Yearly Archives: 2022

It was a bit of a sad day today as we realised that this marked the end of an era, and we would never again see Trev’s smiling face, hear his dulcet tones ring out across the course, and his running commentary on his game and ours. A good number of members turned out for his farewell during the week, which was much appreciated by his family and friends. In actual fact, there were more members there than the twelve that made it to the tee today. Pepsi was probably still getting over his birthday celebrations, and Blighty is a well known fair weather player. In fact, the weather didn’t turn out too badly, with no wind and little more than a mist in precipitation. The course was a bit wet underfoot in places, although the greens were remarkably hard and fast. Actually, one of the wettest places on the course was the 15th tee, and some members were asking whether they were entitled to casual water relief. With so many factors coming into play, how did the actual scoring go?

Members are starting to believe that some alien life form has taken over the body of our President. Not only was no beer harmed as a result of today’s round, but also, Rob topped the podium steps once again with a very nice 38 points that had the effect of shaving yet another couple of strokes from his handicap. Just in time for the start of the Winter Cup! Nice work Rob. There might have been some dispute about the no beer harm claim, but the details were just a bit too hazy to report as a fact. On another matter relating to the red markers, Adam distinguished himself today by driving his tee past them on the second. Porks tried hard on the 14th, but the tee separation was just a little too great.

Harry was pretty happy with his 19 points on the front nine, but triples on the 10th and 13th brought things back to the pace, and he was only able to finish with 35 points for a spot in second place. Geoff was channelling CJ today. With his shortish haircut and well trimmed beard, he was almost mistaken for our MIA tee marshal (Go Collywobbles!). Out on the course the likeness continued with a number of ‘tree’ shots saving the day to bring the ball back into play. With three misses and two four pointers on the front, the handicapper is taking a good hard look at how ‘generous’ he has been. However, it is the final score that counts, and 35 points scores him yet another let-out. JQ started out with a good drive on the first, and was feeling pretty pleased with himself until he finished the hole with a seven. At this point, he contemplated calling it a day. A goodly number of ‘up and downs’, some of them with very long putts, banished any suicidal thoughts, and he pressed on to finish with 35 points also. One of the U and Ds was a particularly duffy shot on the 17th that just kept on hopping and running to go very close to going into the hole for an eagle and leaving the birdie in no doubt. That birdie was one of just five that we scored for the day, although Gordon is claiming the ‘best’ with his 5.2m putt on the 12th after he just missed out qualifying to get his name on the ProPin card.

Which could go some way to explaining how Gordo managed to rack up 34 points to fill the third spot on his Pat Malone. Three triples obviously stood in the way of a significantly better result. Whitey filled his card with fours, fives and sixes in just about equal measure on his way to a solo spot in 4th place with 33 points. Craig bisected the fairway on the first, and looked as if he was going to be his dangerous self once more. He did need a bit of luck on the 3rd, where a ‘skinny’ chip looked to be heading for the wide blue. That is until it hit the pin and stopped dead for an easy par tap in. The form faded a bit on the back, and he could only scrape together 32 points, but that was enough to get 5th place, and another point to the tally.

The first BallPin was on the 4th, and it turned into a bit of a no contest after JQ put his name on the card. The second was on the 18th, as usual, and this too was a no contest after ChrisJ put his name on that card. Chris also made some use of the trees on the course to his advantage. One particular case was on the 16th, where a well off course shot finished in the middle of the fairway thanks to a convenient tree. The trees played no part in making it to the 18th green. The ProPin was on the 12th, and after Gordo’s ‘miserable’ attempt, Prez thought he was going to clean up again this week. Unfortunately, Craig had other ideas and took out the pot with a shot to 2.45m, a good 1.43m closer than Rob’s (and not 38cm, or 380cm, or something as Rob was trying to claim during the presentations).

The Birthday Birdie was a little remiss last week in forgetting to visit Pepsi. But this week he has to say a little Hello to Steve, who has something to celebrate coming up. Steve did plan to be with us today, but a family matter came up that required his attention. We hope all is good with your daughter, Steve, and that you can celebrate your day together.

Results for Saturday, 09 Jul 2022
1st Robert Priems (38) 2nd Harry Boughen (35) 2nd Geoff Lyall (35) 2nd John Quinlan (35) 3rd Gordon Hill (34) 4th Rodney White (33) 5th Craig Cameron (32)

Seniors Results: 1st Geoff Lyall (35) 1st Harry Boughen (35) 2nd Gordon Hill (34) 3rd Rodney White (33)

Nearest the Pin Results: ProPin – 12th Craig Cameron BallPin No 1 – 4th John Quinlan BallPin No 2 – 18th Chris James

The recent rains have been mercifully light to non-existent, and so the course has been holding its own. It actually looked downright inviting from the Clubhouse hill looking back down the ninth. There wasn’t much run on the fairways if you had any sort of a launch angle, but the greens were surprisingly fast. Just ask Steve, who managed to miss the green twice from just a few metres out on a couple of occasions. And this despite a chipping lesson with the Pro during the week. There were some dark looking clouds around first thing, and they didn’t really clear away, although they did lighten up as the day went on. Also, there was not a breath of wind the whole morning, so our 15 members who made it to the tee should have had little excuse from the conditions. Bob almost had an excuse for not turning up after his navigation system kept taking him around in ever decreasing circles, somewhere in the vicinity of ShoppingTown. In the end, he called his well honed bush skills into play and relied on his unerring sense of direction to get him to the golf course that he has been playing regularly for the last 30 years. Maybe the 900th game last week went to his head.

Now, many golf clubs have a day on their calendar that is known as President’s Day. Unfortunately, we don’t have such a day on our calendar, so Prez decided that he would exercise Presidential prerogative and declare that today was just such a day. It wasn’t all roses, as he did have to shout after his drive on the 2nd powered through one of the bushes in front of the tee, only to collect a tree that pulled the ball up well short of the red markers. However, his pitcher was working a treat and a number of approach shots finished pretty much within gimme distance of the hole. A couple of longish putts also helped to keep the wolf from the door, bringing him home with a nice round net score of 68 to minimise the damage to his handicap. If that wasn’t enough, he also managed to get his name on the two BallPin markers at the 4th and 18th to collect a couple of Precepts, which are now his favourite ball, in addition to the one for the win. SOS, please note!

ChrisJ produced a bit of a mixed bag on the front nine, but definitely lifted his game on the back to produce a swag of pars. A triple on the 13th was the only real blemish for the half, and he finished the round a couple of strokes back with a net of 70. Porks was deadly with his wedge today, and this scored him consecutive birdies early in the round, and he missed three in a row by the barest of margins. He now has a very nice lead in the Championship and a couple of strokes to play with in the Eclectic. Still room for improvement in that department, as there are three holes on the course that he has not yet birdied or eagled.

El Capitano was rather reluctant to talk about his own game, which didn’t quite come up to his usual high standard. In actual fact, he was rather more keen to take part in Dob-in-a-Bob Week, perhaps showing a yearning for his halcyon days in the Cubs and Scouts. When Akela cried Dyb, Dyb, Dyb, he was probably the very first to reply We’ll Dob, Dob, Dob. Anyhow, he did provide graphic evidence of the draughtie on the 16th tee. And, he managed to slip into third place with his net of 73. There were a remarkable number of ‘fat ladies’ on the cards today, and a rather unexpected appearance was made on Brendon’s card. Brendon was in one of his pedantic moods today, wanting to argue about what constituted and airie. He contended that the fact that he hit the ground before not hitting the ball did not constitute said felony. The fact that he had his backside up against a tree and the ball was in long grass does not provide mitigating circumstances. Despite all this, he also netted 73 and shared third place with Matt.

There were also a few scores that got into double figures on a hole, and Ben was one player who recorded that distinction. Whether that was the same hole that he scored his draughtie and/or did his back in was not declared. There was a round at Sandringham on offer for tomorrow because of the injury. Despite this, a net score of 75 left him in 4th place, with no one else to share the glory. Harry believes that the idea of putting should be changed to running the ball just to catch the edge of the hole, but not to go in. Brent reckons that he has proved once again that if you birdie the first, then the only way from there is down. As a result, they both reported nets of 76 to collect the last point for the day.

The field was faced with a couple of quandaries with the course set up today. The first was on the first, where the signage warned you to keep off, but the white markers beckoned you to come on, sailor. The second was on the 5th, where the tee markers were less than a pace from the back of the brand new tee box. So much for having two club lengths for a teeing area. There was barely enough room for a stance. There were no quandaries on the 15th, where we were competing for the Jackpot ProPin. CJ wasn’t here today to defend himself, but brother Rob was adamant that the oversight last week was definitely down to Chris. In the end, the other ChrisJ was the one who got his name on the card with a shot to 1.37m. Given that we only reported three birdies for the day, and those three have already been mentioned, the evidence would suggest that he did not make the putt.

There was one match played today in the Matchplay quarter-finals, that saw Pepsi pitted against Whitey. The word came back that the whole thing was not pretty, as both players turned out well below their potential. As a result, the match ended up being a pretty close-run thing. Nobody could really get the upper hand, and after the 12th the match stood at all square. Rod then made a bit of a break for it and made it out to a lead of two holes, and Peps started to get a bit anxious. So much so that he produced a power shank on the 15th to finish across the 16th and not too far from the fence to the car-park. He played a great recovery shot and barely missed the par, which would have won him the hole. As it was, the result was a square, not a loss as was recorded. The match was square after the 17th, and it required a win on the 18th for Whitey to take the match one up.

Today, despite the lack of wind, turned out to be pretty draughtie. As well as the ones already mentioned, additional mentions are due to Pat who had to dip into his sky-rocket for two rounds, and to Targe who did not make the best of the day. Rob got away a good drive on the 11th, although it did drift a bit to the right and into the tree line. He also made good contact with his second shot, but, unfortunately, the ball also made good contact with a tree several metres away. The rebound almost took off Prez’s head, and the ball finished some 30m behind and almost back on the 10th green. Bob reckons we should have more news about good shots, so here goes. On the 13th, Bob had a shot from behind the penalty area, with the contained forest between him and the green. Nothing ventured, nothing gained, Bob pulled out a wedge, and gave it all he was worth. He didn’t see where it went, but he was very pleased to find that it had finished on the green. A pretty mean feat, you would have to say.

Now, we must, unfortunately, bring some very sad news. During the week, our old mate and stalwart of the Club for 30 years, Trevor took a tumble in his own home and injured himself so severely that he was not able to summon help, and he died alone and probably in great pain. Our sincerest condolences go to his family and friends. As a mark of respect, we ask that everybody playing next week wear a black armband. President Rob has been in contact with Trev’s family, and he will advise details of the funeral for those members who would like to attend to pay their respects. Rest in Peace Trev, there’s bound to be plenty of carts available for that great golf course in the sky.

Results for Saturday, 02 July 2022
1st Robert Priems (68) 2nd Chris James (70) 2nd Ryan Porker (70) 3rd Matt Hunt (73) 3rd Brendon Mitchell (73) 4th Ben Akdag (75) 5th Harry Boughen (76) 5th Brent Rowley (76)

Seniors Results: 1st Harry Boughen (76) 2nd Bob McDonald (78) 3rd Andrew Blight (79)

Nearest the Pin Results: ProPin – 15th Chris James BallPin No 1 – 4th Robert Priems BallPin No 2 – 18th Robert Priems

Yet another lovely Melbourne winter’s day. There was just a nice little gap between the weather fronts coming through to produce a day that was not too cold, and definitely not too hot. As Goldilocks would say, it was just right. Of course, the showers that accompany the weather fronts have done their bit to keep the course well damped down, and there was a certain amount of squishiness underfoot in places. Plugged balls were evident from time to time, but they are subject to relief in any case. The preferred lie ruling was certainly welcome, but the ‘claytons’ ruling on the (non)use of carts by the ProShop caused more than a little consternation, among the twelve members who managed to make it on deck. One who had to bail was out SOS who has been struck down by the dreaded C, and is trying to console himself in isolation. Get well soon old mate, we need somebody to handle our balls. And, while on the topic of getting well, Bob was back on the course today after an extended break due to his hand problem. Although he did not exactly blitz the course, he did manage to score a two-pointer, and he finally got to play his 900th round with the Club. Congratulations, Bob.

What sort of a score would you expect to see from a player who manages to square twelve of the eighteen holes in a round. It probably depends on whether a square is a ‘good’ result, or a ‘bad’ result. In Brendon’s case, they were more like a ‘bad’ result, with plus scores out-numbering minus scores by four to two. This balance kept his tally for the round to just +2, which turned out to be just enough to win the top points by a fairly comfortable margin. Whether the team tee-shirt helped the performance in any way was not immediately obvious, but Brendon was heard to mutter something about ‘sticking it to those Collingwood supporters’.

Harry felt that his score should have been a bit better after a two point putt missed by a hairs-breadth. However, he was also rather thankful when a longish downhill putt on the 14th trickled in for a par after a couple of less than satisfying approach shots. At the end of the day, -1 was probably a fair result. Last week, when H and Michael battled it out in their match, they finished with identical results for the round. Today, they did it again, as Michael also presented with a score of -1. According to reports, Michael was on the verge of throwing it in and going home when he had completed the sixth to be five on the wrong side of zero. He must have given himself a good talking to, as he managed to play the last twelve holes with two strokes under the card, which converted his five down to one down to get the points for second place. The birdies involved (three) helped us to a fairly respectable tally of nine for the day.

It has been a little while since Craig has popped his head above the battlements, which could mean that he is preparing to go ‘over the top’ and lead the charge for the enemy trenches. Or at least for the head of the Championship Table. Rob did not feature in any reports of ‘coming up short’, which some might say is a bit unusual. Although there was a good smattering of plus signs on his card, there was a bit of an excess of minuses, leading to his final score of -2, which scored him a share of the third podium step. Brent scored the other of the two ‘doubles’ for the day on his way to being three up at the turn. At this point, the run of form seemed to abandon him, and five downers on the back brought him back to the pace for his share of third.

The hole was not specified, but Whitey managed to find a tree that, rather unexpectedly, managed to play a return shot that left his ball on the ‘wrong’ side of the red markers. Which probably explains why he was buying a round of drinks after the game. Despite this little setback, he was able to put together a nice little back nine, a couple on the plus side, to finish on his own in fourth place with -3. Although he had his handicap cut last week, Ryan probably cannot blame that alone for his rather nasty front nine that matched Michael’s over the first six holes, but lacked the MG recovery on the last three of the nine. He did manage to equal par on the back to bring some respectability and one point for fifth place. CJ would have been reasonably pleased with his game for the first nine holes where he managed to play to his handicap and square the card. Perhaps it was the anticipation of the afternoon’s events at Jake’s Baby Shower that brought on the slump in form over the first half of the back. Or did it bring on the recovery over the last four? Whichever it was, he teamed up with Porks to collect a single point for the day.

You would reckon that a team of champions, such as Prez, CJ and Brent, could be relied upon to put out the NTP markers on the designated holes. To give them their due, they did manage to get the job done on the 4th, which was the first BallPin. Craig managed to get his name on the card briefly, only to be knocked off by Harry, who finished a good metre and a half nearer. It was the ProPin on the 15th where the best laid plans came unstuck (Baby Shower again?), and the paraphernalia was nowhere to be seen by the following groups. As a result, there was No Contest today, and the funds in the pool will Jackpot to next week. The pin on the 18th was on the top deck today, which is thought to be the more ‘difficult’ location. Not so for Michael, who managed to balance it not too far past the brow to collect the ball on offer.

The Beast was a little off his game today, although he did make what appeared to be a good strike from the tee at the 12th, eliciting cries of ‘in the hole’ as the ball arced towards the pin. Unfortunately, the shot came up short on the slope and promptly headed down hill at a rate of knots, eliciting cries of ‘in the pond’ before it came to a halt in the longish grass at the bottom of the slope. Steve was a bit unhappy with most aspects of his game today. The short game came in for its fair share of questioning, particularly after he had made three approaches to the 9th green for no forward progress after the ball persistently stopped short and rolled back down the slope to his feet.

Results for Saturday, 25 June 2022
1st Brendon Mitchell (+2) 2nd Harry Boughen (-1) 2nd Michael Gourlay (-1) 3rd Craig Cameron (-2) 3rd Robert Priems (-2) 3rd Brent Rowley (-2) 4th Rodney White (-3) 5th Ryan Porker (-4) 5th Chris Priems (-4)

Seniors Results: 1st Harry Boughen (-1) 1st Michael Gourlay (-1) 2nd Craig Cameron (-2) 3rd Rodney White (-3)

Nearest the Pin Results: ProPin – 15th – No Contest BallPin No 1 – 4th Harry Boughen BallPin No 2 – 18th Michael Gourlay

The waterproof dome over the CBD and surrounds has persisted, and the rainfalls have been mercifully light around Ivanhoe way, particularly compared to other areas around. As a result, the course is still in a not too bad condition. A couple of spots were a bit squishy under-foot, and the general thinking is that the course is now at the stage where not much more than a spit will result in it becoming a bit on the boggy and quaggie side. The greens were sanded during the week, which gave a few people excuses for missed putts. And don’t forget the dew on the grass. And don’t dare mention the lack of talent. A bit of softness meant that there were quite a few craters left, and we would like to think that we were doing our bit to leave the greens in better condition than how we found them. Of the sixteen members who turned out, only one owned up to having had a draughtie although Ken and Andrew were flirting with the ladies a couple of times. It is assumed that they were referring to the red markers rather than to members of the opposite gender.

Now, what sort of handicap should a person who can complete a round just two over par be on? Certainly not six. But that is exactly what Ryan did today as he blazed his way to 40 points to take out the top placing for the day. A couple of double bogies were more than offset by four birdies, and that helped the rest of us along to tally thirteen of the little beggars for the day. All of this was while doing battle with Stef in their quarter-final match for the Matchplay Championship. There was only one stroke in the handicap difference, and so it was virtually an off-the-stick affair. Stef managed to win the first two holes, but, in the face of Porks’ blistering pace, the wins soon dried up. There was a suggestion that the turning point came when Porks was almost (but not quite) crapped on by a kookaburra on the 3rd hole. By the sixth, the match was back to square, and Porks marched out to be five up after the 12th. A squared result on the 13th made the match dormie five, meaning that Stef had to keep winning to stay in the game. He did manage to do that for the next two holes, and the match stood at dormie 3 after the 15th. Porks scored one of his birdies on the 16th to beat Stef’s par and to take out the match 4 and 2.

CJ has really struck a patch of form in recent weeks, and he has decided that the Seniors Championship is not such a tough gig after all, and he reckons he is now on the hunt for Craig’s scalp at the top of the table. This new, straight-shooting, Priems started out playing like a man possessed to finish the first half just three over that card, and with 22 points in credit. The shine went off just a bit after the turn, and a total of 38 was all that he could muster. Matt, on the other hand, was content to play to his handicap over the front, but he then put the pedal to the metal after the turn, and he was also able to return with 38 points to share the second spot with CJ.

The second quarter-final match was played today between Harry and Michael. Harry was reaching for his crucifix as Michael turned out in his ‘lucky’ matchplay beanie. With fifteen strokes to give away, Michael was keen to know on which holes he had H on equal terms. It didn’t matter on the first, where a par from each started the match off square. As the round progressed, a couple of uncharacteristic putts by Michael let Harry sneak out to be two up. The lack of a stroke on the 9th and a slightly astray second shot on the 10th brought the match back to square after the 10th. From then on, each time Harry won a hole, Michael clawed it back on the next, and after the 18th, the match was all square. They proceeded to a chip-off, and Michael produced, by far, his best chip of the day to about 400mm from the hole. Harry’s effort, while valiant, was no match for the simple tap in that Michael had to win the match. Through all of this, they both managed to score 36 points to share third spot,

Anthony was absolutely smashing his drives all day. Unfortunately, particularly on the front nine, his short game let him down more than somewhat. The tide did turn as he rounded the turn, and the last ten holes netted him twenty-two points, and he was able to finish in fourth place with his 35 points. The Beast was right up there beside Anthony, although his scoring was rather more balanced. One highlight was a four pointer when he managed to score a birdie on the 10th hole. As we watched Rob from the first tee, he was seen to do a ‘sprint’ to the far side of the 9th fairway and then back onto the first, where he appeared to drop a ball. Now that was taking ‘preferred lie’ a bit too far we thought. It was a wild goose chase, we were told. Later on there was a ‘wild duck chase’ when, on the 12th, Rob took objection to one of the ducks on the pond ‘laughing’ at him. Rob then proceeded to put his drive into the pond, nearly taking out one of the offending ducks, and scoring one of his ‘usuals’ in the process. Despite all this, he did manage to score 34 points to get the last points on offer for the day.

CJ threw the cat among the pigeons today when he opted to use a different BallPin marker for the 4th hole – just for a change! Now, it is a bit unclear exactly how close Matt’s ball really was, as the distance kept changing with every telling of the tale. The upshot was that he didn’t put his name on it because he didn’t think it was ours, and, so, Ryan was the one to collect the ball on offer. The BallPin on the 18th saw the pin on the top deck, and Geoff held the honour for a while with his spot on the lower deck. Ryan came along to collect another ball, but exactly how much closer he got was not determined. The ProPin on the 12th was a Double Jackpot, and Ryan had hopes of getting his name on all three NTP cards. Despite appearances, the tape measure did not lie, and his ball was just a couple of centimetres further out than Harry’s 4.86m.

Geoff was feeling pretty pleased with himself after he had made a birdie (one of the highlights of his back nine) on the 15th. So pumped up was he that he missed the ball entirely on the 16th tee, but then proceeded to almost (but not quite) chip in for an ‘unlikely’ par. Now, we mentioned that the Beast had scored a birdie on the 10th. It seems that his drive had finished in the vicinity of the pond on the 13th. He attempted a fading shot into the green, but barrelled it into the depths of one of the trees, and after passing through about fifty branches, it dropped onto the green about a metre from the pin. Brendon was seen on his hands and knees in the bushes on the 17th as the attempted to craft some sort of a shot from an impossible lie. B wasn’t the only one to have his work cut out for him, as SOS reckons he would never have found his if Michael had not marked it with his ‘lucky’ beanie. Blighty was disappointed that he did not make the glorious come-back from his break that he had envisaged, so he consoled himself with that well known Brunswick beverage, a soy latte.

Results for Saturday, 18 June 2022
1st Ryan Porker (40) 2nd Matt Hunt (38) 2nd Chris Priems (38) 3rd Harry Boughen (36) 3rd Michael Gourlay (36) 4th Anthony Browne (35) 4th Bill Eastoe (35) 5th Robert Priems (34)

Seniors Results: 1st Chris Priems (38) 2nd Harry Boughen (36) 2nd Michael Gourlay (36) 3rd Bill Eastoe (35)

Nearest the Pin Results: ProPin – 12th Harry Boughen BallPin No 1 – 4th Ryan Porker BallPin No 2 – 18th Ryan Porker