Monthly Archives: April 2016

There ended up being twenty one members on the course today after Mehmet turned up at the death-knock sporting a brand new hole in his head.  This lead to all sorts of speculation as to what the surgeons were looking for and, more to the point, whether they had found anything.  But, as they say in the classics, I’d rather have a bottle in front of me than a frontal lobotomy.  For future reference, Chrispresident, that’s how it is spelled.

The bit of rain that graced Melbourne with its presence yesterday would have been a welcome addition to the course and some of the lies were noticeably softer but some good follow-up rain really is needed to have any long term effect.  There were a couple of blokes who had their golf brains working today and they revelled in the conditions that were mild with a bit of a breeze.  George lined up for his second win since qualifying a few weeks back and he has taken a giant leap up the Championship Table with his score of +3 today.  Right alongside him was Matt who made a remarkable turn-around from his last appearance to improve by no less than 12 points to share the honours on +3.  If some of the other courses that he plays on are any guide then Ivanhoe must be a doddle for him and the handicapper might have to strike some special rules for when we see him again.  Just joshing.

At least the young whipper-snappers didn’t steal the Seniors points and they kindly left the best of those to Laurie and Harry who shared second place, also in positive territory with +1 apiece.  Laurie apparently had about fourteen one putt greens and chipped one in to square a hole with ChrisV in their match which Laurie managed to take out 2 up although it was a close-run thing all day.  So much so that Gordon and Ed were on the edge of their chairs, figuratively speaking, and perhaps this goes some way to explaining why they were off their game just a little.  Chris fought back valiantly over the last few holes and managed to birdie the 16th after hitting his drive all of 75 metres.  A massive second and a chip in went close to breaking Laurie’s will to live.  The match went dormie on the 17th and the suggestion was that, if it went to a chip-off, Laurie was bound to win based on his performance all day.

On a day on which more people scored points than those that didn’t, it isn’t surprising that there were some multiple placings somewhere in the pile.  And so it was for the members who managed to score -1.  The five who managed this little feat were the Beast, Rob, John, SOS and ChrisV.  Not far behind in scores and number of contestants were Noodles, Gordon and Ryan on -2.  Bringing up the rear on -3 were Mehmet and Ed.

Simon is taking his new role as Tee Marshall seriously and is keen to learn the ropes.  One of the early skills to acquire is to put out the Nearest the Pin containers on the nominated holes before the round starts.  This was because some members carrying them in the first group were considered to be too unreliable.  So, what happened today, the kit with the tape was at the BallPin hole and the other was at the ProPin hole (deja vu).  Not to worry, everybody knew which was which.  Michael added some cheer to his day by getting it close enough on the 4th to collect himself a ball.  And, in what was really the highlight of Mal’s day, he put it to 1.5m on the 12th to collect the shrapnel for the ProPin.  He left it a little shy for the birdie but there was a goodly total carded today with no less than 17 of the little feathery beasts.  Even so, the improvements in the Eclectic were largely restricted to newer and less frequent players but the leader’s lead has been cut in half and there are several members who are well within striking distance.

Speaking of beasts, Bill lost a ball on the 17th, presumably through the green and out the fence because he was claiming that the group in front should have stood around to take one for the cause and stop it.  On the other hand, Chrispy was rather pleased to have Mal as his back-stop when his penalty shot from across the pond was heading for the Yarra with some considerable speed when it struck Mal’s (moving) cart wheel and ricocheted back onto the green to finish a few metres from the hole.  Didn’t really do him any good as he still scored a gash but at least he still had his ball.

There have been rumours that Stef was going to make a comeback and start stealing points in the Championship.  He was here at the finish today but whether that was because he was terribly late out of bed or just being sociable was not clear.  Be warned, the return is imminent.

Rob played the 13th in an unusual manner today by putting his drive across in the vicinity of the 1st green.  He then crossed two fairways to be within striking distance, chipped it on and sank the putt for an ‘easy’ par.  Is that class or the other stuff?  Simon reports that he enjoyed himself on his recent cruise and reports that they even had chipping and putting competitions on board.  The putting is particularly interesting particularly if the ship has any sort of a roll going on.  He also reckons he over-ate.  No wonder he was looking a bit porky (not).

RodG was noticed buying drinks after the round and it seems that his drive on the 15th fell foul of the trees on the left of the tees and didn’t quite make it to the red markers.  Unfortunately, it still counts as a draughtie.  Noodles apparently wasn’t too happy with the pace of play and made his concerns known to his playing partners again and again.  But hang on Noods, you were playing in a three behind groups of four.  Was the pace really that slow?

Chrispy appeared this morning with a freshly (de)mowed upper lip.  Several people commented that they didn’t recognise him.  Could be an opportunity to get out and misbehave, hey Chris!  It will be interesting to hear what the reception was at home because, apparently, even Carolyn didn’t know that the razor gang had been on the job.

Whitey wasn’t on the course today so maybe he was out celebrating his big day or maybe he just didn’t want to drink all the beers that his mates were going to buy for him.  Tell ‘im he’s dreamin’.

Results for Saturday, 30 April 2016
1st Matt Hunt(+3) 1st George Tenaglia(+3) 2nd Harry Boughen(+1) 2nd Laurie Mannix(+1) 3rd Bill Eastoe(-1) 3rd Robert Priems(-1) 3rd John Quinlan(-1) 3rd Stephen O’Sullivan(-1) 3rd Chris Vinecombe(-1) 4th Stephen Butterfield(-2) 4th Gordon Hill(-2) 4th Ryan Porker(-2) 5th Mehmet Akdag(-3) 5th Ed Kloprogge(-3)

Seniors Results: 1st Harry Boughen (+1) 1st Laurie Mannix (+1) 2nd Bill Eastoe (-1) 3rd Gordon Hill (-2)

Nearest the Pin Results: ProPin 12th Malcolm Fleming BallPin 4th Michael Gourlay

The were a few notable absences from the list of regulars, probably due to the attractions of a long weekend, including Anzac Day, but these were more than compensated by some new and not so new faces on the course.  George was here again, making his presence felt and Matt put in his second appearance.  A real blast from the past was Dick (Hall in case you had forgotten) who is promising to make a comeback, until, of course, the ‘flannelled fools’ start whispering in his ears again as next summer approaches.  No shame in being an all-rounder by any means.  Welcome to the Club chaps.  As a result, we had a fairly good field with a total of twenty players trying their arm for the points and, in several cases, their place in the next round of the Matchplay.

For many it was to no avail that they toiled but it seemed that it was a bit of a cake-walk for Bob who pressed on with his passage through quite a purple patch to take the honours for the day with a pretty impressive 39 points and this with a freshly minted handicap after recent high placings.  When asked what the secret formula was, Bob put it down to generous helpings of gummi bears, which he very generously offered around the gathered members.  Few seemed convinced of the efficacy of this approach as there were few, if any, takers.  They probably wouldn’t have tasted very nice after/with a beer for most.  Regardless of what the secret is, Bob is now top cockie on the Seniors Championship Table and is in a strong position to claim top spot on the Open Championship Table as well.

The Beast seems to have taken a leaf out of Chrispresidents book and was using the trees to great advantage to keep his ball in play and he used that advantage to accumulate 37 points at the end of the round.  In the process, he put his tee shot on the 15th to within a metre (0.9m to be exact) and fairly covering the hole to take out the ProPin.  For some reason, he didn’t manage to sink the birdie putt but perhaps that wasn’t so unusual today as the whole team only managed to make 6 for the day.  Some said the green were good, Bob, it seems, was able to sink them from anywhere, including off the green.  Some were less happy with the condition though, on a number of occasions, the furry cup lips could easily have brought the ball in rather than left it out.  Perhaps the tally tells the story (or not).  On the other Nearest the Pin event, it was Trevor who managed to put it onto the 18th to get his name on the card and to collect the BallPin trophy for the day.

As mentioned last week, George has been quick to make his mark since qualifying for his handicap, so much so that he presented to the judges again this week and very cunningly arranged it so that he lost no more handicap by playing to his new mark with 36 points.  George was joined on that score by Ryan who is also doing his best to protect his current handicap.  And, while on the topic of new-comers leaping into the lime-light,  Matt obviously re-appraised the course and turned around his performance from last week to make an almost handicap matching score of 35 points.

Noodles claims to have pretensions in relation to the Championship at the end of the year, but he will have to pick up his scoring rate from the single Championship Point that he scored with his card of 34 of the Stableford kind.

There were five Matchplay matches in the second round finalised today and several were close and a couple were not so close.  Our daily winner, Bob was involved in a tussle with one of our daily third place-getters, Ryan who looked to be gone for all money half way through the back nine.  However, he came back strongly and managed to have the match square after the 17th.  He made more of a mess of the 18th than Bob did and the match finished with Bob winning 1 up.  The same bottom line was produced in the match between Chrispresident and JohnQ with the scoreline favouring John for all of the card but with Chris managing to bring it back to be able to square the match with a win on the last.  Unfortunately, it was not to be, as he could only square the 18th to give the match to John.

Trevor and SOS were well matched on the day with neither of them setting the world on fire as far as the main competition went.  However, on the matchplay front they turned out to be well matched even thought SOS did appear to have the upper hand half way through the back nine.  Trev made a big come-back, including his BallPin winning shot on the 18th, to square the match and the result had to be decided by a chip off.  Trev left himself a long putt that was a bit off line which opened the chance for SOS with about three metres to traverse after his chip.  In a display that belies the rest of his scorecard, SOS rattled it in easily to shut Trevor out and to take the match.

Damo and Rob played an almost one-sided match which Rob took out 4 and 3.  Rob promptly collapsed over the last three holes causing no little angst to Damo and some questions relating to Rob’s intentions in relation to his handicap.  In fact, if Rob hadn’t won on the 15th, Damo could easily have (won, that is).  The Beast and Whitey looked to be well matched for the first nine or so holes but after the 12th, the Beast put his head down and won the match convincingly, also 4 and 3.

The Birthday Birdie is going to be busy this week with Ryan and Whitey sitting down in front of a cake decked out with birthday candles.  Neither have to disable the fire alarms just yet.  Another big celebration this week is the lot of Steve who is off globe-trotting somewhere to get himself married.  No wonder he hasn’t been answering his e-mails.  Congratulations and best wishes from all your mates at Ivanhoe, Steve.

Michael is still having a few problems with his shoulder and his game was off a little today.  He thought the ProPin on the 15th might offer some consolation and when that didn’t eventuate, he tried for the eagle at the 17th.  The chip came up short and even the birdie putt missed so there was little consolation indeed.

There was a loud shout of ‘Fore’ from the 8th fairway and Damo, in mid-swing on the 9th tee, could do little but finish his shot and adopt a defensive crouched position.  The ball bounced between his feet and struck him on the wrist.  At Damo’s, tempered, request to know who was responsible, all fingers pointed to JohnQ.  Talk about dobbers!  It seems that, from a distance, it appeared that the ball had disappeared into Damo’s fundament and there was a question asked if there was any chance to get the ball back.

Chrispresident was completely fitted out with his new weapons of self-destruction for the first time today and the result was deemed for be on the side of promising.  There was just one caveat in that the grips didn’t feel ‘grippy’ enough.  And, while on the subject of grips, RodG has a new putter with a ‘fat’ grip.  There have some promising early signs but there was no effect on the ‘airie’ that Rod managed while trying to extricate himself from some ‘reedy’/’tufty’ growth.  Harry convincingly shank his tee shot on the 15th into the trees to the left of the tees and one of them generously deposited the ball back in bounds and in the open on the front tee but well short of the red markers and the shot had to be classified as a draughtie, for the record.

RULE OF THE DAY.

Rule 18-1: Ball at rest moved by an outside agency

If a ball at rest is moved by an outside agency, there is no penalty and the ball must be replaced.  If a ball to be replaced under this Rule is not immediately recoverable, another ball may be substituted.  An outside agency is any agency other than the competitors side, any caddie of the side, any ball played by the side at the hole being played or any equipment of the side.  A player from another player group is an outside agency.

Thus, if a player from another group plays on with the wrong ball from another playing group and this fact is positively known and the spot from which the ball was moved can be positively identified, the owner of that ball is entitled to play a new ball from the spot without penalty.  Obviously, the player who played the incorrect ball would be subject to the appropriate penalties.

It is a question of fact whether the ball has been moved by an outside agency.  In order to apply this Rule, it must be known or virtually certain that an outside agency has moved the ball.  In the absence of such knowledge or certainty, the player must play the ball as it lies or, if the ball is not found, proceed under Rule 27-1.

Results for Saturday, 23 April 2016
1st Bob McDonald(39) 2nd Bill Eastoe(37) 3rd Ryan Porker(36) 3rd George Tenaglia(36) 4th Matt Hunt(35) 5th Stephen Butterfield(34)

Seniors Results: 1st Bob McDonald (39) 2nd Bill Eastoe (37) 3rd Malcolm Fleming (29)

Nearest the Pin Results: ProPin 15th Bill Eastoe BallPin 18th Trevor Jackson

It seems like whenever a new member joins, soon after receiving their club handicap  their first win is not far away. This weekends competition was certainly maintaining the trend with George shooting a +5 to run away with the chocolates. Harry was not harsh enough with the initial handicap so a nice adjustment will keep George on his toes next week. It could have been worse however, going into the 17th he was +6 and confident enough to go for the green, he found the far side of the rough and ended up with square and minus 1 on the last two holes to win by a solitary point.

Bob continued some decent form to come in the +4 and second place. He appeared to be quite happy with not winning, not losing an extra point on the handicap could prove beneficial with his upcoming matchplay round coming up. Johnny Q claimed to have played his best round off the stick too, +3 was good enough for outright 3rd place. 4th and 5th was hotly contested with a swag of members fighting it out, Craig Cameron and SOS coming in with +1 and the Priems brothers and Vincenzo playing to their handicap for 5th place.

There was a few frustrated players early on in the day when they realised that the 5th green was blocked off and replaced with a temporary green (if you could call it that). The damage from the young teens a few weeks ago was not up to scratch according to course management, although both Peps and Chris V managed to birdie the hole. Speaking of birdies 13 were carded today which wasn’t a bad result for the 18 members and 1 non member who played. Rob’s mate Matt decided to see what all the fuss was about by joining in and handed in his first card.

The ball hole went to Michael G who put it close enough on the 12th to sink the birdie, for something different the pro pin was on the 15 and Pepsi hit one close enough to come away with the cash.  There were no matchplay games played today, reminder that the second round needs to be completed during the next 2 weeks. Only a single second round match has been played so far.

Results for Saturday, 16 April 2016
1st George Tenaglia(+5) 2nd Bob McDonald(+4) 3rd John Quinlan(+3) 4th Craig Cameron(+1) 4th Stephen O’Sullivan(+1) 5th Chris Priems(□) 5th Robert Priems(□) 5th Chris Vinecombe(□)

Seniors Results: 1st Bob McDonald (+4) 2nd Craig Cameron (+1) 3rd Bill Eastoe (-1)

Nearest the Pin Results: ProPin 15th Andrew Petricola BallPin 12th Michael Gourlay

Well, things were a little brisker out on the course this morning.  Yes, the temperature was a bit lower than it has been in recent times, but the main source of the briskness seemed to be in the pace of play.  There was some waiting on tees but that was mostly because people were keeping up rather than lagging behind.  So, keep up the good work, practice your time saving procedures and, who knows, we might be able to get it down even further.  All in all there were 20 happier campers this week, none less than Whitey who observed that he was starting his second beer rather than still being out on the course at the same time of day.  That was by the clock of course, rather than by the position of the sun relative to the yard-arm, given that we all got an extra hour of sleep last Sunday and we were back to earlier tee times today.

When he had his last win a little while ago, Targe had been complaining about wanting his handicap let out as he hadn’t been playing anywhere near to it.  Rumour has it that he made a few attempts not to play to it again today.  There were at least three shanked chips and on the 4th his tee shot mustn’t have been too far from a draughtie as he was on the path 110m out (according to reports) and the hole is only 121m (according to the card).  A putter shot still left him 10 m short but another putt went to 50mm for an easy as you like 4 and 2 points.  Despite the trials and tribulations, Targe had a very balanced round with 19 points on each half for his winning total of 38 and a new handicap to complain about.

While on the subject of draughties, there was one of the better ones for all to see on the first tee.  Not sure what DennisW did but the ball departed almost at right angles to the line and hit one of the buggies parked on the path beside the teeing area.  The ball finished back on the tee ground about 4m in front of the point of departure.  Targe seemed to be quite enjoying the drink so kindly provided by Dennis as a result.  Targe also collected the top points in the Seniors Championship.

Michael was back on the tee today after a bit of nip and tuck to restructure his abs but he steadfastly refused to show his new ‘six-pack’.  Now, it would have to be said that the first shot of the day was not one of his better ones and he had to negotiate some trees for his second.  But, he managed to regain his ground and settled for a bogey.  But after that the pars and birdies kept rolling in and he finished the day with 37 points to put his hands on the second place points.  If the reinforcements that the surgeon put in have stabilised his swing, watch out when he has a bit more practice.

Harry was with a group today that had quite a discussion about Ernie (Els, not the fastest milkman in the west though he did come into the conversation a few times).  Anyhow, the group decided that any putt from under a metre that slid by the hole would be called an Ernie.  And there were quite a few of them on the cards by the end of the round.  Harry’s collection of Ernies managed to turn several potential three point holes into singletons.  As a result, the total for Harry at the end of the day was 36 points and enough for a third place spot.  The card included a couple of birdies and a couple of strokes off the Eclectic card as well.  The whole field managed to put together 10 of the little featheries today, including one from Brendon who also improved his Eclectic card as a result and he now has a four stroke lead on the field.  Surely, somebody will start catching him soon.

The report card for the next two place-getters probably should read ‘could have done better’.  John and Simon both left blanks on their card mixed in with a scattering of singles but they still manged to gather 35 points to secure 4th place by a bit of a margin.  A couple of points further back was Blighty who didn’t really set the world on fire on the front nine but managed to keep his head well down for eight of the back nine and slip into fifth place.

The second round of the matchplay is now under way and this round has to be completed by/on the 7th of May.  The table is up on the web-site so check out who you have to play and get organised.  We don’t want the Walkover family dominating this round as well as the first.  Anyway, one pair managed to get together today and play their match.  Eddie and Brendon battled it out and it almost appears that the least worse score on each hole carried the day.  Still, it is the best player on the day that wins the match and today, that turned out to be Ed, 4 and 3.  The Match was dormie after the 14th but, with no strokes left, Brendon would have to have really lifted to push for a square and a chip-off so a squared result at the 15th was enough to give Ed the Match.

After a bit of confusion early taws about which hole was going to be the ProPin and which was going to be the BallPin, one thing was announced but the markers were put out, before the round, on the opposite holes.  Anyway, the BallPin was on the 4th and nobody got particularly close, but Harry got close enough to squeeze out Ed by about half a metre to collect the ball.

The ProPin on the other hand was on the 18th.  Bob had decided that today was the day to bring out one of his spare sets of clubs and, to say the least, some of his comments during the round about the worth of said clubs were less than flattering.  Come the 18th, Bob fairly cracks one off the tee and it looks to be heading straight for the pin and likely to finish pretty darned close.  Walking up the hill, the Beast wondered whether he should run ahead and knock it in so that Bob would be persuaded to shout.  Discretion was the better part of valour as Bill couldn’t think of a way to break it to Bob what had happened without endangering his life.  But, as it turned out, if Bob had hit the ball just that little bit harder there is every chance that such skullduggery would have been unnecessary.  As it turned out Bob was glad that it wasn’t an ace so that he didn’t have to shout the bar.  Easy birdie and easy money.

Chrispresident was seen consulting with the local (golf) Pro about the set-up of his new driver and fairway wood and while the first shot wasn’t necessarily the best, by the end of the day the reports were that things were going pretty well, all things considered.  However, Chris reckons that his old irons got themselves in a bit of a huff with the new kids in the bag and were misbehaving like spoiled children.  There was also a bit of an experiment going on with a new wedge that added to the angst.  All in all, he finished lurking in the nether regions of the field.

While on the subject of nether regions, the question was asked by one of our newer members – what was the lowest Stableford points score ever recorded with the club.  A search of the database suggests that you would have to plumb the depths of single figures to claim that record and nine is the lowest on record though there is anecdotal evidence of an even lower one.  But, if it happened, it does not appear in the database.

Brent played his first official competition round today and his first shot caused Chris and Rob to remind him that he was now in competition  and not just playing for his handicap.  He obviously took some notice and finished the round better placed that either Rob or Chris.

What does occur in the database, for most people anyway, is a record of your date of birth and as a result the Birthday Birdie will be out and about spreading good wishes to RodG and SOS in the coming week

Results for Saturday, 09 April 2016
1st Targe Mifsud(38) 2nd Michael Gourlay(37) 3rd Harry Boughen(36) 4th Simon Powell(35) 4th John Quinlan(35) 5th Andrew Blight(33)

Seniors Results: 1st Targe Mifsud (38) 2nd Harry Boughen (36) 3rd Simon Powell (35)

Nearest the Pin Results: ProPin 18th Bob McDonald BallPin 4th Harry Boughen