an equal footing as far as handicap went. Unfortunately, Stan has still not managed to extricate himself from his post-streak depression, and he struggled to match Adam, who seemed to be on a post-break high with relatively few aberrations other than a super-shank from the tee on the 12th. The match finished quite early after the 13th, 7 and 5. Craig was up against SOS, who was very pleased to get five strokes. Apparently, the ‘s’ word did not raise its ugly head, and there might have been only one lost ball to mar SOS’s game. As a result, although the match tilted a little to the SOS side early on, equilibrium was eventually restored and the game teeter-tottered along until the result depended on the outcome of the 18th hole. An easy win for Craig finished the match 1 up. Blighty started out alright and was only slightly behind Brendon at the turn. A run of six ‘horror’ holes on the trot turned a potential contest into a rout and Brendon walked away with the match 5 and 3. Last match to report was the battle of the giants, between Ken and Targe. Early on, the spoils were fairly evenly divided, but, after a while, Ken managed to get his nose in front. Although Targe fought a valiant rear-guard action, he was never really able to capitalise on any gains made, and he finally had to run up the white flag at the 15th going down 5 and 4.

This meant that TeamChris had prevailed over TeamRob to the tune of five matches to four. Now, what would have happened if he hadn’t pulled rank and pinched Porks for his own team? Stanza 2 of this year’s Priems Cup competition will be run on 17 September, so pencil the date in your diary. The aggregate scores for the two stanzas will determine which Captain gets their name first on the list. Or will honours be shared? Only time will tell.

We also had our usual (almost) nearest the pin competition. It’s hard to get good help these days. Our venerable Captain(s) were so engrossed in something that they neglected to put out the BallPin marker on the 4th. So, no contest there. The ProPin was supposed to be on the 12th, and once again, there was a prospect of no contest. But, when Jake put his shot on the 15th to 3.92m, they decided that maybe the ProPin could be on the 15th instead. Harry went close to being inside Jake, but in the end, the money stayed in his hot little hand. Jake did not make the birdie from that distance, but that was more than compensated by the four that Stef scored on our way to ten for the day. However, playing on his ‘old’ Club handicap, Jake also put in a score of 42 points, so, if he does decide to make a comeback, the handicapper might have to take a close look at these numbers. The 18th BallPin was hard to get close to, and Porks put in an early claim. Adam had other ideas, and was able to get closer than 4m to collect the ball and to stake a claim for the ProShop trophy.

The Birthday Birdie is in a bit of a flutter this week, with well-wishes to go to Rod and SOS for their up-coming big days.

Results for Saturday, 09 April 2022
1st Stefan Belevski (42) 2nd Harry Boughen (40) 3rd Adam King (38) 4th Craig Cameron (36) 4th Chris Priems (36) 4th Ken Watson (36) 5th Bill Eastoe (35) 5th Trevor Jackson (35) 5th Mark Minney (35) 5th Brendon Mitchell (35) 5th Ryan Porker (35)
Priems Cup Results:
Stefan Belevski (TeamChris) d. Mark Minney (4 and 2)
Bill Eastoe (TeamChris) d. Brent Rowley (3 and 2)
Chris Priems (TeamChris) d. Rob Priems (3 and 1)
Ryan Porker (TeamChris) d. Geoff Lyall (2 and 1)
Harry Boughen (TeamRob) d. Trevor Jackson (3 and 2)
Adam King (TeamRob) d. Stan Blackshaw (7 and 5)
Craig Cameron (TeamRob) d. Stephen O’Sullivan (1 up)
Brendon Mitchell (TeamRob) d. Andrew Blight (5 and 3)
Ken Watson (TeamChris) d. Targe Mifsud (5 and 4)
TeamChris d. TeamRob 5 games to 4.
Nearest the Pin Results: ProPin – 15th Jake Priems BallPin No 1 – 4th – No Contest BallPin No 2 – 18th Adam King

We missed out on having to play on April Fool’s Day by the narrowest of margins, just like some of the putts that slipped by today. It was overcast and just a bit breezy when it got light enough to hit off, but take heart, we should have plenty of light for a few weeks from now on, provided that you remember to put your clocks back by an hour tonight. The ground staff were busy during the week aerating the greens (less disruptive and more effective than coring and sanding), but they still suffer from the multitude of unrepaired pitch marks. Maybe we should try to set an altruistic standard by taking on to repair a couple each on each green, regardless of whether we made one or not. If you are not sure how to, there is a link to a video on the web-site, in case you haven’t noticed. As has been the case in recent weeks, the number of registrations was a little disappointing, as we only managed to get 14 members to the line to compete for the April Monthly Medal.

It would be good to see a better turn-out in future, as the management are starting to make noises given the extra loading that they are seeing at the moment. Also, next week will be the first, much postponed, Priems Cup Event. This is a matchplay competition, with Chris and Rob selecting their teams and matches on Thursday after registrations close. So, could everybody register by the deadline (and show up) to avoid last minute hassles on Saturday. Championship points will be awarded as follows. To the winners of each match, three points. To the members of the winning team, two points, but in the event that the teams are tied, all players will get one point. Unmatched players will be assigned to the winning team and will get points accordingly. As well as the matchplay, there will be a Stableford event for the ball run and for handicapping, but there will be no winner’s penalty applied in the handicapping.

For some reason today, there seemed to have been an extraordinary number of balls lost, if you can believe the reports. Ryan reckons that for at least the first five holes, they spent more time looking for balls than playing them. It doesn’t seem that the comment applied to him, though, if the scores that he reported are any guide. Although the front nine probably was not what he would have called ‘great’, the back was just four over par, which brought him into the clubhouse with a net score of 71 to take out the Medal. This is where the ‘racking’ of brains started, as CJ reckoned that he could not remember anybody winning the medal with a higher score. A trawl through the records showed that CJ must have a very short memory, as it was only November 2015 since SOS collected a medal for the same score. And, there have been quite a number of others over the years. If you really want to know who has walked away with the ‘easiest’ medal ever, you would have to look at Laurie Mannix for the September Medal in 2000 when he took home the bacon with 76 net.

Craig was playing his usual (I dare not use the ‘b’ word) game straight down the middle, with only a couple of aberrations that could very well have cost him the top spot. Perhaps it was the thought of the three beers that he was owed after the second tee that distracted him momentarily. Rob had his draughtie on the first, while CJ and Geoff cancelled him out on the second. They weren’t alone, because they were joined by Targe and Stan in the very next group. And, if it hadn’t been for that little distraction, CJ also could have been jostling for the top spot as he tied up with Craig for second place with 72 net. Keith and Geoff did not have any stand-out bad holes, they just didn’t have enough good ones to turn the result into something better. As a result, they had to satisfy themselves with a share of third place with their 74.

Gordon thought that he had heard Michael say that he had a 73, which would have thrown a cat right among the pigeons if it had been correct. Not sure whether to blame Gordon’s hearing or Michael’s diction. One thing Gordon had plenty of today was hitting balls from adjacent to the trunks of trees, and the leafy blighters gave him strife in other ways on a number of occasions as well. And, what can you say about Brendon? A man who doesn’t want a ‘mansion’, just a house with four bedrooms, three bathrooms, study, movie room, triple garage etc, etc. Except, that he ‘struggled’ a bit today to finish tied up with Michael and Gordon in fourth place with a 75. Last Medal day, Harry had a 10 on the 3rd, and went on to win the Medal. Today, Harry had a 10 on the third, but history was not bound to repeat itself, and he could only scrape into fifth place with his 76, no thanks to an 8 on the 17th when his ball disappeared into the tree on the corner, and did not emerge as expected. He’s convinced it is still up there!

Despite the confusion caused by the marker for the ProPin 12th being left out on the 7th, the following results were declared, and no correspondence will be entered into. Stan managed to get his ball onto the 7th green by about a ball width, and took out the BallPin there. Perhaps that will be a minor consolation for the fact that he took four putts to sink his ball on the 5th, with all of them being less than half a metre, and three of them considerably less than that. The second BallPin on the 18th went to Gordon, who had to chase up the office staff to put out the inside ProPin marker, which meant that he got to put his name on that as well. Gordo didn’t get the birdie, which meant that we could only count two for the day. Our ProPin was contested on the 12th, and, although Gordon called Harry’s shot as closer, from the tee, perspective ruined the party and Michael took the dosh with his shot to 4.2m (approximate, independently confirmed).

There was one match contested today, with Michael coming up against Ken, and there was a fairly substantial number of strokes to be given by Michael at 26. Michael took an early lead and was soon two up, but Ken was not done with yet. Through the middle of the course, Mangoman got things rolling and pulled the match back to square and held it there until the 12th. Some more consistent shot making by Michael, and little slips by Ken when the two strokes were on offer marked a complete turn around in the match, and it went dormie 3 at the 15th. A win for Michael on the 16th closed out the match 4 and 2. No Matchplay next week due to Priems Cup, so that leaves four weeks after that to get the first round finished. If second rounders want to get their matches out of the way, they can, but it won’t be compulsory to play until 07 May.

Things have been a bit quiet for the Birthday Birdie over recent weeks, but there is cause for a big Turkish celebration this week as Mehmet turns over a new leaf (in his birthday book). Have a good one, habibi!

According to reports, the lost ball trophy was taken out by SOS, with a total of five. He also scored the most strokes per hole by knocking off Harry with an eleven on the 13th.

Results for Saturday, 02 April 2022
1st Ryan Porker (71) 2nd Craig Cameron (72) 2nd Chris Priems (72) 3rd Keith Delzoppo (74) 3rd Geoff Lyall (74) 4th Michael Gourlay (75) 4th Gordon Hill (75) 4th Brendon Mitchell (75) 5th Harry Boughen (76)

Seniors Results: 1st Chris Priems (72) 1st Craig Cameron (72) 2nd Geoff Lyall (74) 2nd Keith Delzoppo (74) 3rd Gordon Hill (75) 3rd Michael Gourlay (75)

Nearest the Pin Results: ProPin – 12th Michael Gourlay BallPin No 1 – 7th Stan Blackshaw BallPin No 2 – 18th Gordon Hill

It was a lovely autumn day in Melbourne, although it did take a while for the temperature to drag itself into the 20s. The course was in tip-top condition, and the scene was much enlivened by a good number of bright (and sometimes ugly) Hawaiian style shirts to channel the style of Stuart on his Memorial Day. Of course, Rodger was here again, and he repeated his claim that, one day, he is going to hold the trophy aloft himself. Unfortunately there were a number of withdrawals due to the dreaded lurgi, but we ended up with seventeen members on the tees, and that included Allan and Whitey, who has just completed an illustrious season with the flannelled fools. His team managed to win the grand final by a single run, thanks to a great bowling spell by our man in the final over of the match, where he took two wickets for two runs. Bobbie turned up for the barbeque afterwards, and we finally have an explanation for his recent absence from the field. It seems he has a bad case of gunslinger’s finger that prevents him from holding the club in his inimitable style. Hopefully it will loosen up soon, and we will see him back to take on the world once more.

The field was fairly well bunched up after the first week, and so there was a lot of interest in how today’s event would pan out to decide the eventual winner. If Targe hadn’t had a previous commitment to go to Nurmurkah last week, then there might have been an entirely different announcement to make. Because, for the day, Targe pretty much blitzed the field to turn in the top score of 40 points. However, not far behind him on 38 points was Stan, who, with his very steady 34 points last week, finished with a total of 72 for the event. Pepsi was last week’s leader, and he finished the day a few points further back with 35 which meant that he, too, finished on 72 total for the event. As there can be only one winner, the rules provide that a countback on today’s round will decide the result, and Stan’s 20 points on the back nine was more than enough to beat out Pepsi with 18 points. As a result, Stan was declared the winner of the 2022 Stuart Clarke Memorial Trophy. Pepsi was just a little bit cheesed that he had missed an eminently gettable putt that lipped out on the 18th to drop the chance to get his name on the trophy again.

Craig put in another steady and reliable round to keep the points rolling in without doing any harm to his handicap to gather second place. Ken, and his marker, got a bit carried away on the 18th and tried to claim five points for a par with two strokes to play with. This little slip dropped Ken back to a share of third place with Brendon, who had what he considers to be an ‘average’ (below?) round. One highlight for Brendon was the occasion of playing his 400th round with the club. ChrisJ continues to be unfazed by his newish handicap, and improved on last week’s performance to take out 4th place with his total of 66 points. Last, but by no means least, was CJ himself, who continued to make use of the trees to his advantage even when they are no longer there. The stump of the pine tree on the 11th was more than willing to put his ball back into the fairway.

For the nearest the pin competitions, the first BallPin was on the 4th, and Brendon was able to get it close enough to win yet another ball. Another consistent ball bandit took out the prize on the 18th in the person of Craig. The ProPin on the 15th was a Jackpot, and, for a while, it looked as if Blighty was going to be the happy chappy. Pepsi spoiled the party, took the money and sank the putt for a birdie to bring our total for the day to 10.

After the round, there was the usual barbeque, which was described as sumptuous and grilled to perfection by the three budding MasterChefs, Matt, Keith and Blighty. Maybe there is another role for Keith in TV land. There was a good deal of chin-wagging and reminiscing indulged in until a rather small number of members adjourned to the function room for the Club Annual General Meeting. The necessary statutory business was dealt with and the makeup of the Committee was confirmed with only minor changes from that of last year. The minutes of the meeting with full details will be circulated shortly.

Results for Saturday, 26 March 2022
1st Winner Stan Blackshaw(34, 38, 72) (c/b) 1st Andrew Petricola(37, 35, 72) 2nd Craig Cameron(34, 35, 69) 3rd Ken Watson(33, 35, 68) 3rd Brendon Mitchell(36, 32, 68) 4th Chris James(32, 34, 66) 5th Chris Priems(32, 33, 65)

Seniors Results – 1st Stan Blackshaw(34, 38, 72) 2nd Craig Cameron(34, 35, 69) 3rd Ken Watson(33, 35, 68)

Nearest the Pin Results: ProPin – 15th Andrew Petricola BallPin No 1 – 4th Brendon Mitchell BallPin No 2 – 18th Craig Cameron