Yearly Archives: 2014

Must be that the cricket season is over.  Or was it just the beautiful weather and the finely manicured turfs of Ivanhoe that brought out a total of 26 players (or was that 22?).  No wonder the money was in short supply after a liberal application of Chrispematics.  The upshot was that we probably ended up with somebody paying double (or not).  And what about all the accusations about people not paying or nicking off with the loose change.  SOS was all fired up to bring out his pencil and notebook and start taking statements from all and sundry – or does that only happen in Midsomer.

Regardless of the confusion caused by the ‘missing money’ and the fact that this was an Orange Ball Teams day, there were some mighty fine scores brought in and you had to break your handicap to even get a point.  He hasn’t been back in the fold on a regular basis for long but Laurie is certainly making his mark and put in a blinder today to absolutely destroy Oliver in their matchplay round six and five and take out the competition as well with plus 5.  Oliver was gob-smacked that, on the front nine, they were both plus one in the main event but he was three down in the match.  Unfortunately, the hole indices on the front nine do tend to favour the long handicapper.  Maybe we should reconsider whether to use a matchplay index for this event.

RodG, who has been in the woods for a while, came out with a vengeance today and except for a couple of touches of the nervous nellies could easily have taken the top spot.  His +4 was matched by Eddie who has made a stellar start to the year and the handicapper obviously hasn’t been severe enough on him.  His lead in the Championship Table, while not unassailable is getting close to being out of reach for some members.

Keith is another returnee who seems to be going from strength to strength and getting his eye back into the game.  After the debacle with the player count, the handicapper double checked Chrispy’s card but it seems that his maths improved as the day went on, or was it his marker that saved the day.  The break away having a smack at the larger red ball hasn’t harmed RodW’s game and he matched Chris for fourth place.

A veritable swag of players rounded out the podium places with Zimmer, Bill and those two hard workers Dennis and Ben collecting the last of the points on offer today.  Ben also collected himself a ball for the Nearest the Pin on the 15th while the ProPin on the 12th went begging and will jackpot with a healthy ante of $22, though it was almost $26.

There was a reasonable number of birdies today with thirteen all up.  The big bird has been laying well and there are now five eggs in the nest so it is about time some of the big hitters started attacking the 17th again.  A couple of people improved their eclectic on a total of eighteen holes – their first game this year.  And, believe it or not, the Beast improved on three holes as well.  Still, the year has still got nine months to run, so don’t despair just yet.

Oh yes.  Today was an Orange Ball teams event and there were a couple of drop-outs through lost balls and OOB’s.  Yes guys, if you hit off with the Orange Ball you have to finish the hole with it in the cup, not in your pocket.  Anyway, with Laurie on fire and the others doing not too badly, the easy winners with +3 were Oliver, Laurie, RodW and MalA.  Well done chaps!

In other Matchplay results, Ben overcame Will 5 and 3 and RodW downed MalA 4 and 3.  There are still five matches outstanding and they have to be finalised next week one way or another.  Maybe Richard and his opponent have another week depending on the cricket.

Will was noticed rushing madly up the 10th fairway after his shot ricocheted off a tree and smacked Damo, who had bent down to tee up his ball in the 11th, on the forehead.  Damo ended up on his you-know-where as much from surprise as anything else though there might just be a little bruising and a new Titleist tattoo on his forehead.  Damo didn’t have the greatest day of it but he did manage to par the 17th with a drive and three chips.  The one off the path put a few gouges in his wedge as well.  Not happy, Jan!

Ben was admiring Mehm’s shirt because he has one just like it but was wondering whether Mehm had raided his wardrobe or was just using him as a role model.  Rumour has it that living in Sydney has gone to Pepsi’s head as he was in town for the weekend but chose to go to the races instead of playing with us.

Targe must be getting soft in his old age as he was saying today that he doesn’t shoot (duck season is coming up) wood ducks because they mate for life and besides they are a bit tough to eat.  Maybe that comes from mating for life.

Results for Saturday, 08 March 2014
1st Laurie Mannix(+5) 2nd Rod Grant(+4) 2nd Ed Kloprogge(+4) 3rd Keith Delzoppo(+3) 4th Chris Priems(+2) 4th Rodney White(+2) 5th Ben Akdag(+1) 5th Kazim Akdag(+1) 5th Bill Eastoe(+1) 5th Dennis Tiernan(+1)

According to the newspapers, today was the first day of autumn.  Some would argue that there are another three weeks of summer to go.  Regardless, it was a lovely day out there though a few were commenting on how much darker it is in the morning.  A small relief next week as our times have started moving out as we head towards the cooler weather.

The change in seasons did not faze David (aka Morwell) as he was really on fire today and despite a slightly shaky start managed to come in with a nett 59.  All to no avail as far as the medal was concerned but he does rack up the eight points for finishing in front and he improved his eclectic score on no less than nine holes.  Chrispy was heard to say before tee time that he felt that he would line up for back-to-back Medals, which he duly did with his nett 63.  A very fine effort but it does suggest that the handicapping system is not severe enough.  Maybe we need an extra penalty for back-to-backs.  Just joking.

Mehmet thought he was in with a bit of a chance with his nett 64 but it was another turn as bridesmaid again.  MalA also put together one of his better rounds for a while and but for a couple of aberrations he would have been well in contention for the top spot but finished two strokes behind Chrispy.  Laurie played a round of two halves and if he hadn’t taken nine holes to get his act together to finish the back nine in 14 strokes less than he took on the front, two halves like that would have been unbeatable.

The birdies seemed to flow fairly freely today with a total of 15.  Chrispy managed to make the ball bounce at right angles on the ProPin hole (12th) after almost missing the green to take out the money.  MalA got his name on the flag to collect the trophy for the ball hole on the 15th.

There was one official Matchplay match today between Keith and Trevor.  Things were pretty even but Trevor’s gammy leg got the better of him and he conceded when he retired after nine holes.  There was also a Clayton’s second round match between Gordo and Mehm and Gordo was rather pleased that it was make-believe and not for real as Mehm was the notional winner 4 and 3.

Targe was striding confidently forward to recover his ball from the hole when it spun round the lip for a 360 and finished teetering on the lip.  Probably best to wait for the tinkle of the ball in the bottom of the cup, eh, Targe.  One small step for a slug, one giant step for slugkind.  Apparently the worlds first slugstronaut hitched a ride on Stefan’s ball and was last seen heading moonwards a la Minuscule for those that watch ABC TV.

There was a very close call on the 18th tee when a shot from the 17th whistled past one players ear and close to another before striking a parked buggy.  Except for that, there is a fair chance that the ball would have been OOB.  Yes, the bell had been rung but that does not necessarily mean that the players are out of danger.

One of the groups seemed to be having trouble with their counting as all four of them were heard to be shouting ‘four’ over and over.  Brendon, must have had something against the cyclists and walkers on the path by the 3rd as he had a couple of goes at knocking them over with wayward balls.

There was a Committee gathering after the presentations to consider the official end of year accounts and some minor changes to the Club Rules of Association.  In order to ratify the accounts and the Rules changes, there will have to be a Club meeting on 15th March.  This will have the status of an Annual General Meeting and in future years the AGM will be held in March rather than in December at the break-up and presentation day.

The Club also has some donated trophies from the course management.  It has been decided that these will be used for special competitions.  The first two are rounds of golf for 4 people (two must be non-Ivanhoe members) including carts and beers (value approx $150).  These will be contested on the next two monthly medal days (April and May).  The entry fee will be $5 and the results will be determined on Stableford points.  The other trophy is a golf bag valued at about $400.  This will be competed over the month of June which has five rounds in the month.  The entry fee will be $15 and the result will be determined by the best three rounds submitted during the month.  The more rounds you play, the more chance you have of getting three good ones.  The scores will be converted to Stableford for the purposes of the competition.

The Club really would like to get in some new members and we can’t rely on somebody else to do our promotions for us so cast your minds around suitable friends and acquaintances to bring along and join our merry band of burglars.

Results for Saturday, 01 March 2014
1st David Howard(59) 2nd Chris Priems(63) MM 3rd Mehmet Akdag(64) 4th Malcolm Adey(65) 5th Laurie Mannix(67)

Sixteen souls graced the green sward of Ivanhoe on Saturday though only six had taken the time to visit the web-site and indicate their intentions before the page closed.  Still, the competition was obviously fierce and some pretty respectable scores were the result.

The time that Damo has spent coaching the kidlets on how to hit the big red ball doesn’t seem to have harmed his ability to hit the little white one and he hit the ground running to share the honours with Eddie with 39 points.  Although Eddie complains bitterly every time his handicap gets cut he still seems to manage to play to his new one so he should be more than happy about his new mark.

Oliver got off a plane back from somewhere at 0600 and made it to the course in time to play, albeit without a set of clubs and so he had to hire a set.  He claimed that, on the basis that he wasn’t playing with his own clubs, his 38 points should have been enough to win the event.  Quite possibly a fair point, but perhaps AndrewB, who also carded a 38 would have demanded equal treatment so unfortunately for Oliver, the appeal was turned down and both he and Andrew will have to be happy with second place.

If Craig is still short of sleep, it doesn’t seem to be doing the golf any harm with yet another ascent of the podium, right along-side Noodles who is also having a bit of a purple patch.  Another man who has been there or there-abouts in recent times is Bill who came in fourth place though he didn’t improve his eclectic this week even though he did card a couple of the ten or so birdies that were on the cards.  Rounding out the point-getters were Pepsi and Laurie who were just one stroke short of playing to their handicap.

The ProPin on the 12th which had Jackpotted last week went off to Craig who left it 1.73m shy of the mark which was just a bit too long for him the ‘snag’ the birdie.  Nobody put their mark on the ball hole.  There was mention of Jackpot but it is not clear whether that rule applies for the ball.

There were a couple of matchplay matches decided.  Pepsi had to give MalF 19 strokes and it ended up being a reasonable competition with Pepsi eventually prevailing 4 and 2 after a bit of a melt-down by Mal in the 16th.  The other match, between Mehm and SOS was the best match ever (or not) and went down to the wire for Mehm to come in victorious 2 and 1.

Not sure whether the Police ethics lectures have been sinking in or whether SOS has embraced Buddhist principles, but he rescued a dragon (not damsel) fly in distress and carefully placed it on his golf bag to dry out.  Apparently, the dragon’s name was Darren (not Puff) and by the next hole Darren had recovered enough to take flight and rejoin his kin.

Targe has been known to lay off to allow for the curvature of the ball flight after it leaves the club but, on odd occasions, the ball has been known not to take its usual non-linear path.  This might have been the case on the 7th where, it seems, that Targe had to play his second shot from behind where he started after the ball hit a tree.  That would just about have to be double drinks, wouldn’t it?

Results for Saturday, 22 February 2014
1st Ed Kloprogge(39) 1st Damien Lee(39) 2nd Andrew Blight(38) 2nd Oliver Gross(38) 3rd Stephen Butterfield(37) 3rd Craig Sharp(37) 4th Bill Eastoe(36) 5th Laurie Mannix(35) 5th Andrew Petricola(35)

You could be forgiven for thinking that there had been a couple of inches of rain on the course over-night but it seems that the green-keepers are just taking full advantage of the allocation from the Yarra or where-ever they are sourcing the water from these days though it is hard to imagine that the new storm-water system would be contributing much given the lack of precipitation over the last several weeks.  Still, if the course was too dry and bony there’d probably be comments about that as well.

There got to be a bit of warmth in the air and the humidity was up a bit as well so a few people got a bit sticky.  Not to mention the flies that were a bit sticky as well.

No flies on Targe though as he shrugged off the softness underfoot, the heat and humidity and the flies to take out the event with plus three points.  Nothing spectacular, just good steady golf and squaring over half the course.  So not a lot of minus signs on the card.

He wasn’t out in front by too much though with a fair posse right on his tail just a single point behind.  Zimmer, Eddie and Brendon all started out well but seems to have faded just a little on the back nine.  All three had the same results out and back with plus 3 and minus 1.

An even larger group of likely types came just another stroke back and included Craig, RodG, Mehmet and Keith.  Three of the four had very even halves but Keith’s disbelief at how well he was playing got the better of him and he turned a plus five on the front into a minus four on the back to finish in the middle of the field.

The podium got to be pretty crowded today with another three handing in square cards and a further four coming in with minus one.  Which sort of begs the question, just who didn’t get points today?

The ProPin was on the 4th and was somebody heard to ask why was it put on there?  Well, what do you know, it didn’t go off and so there will be a Jackpot for the hungry types to fight over next week.  Eddie is keeping up his supply of balls by taking out the Nearest the Pin on the 15th.  There was also a swag of birdies today with a total of 14.  Craig didn’t do his Eclectic score any harm by gathering four (yes 4) in a row between the 8th and the 11th.  Not bad for a bloke who claims to be not getting too much sleep (wonder why that would be?).  Maybe he dozed off and that helped his game.

Craig was playing Eddie in the Matchplay and that run turned the whole match around and it ended coming down to the wire all square and so the result had to be decided by a chip-off.  Neither chip inspired much confidence, but Craig was able to hold his nerve to sink the putt and take the match.  In other matches, RodG took on Chrispy and it was nip and tuck until the last two holes before RodG finished victorious, 2 up.  Gordon and Ken also did battle to an even closer result with Gordon clinching it on the last, 1 up, after Ken’s chip teetered on the brink of the hole but didn’t fall while Gordon calmed his butterflies and sank the putt.

Laurie had reason to curse the golf gods after a drive on the third finished close by one tree with only a narrow gap between that and a second.  A nicely executed chip navigated the gap only to finish right at the base of another with absolutely nowhere to go from this one.  Brendon was playing in front of MalA again today and had a touch of the nervous nellies when Mal’s shot into the 14th finished uncomfortably close to his buggy.  Fortunately, no damage was done.  And any way, lightning never strikes twice – does it?

Brendon was also hitting the ball out of sight for most of the day.  This was particularly the case on the 17th where he was noticed searching diligently in grass that was as high as an elephant’s eye.  Alas, to no avail and even if he had found it it is doubtful whether it would have been playable.   While on the subject of searching for balls, Bill says he wants a new set of playing partners because the ones he had today didn’t search long enough.  He reckons it was more like five seconds than five minutes.

Results for Saturday, 15 February 2014
1st Targe Mifsud(+3) 2nd Kazim Akdag(+2) 2nd Ed Kloprogge(+2) 2nd Brendon Mitchell(+2) 3rd Mehmet Akdag(+1) 3rd Keith Delzoppo(+1) 3rd Rod Grant(+1) 3rd Craig Sharp(+1) 4th Malcolm Adey(□) 4th Bill Eastoe(□) 4th Oliver Gross(□) 5th Malcolm Fleming(-1) 5th Gordon Hill(-1) 5th Laurie Mannix(-1) 5th Chris Priems(-1)