Monthly Archives: December 2015

It is not known whether any of the Hobbits managed to make it from Middle Earth to Ivanhoe this morning, but there was at least one Orc that was more than happy to lie in bed listening to the rain on the roof and imagining the sounds of the downpipe gurgling its contents into the water tank.  But, if anybody did make it and played and want to be credited with a social round, just let us know and your wish shall be granted – with appropriate authentication, of course.

With a whole new calendar year forthcoming, there is a lot to look forward to and it is an appropriate time to make those New Year resolutions.  The only problem with New Year resolutions is that, by and large, they are only of any value if you actually stick to them.  There could be the usual ones like giving up the smokes, limiting the drinks, being nice to the other half that would help your quality of life; but perhaps we should think of ones that will improve the quality of golf.  Maybe things like, practice more, swear less, slower back-swing, full follow-through would help to improve the scores.  Perhaps things like fill divots, repair pitch marks, cut out time-wasting would help to increase the enjoyment of the game for all.

So, whatever your resolution for the coming year, thank you for being part of the Club in the departing year and we look forward to seeing you on the tees in 2016.

To get things off to a cracking start, can we please get an indication of numbers for the January Monthly Medal on 02 January either by email or through the Registration App.  We had some great turn-outs through December and would like to keep up the pace to get the year off to a flying start.  Also, please note that the tee time is earlier than it has been over the last few weeks.

There were fifteen members eligible for the Champion of Champions and all but a couple turned out for the fray despite the threatened heat-wave conditions.  No only that, but another seven turned out for the Chump of Chumps and one even brought along a new member.  So a big welcome to Greg Harris who doesn’t have a handicap but plays like he should have a fairly serious one if his first card is anything to go by.  Fortunately, there was a bit of high cloud that hung around and probably helped to keep the conditions a little less sapping, at least until the round was finished and the air-conditioning and cool drinks could be thoroughly enjoyed.  But, there was a certain amount of gnashing of teeth going on because we managed to card 18 birdies and one eagle which would have counted nicely into the Eclectic table early in the season.  However, as it was a declared Social day, there were no points, no handicap adjustment and no improvement to the Eclectic.  The eagles nest was raided and Chrispy collected four balls for his effort on the 3rd.  Apparently, he has done it there before with a slam-dunk but this one required a couple of bounces to ensconce itself into the hole.  Pepsi reckons he called it as soon as it left the club, or maybe a bit after, but who’s counting.

In the end, the man who did it easy, regardless of whether the event was Stroke or Stableford was JohnQ who seemed pretty pleased with his swag of silver-ware from what had been a interrupted campaign what with all his gallivanting around the globe.  It seems that he will be off again shortly and so his smiling face will be missing from our ranks again – until he wants to come back to win some more trophies. And he got off scot-free with a break of four strokes and a win.  Still, if a man in the legal trade can’t make the system work for you, who could.

Pepsi also had a little break with his 38 and if he hadn’t taken nine holes to warm up then he could easily have been hoisting the trophy.  A two under par on the back nine is a fine performance in anybody’s terms.  And that included a couple of one point results.  Targe, Ed and Dennis were just the single point behind Pepsi.  Dennis had his ups and downs during the round both in golfing parlance and in form.  Plus, he had what must the the conundrum of the day with his ball finishing in a most unusual position from his tee shot on the 5th.  Still, he managed to play it as it lay and managed a creditable 6 on the hole

Chrispy and Trev rounded out the list of those who might have had a vague chance of putting in a claim for glory in the Champion of Champions.  Meanwhile, in the second division, better known as the Chump of Chumps, Harry and Simon led the field with a fairly respectable 34 points.  Simon was consistent between halves but Harry had to recover from a fairly disastrous front nine that netted only 11 points.  A PB-equalling back nine saved the day but all those pars and birdies have gone to waste.  After last week’s victory, Brendon was off the pace just a little but his beady little kiwi eye has that look in it that he just might mean business this year.  Blighty was right there alongside Brendon.

Michael is still having a little problem from his shoulders but has a bit of trouble restricting his back-swing from its usual fullness though it does seem that there has to be a bit of pain to make an effective shot.  A small outburst on the 13th after a ‘chunked’ shot that finished on the green had his partners wondering what the source of the disappointment was.  Bob also had some problems on the 13th and he had to call for his driver (Trev) to pass him another ball after the first disappeared, presumably, into the hazard.  The fate of the second ball was also a bit unclear from a distance.

Chrispy reckoned he was thinking of building a aviary on account of all the birds that Pepsi was gathering on the back nine.  Ryan also scored a bird on the 17th after his tee shot looked to be heading for the Yarra except for an intervening tree that pushed it back into play.  A pitch onto the green and a putt sealed the deal.  So, whilst he didn’t finish anywhere today, at the end of the day it looked like he might need a small truck to get his trophies home and almost certainly will be looking to an extension on the mantel-piece.

It was decided to have two ProPin competitions today and the selected holes were the 12th and the 18th.  As is often the case, one of them, to whit the 12th, went to the Eddie Benevolent Fund.  The other, to a very trickily placed hole on the 18th, went to Yours Truly.  At least, that is what was announced but it seems that this is an alias favoured by President Pepsi.

The Christmas lunch, catered by the IPGC kitchen went down a treat with quite a few members noted going back for seconds.  Some might even have been tempted by dessert, if there had been any.  The numbers at the festive table were augmented by some extras from the injured list or who thought that the weather conditions might have proved too arduous.

So, one year is finished, another has started.  Subscriptions are due and will be the same as last year.  $20 for Club plus $90 more for those who have GolfLink handicaps with the Club.  Bank transfer details are on the web-site under the Contacts menu.  Include your name on the details for the receiving account so that we know who it is from.  An email (to the Club or SOS) notifying of the transfer would also help to keep records up to date.

Next week is a Social round and will be a Par event.  We have a few spots reserved but please advise your intentions so that we can do the right thing by the Course management.  The following week will be the January Monthly Medal so don’t play up too much NYE.

In the meantime have a happy Christmas with you and yours and all the very best for the coming year, both on and off the course.

Talk about doom and gloom!  The whisper around the course was that C# Minor had done a fetlock and that Shakey Isles was looking pretty shaky.  This news soon lead to speculation that just about anybody could have a Licence to Kill by the end of the day.  So twenty seven hearts picked up a little with the prospect that with a bit of luck there might be a chance to snatch an unlikely victory if only everything would go just the right way.  Unfortunately, it was not to be, as the rumours of doom and disaster turned out to be slightly exaggerated and, though the front nines were not what you would call spectacular, they were good enough.  Or perhaps it was that the rest of the field weren’t good enough.

Needless to say, Snags did not eat Brendon as he threatened to do last week and Brendon came good on the back nine to take out the event by a margin of 3 strokes but it could have been a lot more if he had not taken 4 of the best on the 16th green.  The investors in Shakey Isles will be well pleased with their investment.

One part of the speculation about a bolter taking it out almost did come true for Mal who showed some form that he has been hiding under a bushel in recent times.  Mal was rather bemused by the fact that he was declared Clubhouse leader while the last groups were coming in  and more so when he was not dislodged by more sets of cards.  In the end he did take out-right second place by dint of having only recorded his handicap as 23 when it should have been 24.  Fortunately, this had no effect on the Calcutta outcome as Licence to Kill was not on the market and so the second placed Calcutta horse was the old reliable C# Major.  Snags will just have to wait for another chance to feast on roasted Kiwi.

Mehmet and Steve had decided that they didn’t have much of a chance after their front nine performance and took a more relaxed attitude to their game.  It seems to have paid off in improved scoring, so much so that they managed to squeeze into 4th place a mere four strokes behind the winner.  They were joined by the Beast who had been in with a chance for the top spot after making up some ground on the front nine but a letting down of the guard on the back meant that the old one-two knock-out punch could not be delivered.  Or maybe Snags just talked him out of it.

Trevor also improved his hand this round and maybe it was the use of the cart that kept him firing right until the end.  As usual, there were tales of woe to be told but in the end it is the score-line that counts.  Michael joined Trevor on the fifth rank with a couple of very respectable rounds that suggest that the  shoulder problems will soon be a distant memory and he will be back to his best form before long.

The other event that was finalised today was the Club Stroke Play Championships.  As reported last week, Noodles had a fair grasp on the Nett score event and in the event that was more than enough to hang on to win with 201 nett after the three rounds.  Runner-up with 209 was another Kiwi that Australia has claimed as our own, in Brendon who managed to just about maintain the margin from last week.  In the off-the-stick side of the event, Pepsi (224) managed not to make too many poor shot-making decisions today to keep his lead in the event to finish a good four strokes in front of Michael (228).  The full table is published under the Competition menu items.

SOS and Rob had their hopes of seeing their first hole-in-one from the 5th tee when Harry’s shot on the 4th rolled past the hole less than a centimetre off line to finish about 70cm away.  The birdie was comfortably easy which must have been the case all over the course today as we managed to tally up 24 of them between us.  Unfortunately the 4th was not one of our competition holes but Stefan did manage to get himself a ball on the 12th.  The ink was hardly dry from Bob putting his name on the card when Stef’s rifled in to take it away.  Ah well, that’s what they say about 15 seconds of fame!  The ProPin on the other hand was rather more controversial.  One ball was measured before it was realised it wasn’t ours and that it actually belonged to somebody who was playing up the 9th.  Another was measured but not recorded because there was already a name on the ‘ticket’ in the box.  Turns out it was last week’s ticket but in the end the ProPin was awarded to SteveK for something that finished about a metre from the hole.

Stefan was hitting them long again today.  On the 6th, he neatly divided the group walking to the 7th tee with a ball that struck the garbage bin and which was, in all probability, saved from ending in the pond further back.  On the 14th, he did it again as they prepared to head to the 15th tee.  No malice, just youthful exuberance.  But he won’t be youthful for much longer if the birthdays keep rolling around as the Birthday Birdie reports that he has one coming up in the next week.  The Beast also took on the group in front but Ed was on the ball and called for his partners to watch out.  He kept walking though and the ball hit him on the ankle.  Didn’t deflect onto the green as Bill had hoped it would though.

After the game, Pepsi was noticed sporting some very colourful runners.  Seems he might have got them through a mate for the right price.  Trevor liked the look of Chrispy’s beer so he headed off and bought himself one to celebrate his result.  What he didn’t realise is how much the Club charges for a Millers Chill and did he carry on a treat.  Even Chrispy had a bit of a whinge.

Next week is the Champion of Champions Trophy event and all winners from this list qualify to play.  More than one qualification counts as one.  Check the Hall of Fame if you can’t remember what you won during the year but note that the HoF is for calendar year while the event is for the playing year, so it is the VOM from last December that counts.

• Any Monthly medal
• Fred Howe Cup
• Stuart Clarke Memorial
• David Ford Cup
• Vin O’Meara Memorial Trophy
• Fred Kitson Cup
• Annual Challenge
• Matchplay championship
• Club champion
• Senior Club Champion
• Club Stroke Play Championship

Those who did not make this list will play for the Chump of Chumps which, in the scheme of things, isn’t much.

After the event, there will be the Presentation of Trophies and the Christmas Lunch that usually includes a few free drinks on the Club.  Try to remember to wear your Club shirt as we would like to get a new group photo as well.

Results for Saturday, 12 December 2015
1st Brendon Mitchell(67, 69, 136) 2nd Malcolm Fleming(73, 65, 138) 3rd Craig Sharp(67, 72, 139) 4th Stephen Kelly(70, 70, 140) 4th Bill Eastoe(69, 71, 140) 4th Mehmet Akdag(71, 69, 140) 5th Trevor Jackson(74, 69, 143) 5th Michael Gourlay(71, 72, 143)

Seniors Results: 1st Malcolm Fleming (73) 1st Malcolm Fleming (65) 2nd Bill Eastoe (69) 2nd Bill Eastoe (71) 3rd Trevor Jackson (74) 3rd Trevor Jackson (69)

ProPin 18th: Stephen Kelly.  NTP 12th: Stefan belevski

A whole year of Championship points up for the taking and the club turned out in force to try to get a piece of the action.  Rod Grant is back on the come-back trail after a long outage getting various bodily parts rearranged and for a first full round in many months it might not be surprising that he wasn’t up amongst the front runners.  Regardless of the result, welcome back Rod and hopefully that will be the last of the break-downs.  A field of twenty seven is probably about as large as we have had in the history of the Club.  As a result, some people were drawn into the later groups and our international jet-setter was having a bit of a whinge about how he had been at the Course since 0630.  A bit like international departures when you think about it.

Another week off the Black markers and some people seemed to find that more difficult than the extra distance would dictate but it does serve to increase the value of accuracy and one or two suffered as a result.  However, there were a couple who took it in their stride and managed to play below their handicap to lead the field after the first round.   When the results were announced, Snags was heard to comment that he was going to eat Brendon next week.  Somebody thought that maybe he already had but that is another story.  So, having let the cat out of the bag, the two front runners after the first round are none other than Snags and Brendon who are both very keen to get off to a flying start with the double dose of points that are on offer.

But, lurking in the background, and also very keen to spoil their party, is none other than the Beast, who was careful enough not to break his handicap and who will be well placed to put the mockers on the both of them as the last member of the last group to tee off next week.  Oh, to be a fly on the wall!

One of our newest members is also well within striking distance and the family name will come into question if Steve manages to snatch the trophy from the leader’s grasp.  While speaking of bushrangers, Steve is joined in this rank by none other than Ed and John (Frequent Flyer) Q.  All would be quietly confident of their chances of putting together another good round to give the leaders a run for their money.

Mehmet spent most of the day ruminating on the amount of money that he had spent on various horses in the Calcutta and, in particular on his playing companion Pepsi, who managed to consume two weeks worth of handicap in trying to extricate himself from an impossible lie in a bush on the 8th.  Three swings, none of which could be positively said to have contacted the ball, though it did move from its original position, before he relented and took a drop for an unplayable, pretty much accounted for the strokes available.  Still, par-ing the course is not beyond the realms of possibility for Pepsi but at this stage, Mehm might have done his dough.  Right alongside Mehm is Michael who is well placed on the come-back trail and could easily cause an upset if he returns to his old form.  Snags reckons he complained the whole round though whether it was about how he was playing or about how Snags was playing was not at all clear.  Michael did seem to think that Snags had some sort of charm (of the witchcraft variety) that enabled him to recover from the unlikeliest of situations by playing several ‘shots of the day’.

Taner started off the day with a nine on the first and that would have been enough to put most people out of the contest.  But, with the benefit of his generous handicap, and a modicum of that Cypriot tenacity he pressed on and is still in there with a chance if he can eliminate the odd big score that blighted the card.

As for the rest, the chances of streeting the field seem less than likely short of a major terrorist attack taking out the leading groups.  Rob started off the day like a house on fire with pars on four of the first five holes.  But, at some stage, the wheels fell off, both figuratively and literally.  The game went down-hill but on the 16th up-hill, the wheel fell off his buggy.  This mishap was down to some maintenance done the previous night to ensure his gear was in the best possible condition for the day’s outing.  Noodles thought he had lost something on the 1st and rather than walk back he rang Mehm to get him to check.  When asked what he thought he had lost the answer , apparently, was ‘my phone’.  However, Mehm has been known to bulltish from time to time, so the story is repeated with some reservation.

Ryan had some close calls on the draughtie front and on more than one occasion according to reports.  Harry was not so lucky on the 2nd when the pine tree intervened and prevented his well struck, if errant, shot from making it to the red markers.  Dennis managed to put his tee shot on the 15th to within a metre of the hole to take out the ProPin.  That only took him two more shots to get the ball into the hole whereas on the next he took five putts to achieve the same result and four of them were inside that same one metre distance.  Brendon was rather upset that the last group had not managed to pick up the marker and the box from the Nearest the Pin hole on the 12th.  The reason for his interest became clear when it was discovered that it was his name on the ticket for the ball.  It seems he really needed it to replace the one that he lost OOB on the 13th.  He also did not make the birdie after his close approach and the whole field only managed 14 which is a pretty low strike rate for the size of the field.

In the Stroke Play Championship, Noodles retains a fairly handy lead in the Nett Score side of the competition and if he can put together another reasonable round the trophy could very well be his.  On the Gross Score side of the table however, the situation is a much more close run thing.  Despite Pepsi’s brain fade on the 8th today, he still holds the lead but he is being closely pressed by Michael and Noodles so the outcome is still up for grabs.  Can Noodles pull off the unlikely double of both Gross and Nett?

If anybody has major trophies still gracing their mantelpiece or gathering dust in the attic, could you please bring them in next Saturday or get them to Gordon earlier if possible.  This will allow engraving to be organised and to have them available for presentation at the break-up and Champion of Champions (and Chump of Chumps) on 19 December.

Membership subscriptions are also now due and can be paid in cash to the Treasurer or by Direct Debit into the Club bank account.  The account details are on the web-site.

Results for Saturday, 05 December 2015
Leaderboard Round 1 1st Brendon Mitchell(67) 1st Craig Sharp(67) 2nd Bill Eastoe(69) 3rd Stephen Kelly(70) 3rd Ed Kloprogge(70) 3rd John Quinlan(70) 4th Mehmet Akdag(71) 4th Michael Gourlay(71) 5th Taner Kemal(72)