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No fooling on 01 April 2023.

Good enough to eat.
I can take a lot more of this!

There was a touch of anticipation in the air as everyone kept an eye out for the possible ‘joke’ that somebody might try when you were unawares. There was a suggestion that reports of last night’s footy results were part of a media/AFL hoax, but, judging by the smiles on the faces of Woneye et al, that idea was easily scotched. The early morning overcast was no joke either, and the first drives down the first hole were just a tad hard to follow. Things should be a bit clearer next week after the clocks go back by an hour tonight. The F1 drivers will probably appreciate the extra hour of sleep that this will afford them. As the morning progressed, the overcast did break up and the sun peeked through on occasion until later in the morning when the weather took on a slightly more threatening pose once again. Fortunately, all seventeen members were well back in the clubhouse by then, and we could sit back and complain about how the greens were too fast, and the greens were too slow, and the greens were a bit furry, and the greens were perfectly fine, and there should be preferred lies, and the lies were perfectly fine (those on the fairway, not those being told). All in all, a fairly normal post-round recap.

As the cards came in, by ones and by twos, you could almost hear the wheels turning and the abacus clicking as the prospect of a three-way count back seemed more and more likely. One voice of reason suggested that the opera ain’t over until the fat lady sings, when, lo and behold, in waltzed Adam and handed in his card with everybody’s favourite number (69) on the bottom line. It was definitely a card with potential, with several doubles and one triple, suggesting that this could be the player to watch one day soon. Next in the ranking were the ‘terrible twins’ Stef and Ryan, who were joined by their long lost triplet, Geoff with 70 net. Stef might have been much better placed if the flat stick had been working for him today. As an example, his drive on the 14th hit the green on the full, obviously with spin, to bounce once and to stop, not all that far from the hole. Far from slotting the eagle, Stef barely managed to get his par. Some of the pin placings today were ‘difficult’ to say the least, so it wasn’t all that surprising to hear that Porks had putted off the green. Except that it was the 8th green, probably one of the flattest on the course. Geoff, on the other hand, joined the group by sinking a 12m putt from the lower deck on the 18th to score a par for the hole.

Harry was content with his lot as he was consistently carding his one-overs. After doing some pruning with what was a well struck tee-shot on the 8th, there occurred something of a slump, that took a bit of shine off the round. A late burst brought a modicum of respectability to the score that finished up at 71. Sean had a bit of a shocker on the 2nd, but other than that his card was, overall, pretty respectable, and he was able to share second place. Blighty’s first hole did not really inspire, although he did claim that he hadn’t held a club for a month other than nine holes during the week. Reducing the strokes taken by one per hole seemed like a good plan, even though it would have needed an albatross on the 6th. All went well until a par on the 4th broke the sequence, and he had to start again on the 5th (we won’t mention how many!). Questions were being asked about Brendon’s placing, with suggestions that he ‘did an Ed’ after winning his match by making a triple on the next hole. CJ was also labouring with the burden of a match, but the smattering of doubles across his card was the most obvious fault with his game, and his 72 net tied it up with Blighty and Brendon in 4th place. Pepsi seemed to have a bit of a problem on the par threes, and he probably wasn’t too happy with his drive on the 17th when he was noticed playing his second from not too far off the 18th green. Dale put in his first appearance for some little time, though it is suspected that he has been playing away (at golf, that is). His round of 73, tied up with Pepsi, and also resulted in his first Championship point for this year.

The first BallPin was on the 4th, with the white tees well back and cramped to one side of the tee box. The prospect of a jackpot seemed good until Stef and Adam came along and made sure that there wasn’t. Adam, being the closer, collected the ball. On the 18th, Porks was the only contender, and that, together with his ball from the ball run, brought his ball stock back up to about fifty. The ProPin was on the 12th, and Harry figured that he had cruelled his chances by hitting one to about 2m on Thursday. Even if he had repeated the performance, he wouldn’t have beaten Geoff, who left his at 1.77m. Geoff didn’t make the birdie, and neither did too many other people, as we only managed to score five for the day.

The last two matches of the first round of the matchplay Championship were completed today. Round 2 matches can be played at any time up to the official start of the second round (06 May), provided that both contestants agree to play. After the start of the round, the ‘both present, you play’ rule will be enforced. The first match today was between Brendon and JQ. It was said that JQ played a ‘treemendous’ round. Anything that could go wrong involving trees, probably did. Balls lodged in trees. Shots stymied by trees. Balls deflected by trees. You name it, it happened. As a result, after about the fifth hole, it was pretty much a one-way street, and the match went dormie six after the 12th. An easy win on the 13th (trees could have been involved) gave the match to Brendon 7 and 5. Brendon’s 7 on the 14th, certainly got JQ’s dander up. CJ had to do battle with Adam, with whom he seemed to be pretty evenly matched. The scoring ebbed and flowed throughout, but the occasional win for CJ was never quite enough to get his nose in front. A pair of wins on the 11th and 12th raised his hopes a little, but Adam struck back and sealed the deal at the 16th, 3 and 2.

The Birthday Birdie has a very special Turkish birthday wish for Mehmet, who might have to restrict his celebrations to the evening, rather than an all-day affair. Whichever way you celebrate, have a good one, matey. ChrisJ raised a couple of eyebrows when he was spotted teeing off with a seven wood. He sconed a few, trying to hit it as far as his driver, but, as it was a brand-new club, he wanted to give it a try-out. Harry was also sporting a new fairway wood, thanks, in part, to the generous gift from the Club recently awarded. An opinion was expressed that Zimmer must have been injected with a gramophone needle, as he talks more during the round than CJ.

After the round, there was the AGM of the Club, that dealt mainly with essential business to complete the last year’s activities. Full details will be circulated in the minutes of the meeting. The new Committee has been installed with a welcome scattering of new faces. A full listing will be posted on the web-site. One position was not filled, that of Social Secretary. It’s not a particularly onerous job for the most part (see the job description that was circulated recently), with the main impost towards the end of the year to arrange the trophy acquisition. But, never fear, the rest of the Committee (and the outgoing SS) would be there to coach and support. If you would like to put your hand up, just slip an email to Craig and Rob, and you will be welcomed with open arms.

Results for Saturday, 01 Apr 2023
1st Adam King (69) 2nd Stefan Belevski (70) 2nd Geoff Lyall (70) 2nd Ryan Porker (70) 3rd Harry Boughen (71) 3rd Sean Farrell (71) 4th Andrew Blight (72) 4th Brendon Mitchell (72) 4th Chris Priems (72) 5th Andrew Petricola (73) 5th Dale Webb (73)

Seniors Results: 1st Geoff Lyall (70) 2nd Harry Boughen (71) 2nd Sean Farrell (71) 3rd Andrew Blight (72) 3rd Chris Priems (72)

Nearest the Pin Results: ProPin – 12th Geoff Lyall BallPin No 1 – 4th Adam King BallPin No 2 – 18th Ryan Porker