What a jolly good time we all had trying to decide who had the best balls. You know what I mean – which ball was in the best place for the next shot. After who knows how many years of scheduling a round of Ambrose competition we finally managed to get well enough organised to actually play it and seventeen members and two guests managed to get around the course without actually coming to blows. There was one report of mutiny in the ranks when Captain Chrispy was over-ruled by his crew on the 13th where they only managed to get a par. Priemsy reckoned his shot would have resulted in a birdie. Didn’t matter though, the team wouldn’t have placed anyway.
The course has softened up more than somewhat and it is a shame that people can walk off the green and leave craters to rival those on the moon with no attempt at repair. But, there were no lost balls due to plugging in the soft patches though there were quite a number left out there from shots that weren’t quite up the hi-diddle-diddle.
Whitey got in touch during the week to ask if it was OK to bring a couple of guests along, Matty Chrimes and Dick (More Comebacks than Melba) Hall. Oh, and by the way, would it be possible that they could be grouped together. As it turned out, that was possible provided that they were teamed with Damo to bring their team handicap into line with the rest of the field. As it turned out, that was all that was needed (Damo to be on the team that is) for them to come out winners of the day with their 62 off the stick for a nett of 55.1. Sounds like Damo could have done it by himself and he was a bit cheesed about their (only) bogie on the 18th. For their trouble, they collected a pair of balls from the depths of SOS’s dilly bag and it seems that, as a result, Matty is inspired (or coerced) into coming back for some more.
For a bloke who wasn’t going to play because there were no points on offer, Mehm, for some reason opted for a morning on the course rather than a morning at home with the family. For his sins, he was teamed up with Harry, the Beast and Blighty. As the low marker, Mehm was the team captain and occasionally had a tough time making a decision between distance and the need to get the required number of tee shots for each team member. After opting for distance on the 8th, he had little choice on the 9th but to accept some extra distance to the green in the interests of balancing the drives taken. As it turned out, his shot to the edge of the green and Harry’s all-the-way putt made the birdie and the team turned at one under par. Three more birdies on the back brought in a card of 64 off the stick and second place with a nett 57.0. The ball apiece for the second place was gratefully accepted by the team.
The ProPin, with a ante of $2 per player, was well worth the getting but for a while there was a little concern that nobody would get within the 5m qualifying distance, though arguably the event should have been nominated as an open event. As it turned out, there was little cause for worry as ever reliable Gordon (aka Moneybags) stepped up and put his drive to 0.71m and well and truly qualified and shut out the rest of the field. There was some discussion as to whether the ProPin was a team event as well but the decision seems to have been determined (by Gordon) in the negative (unlike the referendum in the UK). Gordon even slotted the birdie putt for his team.
The BallPin was located on the 15th and there were a number of shots that gave the marker that Damo put out a bit of a scare. However, the biggest scare came from Chrispy who did manage to get it closer than Damien and so he was able to collect himself a nice yellow ball for the shot.
Such was the intensity of the competition that groups did not repair immediately to the clubhouse but hung around and took great delight in sledging the following groups as they putted out on the 18th. There should have been some on the 17th after the Beast put his drive about a metre and a half past the hole. He opted to take first putt and let it slip by but guaranteed the team at least a birdie and with three more chances for the eagle result. Mehm ran his putt just past the hole to the right and Harry followed an almost identical track and distance. And so, it was up the Blighty to save the day. The putt ran true on line to the centre of the hole and stopped about 5mm short. Close but no cigar.
The 3rd was a bit of a nemesis for some reason today. Dennis had a draughtie and when the shout went up from Chrispy his question was, Hey, isn’t this a team event? All’s fair in love and beer as they say. Dennis did hold the view, however, that it was a bit unfair as the ladies tee was 200m in front of the men’s. Though that probably was a bit of an exaggeration. Still there must have been something going on because Trev and Targe experienced the same fate on that very spot.
The tee markers on the 15th were well forward and for some reason Harry decided to park his buggy off the path and half way up the slope. As he turned away, the buggy capsized and contents spilled far and wide. Mehm reckons he’s never seen so many tees. Harry reckons you never know when you might need a spare.
When Chrispy did his David Cameron and resigned his commission after the ‘mutiny on the 13th’ Noodles expressed the opinion the he was the worst captain since Richie Vandenberg anyway. Perhaps a bit harsh, but whether that is on Richie or Chrispy, I’m not exactly sure. Maybe it was all down to Chrispy distracting his team members by seeking some sort of relief or by shoving his clubs somewhere but presumably into his bag and not to gain relief.
There were a couple of other examples of the quandary engendered by the need to get players names on the drive card and the desire to use the absolute best shot. Dennis needed one more shot on the card when they teed off the 17th and so it was decided to take his shot even though it wasn’t that well placed. The team managed a par. With the weight of responsibility off his shoulders, Dennis put his next shot onto the green at the 18th. Not sure what hole it was, but Ryan had cracked a boomer of a drive to within 10m of the green but a desperate need to fill the drive card necessitated taking a much longer approach from Targe’s effort. Sometimes there have to be sacrifices. Speaking of Targe, he was noticed sidling up to Matty on the pretext of introducing himself but most think the real reason was that he wanted to check whether Matty was shorter than him. Unfortunately, not!
Though the course is generally pretty good there are a few slippery patches and one of these, that was also a bit of a slope, caught Damo unawares and he went down with quite a thump. Chrispy is planning to check the news tonight for mentions of earth tremors. Thankfully, all was good with Damo and when he assured his team mates that he was OK, they showed their relief by having a bit of a laugh. Or at least we hope that’s what it was.
Simon had hoped that the Club shirts would have been ready this week but a minor technical glitch means that they now should be ready for next week. So, those planning to turn up for the Monthly Medal probably would be well advised to stick a brick in the old hip pocket as Simon will be walking around with his hand stuck out.
Registrations for Numurkah are still open and it seems that numbers are still a bit light on. Gordon really needs to know asap so that he can confirm with the Club up there. Cash will be accepted but direct bank transfer is by far the tidiest way to manage it.
For those that might be wondering (other than Essendon supporters) the Editor is reliably informed that the picture is of one Patrick Ambrose. Hey, I forgot the camera, OK!
Results for Saturday, 25 June 2016
1st Matty Chrimes Dick Hall Damien Lee Rod White (62, 55.1) 2nd Mehmet Akdag Andrew Blight Harry Boughen Bill Eastoe (64, 57.0)
BallPin 15th Chris Priems ProPin 12th Gordon Hill