Yearly Archives: 2018

At least one round of the Vin O’Meara has been completed on schedule this year as Melbourne turned on a beautiful day and gave us just a little taste of what a northerly is capable of doing to the temperature as the mercury soared into the early thirties for the first time in a while.  The attractions of a clean sheet as far as Championship points and Eclectic are concerned, as well as checking on the condition of their expensive horses and the mindset of the jockey on board, were enough to bring 23 players out for at least the first round of this year’s opening Major.  A few have to flit off to here, there and everywhere to take care of familial duties, to recharge their batteries and maybe even have to work for their living.  Hopefully, some members who couldn’t make it today will be able to fill the ranks next week in place of Simon, JQ and Jason.

Heading the leaderboard is none other than our charitable Kiwi, Brendon, who managed to grin and bear it to put together a card of 78 off the stick for a very respectable 67 nett.  A very steady round with no fewer than nine fours on the card within ten holes.  Pretty boring for the handicapper to enter.

Pepsi was going gangbusters on the front nine with only a single bogie to finish one under par.  But, his concentration seems to have slipped a little on the back as he finished the round the neat four over to play exactly to his handicap.  Also on 68 was Ryan who also had a pretty flashy front nine only to slip after Harry mentioned that he had 20 points on his inside card.  It seems that Ryan likes stroke because you don’t know how well you are going based on points scored.  Perhaps he’s never heard of subtraction.

Chrispy was wearing a yellow bucket hat today although it was not one of the new Leuk numbers.  At one stage during the round he took it off and almost blinded Gordon, so brightly did the sun shine off his highly polished pate.  The warming of the brain did not affect his game however as he put together a card to give himself a handy, come from behind, total of 69.

Simon shot himself in the foot by mis-reading the calendar and booking a holiday cruise that will keep him off the course for the next couple of weeks and so his card of 70 will serve only as a place-keeper in the history of golf at Ivanhoe.  On the other hand, Bill, Trevor and Brent will consider themselves to have something of a chance with only four strokes between them and the leader.

With eight horses within five strokes and a couple more only a point or two further off the pace, as Sherlock would say, The game is afoot!  Lots of loot from the Calcutta could very well swing on a missed putt or a fluffed chip.  And, as for the rest, they will probably have to take consolation in the fact that not everybody can win and, hopefully, their buyers will forgive them.

The BallPin was on the 12th and ‘Butter Menthol’ Hill took some pleasure in taking out Brendon in the contest for the ball.  The first ProPin was on the 12th and the marker did not move after the first group went through and Peter placed his ball a very handy 3.15m from the pin.  There was  a Jackpot on the ProPin on the 18th and, maybe to console himself for the outcome in Northcote last weekend, Michael got his to 3.83m to take the money.  The shine did come off a bit when it was revealed that he took three putts to put it away.

There were 17 birdies on the card today which is a fair average number for the size of the field.  However, what was remarkable was that five of those birdies were recorded on the 14th.  It wasn’t that the pin was in a particularly favourable position (if there is such a thing on the 14th) so the stars and planets must have aligned for a number of people, including Harry, who considered it something of a highlight for the year and this is only the first round.  There was another birdie that couldn’t really appear on the card.  Blighty was apparently suffering an attack of the power shanks and speared one into a tree out of which fell, as dead as a maggot, a rainbow lorikeet.  If we keep this up, there’ll be precious little bird-life left on the course.

SOS was spotted buying a round of drinks thanks to a draughtie on the 15th after going close to having a groundie and managing to nudge the ball something less than a metre from the tee.  Blighty’s shanks caused him to go close several times but he escaped the ignominy of having to buy the drinks.  Brent ended up in the leaves under the tree behind the 8th and when he made his shot, his ball travelled hardly any distance at all.  The ball that was hidden in the leaves beneath his travelled somewhat further.  Harry, on the other hand, can’t wait until January 1 next year when his double hit will count as only one stroke and not two as it did today.

Chrispy was seen with a babe in his arms (no, the girls were not down from Echuca) and he was busy coochy-cooing to his new(ish) grandchild.  However, he will have to be careful not to be accused of cruelty to children when he was overheard singing (and the term is used loosely) Collingwood songs.  Talk about trying to get them young!

Congratulations also to Michael who has been doubly blessed by becoming a grandfather in the last week and has now been elevated to the exalted ranks of the Club Seniors.  Some chance of points on his first outing.

Also a big shout out to RodG who has had his second round of cataract surgery.  Watch out when he gets back and can see the ball with both eyes.  And another one to Mal who has had a pacemaker installed and is looking forward to being able to run up the hills when he gets back.  Get well soon and see you back at the Break-up, if not before.

Results for Saturday, 01 December 2018
Leaderboard Round 1 1st Brendon Mitchell(67) 2nd Andrew Petricola(68) 2nd Ryan Porker(68) 3rd Chris Priems(69) 4th Simon Powell(70) 5th Bill Eastoe(71) 5th Trevor Jackson(71) 5th Brent Rowley(71)

Seniors Leaderboard: 1st Simon Powell (70) 2nd Bill Eastoe (71) 2nd Trevor Jackson (71) 3rd Michael Gourlay (73)

Nearest the Pin Results: ProPin No 1 15th Peter Damou ProPin No 2 18th Michael Gourlay BallPin 12th Gordon Hill

The whole field was on tenterhooks.  There had been some good rain during the week.  Would the course be wet?  Would the rain stay away today?  Would the wind blow a dog off a chain?  Would there be an upset in the top placings on the Championship Table?  Would the sausages get cooked?  Would there be any money around for the Auction?  So many questions!

But, the question that really mattered was, who would win the final Monthly Medal for the year?  Chrispy desperately wanted to so that he could get himself a place in the Champion of Champions field.  Noodles desperately wanted to so that he had a chance to oust JQ.  Simon desperately wanted to so that he could oust Noodles and Gordon desperately wanted to so that he could oust Simon.  As it turned out, there was precious little ousting done.

The man who managed to beat the field with a very impressive 71 off the stick and a nett score of 66 was none other than Pepsi who managed to do it with only three birdies on his card and in that small way he contributed to the 15 birdies that the 19 members who turned up could score for the day.  The win boosted him up the table in the Vardon Trophy and he went close to pipping JQ at the post in this new event.  The damage to the handicap will require him to keep his head down just that little bit more over the next two weeks.

Blighty was second on the day after being Club House leader for some little while with his nett 67 scorecard.  And for that he should be thankful to his playing companions who pointed out that he was teeing up in front of the markers rather than letting him play for the penalty.  And this from a guy who is usually so pedantic about lining things up.

Now, several weeks ago this particular member was contemplating giving the game away it had gone so bad (or so he said).  However, the last few weeks have shown that talent, if not good looks, will win the day and he went reasonably close to getting his Champion of Champions qualification.  Obviously the man in question is none other than Chrispy who presented to the judges with a nett 68.

Porks managed to spray a few off the tee today but then pulled off some impressive recovery shots including one on the 5th that finished on the green close enough for the birdie result.  With a slightly more measured approach off the tee the placing could very well have been much better.  Next, came a swag of players in fifth spot with Trevor, Simon and JQ sharing that honour and a point each.

That means that the placings at the top of the Championship and the Seniors Championship are unchanged and congratulations must go to JQ and Simon for a great year of golf.  To the runners-up and the also-rans, take consolation in the fact that there is a whole new year about to start and this could very well be your turn to shine.

The BallPin today was on the 7th and with the course set up for the black course (white markers) there was a fairly long hit though the ground staff did have a little pity and set the whites in front of the blues (go figure).  Daniel looked as if he might have the ball within his grasp but then along came Simon who managed to get his ball closer.  Not close enough to make the birdie though.  The Jackpot ProPin on the 15th went to JQ who made it to 1.95 m and he eventually got his money when he realised how much he was spending at the Auction and needed to raise more funds.  The ProPin on the 18th managed to keep everybody more than 5m from the pin and so there will be a Jackpot to be had next week.

As well as the 15 birdies, there was another Eagle today on the 10th hole which would have to be a fairly rare occurrence.  The man who managed a Hole-in-One from about 112m a couple of weeks ago for just the one ball, today managed to put one into the hole from about 130m out to collect 2 balls.  The poor old Eagle is starting to cry tears of blood.  Just in case you didn’t realise, today’s Eagle man was the Beast.  And, just before tee time, somebody commented that Bill’s body had been invaded by an alien.  Maybe they were right!

Porks only had the 13th to complete his set of birdies for the year and it would have really consolidated his position at the head of the Eclectic.  Unfortunately, he could only manage the par and so he was reduced to running back and forth to check on whether Brendon had made any valuable birdies.  No such luck for Brendon and so Porks held onto his reasonably comfortable margin to take the Eclectic.

Peter reckons there is a hex on him on the 1st tee as he managed not even to get past the white tee markers with his first shot.  It wasn’t a good day off the tee for Peter as he sconed them time after time.  On the 3rd, the ball looked to be heading out of bounds when it hit a tree and came back in but did not reach the red markers.  Next off the tee, Harry went close to missing the ball altogether and barely made it to the second tee box let alone the one carrying the red markers.

Gordon decided he needed more room to set up his bag and buggy so he ensconced himself in the Golf Academy coaching room and sorted everything out to his satisfaction.  Then, when he made to leave the room, he found that the buggy wheels were too wide for the door so he had to unpack it all again to get out.  And that probably set the tone for his golf for the day.  And, speaking of buggies, Rob has repaired his again and so far it has lasted three rounds but it hasn’t improved his game at all.

A few times during the round, the weather tried to intervene.  There were a couple of showers that warranted an umbrella but nothing needing the wet weather gear.  And a few times the breeze did get up just a little.  While Bill was searching for a place to set up the bar-be-que that might be a bit sheltered and would allow the burners to stay alight, he managed to get this snap that suggested that there was more than a zephyr involved.  Either that or Harry always stands like that.

Daniel did a great job of cooking the snags and onions so it is not often that we can claim that we had a chef-cooked lunch and that on his day off.  And he wasn’t getting paid for it.  Now that is what you would have to call dedication to the cause.

After the bar-be-que, the usual shenanigans happened at the Auction and the usual suspects dug deep to buy their fancied steeds.  And maybe some that they didn’t necessarily fancy.  Gordon will collate all of the sales and will advise purchasers of any monies still owing.  Buyer’s should ensure that they pay all monies to Gordon at their first opportunity, offer the half share option to the jockeys and collect any such half-share monies.  They are also responsible for distributing any winnings after the event.

Results for Saturday, 24 November 2018
1st Andrew Petricola(66) 2nd Andrew Blight(67) 3rd Chris Priems(68) 4th Ryan Porker(69) 5th Trevor Jackson(70) 5th Simon Powell(70) 5th John Quinlan(70)

Seniors Results: 1st Andrew Blight (67) 2nd Simon Powell (70) 2nd Trevor Jackson (70) 3rd Gordon Hill (74)

Nearest the Pin Results: ProPin No 1 15th John Quinlan ProPin No 2 18th Jackpot BallPin 7th Simon Powell

Eagle’s nest Results: Eagle 10th Bill Eastoe

What an absolutely brilliant Spring day in Melbourne.  The sun was shining, the sulphur-cresteds were shrieking, the fairways were green and the greens were fairways (I mean smooth).  So, there was absolutely no reason why the 20 members who fronted up for the last, long awaited, Stableford Competition of this Year shouldn’t have scored their pants off.

As it turned out, you almost needed to play to your handicap even to score a point (well three anyway).  The Beast was still reeling from the effects of his big win in the Fed (sic) Kitson and took a stroke on the 18th when he didn’t actually have one.  Daniel was still reeling from his big win last week and he took two strokes on a couple of holes when he actually only had one.  But, he also missed one where he actually had two for a nett loss of a point.  As a result, the pair of them finished on the same score and still in the lead so no having to give balls back or other embarrassments.  Thirty eight points is not quite the same a thirty nine but at least there is slightly less harm to the handicap.  Just goes to prove that JQ is not the only one who can win two weeks in a row.

Damo collected the five points for second place with his score of 37 points and, in the process he edged just a little bit closer to catching JQ in the race for Vardon Trophy.  Damien is probably regretting the gash that he took on the 3rd and even the three one pointers that could have made all the difference to the final result.

Dennis managed to find a break in the work load down at the Darklands and came to play.  Unfortunately, it took him about eight holes to warm up.  When he did warm up, it was to the tune of twenty nine points in ten holes.  Pretty flash scoring in anybody’s books and just one over the par for the back nine.  Watch out if he gets the engine revving earlier in the round.

Matt was the sole representative from The Basin today and, despite looking a bit downcast as he walked back to the Clubhouse, he put together a pretty good round to get 4th place with 35 points.  Craig hasn’t been with us for a little while but he did own up to playing four rounds of golf last weekend up around the gold-fields.  The practice obviously stood him in good stead as he came in 5th spot with his card of 34 points.

Interestingly, none of the three Championship leaders featured in the points table today but the opera ain’t over ’til the fat lady sings.  It is possible that Noodles can overtake JQ.  Simon can overtake Noodles.  Gordon can overtake Simon.  Although Brendon and Dale can overtake, and Chrispy can catch, Gordon such an eventuality would not put them into the trophy list.  Probably as close a result as we have had for some time.  In the Seniors, the only interest is whether Harry can catch or overtake Dennis for third place.  It is possible that the Eclectic could see Porks overtaken by Blighty, Brendon or Noodles and there was a suggestion that, today, Ryan was playing for handicap to increase his lead.  Let the (mind) games begin!

The Beast and Porks decided on a little matchplay wager over the last nine holes.  Bill just about broke Ryan’s heart when a sank a 20m putt on the 11th for a birdie when Ryan had pretty much a gimme for his par.  That birdie was just one of the 14 that we were able to score for the day.  The BallPin on the 12th fell to Peter with a good result considering the pin position tight in the right hand corner of the green.  The first ProPin on the 15th proved much more elusive despite the fact that there was plenty of green to play with and there will be a jackpot up for grabs next week.  The ProPin on the 18th created a bit of excitement, so much so that Jason neglected to measure the distance but the general consensus was that it was less than a metre from the hole and pin high.  No birdie though.  You’ll have to work on your accuracy, Jason!  On the green as well as from the tee.

Jason’s stardom on the 18th followed closely on a chip-in on the 17th although that was only for a par as well.  Ben likes to make sure that his playing companions don’t go thirsty.  Yet again, he volunteered to buy a round of drinks by having an airie on the 16th.  Not wanting to have Ben feeling left out, Peter obliged by having one on exactly the same hole.

After waiting for the green to clear on the 14th, the Beast put his ball not too far from one of the parked buggies.  Not to be out-done, Porks laid into his and put his ball well through the green.  Only trouble was, it was left of the green and on the way through the ball grazed Dennis’s leg as he departed for the 15th tee.  No harm done but Dennis was threatening to sue.  In a jesting sort of way.

JQ has been gallivanting around Asia again and flew back into town at some ridiculous hour.  Not wanting to miss a chance to consolidate his spot at the top, he dragged himself along and blamed tiredness for losing a ball on the 17th that he was sure had finished on the green.  Some thought that is could have been the effect of the bubbles that they serve up the pointy end of the plane rather than jet-lag.  Harry had no such excuses for a fairly sorry day with the putter and after missing one from about 300mm, Bill was moved to comment “You keep finding new ways to miss ’em, H!”

Only one more week for points for this year.  There will be a bar-be-que after the round next week and that will be followed by the Calcutta Auction.  If anybody will not be playing both days or, if they will be playing both days but do not wish to be auctioned, could they please let Harry know asap so that the Form Guide can be finalised and we do not sell horses unnecessarily.  Monies must be paid in before the start of play in the Vin O’Meara. There is also the, optional, all in buy yourself ($25) for which the money will be collected at the same time.  Also, the next three weeks of stroke competition constitute the Club Stroke Play Championship.

Results for Saturday, 17 November 2018
1st Bill Eastoe(38) 1st Daniel O’Rourke(38) 2nd Damien Lee(37) 3rd Dennis Tiernan(36) 4th Matt Hunt(35) 5th Craig Cameron(34)

Seniors Results: 1st Bill Eastoe (38) 2nd Dennis Tiernan (36) 3rd Craig Cameron (34)

Nearest the Pin Results: ProPin No 1 15th Jackpot ProPin No 2 18th Jason Hopkins BallPin 12th Peter Damou

The Spring Carnival is all but done and dusted and the Nation struggles to get back into first gear after being stopped last Tuesday.  The recent rain events have freshened up the course no end with the fairways nice and green and the greens in excellent condition.  It is no wonder, then, that 21 members were out and about on a day that started off a bit on the cool side but which soon warmed up pleasantly.  There was absolutely no excuse for not scoring well.

As if to thumb his nose to those who suggested that he had done his dash last week, JQ put together an even better round this week to propel himself to the top of the Championship ladder but at the expense of another couple of strokes off his handicap for his +3 result.  The putter was working well today and reports have it that about nine missable putts proved to be no problem and this made the difference between also-ran and winner.  Daniel hasn’t been with us all that long but he has been doing a bit of sniffing around in the placings and he has now been rewarded with his first win with the Club when he also carded a +3.  This puts him well up in the rankings for Strike Rate and if he could keep that up for a full year, the Championship would be his in a canter.  A year is a long time in Golf however.  He misses out on qualifying for the Vardon Trophy and it looks as if JQ could have his hands on the inaugural award of this new gong.  But, there are still two rounds to go.

Peter has also been quite successful in his short time with the Club and, being only a point behind the winners, there were probably any number of chances that could have made all the difference.  One shot, in particular, was his effort from the tee at the first as he drove, with all of the membership watching, right into the garden bed in front and so scored the first draughtie for the day.  A good effort to come back after that.  Damo started off a bit on the scratchy side but by the 6th he had gotten his eye in and scored his first birdie for the day.  He followed up with another three in the rest of the round and contributed as much as anybody to the total of 17 that the Club managed for the day.

Bob was heard to be giving himself a good talking to, which is not surprising as we know what a perfectionist Bob is when it comes to his game.  Whether the self-admonishment did any good can probably be debated but it was good enough to get him home in +1.  Gordo came in with the same score at the end of the day but he needed four birdies and Targe to get him to the line.  Three of the birdies were the regular golfing type (two were chip-ins – or should that be chips-in?, which hardly count) and one was a magpie.  The bird was obviously in big strife after taking a hit and Gordon couldn’t bring himself to deal with it and a call went out to Targe who detached himself from the group in front to do the necessary deed.

And, speaking of Targe, it was great to see him back on the track after his recent attempt at learning to fly by throwing himself at the ground and missing.  The final score probably reflected the time away from the clubs but he was good enough to put his ball to 3.26m on the 18th to take out the ProPin and he sank the birdie putt as well.  There was a suggestion that Targe was a couple of centimetres shorter but a broken tape-measure did not allow a check to be made other than to have him stand alongside JQ.

Simon (aka Coughin’ Nail) pretty much achieved his aim of winning the Seniors Championship by coming in with a square card.  Si was concentrating so hard on his next shot that he ran his remote buggy half up the trunk of a tree and turned it base over apex and then had to spend several minutes gathering together all the bits and pieces that spillled far and wide.  Rounding out the place-getters was Dennis who expressed some surprise at collecting a point for his score of -2.

The BallPin today was on the 4th and getting onto the green proved to be elusive until later in the morning when Noodles and The Beast slugged it out over the ball on offer.  Noodles took the day by squeezing one closer than Bill.  The ProPin on the 12th was also proving difficult to get close enough to and the best on the ticket was JQ who had just made it inside the limit at 4.93m.  Then, along came The Beast.  As calmly as you like, he landed the ball onto the green and it ran true, up the hill and fell gently into the hole.  In the process he took out the Eagles Nest (all of one ball), the ProPin and scored the elusive Hole in One and so joined an exclusive little group among the Club Membership.  And, no, there is not a special HIO table reserved for them.

There were a couple of extra draughties taken on the 2nd where the tee markers were some 18m behind the black blocks and the red markers were towards the front of the front tee box.  Perhaps they were put off by the non-existent view of the fairway but both Rob and Matt managed to make a hash of it.  In fact, Rob was taking his sixth shot only 90m in front of the reds.  Matt had a bit of a shocker overall and managed to lose at least 4 balls, including one into the drink on the 17th, but then he compensated by chipping in for birdie on the 18th.

Noodles had better cut back on the number of potato cakes that he eats at half way as he must be packing on the pounds.  He chose to sit on the chain around the 10th tee and it broke sending him sprawling backwards and scattering potato cakes far and wide.  Whether Noodles or the magpies got to eat them was not reported.

Rob fancies himself as a bit of a tradesman and so, when his buggy broke last week, he set off to Bunnings and bought all the bits and pieces that he needed to make repairs.  Wouldn’t you know it, but the buggy broke again today.  Not where Rob had done his repairs but somewhere else entirely.  Obviously the repairs transferred the strain to the next weakest link.

Harry was beginning to think that somebody had stuck a target on his back after a ball from Matt rolled past him as he stood on the 15th tee and a provisional ball from JQ landed a metre or so away as he stood on the 18th tee.  A timely call of ‘fore’ meant that the latter was not entirely unexpected.

It’s Membership Fees time again. $30 for Club membership and $90 extra if you are maintaining a GA handicap (total $120).  Please pay by bank transfer into the Club account (with your name as the entry for the Club account) as this greatly facilitates keeping track of who has paid and the Treasurer doesn’t want to be saddled with large amounts of cash to deal with.  If you are planning to change your status with respect to your GA membership please advise as soon as possible so that the necessary changes can be made before the census date (end of December).

If you have registered interest in going to the Annual Challenge next September please transfer your $50 deposit to the Club account (with your name).  If you have to change your mind later, the deposit will be refundable but we do not want to subsidise people by having to dip into Club funds for the due Deposit to guarantee the booking.

Results for Saturday, 10 November 2018
1st Daniel O’Rourke(+3) 1st John Quinlan(+3) 2nd Peter Damou(+2) 2nd Damien Lee(+2) 3rd Gordon Hill(+1) 3rd Bob McDonald(+1) 4th Simon Powell(□) 5th Dennis Ward(-2)

Seniors Results: 1st Bob McDonald (+1) 1st Gordon Hill (+1) 2nd Simon Powell (□) 3rd Dennis Ward (-2)

Nearest the Pin Results: ProPin No 1 12th Bill Eastoe ProPin No 2 18th Targe Mifsud BallPin 4th Stephen Butterfield

Hole in One Results: Hole in One 12th *** Bill Eastoe ***