Monthly Archives: May 2014

To start off, our valiant Tee Marshall looked as if he was going to have to declare the second group the first group as the numbers were fairly light on the ground and it seemed that nobody wanted to be first cab off the rank.  Maybe it was the arduous prospect of having to carry the marker pins all the way to the 12th and the 15th which were the nominated holes.  In the end, Blighty (was) volunteered for the task and just to be sure, his playing partners were detailed to be sure to remind him at the appropriate time.  As an extra precaution, the following group on the 11th green put in an additional reminder.  Lo and behold when they reached the 12th green, the ProPin marker was nowhere to be seen.  Safely ensconced in Blighty’s bag, it was.  And what happened at the 15th?  The following group had teed off and headed up the fairway to the green to spy none other that the big B walking across from the 16th tee with the NTP marker.  Nuff said!

Not sure whether there was an isolated shower over the course overnight or whether the sprinklers had been in use but there was a bit of water lying around in places and there were quite a few wishes that preferred lies were the rule with muddied balls affecting (or in some cases not affecting) the run of the ball.  Whether this was a contributing factor or not is hard to say, but the scoring didn’t really set the world on fire though the range of scores was remarkably small.  So much so that everybody who played scored points.  Then again, isn’t that what a handicapping system is supposed to do – level the playing field.

So, the big point scorers (and handicap losers) today were those two foreigners, Brendon and Oliver who came in with +1 apiece.  Oliver was creaming his drives despite some back twinges but on the first couple of holes his short game let him down.  Then he changed his putting style – he called it a paintbrush grip but not too many painters would own up to it perhaps.  Whatever, it allowed him to pull off some pretty spectacular putts.  One set some sort of a record by travelling further around the rim of the cup than it did straight along the ground – exceeded 360 by a fair margin!  Brendon started off well on the front nine and managed to improve his eclectic tally but the strain was too much and he faded a little on the back.

There was a five way tie for 2nd place that required a score of -1.  The happy quintet included Goroo, Bill, Mostyn, Damo and Harry.  Actually, that’s Gordo but Chrispy’s tiny hand was frozen this morning and his ‘D’ looked more like an ‘O’ on the tee sheet.  Gordo reckons Harry could have had a much better round as he counted four of the first seven holes missing a plus by the merest of a couple of inches.  Damo was also chuffed to be scoring points without further murdering his handicap and, just in case you don’t already know, he is on 5.

Then there was a quartet of players just a point further back including Chrispy, MalA, SOS and ChrisV.  Interestingly, three out of the four had a square nine on their card.  Just missing out on the barber-shop quartet was Blighty who will not be missing out on the barber-shop as his trouble and strife had him booked in for the afternoon.  Not sure whether Andrew is suffering some sort of mid-life crisis but he was heard discussing ways to get rid of grey hair.  And last but not least, the only two players left, Targe and Ryan brought up the rear and collected the last point on offer.

After all of the kerfuffle with the pin markers both trophies did go off.  Chrispy got close enough on the 12th to get his name on the board and reckoned he couldn’t believe that nobody else had managed it.  There were others who got onto the green, just not close enough, and he collected almost enough dollars to offset his outlays with the Club today.  Damo scored himself a ProV1 on the 15th.  The birdie count wasn’t fantastic this week with only 7 being plodded.  One of these had the Eagle shaking in its boots when Gordo chipped one that ran around the cup on the 17th and finished less than 100mm outside the hole after having had a very good look inside.

Today was week one of the June Bonus Trophy Event and there isn’t anybody with a run-away lead.  For those of you that weren’t here today, you still have two weeks in which to register and pay your sub though the longer you leave it the fewer chances you have to get a good one in the mix.  Despite some concerns the trophy was not left sitting on the wall outside the club-house but was securely tucked away inside out of harms way.  And, just to clarify things, today’s scores will be converted to effective Stableford points by adding 36 to your points score.  Next week, please keep your Stableford points score as well as your Stroke score.

During some discussions about gauging whereabouts on the green the pin was from the tee, it was opined that it was more difficult when Targe was in the group because he always looked further away than he really was.

Results for Saturday, 31 May 2014
1st Oliver Gross(+1) 1st Brendon Mitchell(+1) 2nd Harry Boughen(-1) 2nd Bill Eastoe(-1) 2nd Mostyn Gregg(-1) 2nd Gordon Hill(-1) 2nd Damien Lee(-1) 3rd Malcolm Adey(-2) 3rd Chris Priems(-2) 3rd Stephen O’Sullivan(-2) 3rd Chris Vinecombe(-2) 4th Andrew Blight(-3) 5th Targe Mifsud(-4) 5th Ryan Porker(-4)

After the run of Indian Summer that we have been having over the last fortnight, maybe the weather is starting to turn and we will start to move into a proper winter pattern.  There were signs about this morning, there was a bit of a nip in the air (no not the JAL A380 flying over-head),  there was quite a bit of dew on the fairways and greens and as the sun crept over the cloud-bank there was a bit of steam rising from the tomb-stones at the tees.  It wasn’t a day to be skulling your shots as anything along the ground pulled up very smartish but then if you got a bit of loft the ground was soft enough to take the sting out of it as well.  With the tees located to the backside for the most part you would have to say that the course was playing ‘long’.  And that was sort of reflected in the scores or was everyone just playing cagey and protecting their handicap.

There was a lot of discussion about the announced winner’s score and the effect on his handicap but it seems that a combination of an error in calculating points and untidiness in filling out the card resulted in the claimed points being agreed but in error.  As a result, Eddie is still the ‘winner’ but he has been joined by Dennis and Noodles who all finished officially on 36 points to share the top spot.  You’ll have to bring one of those balls back, Ed.

It was something of a baptism by fire for Dennis who joined us for the first time in a while away from his duties at the Darklands and he would have streeted it in it it wasn’t for the five (yes five) gashes that graced his card.  He was helped more than somewhat by three birdies one of which was down to a putt from off the green on the 7th.  Oliver reckoned it would be longer than all his putts for the round combined.  Just to prove it wasn’t (or was) a fluke, Dennis chipped in for a par on the 8th.  Almost enough to compensate for the draughtie on the 3rd, hey Dennis.  Welcome back.

Moving up into second place with a creditable total (for the day) of 35 points were Mehmet and Brendon who played very similar rounds of two halves using the front nine as warm up and coming home blazing on the back.  Maybe there is a message there.  Mehmet will be able to feed the kids tonight as he collected the Jackpotted ProPin on the 12th having left it 31cm (or was it 38cm?) from the hole.  One of the groups behind thought that he must have written the details in Turkish but it turned out that the cardboard was upside down but it looked much the same either way.  Mehm and Gordo had a bit of a flutter on the 18th about whether either of their balls had gone in or who would be the closest.  Surely Gordo couldn’t do it again?  But the upshot was the downshot to the left that showed Mehm just that little bit closer and in line with a chance to collect more moolah from the inside ProPin.

Just one point further back was Targe who continues to be there or thereabouts but who has (along with everybody else) a fair bit of catching to do to make up ground on Eddie.  There might be a chance to do a bit of that over the next little while as Ed tells us he will be flying about the country with his birds during the ‘pigeon’ season.  When somebody asked how come the birds were so big, some (un)kind soul suggested that it was because they were full of hot air.

Chrispy didn’t hang around for the presentations as he had to rush off to support his team and might not have expected to count so highly in the rankings

And, completely unexpectedly, those elevated into the dizzying ranks of point scorers were that trio of good guys, Snags, Harry and the Beast.  Sounds like a good name for a Breakfast Radio show.

While on the subject of the Beast, he was the one to get his name on the marker for the Nearest the Pin on the 4th and collected a ball for his trouble.  The overall lowish scores didn’t seem to affect the birdie tally too much with 15 all up but then there was Dennis.  Another of the trio, Snags, played his matchplay round against Zimmer and although it wasn’t a match that was graced by great golf Craig came home quite convincingly 4 and 2.  The Matchplay is getting down to the pointy end now though there are still a few matches to get out of the way shortly.

Another player who had his share of troubles out there was Brendon who also scored a draughtie somewhere out on the course.  It has also been reported that a couple of members were shooting the breeze together but while in adjacent cubicles in the Men’s.  It seems it wasn’t only the conversation that was ripe.  And was that the cleaner seen making a quick exit?

The Birthday Birdie has been out and about and a number of members were noted scoffing Devonshire Teas to mark the event that took place this week.  Twenty-one is it Gordo?  And in the next couple of days Targe and MalA will be fronting up to welcome another milestone on the Road to Retirement.

There was an executive decision to declare next Saturday as part of June and extend the Bonus Trophy event to five weeks.  The rules are pretty much spelt out in the page headline but one of the main points is that you can join the event at any time until the start of the third week (14 June) but any cards before the entry fee is paid will not be eligible.  You can only ‘bet’ on your future prospects.

Now, because of a slight software glitch, the Eclectic table was not updated for the first week of the Autumn Cup.  This has now been fixed and, hopefully, it is all tickety-boo.  If you think there are any more anomalies, please let the handicapper know and he will investigate your claims.

On another note, today’s result reinforces the need for players and their markers to check the individual hole scores and points allocated rather than just the total strokes and points tally for each nine and/or overall.  It only takes a couple of moments to read them back.

Results for Saturday, 24 May 2014
1st Stephen Butterfield(36) 1st Ed Kloprogge(36) 1st Dennis Tiernan(36) 2nd Mehmet Akdag(35) 2nd Brendon Mitchell(35) 3rd Targe Mifsud(34) 4th Chris Priems(33) 5th Harry Boughen(32) 5th Bill Eastoe(32) 5th Craig Sharp(32)

The prospect of sausages and burger patties was obviously enough the attract a couple of players who weren’t able to make it last week and despite some of the scores from last week, the majority of the first-timers showed as well.  The weather was definitely much kinder this time around and the warm spell and no further rain allowed to course to dry out and the greens were generally voted as being on the slick side.  This didn’t seem to make a lot of difference to the chance for birdies though as there were 14 reported including at least one by the Beast who continues to improve his tally in the eclectic.  He’ll just about have to start working on the eagles from now on though as there aren’t too many of the smaller fry left.

Well, the lead was there to defend, and defend it he did.  Whitey suffered a bit of a downturn after last weeks sterling effort but still came home with a respectable enough -2 to end the double round with a +4.  All he has to do now is to extract the silverware from the grasp of his mate Dick and bring it in so that the Committee can arrange to get it suitable engraved for posterity.  In the meantime he will just have to be satisfied with his name in lights in the Hall of Fame.

Ed reckons he worked out what he was doing wrong with the scoring on the 6th and got it right this week.  He was square (score not attitude) this week and rolled into second place just behind Whitey with +3.  This collected him a fair swag of points in both Championship tables without too much damage to his handicap.  Why is nobody surprised?

A bit of a gap then to third place that was filled by Harry who managed a couple of ones over the two weeks – one down and one up to finish the event just nicely square.  If not for several three putt greens, there could have been quite a different story to write today.  Maybe the name of the game should be changed to ifonly.

Bob started the round with a putt on the first that hit the rim of the cup and did a 180 before finishing a couple of inches out.  You can imagine the sort of response that elicited.  Just think of the same sort of thing happening several times more during the round.  Oh, the ifonlies!  Still a pair of -1 isn’t too bad a result and that was shared by ChrisV who seems to have settled into his new handicap nicely and continues to gather a few points.

Last, but by no means least on the podium for this event was Mehm and Damo with a couple of -3.  Mehm was steady with a square today but Damo reckons he was feeling the pressure of his five (5) handicap when, at one stage, he was one over par but 2 down.

The other event today was the Bonus Trophy of a round of golf for four people with carts and a beer afterwards.  And the winner was – Blighty.  Andrew came in with a +2 which was the best score for the day and so all he has to do now is find three mates (two non-club members) to share the luxuries provided courtesy of the Course Management.  There is an expiry date, so don’t dilly-dally.

There was one Matchplay match contested today.  Bill the Beast was back on deck for the first time since the grease and oil-change on his knee and lined up against Pepsi who was down on one of his visits from the Sin City.  Pepsi was victorious 2 and 1 but in no way can Bill blame the reworking of his knee.  Apparently, it was Pepsi chipping in on at least two occasions and then having a ball that was heading for the Yarra hit a tree and bounce back into play that really broke the camel’s back.  Talk about Kill Bill.

Speaking of (cl)assy shots, Brendon skinnied a wedge from behind the hazard on the 17th that also looked to be heading for Dights Falls when it also hit a tree right on the fence-line and bounced back to just off the green.  A chip and a putt sealed the par.  Go figure.

Gordo managed to put his drive on the 12th onto the green close enough to win himself a ball in the Nearest the Pin.  Now, it seems that as Gordo was addressing the ball to putt, it moved by some other means (wind, gravity etc  etc) and Gordon applied a penalty as used to be the case in these circumstances.  However, there has been an exception added to Rule 18.2b whereby, if it is known or virtually certain that the movement was not due to any action of the player, the ball can be played from the new location with no penalty.  A small consolation for Gordo that his round was not quite as disastrous but not enough to change any result.  The 18th proved to be too hard to reach today and the ProPin was not collected so a Jackpot again next week.  This is getting to be a bit regular but Pepsi does not think there will be enough in it to justify him coming back from Sydney next week.

It’s amazing the conversations that go on.  Chrispy opining that he was thinking of buying a sports bra?  Mehm being nice during the round because Oliver was in his group?

Gordon had to rush off to get down the Coast somewhere to prepare for a half-marathon or something similar tomorrow.  Lets hope its out and back and that he doesn’t need to run back to the start.  The Birthday Birdie hopes that he doesn’t wear himself out too much to have a bit of a celebration during the week.  Happy Birthday Mr President but Marilyn won’t be available.

Don’t forget about the June Best Three competition.  All you have to do is ante up $10 and play at least three of the four weeks in June to be eligible to win a very nice tour bag for the best tally of Stableford points (Par scores converted) posted in the month of June

Results for Saturday, 17 May 2014
1st Rodney White(+6, -2, +4) 2nd Ed Kloprogge(+3, □, +3) 3rd Harry Boughen(-1, +1, □) 4th Bob McDonald(-1, -1, -2) 4th Chris Vinecombe(-1,-1 -2) 5th Mehmet Akdag(-3, □, -3) 5th Damien Lee(+1, -4, -3)

Is the course open?  Yes, but there will be no inside comp.  It’s going to rain all day.  It’s about to clear any time.  We’ve got a quorum, we can have a comp.  Could be some easy points.  A lot of people will miss out if we play.  This is just a sample of the palaver that was going on at the Club at about 0700.  In the event, the radar carried the day and it was decided that the round would go ahead as the numbers were surprisingly high for what the outlook was early on.  As the groups, half sloshed their way down the fairways, thoughts turned to what might be the score to have at the end of the day.  Somewhere about square or a bit either way seemed to be the popular guesstimate.

Just goes to show that the conditions are not necessarily an indication of the potential for people to score.  This was certainly the case for our clear Club-house Leader, none other than Whitey who also seems to be trying to prove that he can grow a beard.  A fantastic effort, after going OOB on the 3rd and eventually turning with -1, he absolutely demolished the back nine to equal par for the nine and return +7 points.  That must be going close to being a record, making the round a PB by quite a number of strokes.  And, as an aside, it will cost him at least 2 strokes regardless of the final outcome next week.

Just a little further back than first thought is the redoubtable pigeon fancier, Ed, who seems to have a bit of trouble distinguishing his elevens from his tens having claimed a stroke on the 6th two weeks in a row.  Still, +3 has him well within striking distance but if he does manage to snare this one his Championship Points tally would really be putting the pressure on somebody to catch him.

Another week and Damo proves that the lowering of his handicap is no obstacle to being right up there.  The break was a bit smaller this week but still a break and with luck and some well placed sledging he could easily upset the apple-cart of the two leaders.

The next group have a bit of work to do with a shared score of -1 and a turn-around of more than seven points required to collect the silver-ware.  However, Par is the sort of competition that can bring big swings so ChrisV, Oliver, Harry and Bob shouldn’t give up the ghost just yet.  As for the rest, perhaps they should hope for a major out-break of flu or gastro-enteritis amongst the leaders.

But, it will be worth coming next week, even if you didn’t play today.  Because of the confusion around the start, the bonus trophy event was post-poned for another week so even if the silverware is out of reach or you didn’t play today it will still be worth turning up for your chance to enter and win the round of golf for four with carts and a beer afterwards.  Only $5 will get you a place in the contest.  There will also be a bar-b-q afterwards so an even greater reason to turn up.  To help with the catering, please go to the web-site and register (coming or not) so that we can warn the caterers if we are going to be inundated (by people – not rain – we hope).

We had a prospective new member along today in the person of Andrew Hall who just happens to be Dick’s brother.  Welcome Andrew and we look forward to seeing on a regular basis, which is more than we have been able to say for Dick in recent times.  There was quite some discussion as to whether Andrew was younger/older/better looking but in the end there was no firm decision though it was opined that from a distance (possibly a fairly large one) he could be mistaken for Blighty.  And wouldn’t you know it, as a guest, Andrew entered the ProPin and managed to get within the distance (not by much it must be admitted) and scooped up the Double jackpot on offer.  He wasn’t persuaded by the announcement of “Club Rules” that visitors had to share the pot with the Captain/President.  The Nearest the Pin on the 4th for a ball was well contested but in the end it was Damo who got the nod and picked up the ball.  And, after last weeks dearth, there were 12 birdies this week while the Eagles Nest went unmolested and builds slowly towards a reasonable number.

Chrispy kept his playing partners entertained while showing off his skills as a ventriloquist – at least it sounded as if he was saying something even though his lips weren’t moving – or maybe it wasn’t his vocal chords that were vibrating.  Anyway, he managed to pull a shot from somewhere in that region of the anatomy when he played a shot from the practice fairway over the trees by the 16th green and went close to landing the ball on top of Harry’s.  The plug mark suggested that you would have been hard pressed to fit a cigarette paper between the two balls.  The near vertical landing meant that Chrispy’s ball finished only a few hundred mm away.

Ed managed to lose one of his hats (while he was wearing it) and Ed doesn’t even come from Tasmania.  Perhaps that was what distracted him from his scoring on the 6th.  Maybe some kind soul will hand it in at Lost Property though it is obviously very valuable if the plaintive cries that were still rising as everybody was heading for the car-park were any guide.

Zimmer had a close call on the recent weekend away and showed up with a slight re-arrangement to his forehead after a practice swing by one of his playing companions went more than a little too close the Akdag visage.  Luckily the damage was not too severe and Zim will have another war story to add to his collection.  There was another close call today on the 10th tee when Bob’s cart started to roll off down the hill.  Despite cries to ‘leave it’, Bob took off like Usain Bolt and crash tackled the cart halfway down the hill leaving his companions more than a little concerned for his well-being.  Bob picked himself up and fortunately seems to be little the worse for wear though it is understood that the Match Review Panel is investigating the legality of said tackle.

Brendon announced that he would have get on home as he was ‘on a promise’ however it seems that it was another sort of promise after a late night and an assurance that we were unlikely to play and he would be home early.

The Birthday Birdie has had a quiet time of it over the last couple of weeks and once again, no celebrations in the coming week.  There have been some hints from certain members that there might be something in the wind (and not referring to Chrispy).

Condolences also to the O’Sullivan family for the recent passing of Stephen’s mother.  The Club’s thoughts are with you at this difficult time which must be tempered only slightly by the recent news of impending parenthood.

Results for Saturday, 10 May 2014
1st Rodney White(+6) 2nd Ed Kloprogge(+3) 3rd Damien Lee(+1) 4th Chris Vinecombe(-1) 4th Oliver Gross(-1) 4th Harry Boughen(-1) 4th Bob McDonald(-1) 5th Mehmet Akdag(-3) 5th Chris Priems(-3) 6th Tony Mifsud(-4) 7th Brendon Mitchell(-5) 7th Stephen Butterfield(-5) 7th Gordon Hill(-5) 7th Targe Mifsud(-5) 8th Kazim Akdag(-6)