This has been the wettest start to a year almost since Adam was a boy. And the last week has been no exception. A good soaking again on Wednesday and Thursday has the course as soggy as it has been for quite a long time. So much so that there is even water in the ponds and there were no carts allowed on the course. Unfortunately, this meant that Rodger was not able to join us for the final day of the Stuart Clarke Memorial but Rodger was surely honouring Stuart’s memory as we twenty seven members were. There was a fair collection of appropriate Hawaiian shirts on display although there were a few members offering the ‘lame’ excuse – I forgot. It wasn’t as if there weren’t enough reminders put about.
Bob is still on his L plates with his new-fangled buggy and, not only was the remote control giving problems, but also the variable traction on the wet slopes and hills added to his woes. Harry reckoned that the wheels were spinning on his hand pushed buggy coming up the hill at the 18th. Porks has his ball marked with the letters R.I.P. and that almost proved prophetic today as, at least twice, the ball was plugged so deeply as to be virtually invisible other than from a very specific line of sight. So, with the conditions, it might be expected that the scoring would be pretty average, particularly with this being only the second round back from a long break.
At first blush, it looked as if there were two really exceptional scores put together on the day. But, regardless of the score it was the total over the two days that counted in determining the trophy winner. MattA came home with a score of 40 points and the card included two non-scoring holes. This combined with his 36 points on the first round to give the winning total of 76 points. A truly excellent result for one of the Club’s newer members.
Now, it was announced that the yellow headed boy, Jake had done even better than Matt but, unfortunately, the size of the handicap and the effect of the hair dye on his mathematical abilities meant that the official count was really only 38. Still a pretty impressive result given the conditions. This meant that Jake dropped down a peg in the final result and allowed Pepsi to take the second spot on his own with his round of 35 today. Craig also played steady golf all day, barely deviating from the centre-line off the tee all day to produce a 35 pointer to claim fourth place overall.
Dennis and Targe put together the next best cards for the day with a pair of 32s. Unfortunately, Targe had a bit of a bad day in the first round and did not make the podium steps. Allan was a member of a fair posse of players on 31 points which was enough for him to share third with Dennis and Jake. MattH also managed a thirty-one which slotted him nicely into fifth place in the event. Brendon, Porks and JQ rounded out the better rounds of the day to fill the ‘close but no cigar’ category.
JQ might not have won himself a cigar, but he did win himself a couple of balls. He swears and declares that his ball on the 12th must have hit the poly-pipe filler in the hole not to have gone in and finish about a ‘bee’s dick’ past the hole. Pretty big bee, but just the same… He made the birdie and contributed to the nine that were tallied for the day. He wasn’t nearly so close on the 18th but nobody else was able to get closer. The ProPin was on the 15th and, although a few people got on the green, none were close enough to claim the cash. Somebody was within the 5 metres but, unfortunately, the ball was off the green. It was reported last week that Pepsi had scored himself an Eagle but, because it was a social round, there was no nest on offer. Not to be outdone, he repeated the effort today with a chip-in (pitch?) on the 6th for a handy 3 for another 4 pointer. But, wait, there’s more! Noodles also scored an Eagle on the 17th. However, as there was only one ball in the nest, the rules provide that the ball goes to the first on the course and so Pepsi got his solitary ball. Probably helped his eclectic a bit as well.
We also got a few matches out of the way today. Only one left to go in Round 1 and, although Round 2 does not officially start until June MM, if you know your opponent and want to play feel free to organise it. Just let GOATee marshal know. From June MM, if you are both present, you play. Pepsi was a bit perturbed at having to concede 24 strokes to Ken before the round started. Pepsi took an early lead and, although Ken made a few valiant efforts to peg him back, a couple of balls into the pond on the 17th sealed his fate and Pepsi took out the match 2 and 1. The margin of strokes given was exactly the same in the match of the hair-dos. Stef’s buzz-cut was no match for Jake’s bleach job and Jake was able to waltz it in 4 and 3. Brendon played Rob and Rob had something of a purple patch on the front nine to take the turn with a lead of three holes. Brendon found the patch of lavender on the back and on the 18th it looked as if, for all money, they would be repairing to the practice green for a chip-off. Then Rob missed a pretty easy putt to square the last and hand the match to Brendon 1 up.
Rob scored what seem to be the only draughties for the day although Jake was spotted playing one shot from not too far in front of the reds. Rob’s main complaint was that the pictures had appeared on WhatsApp before he even got to play his second shot. The lock-down has had all sorts of side-effects. The Beast had convinced himself that his makeshift practice net would have stood him in good stead. Today, reality kicked the door down. Porks has been playing virtual golf on the PS to keep his touch. The only problem – the playing wand is a lot lighter than a real club and he had difficulty adjusting for the extra weight. Noodles gave Bob some advice on putting during the round and then promptly started three putting which doesn’t really inspire confidence in his coaching ability (if there was any to start with). Ben couldn’t get the ball off the tee with much success but his second shots were crackers. One on the 8th disappeared into the trees over the fence by a very good margin only to miraculously reappear and land in the middle of the fairway. He did manage to stuff up the rest of the hole.
The Birthday Birdie has a couple of visits to make this week but, because of social distancing, he will not be able to venture too close. The wishes from afar will go to Targe and Stan.
Results for Saturday, 23 May 2020
1st Matthew Aforozis(36, 40, 76) 2nd Andrew Petricola(37, 35, 72) 3rd Dennis Ward(38, 32, 70) 3rd Jake Priems(32, 38, 70) 3rd Allan Davies(39, 31, 70) 4th Craig Cameron(34, 35, 69) 5th Matt Hunt(36, 31, 67)
Seniors Results: 1st Allan Davies (31,39,70) 1st Dennis Ward (38,32,70) 2nd Craig Cameron (34,35,69) 3rd Chris Priems (30,35,65) 3rd Gordon Hill (36,29,65)
Nearest the Pin Results: ProPin15th Jackpot BallPin No 1 12th John Quinlan BallPin No 2 18th John Quinlan
Eagle’s nest Results: Eagle 6th Andrew Petricola