We had a guest from the Frog this week – who gave Gordo a run for his money for shirt of the month – and with his Prez brother turning up as well, plus Peps, Bobby, Targe and a few others, the field swelled to twelve after last week’s seven.

The beers were flowing post round thanks to Rob after his tee shot on the 11th. Apparently it nearly got past the red markers, but not quite.

Bobby was alleged to have had two aireys on the 2nd, but swears blind he just touched the ball with the second one and it moved a fraction. With 17 points on the front nine, Bobby was looking good to be in the points, but 15 on the back for 32 wasn’t quite enough and he missed fifth by one point.

For the second week in a row there were no ties and Prez Priems, Raj, Peter, Targe, Peps and SoS can count themselves a bit unlucky to miss the points, although maybe scrub SoS from that list as he suggested his 23 points was his worst game ever.

Frog specialist and occasional Ivanhoe player Chris Priems had 21 points on the front nine but couldn’t sustain the pace and finished with 33 points and fifth place. Out of bounds off the tee on 17 didn’t help his run home. Chris denied all suggestions he was “doing an Eddie” and protecting his handicap for some up-coming events.

The bloke some people call Ryan claimed 4th with 34 points. It looked like being a much better round until over-hitting his approach into the 16th (over the trees from the 14th fairway) and having to take an unplayable lie and finishing with a wipe. Earlier in a hot 10 hole stretch from the 6th to the 13th he had scored 4 x 3 pointers and a 4 point birdie on the 8th.

Whitey played solid all day and if it wasn’t for a couple of unfortunate double bogeys on the 14th and 16th he might have finished better than his 36 points and third place.

Chris James, who has been known to hit them far and wide, was proud of hitting a world record 7 fairways on the front nine and he hit the turn with 23 points. However he only hit one fairway on the back nine and 16 points for a total of 39 point left him just shy of the win and in second place.

Michael managed a 4 on every hole on the front nine and turned with 18 stableford points. After another 4 on the 10th he embarrassingly topped his second shot on 11 (which went about 5 metres and was very nearly an airy). Raj was disappointed to write a bogey 5 on the card. Michael gave himself the proverbial “good talking to” between the 11th green and 12th tee and the result was four birdies over the closing seven holes, a 2 under back nine of 31 off the stick (67 for the round) and 40 points for the win.

If you’re playing next week, save your best shot for the 15th. The ProPin there will be a quadruple jackpot. Ryan, like Gordo a few weeks back, was well within the 5 metres but just off the green. Michael won the ball on the 18th, sneaking one up to the top tier pin.

The big ball story was on the 7th where a double ball jackpot was on offer. Ryan hit a great shot in there and his group assumed it would be easily good enough for the double ball. However it had run much further past the hole than it looked from the tee and on arriving at the green it was discovered that Whitey had hit a great shot in pin-high. Without the benefit of a tape measure, various efforts were made to compare the two and it was decided they were exactly the same distance away and a gentleman’s agreement was made to share the prize one ball each.

With Harry on holidays, there was some concern that this gentlemen’s agreement might not make for easy computer coding of the ball results in Harry’s fancy handicapping system. But no fear, Harry will be back in town at his computer this week and doing the necessary tweaking in case this unusual circumstance happens again.

Meanwhile Peps made a unique contribution to the Victorian government’s environment and recycling policies after finishing the 15th. After a double bogey on that hole, an annoyed smack of the ball with his putter saw the ball fly over the 16th tee into the new can/bottle recycling system in the tennis club car park. People standing in the queue to get their 10 cents per can/bottle refund all agreed that $1 per old golf ball would be a fair price, a bit fairer than the “$four!” that was Peps ambit claim.

Rob added post round that he’d collected $28 from a recent recycling contribution of 280 cans/bottles. To get on board and monitor whether the $1 per recycled golf ball becomes a goer, see https://www.vic.gov.au/container-deposit-scheme.

In other news, big congratulations to Ryan and partner with baby number two due in June.

Also, at end February we will be losing Chris James to an interstate move to Wollongong NSW. Work related, with his employer moving to Sydney, Chris will be trying to offset his sadness at missing our good selves by buying himself a boat and taking advantage of the good surfing on offer up there. Congratulations Ryan and good luck with the move Chris.

Results for Saturday, 20 Jan 2024
1st Michael Gourlay (40) 2nd Chris James (38) 3rd Rodney White (36) 4th Ryan Porker (34) 5th Chris Priems (33)

Seniors Results: 1st Michael Gourlay (40) 2nd Rodney White (36) 3rd Chris Priems (33)

Nearest the Pin Results: ProPin – 15th Jackpot BallPin No 1 – 7th Two ball jackpot shared one ball each between Rodney White and Ryan Porker BallPin No 2 – 18th Michael Gourlay

Due to flooding, early in the week it looked like there might be no play on Jan 13, or perhaps only on 9 of the least flooded holes.

But come Saturday 7 members had a full course to play.

The ground staff were confident enough in their work to say there was no need for preferred lies and overall conditions were indeed pretty good despite the odd mud ball.

Putting on the 7th was interesting. The green had obviously been totally under water and was still brown and muddy. Most putts finished well short.

The lakes to the left of the 4th and in front of the 5th tee were prominent.

Thankfully the tee on the 4th was put so far forward it made the lake less intimidating, although Chris James was intimidated enough by the lake on the 5th to hit it straight in there.

There was also a lovely new bridge to admire on the 4th. Without it there would have been no way to get from tee to green. Even the most skeptical critics of the grounds-keeping at Royal Ivanhoe admitted the bridge was up there with their best work.

Once all the flood talk settled, very soon into the round the buzz around the course was could we beat the world record for lowest ever stableford score to get points (Harry the record is?).

As it happened the field was very strung out with no ties and Stan’s 27 points was enough for solo fifth.

Along the way, SoS had some trouble getting Johnny Q’s score right and John had to do the honest thing and instruct him to deduct a point, thereby missing the chance to join Stan on 27 by that point. Unfortunately John had not brought his Merimbula holiday form with him (40 points and some serious cash for a comp win up there).

Invitations to send stories of other holiday golfing stories brought nothing this week, although Gordo shared a lovely photo of himself already drunk at lunchtime at the Portarlington Mussel Festival.

Adam was the other player to miss points on the day. Chris J snared fourth with 28 points, SoS third with 31, Raj second with 34 and Michael snuck home for the win with 35.

Apart from Johnny Q’s draughtie on the 15th, the major highlight of the day discussed after the round was Stan’s birdie on the 5th. Due to lack of other highlights his partners took turns describing the second shot that went in and around the trees like a laser into about a metre from the hole from where the putt went right in the middle. SoS birdied the 3rd but no details emerged about how he did that. He was too busy enjoying John’s beer.

To entice a few more players this week, we have a ball jackpot on the 7th and a triple ProPin jackpot on the 15th. Raj won the ball on the 18th.

Results for Saturday, 13 Jan 2024
1st Michael Gourlay (35) 2nd Rajesh Mahto (34) 3rd Stephen O’Sullivan (31) 4th Chris James (28) 5th Stan Blackshaw (27)

Seniors Results: 1st Michael Gourlay (35) 2nd Stan Blackshaw (27)

Nearest the Pin Results: ProPin – 15th Jackpot BallPin No 1 – 7th Jackpot BallPin No 2 – 18th Rajesh Mahto

There were no complaints about the weather for the January 2024 monthly medal, perhaps it was a touch hot, but all the talk was the crazy pins, pretty much all of them front left and very close to the edge of the green. The one on the 12th was borderline unplayable.

All 13 players agreed post-round that the front pins made chipping and approach shots very difficult and overall the course much harder than usual.  At least that was the best excuse we could come up with for some ordinary scoring.

The clubhouse leader Raj was looking good for quite a while with a net 72, before Gordo wandered in from the last group with a net 71 to take the medal and book himself into the 2024 Champion of Champions field. 

Gordo was also awarded best shirt of the day.

Raj’s 72 was good enough for solo second, with Peter and Michael sharing third place a shot further back on 73 and Adam and Brendan sharing fourth with 74. Harry then snuck himself a cheeky championship point with 75 for solo fifth.

Gordon’s round included an 8 on the 2nd and a 7 on the 13th but he steadied in the run home, including a great bounce-back birdie on the 14th.

Raj started his day with a great shot into the 1st to set up a birdie, an even better pitch and putt for par on the 2nd and on the 3rd his long range birdie putt was all but in the hole before missing by a millimetre. Alas he struck the dreaded 4th hole tree curse left off the tee and made 6 there and the hot start turned into a bit of a struggle. Raj added two more birdies on the back 9 and was the big mover in the Eclectic, jumping 10 places from 13th to 3rd.

Peter was pleased that his round gave him some points for both the main Club Championship and the Seniors. Apart from matching Gordo with an 8 on the 2nd, Peter’s card was very consistent and suggests once he gets the hang of the quirky Ivanhoe layout he might be seen more often in the points in future.

One of the many measures of the quality of play on the day was the number of birdies (4) was matched by the number of shouts called for after tee shots from Ken (1st) SoS (8th) Steve (11th) and Stan (15th).  Three of those, SoS, Steve and Stan were in the same group with Adam. A deal was done (not sure if this is within club rules?) where the three offenders didn’t buy drinks for each other, the argument being that each cancelled the other out. Then there was concern that Adam might need a taxi home as the drinks were all headed his way.

When asked for his highlights, Chris J said he made a 12 on the second. This blog isn’t long enough to explain how he managed that. Targe volunteered that he made 9 on the 14th after hitting his first out of bounds to the left and then his next into the pond on the right. Brendan volunteered that he 4-putted the 14th. Harry then reminded everybody that the blog was designed to highlight good golf stories, so the question was asked.  Silence.  End of stories.  End of blog!  Shortest ever!

A forgotten story on the day was the handy work of a Jack Russell on the 3rd green. After surveying his putt, Michael placed his ball and in swooped Jack Russell and without breaking stride picked the ball up did a u-turn and delivered it to a very apologetic owner walking the path. After Raj braved spider webs to retrieve the ball for Michael, a close inspection suggested no bite marks and the ball lasted the rest of the round despite a visit to the pond off the tee on the 5th.

There was a beach golf report from a “Skins” game in Golden Beach down Sale way on the 90 Mile Beach. Four club members were involved and Prez Priems cleaned up with 7 skins, Geoff and Josh one skin each and Captain Matty the big doughnut.  In future weeks, the blog will be happy to carry more holiday golf reports from those on a break from the pressure cooker of the hot competition at Royal Ivanhoe.

For those who can make it next week, there will be a jackpot ProPin on the 15th, despite Gordo wanting to claim the money for being within 5 metres but off the green. Michael bunted one down the 4th with his Jack Russell ball to take new the ball on offer there and Gordo snuck just inside Michael to win the ball on the 18th.

Results for Saturday, 06 Jan 2024
1st Gordon Hill (71) 2nd Rajesh Mahto (72) 3rd Michael Gourlay (73) 3rd Peter Sein (73) 4th Adam King (74) 4th Brendon Mitchell (74) 5th Harry Boughen (75)

Seniors Results: 1st Gordon Hill (71) 2nd Michael Gourlay (73) 2nd Peter Sein (73) 3rd Harry Boughen (75)

Nearest the Pin Results: ProPin – 15th Jackpot BallPin No 1 – 4th Michael Gourlay BallPin No 2 – 18th Gordon Hill

Registrations were a bit slow early in the week, but the call to a Grand Sale, and the prospect of some ‘discounted’ points, seems to have inspired the masses into action. In the end, we had fifteen members line up for the final round of the calendar year. The Bureau had forecast the possibility of showers during the morning, and, true to form, the morning alternated between a bit of drizzle and full sunshine in typical Melbourne weather style. About halfway through the back nine, the course was hit by a squally shower that was quite heavy, and that was the straw that broke the camel’s back for Peter, who called it quits after the 13th. As a result, only fourteen made it to present their cards to the judges. The course was in good condition, even if a few of the greens were a bit leafy, and the weather conditions were hardly bad enough to have had a long term effect on the scoring. Captain Matt, had decided that he was going to ‘keep an eye’ on Stan to make sure that any tilt at making it three in a row was legitimate. Not only did Stan take out the ‘feather duster’ award, but Matt also went very close to joining him on the chopping block.

There were a few cards of note that made it to or near the top of the pile. Harry set out with one challenge in mind, and that was to confound Michael, and, at least, be in the Senior’s points. Squares were the result on the first five holes, with a couple of just missed par attempts. The swing got slightly out of groove on the 6th to produce the only minus on the card. The back nine produced another six squares, but the remaining pluses ended the round +3 overall. SOS, on the other hand, finished the first five holes two up, and rounded the corner on that score as well. His only blemish was on the tenth, and another couple of pluses after that also brought him home with three on the credit side of the ledger. Thus, we had a tied result for first place, and Harry was very pleased to have completely confounded Michael by taking out top place in the Seniors.

Second place overall, and second place in the Seniors, went to Geoff who managed to score one up on the way out, and one down on the way in to finish square with the card overall. It was reported that his putting did let him down on a number of occasions, none more so than on the 12th, where he got his name on the card for the BallPin, admittedly a fair way from the hole, and then proceeded to take four putts to finish the hole. This was a complete contrast to the 8th, where he chipped in from well out to make birdie, which represented exactly one quarter of the number that the whole field could manage for the day. In third place, just a single point behind, we had Targe. Targe started off a bit rough, but settled down a bit, and could easily have scored better if it had not been for a little mishap on the 6th hole. As is his wont, he parked his buggy pretty much adjacent to the ball position. Whether it was a shank or a toe, the ball took off at right angles to the intended line and crashed into the buggy, undoing the good work of a par on the previous hole.

Rob seems to have this happy knack of scoring pars (and the occasional birdie), which ends up giving him an ‘unfair’ advantage when it comes to the Eclectic. So, a good scattering of pars, with the resultant plus score, was able to save him, to finish with -3 and the 4th podium spot for the day. He was helped along by a chip in for a square on the 3rd after he had ‘missed’ the green, long, with his fourth shot. Presumably, he used his chipper, which will be one of his selected clubs for the three club challenge (not at the ‘Hoe) next weekend. Raj was not too forthcoming about what he reckoned was a poor average day, but he was perfectly happy to accept the point for fifth place. By and large, Brendon is not too fussed about the points on offer, he is far more interested in the money on offer for the ProPin, and the balls on offer for the BallPin. So, although he did get a point for sharing fifth, he was much more excited about collecting the Double Jackpot ProPin on the 7th (2.74m), and the ball from the 12th, where he squeezed out Harry, who squeezed out Rob, who squeezed out Geoff. ChrisV didn’t get off to a great start from the first tee, and a tendency to head the ball left on occasion did make scoring on some holes a little more difficult. But, given that he has played little in recent times, he was reasonably happy with his -4 and share of fifth.

The remaining BallPin on the 18th was to a pin placed on the lower deck, and, wouldn’t you know it, the top deck seemed to be more easily reached. The man who did make it onto the bottom deck and close enough to win a ball, was none other than Bobbie, who reckoned that it was the only decent shot he had hit all day. This might compensate a little for the fact that he ran over himself, in the car park, with his buggy, and he managed to capsize it twice during the round. Andrew managed to overshoot the green on the 2nd, and the ball finished half hidden in the lomandra. A penalty would have been too much to bear, and a right-handed shot was nigh on impossible. However, a left-handed shot did offer some hope. The ball was extricated, but only barely, and the effort was to no avail. Harry did get a bit hot under the collar at one stage. No, he wasn’t angry, the sun had come out, and he wanted to take off his rain jacket only to find that the zip was jammed in the up position. Andrew came to the rescue and managed to free it, saving H from a sweaty few holes. There were no reported draughties, but there was a suggestion that Stan had executed an airie on the 5th. Although he did not contact the ball, it did move a few centimetres, so does that still count? Matt lined up for a tap-in putt from about 150mm on the 17th, and the ball took off at about 45 degrees and missed the hole. It seems that he hadn’t wiped the face of his club, and there was a piece of twig stuck to the face with a bit of moisture, that resulted in the misadventure.

Results for Saturday, 30 Dec 2023
1st Harry Boughen (+3) 1st Stephen O’Sullivan (+3) 2nd Geoff Lyall (□) 3rd Targe Mifsud (-1) 4th Robert Priems (-3) 5th Rajesh Mahto (-4) 5th Brendon Mitchell (-4) 5th Chris Vinecombe (-4)

Seniors Results: 1st Harry Boughen (+3) 2nd Geoff Lyall (□) 3rd Targe Mifsud (-1)

Nearest the Pin Results: ProPin – 7th Brendon Mitchell BallPin No 1 – 12th Brendon Mitchell BallPin No 2 – 18th Bob McDonald