Monthly Archives: November 2016

And so, the sun sets on another year of competition for Ivanhoe Men’s.  And it really did come down to the wire for the Club Championship.  Any one of three could have snatched it on the last day and the Tee Marshall very cunningly arranged for the three protagonists (Beast, Brendon and Michael) to be in the same group with Gordon tagging along as chief arbiter and referee just in case the situation got ugly.  As it turned out, the responsibility of it all put Gordon off his game even though he had nothing to do in the matter of peace-keeping.  But more of that later on.  The main game was to fight it out for the December Monthly Medal and 22 members came along to try for one last burst for glory this year.  Only 21 submitted finished cards after DennisT lost a ball in the middle of the fairway that everybody saw finish but nobody could find.  Dennis relaxed after that and played his best golf for some time.  Dennis really appreciates fine music but for some reason he was complaining about having to sit through a concert at the Darklands by some band called Crowded House (whoops – that should be ColdPlay) and then he wanted to know if anybody had heard of a singer called Adele as he was going to have to put up with her as well.  Get out of the 60s Dennis!

Enough of the small talk.  The course was in good condition and there was some run to be had.  A couple of the pin placements were a bit tricky and there was the usual spread of gum leaves and nuts (on the greens) to be contended with.  But no reason at all not to score well.  And, for the first time in a while, we had to have a count-back to decide the medal winner after Zimmer and Pepsi both fronted up with nett 64.  Pepsi finished his round equal to the card off the stick and with one under (32) on the back nine he was able to see off Zimmer (32.5) without having even to use his two handicap strokes.  Great golf from both of you and this augurs well for the up-coming Vin O’Meara and the rest of the strokeplay Championship if you can keep this up for another two weeks.

Next player to front the judges was Harry who wasn’t too happy with himself after a pair of triples on the first two holes.  But, with Simon and Bob to beat in the Seniors, Harry kept his head down and followed through in style (ask Bill) to come in with a nett 66 with a couple of others left out there.  You know what they say about aunties and uncles.  Just a stroke behind was none other than our new Club Champion and Seniors Champion, Bill (The Beast) who kept up with the sort of performance that he has been displaying throughout the year to add another three points to his impressive total and to see off the other wannabes who fell by the wayside as Bill chipped and putted the eyes out of the course with up and downs coming in quick succession.  He even got par on the 13th by playing his driver from the 10th fairway, through the trees, followed by a chip and a putt for the easiest of fours.

Chrispy managed to make up a bit of ground on Michael but it was just too little, too late.  But Chrispy already has his eyes on the double points for the Vin O’Meara as he reckons that is a good guide for the eventual Champion (except for this year, of course).  But Brendon, did come in second and, if only he had scored some more points – aunts and uncles again.  Anyway, enough of that.  Three other players shared the lime-light in fourth place and that was Jason, Dale and George who all have a very high strike rate for the number of games that they have played and they could very well be the ones to watch in the coming year.  Michael managed to sneak in for a point with his 69 nett and he too will be trying to position himself well early for a tilt at next year’s Championship after leaving this year’s run just a little too late.

The Nearest the Pin competition was a bit of a schemozzle again this week.  The BallPin was on the 4th and Targe put his pretty close to the hole and he put his name on the ticket.  Then he got excited about getting his birdie and walked off with the marker in his pocket and left a bare green for the rest of the field.  While on the subject of birdies, we only managed to score a dozen and half of those were down to Pepsi.  Lift your game fellows.  As a result, nobody was able to close the gap on Brendon in the Eclectic and so that honour goes to him.  Now, the ProPin was supposed to be on the 12th but the markers were nowhere to be found in that vicinity.  The green at the 15th was also bare and so it was that it eventually went out on the 18th and the early groups did not make much of a fist of getting the ball close enough on the green.  Then, along came Pepsi, who came within a whisker of a Hole in One and left the ball 90mm from the hole and so he collected the Double Dollars as well as the Medal.

Today was also the first round of the Strokeplay Championship and, needless to say, the first round leader in both side of the competition is Pepsi.  But, it is early days yet and somebody could kick him in his gammy knee and bring him back to the field.

Noodles has obviously come up in the world and now is a proud resident of Toorak though he does reckon it’s not a patch on Eltham and he’s not planning to buy a ‘tractor’ just yet.  He spent some time on the driving range at Yarra Bend on Friday and hit about fifty balls straight and out of sight.  He didn’t seem to be able to reproduce that form today and there was some question as to whether a club going out of bounds would incur a penalty.  Simon did have hopes of, at least, overtaking Harry in the Seniors Championship but that all went well and truly out the window after two balls finished OOB on the 15th.

Trevor was spotted buying a round of drinks but was deemed to have been unlucky when his draughtie resulted from a powerful return from a nearby tree.  Dale was, on the other hand, deemed to be lucky to get a ricochet from a tree when his shot on the 13th headed for the houses and seemed gone for all money.  As it was, it finished on the fairway and he played the hole out for a par.

The bar-be-que looked like being a bit over-catered when the first group teed off with a group who planned to head straight off but a few late-comers boosted the numbers and in the end, there were only a few sausages, bread and some salad left.  The bar-be-que was expertly manned by Simon and Harry who risked life and limb to light the burners with Simon’s cigarette lighter after all attempts to use the piezo lighter failed.  The burgers and the snags were given a thumbs up and quite a few returns for seconds (and more) were noted.

After lunch, those remaining retired to a secluded spot and, under the expert guidance of Gordo, dug deep to bid for a total of 24 potential runners in the Vin O’Meara.  The bidding was a bit more subdued than in recent years due to the absence of some of our less risk averse members but, if all 24 runners sold start next week, then the total pool will be $1600 giving a distribution of $960 for first, $480 for second and $160 for third.  The pool will be reduced for any sold who do not start.  Monies are due before tee time next week to Gordon.  Buyers are responsible for offering the jockey the chance to share the cost and dividend and for collecting the money owing and delivering to the club.  The fixed price (buy yourself) competition will also be open and the monies must also be paid before tee time next week.  Money invested on horses who start but do not finish remains in the pool.

Results for Saturday, 26 November 2016
1st Kazim Akdag(64) 1st Andrew Petricola(64) 2nd Harry Boughen(66) 3rd Bill Eastoe(67) 4th Jason Hopkins(68) 4th Chris Priems(68) 4th George Tenaglia(68) 4th Dale Webb(68) 5th Michael Gourlay(69)

Seniors Results: 1st Harry Boughen (66) 2nd Bill Eastoe (67) 3rd Targe Mifsud (70)

Nearest the Pin Results: ProPin 18th Andrew Petricola BallPin 4th Targe Mifsud

The Club competition year is rushing pell-mell to a close and a number of events are coming down to the wire.  The tension in some quarters is palpable and nervous flutters could very easily be affecting some people’s games.  Despite the fact that most dashes had been left far too late, there were still 23 members out on the course today to try to keep their least favourite contender out of the points if possible.  The course re-paid in spades with the fairways green and lush but forgiving enough to provide a bit of run for the nicely struck ball.  The weather gods were in a benevolent mood and the sun shone down from a cloudless sky but with not enough intensity to raise the temperature beyond a comfortable level.

So, conditions were ripe for some good scoring and some good scoring did eventuate but the spread of good results was rather limited.  The best on the day, with an off-the-stick score of 77, that missed being a personal best by the narrowest of margins, and a points score of +6 was none other than Simon.  It seems that his extra games during the week and the back-yard practice are starting to pay off big-time.

Fairly hot on Simon’s heels was Dale, who played in his first competition today since qualifying for his handicap.  The handicapper is beginning to think that the rules for handicap qualifying might need to be reviewed given the regularity of maidens getting up at their first outing.  Dale was joined in second place by Joe who might yet rue not leaving his dash for a week in his quest for a medal to hang around his neck.  Regardless, plus five is a score to be envied.

A couple of players who were looking on with envious eyes in third place were SOS and ChrisV who both played some steady golf and managed to play just under their handicap with a plus one result.  Chris might have been hampered by a lack of sleep that seems to have been plaguing him since the recent addition to the family came home to bring joy to their lives.  Fourth place was filled by a squad of four.  Two guys who just happened to mark each others cards but to which coincidence absolutely no blame can be attached, were CraigC and Michael.  Whitey was able to tear himself away from the cricket pitch for just one weekend and proved that he can keep his eye on the ball whether it be white or red (or pink or white).  The man who claims to have scored points every time he has played this year kept true to his claim and Snags upped his total by a couple more today to round out the group of four squares.  Plus, his claim is actually true with six games showing on the Championship Table and six scoring results.  He has a bit to do to match the Beast’s record of almost three points per round played.

Chrispy thought he wasn’t going too well today and as he walked up the 10th he passed Michael and conceded that the prospect of third place in the Championship had slipped from his grasp.  Michael obviously has his eyes on a greater prize but he might still have been affected by this piece of ‘good’ news when he shanked his second after one of his better drives of the day.  Chris managed to score a point with his minus one card but the prospect of a podium finish in the main game is now well and truly out of reach.  Chris was joined by the other Rod(G) and Stefan who seems to have tired of driving the 11th and is striving to emulate the feat on the 10th though today’s effort was a little astray out on the 13th.

The main Championship is now a strictly three horse race and the final placings will depend on the outcome of next week’s Stroke round with any one of the three, the Beast, Brendon and Michael able to come in with the top points for the year.  That should prove to be an interesting group to follow next week and there might be a need for a referee in case the going gets a bit rough as the round progresses.  The Seniors Championship has a winner as the Beast has an unassailable lead but there is likely to be a certain amount of elbowing going on for second and third place with Simon, Bob and Harry to fight that one out on the last day.  There is still a bit of life left in the Eclectic as Brendon could be rolled by a well placed birdie from DennisW.  The Beast and Rob will have to work hard on their nemesis holes for birdies or hope for the elusive eagle to cause the big upset.

On the subject of birdies, the strike rate was down a bit on last week and we managed only 14 for the day.  The ProPin today was scheduled for the 12th and there was a marker there but it was the one without the tape.  So, we don’t have a precise measurement, but a reasonably accurate estimate was put at 4.1m which allowed CraigC to beat out RodG for the Jackpot Pool so Craig should be able to feed the wive and kids tonight.  The BallPin was on the 18th but somebody forgot to put the marker out (no names Ed) and, although there were several claims to have been on the green, it was declared that the BallPin would Jackpot.

The Birthday Birdie reports that there are no birthdays to report on this week and so he is taking a well earned break from his arduous duties of delivering best wishes to all and sundry.

The weather was good today and a number of players had their shorts on.  One player didn’t have his shorts on but kept coming up short and that was CriagC.  He tried to rationalise it by stating that he really needed to practice his 1-2m (and sometimes 3m) putts.  Dale could have been in top spot today if it had not been for a wayward shot on the 17th that looked as if it could be lost/oob.  His provisional was last seen heading for Dights Falls but luckily (?) the first ball was found but totally unplayable so there was no real joy there as shots went astray after the penalty.  Snags also had some problems on the 17th.  It seems that Craig tried sledging SOS who sledged right back by challenging him to put his into the pond.  It took Snags a couple of shots but he did manage to do just that and put it in the pond.

Rob is a bit crooked on Blighty.  Rob had been doing it a bit tough coming up the 6th and even his approach shot to the green was off-line and a bit over-done and it was heading straight for Blighty’s bag and buggy.  Andrew rushed across and pulled the equipment out of the way of the ball which then flew unimpeded into the pond to ensure absolutely no chance of a score for Rob.

Targe has lashed out and bought himself a new pair of shoes using some of his ill-gotten gains in the inside competition.  Targe got a bit concerned when he noticed a large letter W on the box and thought it meant that it might have meant that they were women’s shoes.  He was somewhat reassured that it could very well mean ‘wide’ fitting.  If anybody knows the true meaning of the W, keep it to yourself, we wouldn’t want Targe to know the truth.

Chrispy was in a generous mood this morning and volunteered to give three people a lift to golf this morning.  Apparently it was a bit close and ‘whiffy’ when all and their gear was packed into the woneye express.  And out on the course, Chris was complaining that his playing partners used up all his Priems-tree luck when their shots bounced nicely into the fairway while his trickled down the trunk and spun back to the base of the tree.  The Beast was giving Brendon a bit of a ribbing about the fact that there is only one hole that he hasn’t birdied this year.  It seems that a week or so ago, Brendon had a good chance to fix that little problem but let a 2.5m putt just slip by.

We were pleased to welcome a new member who joined us today though there is some confusion as to what his name really is.  Initially, he was introduced as a long time member of the Royal and Ancient Company of Golfers by the name of Jock Strapp  Then rumours started circulating that he was really a time-travelling Jacobite who was known through the ages as Phillip McCavity.  An even more disturbing possibility came to light when the rumour mill suggested that it was actually Donald Trump on  a mission to add to his collection of golf courses by buying out Royal Ivanhoe.  And last, but not least, that it was actually and orang-utan that had defongerated from the Melbourne Zoo.  After the wild speculations had died down, it was finally revealed that it was none other than Gordo, sporting another of his Oppe Shoppe finds and everybody agreed that his appearance was much improved as a result.  There was also great general relief when it was revealed that his ambition to wear a girls school uniform as well was thwarted, firstly by a singular lack of willing school-girls and second, by an eminently sensible better half who absolutely forbade it.

Next week is the December Monthly Medal to finalise this year’s Championships.  It is also the first round of the Strokeplay Championship.  After the round, there will be the usual Club lunch and the Calcutta Auction for the Vin O’Meara Stakes to be run over the following two weeks.  We have a number of scratchings (horses that will not be up for sale in the Auction) already and if you fit into this category, please advise Harry and or SOS as soon as possible to simplify the execution of the event and the accounting for the funds taken in and given out.  Also note that if you opt out of the Auction, you can still play in the event, the calcutta will be determined by the placings of those horses that are sold.

Results for Saturday, 19 November 2016
1st Simon Powell(+6) 2nd Joe Wagenecht(+5) 2nd Dale Webb(+5) 3rd Stephen O’Sullivan(+1) 3rd Chris Vinecombe(+1) 4th Craig Cameron(□) 4th Michael Gourlay(□) 4th Craig Sharp(□) 4th Rodney White(□) 5th Stefan Belevski(-1) 5th Rod Grant(-1) 5th Chris Priems(-1)

Seniors Results: 1st Simon Powell (+6) 2nd Craig Cameron (□) 3rd Rod Grant (-1)

Nearest the Pin Results: ProPin 12th Craig Cameron BallPin 18th Jackpot

The season is in wind down mode.  This year’s golf season, that is.  You could be forgiven for imagining that the weather is also in wind down mode if not wind back.  After a couple of beautiful days during the week it was out with the winter gloves again today and the couple of glimpses of the sun did little to lift the temperature or the spirits.  Twenty players set out to try their hand a collecting the next to last trophy up for grabs in individual competition for this year.  For better or for worse, nineteen players finished on the 18th.  One player handed in his chips on the 17th after his ball could not be found and he couldn’t be bothered walking back to the tee.  That’s the trouble with being honest.  Most people would have declared that it was most likely in the hazard and taken the penalty with the hope of an up and down from the far side of the pond.  As it turned out, the group in front had heard the ball enter the water and so Brendon could have finished the round quite legally by taking the penalty.

But the Birthday Birdie obviously arrived early for Craig and presented him with a gift, albeit a couple of days early.  Craig kept his head down and his eye on the ball and the putts kept falling in.  As the saying goes, you drive for show but you putt for dough and very often that is the main difference between an average round and a good one – the putts keep dropping.  Well done Craig, a bit late to challenge for the Championship but you are now a very worthy contender for the Champion of Champions event.  A couple of birdies along the way helped a bit with the Eclectic though the handicap change cut a bit of the gloss from that.  Brendon still has the lead in this event and with only three rounds to go, he might be a bit hard to bring down but it is not impossible.  And, while thinking of birdies, there were a total of 17 altogether today, which is not a bad number considering the windy conditions and the diabolical placement of some of the pins.

It seems that Ed has given up work and is embarking a new career as a golfer if the fact that he is taking lessons and is playing up to five times a week is any guide.  Also, he says as much himself.  So, it is not surprising that Ed played exactly to his handicap today and he had to take a four putt on the 18th to do it.  Maybe it was the wind, but a quick survey after the game showed that at least four other people managed to achieve that not particularly bragg-worthy land-mark.  Ed looked as if he was going to tear the course apart after starting with 3 birdies in the first four holes even though he did have to sink a 20m putt to get one of them.  Ed also managed to collect the ProPin on the 12th today with a shot that put him 4.35m from the hole.  Not a bad dividend given that it was a jackpot from last week and it was Double Dollars for today.

Simon is also putting in some hard yards to improve his game.  He now has a membership card for IPGC and is skiving off from work a couple of times during the week to fit in the nine holes or so before his mid-morning meetings.  The effort seems to be paying off with him striking the ball well and consistently, except maybe for the 16th where a poor drive and a run in with the water hazard from the second shot made all the difference in the final result.

Joe has been checking and double-checking that he has qualified for the Monthly Medal and so it was expected that he would be out there putting in his best shot to take the top spot.  Unfortunately, Joe will have to wait a little longer after the putter let him down on a couple of occasions.  So it was only 4th place today alongside Stefan who didn’t drive any greens today but he did go close to sinking an approach shot on the 4th by means of a ricochet  Not sure what the obstacle was but this was after Jason had chipped in and Gordon’s ball went past the hole and then rolled back and fell in.  It definitely was not back-spin.  Estimates of the time taken for the ball to fall vary widely but Gordon is quite confident that the time frame was within the Rules of Golf.

Now comes the man that a few were hoping would stay away on his holiday a bit longer and that he would cease and desist from playing golf while upon said holiday.  That, of course, is none other than the Beast who managed to snag himself another point today to make it just that little bit harder for anyone to overtake him in the next three weeks.  It is possible, of course, and threats of knee-cappings might just have to be taken seriously.  Nothing like a good slug-fest to see out the final rounds of the year.  Bill was joined in 5th spot by Jason who is thinking of getting his name tattooed on his forehead to reduce the number of times that he is mistaken for somebody else.

Actually, getting back to Bill, he creamed his second shot (after having creamed his first) on the 6th and the ball rolled quite comfortably to the centre of the green just in a nice spot to interfere with the line of one of the players still occupying the green.  So, the ball had to be marked, and what a ball it was.  A grubbier, more worn ball has rarely graced the manicured fairways and greens of Ivanhoe.  Conservative estimates put the age at at least ten rounds and still no KO.  Bill will undoubtedly be pleased to have made it closest on the BallPin 12th hole so that he will be able to pension off ‘old reliable’ for a nice shiny new one sometime soon.

DennisW might have been a bit unlucky to be out of the points today but he does reckon he was lucky to have made past the red markers on one hole.  There was no evidence of there having been any actual draughties today so the bar staff had a pretty easy day.  Simon had just completed his tee shot on the 8th when there was an odd sort of a sound and his driver clattered to the ground.  It wasn’t that he was disgusted with his shot, it was that he had been hit on the knee by a ball from the 5th tee.  Not one of ours this time and they claimed to have given warning.  Maybe the wind carried the call away.

Mehm continues on his winless ways and he was really hoping not to make it to his two year anniversary.  There was almost a consolation prize today though when it put the ball onto the 17th green with an eminently gettable putt for the Eagle and the handful of eggs in the nest since the last time it was raided.  The ball slipped by the hole by the narrowest of margins and Mehm had to settle for the birdie.  Ryan was a bit crooked on the placement of the pins today, particularly the one on the 12th for the ProPin.  Ryans ball was closer to the pin that Ed’s but it was off the green by only a few millimetres.

The round wasn’t all that far off the pace today but there was a bit of a gap opened up between one of the middle groups and the front runners.  And there were groups of three bringing up the rear.  So an enterprising type suggested that two of the groups should join up to reduce the pain of waiting.  And, it looks as if they had a mighty fine time of it if the happy snap is anything to go by.  There is no truth to the rumour that Ryan is auditioning for the next KISS revival tour.

The Birthday Birdie has another call to make this week and that is to our oldest member, young Mal, who racks up another milestone in a couple of days and makes it just that little bit easier to achieve his goal of playing a round (as distinct from playing around) under his age.  The latter past-time can best be left to Noodles.

Don’t forget that you can pay your subs for next year any time soon.  The Club is up for the GolfLink subs immediately in the New Year and we would like to get them in before the Christmas Party (if not sooner).  Anybody who plans to change their GolfLink status (home/non-home, opt in/opt out) could they please advise as soon as possible.

Preparation of the Form Guide for the Vin O’Meara Stakes is about to get under way and we are also looking for advice on which members will be not playing in the whole event (either none or only one day) and which members do not wish to be included in the Calcutta Auction.  If you are unfamiliar with the Calcutta concept have a read of the Rules and/or ask one of the longer term members.

Results for Saturday, 05 November 2016
1st Craig Cameron(64) 2nd Ed Kloprogge(68) 3rd Simon Powell(69) 4th Stefan Belevski(70) 4th Joe Wagenecht(70) 5th Bill Eastoe(71) 5th Jason Hopkins(71)

Seniors Results: 1st Craig Cameron (64) 2nd Ed Kloprogge (68) 3rd Simon Powell (69)

Nearest the Pin Results: ProPin 12th Ed Kloprogge BallPin 15th Bill Eastoe