Monthly Archives: September 2024

The bloke some people call Ryan has a touch of the Joey Danihers, a quietly spoken family man, a lefty, a bit mercurial, you are never quite sure what you are going to get, but capable of the big shots under pressure.

And so on the big stage at Royal Ivanhoe this week, playing Grand Par in front of a crowd that was just 100,001 less than the 100,013 at the MCG, Porks delivered.

A somewhat shaky start was offset by a great shot into the 4th for both a birdie and a win of the Nearest the Pin on offer there.

Hitting half time at minus 1 was nothing special, but Porks then rattled off three pluses on 10, 12 (another birdie) and 14, adding another on the 16th for a one under 32 off the stick on the back nine (71 off the stick for the round) and a +3 total.

Along the way he also won the Pro-pin money on the 15th with another great shot to 4.33 metres. In his victory parade from there Porks was generous enough to let somebody else win the Nearest the pin on the 18th with Johnny Q taking that one after a great shot to the top tier that got inside the mark Dan had set earlier.

After some post-round score checking amongst the mathematically challenged field, there were quite a few adjustments to the results announced on the day. Both Steve and Dan gained an extra stroke and John Quinlan’s GA card went the other way by three strokes, although his club card was correct.

One score that didn’t change was Michael’s whose card was marked with precision by ex-school teacher Stan. This task was made easy by a nice neat eight gashes in a row from holes 3 through 10 and a minus 10 total for Michael. This made him this week’s clear NAGA winner and together with Peps (minus 7) the only player not to score a championship or seniors point.

Dan continued his good form and his adjusted score of +1 was good enough for second on his own. If not for a blip on the 17th, he might have joined Porks at the top of the leaderboard.

CJ was on fire early and hit the half time break on +3 after two double plusses (birdies on 4 and 8). But whereas Porks had pluses on 10, 12 and 14, CJ had losses on those holes and in the end he needed pluses on 16 and 18 to right the ship and finish square for the round. He was joined on that score by Stan who did things the other way around to CJ, minus 3 in the first half followed by a strong + 3 second half.

Stan played well all day and if not for a duffed chip from a dodgy lie on the 15th and a missed small putt on the 18th he might have finished a few better, but then again we all leave a few out there every week don’t we. Good to see Stan back firing and in the points.

Johnny Q’s minus 2 for fourth placed points had a similar spectacular finish as last week, this time with a double plus birdie 3 on the 17th and a near birdie but solid par for a plus on 18. His front nine of minus 4 had been pretty dismal (he may have used a different word to describe it, but this is a family friendly blog).

Craig is hitting the ball well, but he was lamenting after the round that his putting is still letting him down. The scorecard says minus 4. Tee to green it should have been square or better. Targe and Steve also joined their fellow senior Craig on minus 4.

With CJ and Stan sharing the Seniors win on square, Craig, Targe and Steve’s minus 4 was good enough for second placed seniors points. This left two other young gentleman, Bob and Gordo to pick up a third placed seniors point with minus 7.

There was a quicker than usual exit from the course today, with the first group long gone to prepare for their Grand Final events by the time the rest of the field struggled in. This group of Gordo and CJ included a guest, Mick Dunn, who normally plays on Saturday afternoons, but snuck around with us as he had tickets to the game. CJ left with a smile on his face in anticipation of what would be on offer in the food and drinks department at his brother’s. Another quiet day in Priems World I am guessing.

This week it is the October monthly medal. Another chance for those not already qualified to get into the field for the David Primrose Champion of Champions event to be held on our Christmas break-up day on 21 December.

You can check the currently qualified field of 11 on Harry’s website under “Competitions”. Notable absentees at this stage include Brendon, Harry, Dan, Targe, Adam, Stan and both Priems brothers.

Coming off a quiet Grand Final day, I am backing a Priems for the October medal, or if Craig can get his putter going, he might win his third medal of the year, having saluted in June and August.

PS. For those like Harry who took a week off this week, you missed another classic opportunity to play on Ivanhoe sandscrape greens. We all said “WTF? Again with the sand? How many times is the sand needed FFS!” This week it was more dirt than sand, and very “sticky” dirt. Even a short putt collected so much dirt on its travels, you could hardly see the colour of the ball by the time it got near the hole. Hopefully one day we will get a payoff with perfect putting surfaces, but for this week’s golfers, and not just for Craig, putting was a very dirty business.

Results for Saturday, 28 Sep 2024
1st Ryan Porker (+3) 2nd Dan Marie (+1) 3rd Stan Blackshaw (□) 3rd Chris Priems (□) 4th John Quinlan (-2) 5th Craig Cameron (-4) 5th Steven Gervasoni (-4) 5th Targe Mifsud (-4)

Seniors Results: 1st Chris Priems (□) 1st Stan Blackshaw (□) 2nd Craig Cameron (-4) 2nd Steven Gervasoni (-4) 2nd Targe Mifsud (-4) 3rd Bob McDonald (-7) 3rd Gordon Hill (-7)

Nearest the Pin Results: ProPin – 15th Ryan Porker BallPin No 1 – 4th Ryan Porker BallPin No 2 – 18th John Quinlan

While the day’s winner played steady golf throughout, there were some big “2 for 4” shots out there this week, along with a very clear winner of the NAGA.

Brendon rolled in a monster birdie putt at the 4^th, grinning all the way as he walked it in and smiled “eclectic” as he picked it out of the hole and then wrote 2 for 4 on the scorecard.

Brendon is now more than two shots ahead in the eclectic, with Bobby and Raj in equal second place. How is the recovery going Raj? The smile did come off Brendon’s face when he 4-putted the next hole. Funny game golf.

Harry’s shot on the 12^th looked like it was going in the hole (or at least inside Brendon’s nearest the pin effort) but turned out to have rolled about 25 feet past. No problem, Harry drained the downhill birdie putt dead centre and happily wrote 2 for 4 on the scorecard.

Johnny Q played despite being crook (not self-inflicted this time) and while not having a great day, a birdie on the 17^th gave him something to smile about. But better was to come.

The pin on 18 was on the top tier, just. Any putt from behind the hole was liable to roll down to the bottom tier if it went past the hole. Coming up from the bottom tier was near impossible to get the length right. No problems for JQ though. His tee shot made the lower tier (and was good enough to win nearest the pin) and he then rattled the putt straight in to add a 2 for 4 to the 3 for 3 he made on 17. We won’t mention the airy John had under a tree on the second.

But the best 2 for 4 of the day came from Gordo. It left SoS scrambling the depth of the balls bag to try and find enough round things to pay the Eagles Nest prize.

With our eagles specialists Steff, Porks and Peps not playing as much lately, the Eagles Nest had crept up to 11 balls as Gordo got out his gap wedge in the middle of the fairway on the 14^th.

As soon as he hit it, playing partner Dan said “that’s good” soon followed by Steve saying “go in” and it did!

Michael, Harry and Brendon were on the 15^th tee and prompted by Dan and Steve’s urgings had time to turn around and watch the ball’s run across the green into the hole. It dropped at a nice slow pace, a perfect shot.

Amongst all these heroics, Blighty compiled the round of the day with steady golf and 38 stableford points. Apart from a wipe on the 13^th and a bit of trouble on the 17^th, Blighty’s round included five 3-pointers and eleven 2-pointers. Harry only chopped him 2 strokes for the win. Blighty’s form suggests he will lose a few more strokes in coming weeks.

Steve was a victim of the original tee on the third coming back into use, bemoaning the fact that “it is a long way to the ladies from back there.” A couple of gashes on the 8^th and 13^th hurt Steve’s chances of catching Blighty, but his 35 points saw him in second place on his own.

Brendan played a great back 9 with two birdies (12^th and 14^th) to add 20 points to his disappointing 14 points on the front. 34 points was good enough for third place. The birdie on 14 came after his drive just left of the green needed a kind bounce to finish on the green. Instead it hit the path and took a huge bounce onto the lower 15^th tee, from where Brendan hit a great pitch and then made a downhill putt. It looked like it might finish just short but went in with a very last roll, perhaps helped by a gust of wind.

Dan and Michael shared fourth place on 33 points. No great highlights in either round, although Dan’s was good enough to win the voucher for the A Grade inside comp (Blighty won B Grade inside). Michael’s most accurate shot with club in hand was an angry throw of the club after a duffed second on the 16^th. It hit the metal on his buggy in just the right spot to snap the club clean in half. Michael was last seen with Chris in the pro-shop talking repair options and rummaging in his bag to see if he has any vouchers to offset the cost of a new shaft.

JQ’s finishing flourish got him to 32 points for the round and fifth placed points.

Craig tried out a new driver and putter this week. After a couple of missed short putts it looked like it might end up like Michael’s club on the 16^th, but Craig then made good putts on 16, 17 and 18 and said the new putter will definitely be in the bag next week. The new driver was also a winner, with Craig hitting it longer without losing any Old Reliable accuracy. Watch out for Craig in coming weeks, including at the Cobram weekend.

I think the only one of today’s 10 players who hasn’t got a mention for his golf is SoS. Why is that I wonder? “None” was his answer when asked for highlights for the blog. Turns out it was a very solid NAGA effort from SoS, 5 shots behind 9^th place.

For those not distracted by Grand Final day (when, depending on your version of VFL/AFL history there is a rematch of the 1899 Grand Final between South Melbourne and Fitzroy) Harry has us scheduled to play Grand Par. This means your 4-pointers in stableford will count as +2 in Grand Par and anybody with the equivalent of a 5-pointer (for example a Blighty 2 for 5 on the 7th) will get +3 for the hole.

There will also be a whopping $10 jackpot on offer for the Propin on the 15^th.

Results for Saturday, 21 Sep 2024
1st Andrew Blight (38) 2nd Steven Gervasoni (35) 3rd Brendon Mitchell (34) 4th Michael Gourlay (33) 4th Dan Marie (33) 5th John Quinlan (32)

Seniors Results: 1st Andrew Blight (38) 2nd Steven Gervasoni (35) 3rd Michael Gourlay (33)

Nearest the Pin Results: ProPin – 15th Jackpot BallPin No 1 – 12th Brendon Mitchell BallPin No 2 – 18th John Quinlan

Eagle’s Nest Results: Eagle – 14th Gordon Hill

Neither rain, nor snow, nor sleet, nor hail shall keep the golfers from their appointed rounds. Ostensibly coined by Herodotus about 2500 years ago, it was never more true today. Ten plucky members set off with hope in their hearts, and a belief that there was a chance that the weather front would either miss, or, at least, pass not close enough to be a problem. Their hopes held good for a couple of holes, but, then, the rain arrived, accompanied by the occasional gust of wind. Fortunately, the snow, sleet, and hail did not eventuate. However, the wind proved to be sufficient to catch Brent’s umbrella and overturn his buggy. The umbrella ended rather the worse for wear, but Brent was heartened by the fact that it was only a $20 job. Dan’s buggy did not capsize, but his umbrella did a good impression of a fruit-bat when it turned inside-out and separated most of the struts from their hinges. There was a view expressed that it would not be a great day for scoring, and the casual water on the greens made for some interesting short game experiences.

Needless to say, there were a couple of members who had other ideas about the effect of the weather on the ability to make a score. The prime example of which was none other than CJ, who set about moving further into the future the day that he gives up the game. Despite his card sporting three singletons, he was able to counter that to some degree with a birdie on the 3rd which bought him a very nice four points. Another four holes that scored three, and the rest sporting 2 points, made for a total, at the end of the day, of 39 points. Yet another top spot in both the Club and the Seniors Championship. Michael’s marker complained about the lack of excitement as he had to record par after par on the card. He had to do this sixteen times before there occurred, what Michael styled, an ‘unfortunate’ bogey on the 17th. A par on the last meant that he was just one shy of playing the course in regulation in conditions that were somewhat less than ‘regulation’. Thirty-eight points was more than good enough to get second place, putting even more daylight between Michael and the rest of the field in both Championship tables. It also extends his reign at the top of the Order of Merit.

SOS seemed to have a bit of a thing about the second hole on each nine, as he managed to score a gash on both of them, which were just about the only blotches on his card. The miss on the 11th came about in a bit of an unusual way. His drive drifted left into the tree line, and was heard to make some sort of contact. The ball obviously came straight back and finished hard against the base of the pine tree between the roots on the green side. With no preferred lie, the ball was unplayable, and penalty relief was the only option. Despite the set-backs, and having to deal with getting relief from casual water on the greens, SOS still produced a very creditable 34 points to fill third place. Harry’s hands really gave him curry today, and SOS was a bit concerned about what was going on as he fumbled around in his trouser pocket for tees, ball markers, etc. The lack of a reliable grip did impact a few shots, but the main ‘problem’ was the number of putts that caught the edge of the hole, but didn’t drop. As a result, the final total was a mere 31 points, but that was enough for a spot in fourth place for the day. Old Reliable was not quite so reliable today, but reliable enough to make fifth place with his card of 28 points. He’ll take the point, regardless!

Michael does like to brag about what a good shot he is on the par threes. The ProPin was on the 4th, and, although he was just outside the limit, he just had to put his name and distance on the card. However, it was just one of those Danny days, and Dan easily took the money with his shot to 4.56m. Not to be outdone, Dan also got the closest on both of the BallPins on the 12th and the 18th. Wouldn’t you know it, he didn’t make the birdie on any of them, so young Dan did not contribute to the four that were scored for the day.

Gordo made his comeback today, and he owned up to having had a few putts, but this was his first swing of a longer club. He was necessarily a bit circumspect about the length of his swing, and, when all is said and done, the signs are looking promising as he only just missed out on scoring himself a point on the first outing. Craig’s group had pretty much called him a hole-in-one on the 15th. The only problem was that he had over-clubbed it a bit, and the ball hit the pin hard enough to bounce off far enough that Dan was able to get closer for the BallPin (apologies, Dan beat Craig on 18 for the BallPin). Bob had more battery problems today. Only, this time, it wasn’t his buggy that gave up the ghost, it was his hearing aid. CJ thought that he might have to play Dad today when little brother, Rob, lost it a couple of times. There might have even been one case of a UAP when a favourite implement headed for the trees. After a group hug on the 17th tee, they all headed down the steps to the buggies. Except Rob, who took the grassy route, and left an exquisite set of skid-marks down the slope, if not down his y-fronts. A salutary lesson for all, the steps are there for a reason – use them!

Results for Saturday, 14 Sep 2024
1st Chris Priems (39) 2nd Michael Gourlay (38) 3rd Stephen O’Sullivan (34) 4th Harry Boughen (31) 5th Craig Cameron (28)

Seniors Results: 1st Chris Priems (39) 2nd Michael Gourlay (38) 3rd Harry Boughen (31)

Nearest the Pin Results: ProPin – 4th Dan Marie BallPin No 1 – 12th Dan Marie BallPin No 2 – 18th Dan Marie

Dogs were safely on their chains today, although CJ was ‘bragging’ about hitting his 3 wood 325m at the Frog yesterday. Seems the dogs were running loose there, but not so much at the ‘G later in the day. The ‘dome’ had kept the rain away from the ‘Hoe, and the course was looking in fine fettle as the grass and herbage responds to the warmer weather in recent days. Management still granted the option of preferred lie, although there was little cause to call upon it unless there was a need to clear a tree trunk or something. The recent sand application hasn’t quite worked its way in yet, and the greens were a smidgen rough in places, although that cannot take all of the blame for some of the missed putts. Thirteen members made it to the starting blocks, and that included Doctor Dan, who was down on R&R from his stint in Shep. Blighty did have hopes of celebrating his birthday in style, but he will probably be hoping not to have many happy returns of his scorecard. It must be said that he was being very sanguine about the situation.

Dan denies that he has been taking lessons and practising (golf) while hiding away in Shep, although he did admit being tempted by a membership special up there that includes a set of five lessons. If he does take up that offer, then watch out next time he is down to play, because he put in the best round of the day to fill the first spot with his net score of 68. Unfortunately, Dan was not qualified to take out the Medal, and, so, that honour had to be reserved for somebody else. The next best scores were down to Michael and Matt, who presented to the judges with a net score of 71. So, who would be victorious in the case of a count-back? On the face of it, Matt with 37 off the stick on the back with a handicap of 8, would shoo it in over Michael with his 36 and a handicap of 2. Unfortunately, Matt’s erratic attendance meant that, he, too, was not qualified for the Medal, and the honour of the silverware fell into the unlikely hands of Michael. He happily took the points for second place that he shared with Matt.

At one stage, Old Reliable was heard to complain that his drive was going too straight. And, on several occasions, that his putting was not up to putty. However, that did not stop him from producing the third best result for the day with a bottom line of 72. This was helped just a little by a fortuitous gust of wind that helped his putt on the 18th make the extra quarter turn required to drop into the hole. Harry had a couple of shockers early on, one of which was not helped by being hard against the base of the substantial tree, right and short of the second green. After that, things didn’t go too badly, and he was able to scrape home into third place with a net 76. CJ was pretty pleased to manage a par on the first, but, he, too, came a bit unstuck on the second, and managed a ‘fat lady’. Things were going along quite nicely after that until the 17th, where the opera singer put in another appearance. This left him with a fourth place score of 76 as well.

Stan put in a late request for the first group as he had to get away. He certainly kept the whip cracking, because they finished a good two holes clear of the rest of the field. His playing companions were probably not game to loiter, after the events by the first green. While they were on the green, a raven was spotted raiding Stan’s bag, and it took off with one of his favourite muesli bars. With the only weapon to hand being his putter, Stan would have done Jim Bowie proud as he flung the putter, Bowie knife like, and took the raven out of the air, to recover his snack. He ended the round on 78, and sprinted off before finding out that he had garnered fifth place for his trouble. Josh hasn’t played with us for a while, but, mostly, he was not too rusty. He’d probably be ruing the 12 that he carded for the 17th (details are not available) which probably robbed him of a much better placing that the fifth that he also scored for his 78.

There were three balls on offer for the Double Jackpot BallPin on the 7th. With the tee set well back, it was always going to be an ask, but Porks was able to get both the distance and the accuracy to claim the cluster on offer. On the 18th, Craig was almost too embarrassed to put his name on the card with his shot to about 17m from the pin. However, he was saved from the embarrassment of actually winning by Josh, who managed to get one closer. Harry hit a cracker on the 15th for the ProPin and the ball came to a stop 1.16m from the hole and just a smidgen past pin high. After the shot, Craig said, “We are going quarters, aren’t we?”, which was a bit strange, as there were only three in the group. Matt was a bit disappointed when his ball finished about 1.26m from the hole. He managed to sink the putt for birdie, as did Harry, which accounted for two of the four that the team could produce for the day.

Of course, Matt was also embroiled in a fight to the death with Brendon in the (slightly delayed) Matchplay final. With only one handicap stroke separating them, the contest was very much an ‘off-the-stick’ affair. For the first four holes, the pair traded wins, and the early betting was for a close run thing. Then, Matt found a purple patch, while Brendon’s patch turned a nasty shade of brown. This gave five holes to Matt on the trot, and Brendon was going to have to pull some rabbits out of the hat to restore the balance. Unfortunately, the wins proved elusive until the 13th, which gave just the faintest glimmer of hope. On the 14th, Matt sprayed one way right, potentially into all sorts of trouble. With everything to play for, Brendon did exactly the same thing, only worse, and had to abandon his first ball as lost/oob. Matt played a great shot through the trees onto the green, and regulation putted to make par, while Brendon’s five from his provisional resulted in a loss, and Matt waltzed in victorious, 5 and 4. With Raj out of commission for the foreseeable future, the play-off match was declared in Targe’s favour, and the Matchplay Championship for 2024 was finalised.

After leaving a potential birdie putt a little short on the 17th, Harry walked up to ‘tap’ it in and finish the hole with a par. It missed, and Harry abused himself for not taking due time. Only to repeat the performance on the ‘tap’ back. After a break to get the heart rate back down, he put it in for yet another double bogie. Porks was through the green and in a bit of long grass. He made a nice little chip out of the rough, except that it was not his ball. Oh dear! CJ got into trouble for talking too much (as hard as that might be to believe) when it caused a putt to be missed (one of his own!). Josh could be vying for the title of the New Priems if he keeps up his use of trees to keep his ball on the fairway. His first shot on the 8th needed a tree to keep it on the straight and narrow. The second was heading for the pond, only to be saved again by a well placed tree. Inspired by this, Brendon shanked his tee shot on the 9th, and was saved from the Yarra by a convenient tree. He then took out his 2 iron, and fairly smashed one to finish just short of the green. Blighty has been gifted, by a workmate, with a supply of second-hand balls, that he is busily trading for whatever is on offer, while cunningly disguising what is going on by packing them in egg cartons.

Results for Saturday, 07 Sep 2024
1st Dan Marie (68) 2nd Michael Gourlay (71) 2nd Matt Hunt (71) 3rd Craig Cameron (72) 4th Harry Boughen (76) 4th Chris Priems (76) 5th Stan Blackshaw (78) 5th Josh Hunt (78)

Seniors Results: 1st Matt Hunt (71) 1st Michael Gourlay (71) 2nd Craig Cameron (72) 3rd Chris Priems (76) 3rd Harry Boughen (76)

Nearest the Pin Results: ProPin – 15th Harry Boughen BallPin No 1 – 7th Ryan Porker BallPin No 2 – 18th Josh Hunt