Yearly Archives: 2022

A typical Melbourne autumn day. Slightly fresh to start off, overcast and a bit of wind to blow around the fallen and falling leaves from the elms. The temperature probably didn’t climb all that much, but the jumpers eventually came off and there was enough rain to be just a little more than a nuisance and needing the umbrellas to be unfurled from time to time. The course was a little softer and the greens appeared to have been swept clean for a change. David Ford’s legacy of a par competition caused a few grumbles, but with the fairly benign conditions, there appeared to be little reason to expect that the scoring would be anything but easy for the fifteen members and two guests that turned out.

And, easy it was for one member, at least. Ken’s first description of his round was that he had had an aberration. At first, this was thought to be his less than spectacular start from the first tee. When asked for newsworthy items such as ‘miracle’ shots etc, his response became that every shot was a ‘miracle shot’. So much so that he racked up ten pluses, including five on the trot, on his way to a fairly spectacular total of +7 at the end of the day. This could stand him in very good stead for one of the trophies at the end of the year. His total strokes of 89 was also a personal best by a couple of shots. The only downside is that Ken will not be able to play next week due to other commitments. Unless, of course, he can pull some strings in the meantime.

Which leaves the gate wide open for an unlikely pairing of Targe and Rob, who came in with the next best score of +4. Targe seems to have been keeping a fairly low profile, and he played fairly steadily today to produce as many square scores as Ken did pluses. Rob, it seems, has been sussing out Youtube videos on ‘how to straighten your drive’. If he has been putting it into practice, then it seems to have paid dividends, with nothing that you could call a ‘blow-up’ to be seen on the card. Maybe he should also check out some Youtube about checking your ball after he hit a ‘wrongun’ on the 9th. SOS also ‘fessed up to consulting Professor Youtube for advice on chipping, and maybe it worked (sometimes).

Brent was, rather unkindly, accused of protecting his handicap when he scored minus on four of the last five holes, but this is hard to justify when a +3 will still cause some pain on that front with the prospect of more from being in easy striking distance of the front-runners. Ryan has been a bit distracted over the last couple of weeks, mainly due to the fact that he has been moving apartments. It has been a pretty big move, from one to the one next door. Not sure why it has taken two weeks, but the stress did not stop Porks also carding ten squares (eight on the trot) to finalise his card on plus two for a good chance at picking up the big one.

Not to be outdone, Matty produced a card with eleven squares, but he could only manage to make a bottom line of plus one. After some hassling with Blighty over whether to record actual strokes taken or truncated to the point of minus, Chris also joined Matt on plus one. Dale had no such problems with CJ scoring his card and joined the other two on the leaderboard bottom step.

There was one Match played today between Harry and Blighty. With only a couple of strokes difference in handicap, it was going to be pretty much an off the stick affair. Andrew got off to a good start by winning the first two holes, while Harry found his range after a couple of weeks off the clubs. By the turn, the balance had shifted, and it was Harry ahead on two up. The fortunes oscillated close to the square point, with H having a slight advantage after the 16th. A couple of over-drawn shots from the tee on the 17th made it difficult for Blighty, while Harry sealed the deal with a birdie to take the match 2 and 1. That birdie was one of just five that we managed for the day, despite the benign conditions.

Matt was very keen to lay claim to a ProV1 for the BallPins on the 12th and 18th holes. Unfortunately, in both cases, he was knocked off. On the 12th, it was Blighty who got inside him, by not a very large margin. On the 18th, Porks managed to finish only a metre from the hole to take the prize there. The ProPin was on the 15th, and Matt had hopes of getting his name on the card by making a Captain’s Call that the ball could be within the range of the tape rather than the rule of 5m. Fortunately, sanity prevailed, and the ProPin will be a jackpot on the 15th next week.

Blighty quickly bemoaned the fact that he had ‘thinned’ the ball on his approach to the 10th green. It seems the wailing was premature, as the ball finished only about a metre past the hole. ChrisJ played a provisional on the 13th after his first appeared to head well out of bounds. He must have been channelling CJ since his ball was found nicely placed back out on the fairway. His ‘chunked’ second shot did not reach as far as his monster provisional, but at least he was only playing three and not four. CJ was putting well, but didn’t seem to be able to get them to sink. At one stage, he was apparently threatening to wrap his putter around something if it lipped the cup again. Nothing to do with the nut on the end of the shaft, apparently.

Steve joined us again to put in his third card, and so he now has his handicap and can compete in events. At one stage, he was wondering who was playing loud ‘dance music’ to provide timing for Craig’s back swing, when he suddenly realised that it was his mobile making the racket. Jake was here again on his comeback to the Club, and he submitted his second card for his new handicap. Seems he wants to stay in his father’s good books, as he would not ‘dob’ CJ in for the news report. The Birthday Birdie also has a couple of calls to make this week, with a shout-out to Anthony and Gordo who will be out painting the town red during the week. By the way, did you know that birthdays are good for you. The more of them you have, the longer you will live.

Results for Saturday, 14 May 2022
Leaderboard Round 1: 1st Ken Watson (+7) 2nd Targe Mifsud (+4) 2nd Robert Priems (+4) 3rd Brent Rowley (+3) 4th Ryan Porker (+2) 5th Matt Hunt (+1) 5th Chris James (+1) 5th Dale Webb (+1)

Seniors Leaderboard: 1st Ken Watson (+7) 2nd Targe Mifsud (+4) 3rd Harry Boughen (□)

Nearest the Pin Results: ProPin – 15th Jackpot BallPin No 1 – 12th Andrew Blight BallPin No 2 – 18th Ryan Porker

The Beast is back in full force! No one got even close to his score of 64 in the May Monthly medal on a mildly chilling Autumn morning in May. The tee positions were not all fully back and the golf gods were harsh on some but this did not deter Bill from backing up his win from a few weeks ago with another for a convincing win overall. Some say that it could have been the anticipation of a cold brewsky after the round that helped him along the way. When asked after the round if there were an secrets to his game and he said it was all fairly easy!

In total there were 14 members in play, along with Steve who handed in his second card. One more round and Steve will be eligible for his handicap and potentially first win!

It is now getting kind of boring. More of the same. Each and every week. Craig again has beaten his handicap and came in his lonesome in second place with a score of 66. He even did this whilst playing with Targe!  Brent also carded a PB on the front nine and was fairly consistent all day to play to his handicap with a score of 68.

There were a couple of members hanging on to a point but in the last group Brendon knocked them off with a score of ah’erm 69 which was good enough for 4th place. SOS rounded out the points placings for 5th with a score of 71.

In a first for a long time, the pro pin was on the 4th hole with a tight right pin position and generous tee position. Not one to falter or chicken out, Stef player a marvellous shot to around 1m to win the cash.  He sank the birdie putt, along with a couple more for the round to be part of 15 birdies for the day for the club.

The first ball prize was on the 15th and again the marker was quite close from one of the earlier groups, none other than Geoffroy!  SOS had gotten to the 18th tee and had played almost consistent all day, and the thought crossed through his mind that he had not shanked one all day. This was after giving his playing partners a hard time for missing the green on the very same hole. Rather than shank it he managed to thin the crap out of it and the ball ran all the way up the hill and towards the green. Peps under his breath said to the group that it will probably end up rather close given SOS’s luck. This ended up as fact and the ball was pin high and good enough for the 2nd ball prize.

There were some rather high scores on some holes, particularly the 2nd where the Peps/SOS group had a total of 23 shots for the hole. With 3 players! This included a ball stuck on some rather obnoxious roots for SOS which was an unplayable and resulted in an 8!

Targe was also in the wars as he found his ball had fallen into the greenside bunker on the par 5. His first shot out of the sand hit the lip and bounced back to fall in exactly the same divot is started in. This proceeded to happen a couple more time and he needed 4 shots to get out of the bunker and a legs 11 for the hole.

There were no match plays for the day but second round is now upon us to get those matches in! This coming week is the Autumn cup so it would be great if we can get as many numbers as we can down over the next two weeks!

Results for Saturday, 07 May 2022
1st Bill Eastoe (64) 2nd Craig Cameron (66) 3rd Brent Rowley (68) 4th Brendon Mitchell (69) 5th Stephen O’Sullivan (71)

Seniors Results: 1st Bill Eastoe (64) 2nd Craig Cameron (66) 3rd Geoff Lyall (73)

Nearest the Pin Results: ProPin – 4th Stefan Belevski BallPin No 1 – 15th Geoff Lyall BallPin No 2 – 18th Stephen O’Sullivan

There was 35 mm of rain overnight but the group woke to stars in the sky and the promise of a beaut Melbourne Autumn morning .. that’s just how it worked out, even if the forecast of heavy downpours during the morning threatened things for the 14 members who defiantly turned up. There was a slight chill in the air, a few spots of water lying around the course and clear, sunny skies throughout!

The puddles were not a worry for Adam who was in a league of his own and after a fairly solid front 9 score of plus 1, finished with a nice stretch to end things on +5 for the day, which included 3 wipes along the way. This also included a double plus on the 14th with a nice little birdie to kick start his run of scores. To end things on a high he also ended up with the ball prize on the 18th. Adam also pipped out new member Steve Gervsoni who hopefully is not deterred by missing out on the free hot dot. Steve is resuming golf after a fair layoff, who after the match when grilled said he really enjoyed being back on the track. He may be one to watch in the next few months!

Would the course be wet, was the question on many lips after the bit of a downpour that we had during the week. The answer was, no, because the ground was so dry beforehand that any rainfall was soon absorbed, the clay expanded, and the cracks closed up. As a result, there was perhaps a little less run than in recent times, and the greens offered their fair share of challenges as they held onto their coating of dew until well into the morning. After almost causing a shiver, and actually causing some finger numbness, the temperature climbed enough to be rather pleasant by the time our twelve participants had completed their round and settled their scorecards. Pepsi even entertained the crowd with his impression of ‘the little steam engine that could’ as we waited for the final tallies to be submitted.

When the dust had settled, we ended up with a tie for first place. Old Reliable seems to be back in his ‘Old Reliable’ form, and is doing his darnedest to protect his handicap as much as possible by playing to 36 points on both of his last outings. A couple of weeks ago, that only netted him 4th place, rather than the top ranking today. Keith took on Trev in their first round match today. Trev was on the verge of conceding even before they left the Clubhouse, and talked about that option after one or two holes. Ruthless operator that he is, Keith gave no quarter, and polished Trev off at the 14th, 5 and 4. With that little demolition out of the way, Keith stormed home to put together 19 points on the back nine to join Craig on the top step of the podium.

Now, Geoff could very well have been singing the blues after his drive on the first did not even reach the ‘blues’. Saved from having an airie by the skinniest of one of his whiskers, Geoff pulled himself together and scored pretty well for the next eleven holes. The wheels then developed a bit of a squeak, but didn’t quite fall off, and he finished with 34 points at the end of the round. Pepsi had a few words to say to himself, particularly on the front nine, where trees created some problems for long shots and the putts just would not roll out or turn as expected. The warmer conditions on the back nine seemed to suit better, and a one over par for the nine turned the result around, and he also came into second place with Geoff.

Ryan also did not set the world on fire with his first tee shot, and the front nine generally was sort of average, especially on the 8th for some reason. He fared much better on the back and finished up in third place with his tally of 33 points. Harry is hoping that the after-effects of the Moderna vaccine explains his lack of stamina today. It didn’t affect his shot making overly, but the pars proved entirely elusive, and there were 15 two pointers on his card with his one stroke per hole handicap. As a result, the best he could manage was 31 points with a couple of ‘unfortunate’ misses. Bill, on the other hand, was wondering how his game could be so different from one week to the next. When he did make good contact, the ball definitely stayed contacted, but the putting was a bit of a let-down from time to time. On the third, though, he did not need to putt, as he chipped in for a birdie, and Harry called it from the moment the ball hit the green. As a result of the four points, he joined Harry to share 4th place.

Hear ye, hear ye! Prez has a new club! Craig had a chipping iron that was surplus to his requirements, and volunteered to let Rob ‘try and buy’. It took Rob nine holes to get the feel of the newfangled gadget, but it did seem to pay dividends on the back nine, where he stormed home with nineteen points. Now, the thing is, Craig also marked Rob’s card, and robbed him of a stroke on the 8th, where, Rob, on his highly inflated handicap gets two. As a result, Rob was elevated to a share of 4th rather than a share of 5th. That left Adam on his Pat Malone on thirty points and in fifth place. The interesting thing about Adam’s round is that, after two holes, he had one point. After nine holes, he had twenty-one points, thanks to a couple of birdies that grabbed him four points each. Those two birdies helped us to our rather skinny total of five for the day.

Porks would have to be the most knocked-off player today. On the first BallPin at the 4th, he was knocked off by Adam. On the second BallPin at the 18th he was knocked off by Pepsi. There was a Jackpot ProPin on the 12th today, and although some did get onto the green, none were within the 5m limit and there will be a double Jackpot there next week. SOS is hoping against hope that it does not go off again next week so that he can have a crack at it the week after. It seems he has been inspired to win more after finding out that he had only won 7 ProPins since January 2016. Check out the ProPin Pirates report to see where you stand. And, keep your eye out for the upcoming Ball Busters report for the BallPin results.

The Birthday Birdie will be busy again this week, as he has to get around to meet and greet with Porks and Whitey. If Whitey plays next week, you might try putting the hard word on him, particularly if his nag keeps winning.

Only two more Saturdays to get Round 1 matches out of the way. Yes, work and family can get in the way of things, but we would like to get a result one way or another in the three matches remaining. Round 2 matches can play anytime, but the turn up and play rule kicks in on 07 May. So, check out your opponent and talk to one another to settle on an agreeable time. Round 2 has until have until 18th June, but it won’t take long to come around.

Results for Saturday, 23 April 2022
1st Craig Cameron (36) 1st Keith Delzoppo (36) 2nd Geoff Lyall (34) 2nd Andrew Petricola (34) 3rd Ryan Porker (33) 4th Harry Boughen (31) 4th Bill Eastoe (31) 4th Robert Priems (31) 5th Adam King (30)

Seniors Results: 1st Craig Cameron (36) 1st Keith Delzoppo (36) 2nd Geoff Lyall (34) 3rd Bill Eastoe (31) 3rd Harry Boughen (31)

Nearest the Pin Results: ProPin – 12th Jackpot BallPin No 1 – 4th Adam King BallPin No 2 – 18th Andrew Petricola