Yearly Archives: 2018

Well it wasn’t quite the day that the sun stood still (that comes later in the week) but there were some other dire forecasts about impending rain and there were a few anxious eyes cast to the skies when a hand-full of drops fell on about the 14th.  A few spots was all it was and the wind was a mere zephyr compared to what you can get on King Island although some did complain about the effect it was having on the flight of the ball.  Or was that just crappy ball striking?  So, everybody finished dry if a little chilled around the extremities though there was one set of shorts out of the cupboard with a cheery observation that the temperature was as much as seven degrees.  Obviously never heard of wind-chill!

The surgeon obviously did more than just fix Ryan’s knee.  He has obviously fixed his golf game as well.  Or, maybe, he was stung by his second placing last week to try a little harder today.  He tried so much harder that he absolutely blitzed the field and coasted home to take the points and a clear lead in the Championship with a +5 result.  The win and the bust caused a bit of harm on the handicap front and the margin in the Eclectic is back down to a more achievable level.  Ryan went close to adding to his laurels on the 17th.  With the tee well to the front, the pin was actually visible and Ryan went for it and finished only a metre or so away from the mark.  The putt slipped by and so the Eagle could breathe easy and add another egg to the nest for next week.  The birdie was easily done and brought the total for the day to six which is probably a bit low for a field of 17 players.

Blighty started off a bit shaky, particularly off the tee.  But, later in the round, after analysing his swing and deciding to stop trying to ‘steer’ the ball, he really started to ‘cream’ it and with a bit of sharp play around the greens the scoring rate improved and he ended the day in positive territory to take the second place points in the main event and the top points in the Seniors.

Mattie started out with a burst and racked up five plusses in seven holes.  This pretty much broke the Beast’s heart as the pair of them were slugging it out in the Matchplay semi-final as well.  This burst left Matt with an impressive lead of four up and, try as he might, Bill was struggling to reel him back in although he had made up a couple by the 14th.  Matt got a bit of a second wind however and the match went dormie three.  Another win on the 16th clinched the deal and Matt took the match with a convincing 4 and 2.  Matt now meets JQ in the Final and Bill will play off for third against Stefan.  All will get points.

Trevor was in a group with Bob and between the pair of them they seem to have had more than a little trouble with knowing how many and which holes Trev had two strokes on.  The upshot was that Trev moved up into 4th place and joined Whitey on the podium with a score line of -1  And just a point behind to collect the last points for the day were Whitey and Dale.

Dale had another little victory today when he put his drive on the 12th to about a metre from the hole to collect the BallPin trophy for the day.  The two ProPins were on the 15th and the 18th and both of them went begging so there will be a reasonable stash of cash up for grabs next week.

Jason pulled one of his trick shots out of the bag today when the ball finished behind him.  He didn’t hit a tree or a post or a buggy.  He almost didn’t hit the ball and topped it so much that it took back=spin when it hit the ground and ran back the way it came to finish where it did.  Harry reckons that he has been making so many ‘scones’ lately that he is thinking of joining the CWA.

Chrispy’s drive on the 13th headed so far left that it was deemed to be OOB for sure.  On proceeding to the area, the ball was found lying on the roadway.  Chris reckons that it must have hit a house to have come that far back out.  Chris also found a ball inscribed with ‘chinese’ characters by the 18th green.  He reckons it was as hard as the floor tiles in the club-house and when he despatched it towards the river, he worried that he might have damaged his club.

A member of the public was spotted wandering aimlessly across the 14th and 16th fairways staring intently at some sort of device.  It seems that Pokemon Go has made some sort of a come-back and perhaps this was a symptom of that particular craze.  Either that or stupidity (or both).

JQ  used his son’s swimming lesson as an excuse to drop into the Clubhouse.  However, we all know that he was really there to suss out who he was going to have to play in the final for the Matchplay Championship.  He obviously means business since he seems to have picked up a brand new set of clubs that have been made especially to fit.

Brent also has a little trick that could be classified as a bit on the gruesome side.  It seems that his little finger on his left hand dislocates rather easily and, a couple of times today, it popped out in the course of a swing at the ball.  Just as easily popped back in, it seems.  Whether this contributed to the lack of a placing today is still undetermined.

Brendon was checking on the guidelines for setting up a course for play and, in particular to positioning of the pin on the green.  The guide indicates that it should be not less than ‘four paces’ (say three metres) from the edge.  There are a few other criteria as well.  The feeling is that these guidelines have not been followed on this course for some considerable time.  And these are not the only ones but let’s not go there.

Results for Saturday, 16 June 2018
1st Ryan Porker(+5) 2nd Andrew Blight(+1) 3rd Matt Hunt(□) 4th Trevor Jackson(-1) 4th Rodney White(-1) 5th Stephen Butterfield(-2) 5th Dale Webb(-2)

Seniors Results: 1st Andrew Blight (+1) 2nd Trevor Jackson (-1) 3rd Bill Eastoe (-3) 3rd Dennis Ward (-3) 3rd Simon Powell (-3)

Nearest the Pin Results: ProPin No 1 15th Jackpot ProPin No 2 18th Jackpot BallPin 12th Dale Webb

While the cat was away, fourteen mice came out to play.  It seems that Madge’s birthday and, possibly the bit of rain over night and with a few sprinkles still around early served to keep the numbers down a bit.  But, the course management deemed the ground damp enough to warrant preferred lies.  So, that would have made those calling for that relief over the last couple of weeks happy as a result.  The big question would have to be, did the relief make for better scoring or not?

Perhaps the conclusion could be that it didn’t as, in line with recent weeks, the number of players breaking their handicap was pretty low.  In fact, only one person managed to do so and, in the process of winning the day with 37 points, Damo propelled himself to the top of the Championship Table and he also boasts a very impressive strike rate of over three points per round to head the table of all comers in the Vardon Trophy.  Now all he has to do is to turn up a few more times to join the ‘qualifiers’.  Maybe it was the warm head and ears that allowed him to maintain focus.

But obviously not focussed enough to pull of a ‘slam-dunk’ on the 7th.  A picture is worth a thousand words so that saves the agony of having to write (and read) that many on the subject.  Needless to say, Damien made the birdie and contributed to the total of 9 that were made for the day.

Captain Pugwash managed not to sink his barge in the canals of France but he did manage to sink large quantities of cheese and wine.  He claims not to have touched a club while away so French wine and cheese is obviously good for your game.  The other thing that might be good for your game is knee surgery although a boating holiday in France is probably to be preferred.  Ryan wasted no time after his return to the playing field snaring the second place alongside Gordon to put himself to the top of the Championship Table beside Damo and a couple of birdies did his position in the Eclectic no harm and he is now holding an impressive lead in that event.

JohnQ was doubly occupied today.  Not only did he have to concentrate on the day’s event, he also had to concentrate on his semi-final match with Stefan.  He played well enough to get third place on the day and also well enough to beat out Stef in the match 2 and 1.  It was a close fought match with the lead changing several times and the position being all square after 14 holes.  Consecutive wins by John made the match dormie two.  Stef needed a birdie to win the 17th but didn’t quite manage it and the squared hole gave the match to John.  And who’s been talking himself down for the last three rounds?  Anyway, back to the day’s results.  Joe also managed to get 35 points to share third place.  Joe might be a tad disappointed though having started the round like a house on fire to card 22 points on the front only to fade  on the back.  Dale, on the other hand could have been forgiven for going home after the front only to come home with all guns blazing and making twenty points on the back to bring his total for the day to 29.

Simon has been consulting with his coach again and his driver was working a treat after a couple of little tweaks.  Some dark mutterings could be heard around the greens which suggests that some more time in the back yard might be warranted.  The cats are probably safe though as the second place in the Seniors gives him back a bit of a lead over Harry.

There were a swag of members lining up for the last point of the day and, although some Michaels might quibble about getting points for a card of 32 points, Stef, Noodles, Jason and Dennis will surely not complain.

The BallPin was on the 15th and JQ squeezed out Dale for the ball although he didn’t put it close enough to get the birdie.  The first ProPin was on the 12th and Porks made a meal of it by getting to 2.26m.  Joe snared the money from the 18th with a shot to 4.12m.

The practice putting green has been closed for maintenance and staff were being very vigilant to ensure that there was no trespassing.  Perhaps the lack of pre-game practice contributed to the low scoring.  Targe in particular missed several from close range although he did compensate a little by sinking a couple of ‘monsters’.

RodW decided to by-pass his putter on the 8th and chipped from the back of the green and right into the hole.  Possibly one of the highlights of his day.  Dennis is thinking of becoming an arborist after getting up close and personal with a rather large tree on the 9th.

Other than Her Madge, the Birthday Birdie has had little to do this week.  There were no draughties reported so either everybody was very quiet or, like Si, their drivers were working well.

Results for Saturday, 09 June 2018
1st Damien Lee(37) 2nd Gordon Hill(36) 2nd Ryan Porker(36) 3rd John Quinlan(35) 3rd Joe Wagenecht(35) 4th Simon Powell(33) 5th Stefan Belevski(32) 5th Stephen Butterfield(32) 5th Jason Hopkins(32) 5th Dennis Ward(32)

Seniors Results: 1st Gordon Hill (36) 2nd Simon Powell (33) 3rd Dennis Ward (32)

Nearest the Pin Results: ProPin No 1 12th Ryan Porker ProPin No 2 18th Joe Wagenecht BallPin 15th John Quinlan

It was on the 7th green that Simon looked at his Dick Tracy watch and announced calmly that it had just ticked over to 4C.  The Yarra flats at Templestowe had indicated 0.5C on the way to the course but there was no actual frost on the ground though a slight indication of a ‘crunch’ underfoot was detected at one stage.  In other words it was c-c-c-c-c-c-cold and the Proshop did a roaring trade in hand warmers and there were lengthy discussions about the merits of different grades of such devices and the use or otherwise of the winter golf gloves on offer.  And, it seemed to have showed up in the score-cards with the majority of the 19 members who braved the freeze doing significantly less well on the front nine compared to the back.

Overall nobody really set the world on fire and that seems to have applied even outside our field as the DSR for the inside comp was 66 which is probably as high as it has been since the system was introduced.  So, on that basis, it is probably no embarassment that the winning score today was a handicap matching 68 nett.  There were three people who attained that heady goal in the persons of Harry, MattH and Trev and so there needed to be a count-back to determine who was to collect the June Monthly Medal.  With his ‘almost’ personal best score on the back nine of 39 off the stick, Harry took the prize (nett 30) from MattH (nett 32) and Trev (nett 34.5).  After posting two triples and two doubles on the front,  Harry could be excused for thinking his chances were gone but it just goes to show that you should never give up hope.  Trev, on the other hand was about the only one to do worse on the back than on the front and that could easily have cost him the trophy.

Two strokes back were a gaggle of players.  Noodles was pretty unhappy that he had too many three putt greens but then isn’t just one three putt green too many?  Jason just played a boring game and seemingly played with a group of similarly boring partners if his response to a request for tall tales and true was any guide.  MattN made good use of his last ‘regular’ day with us before he heads up to Sinney to hang out with the rabbits up there though there would seem to be little truth in the rumour that he has been recruited as a front row forward.  And, as for Simon, his main worry, besides trying to be not too far behind Harry in the Seniors point scoring was to get away to sell off the family jewels in the form of his mother’s home of many years.

JohnQ pleaded the effects of a cold as he lined up this morning and prepared to do battle with Damo in their Matchplay match.  Obviously setting himself up with an excuse in the event that he went down.  But more of that later.  He obviously played well enough to get himself a third placing with his 71 and he didn’t have to share the podium with anyone.  Michael seems to have acquired an addiction to coffee as he got rather excited when Dennis sprayed his drive on the second into the trees on the right and the ball fell straight to earth somewhere in the vicinity of the red markers.  Dennis had almost resigned himself to his fate but, as it turned out, Michael’s anticipation was premature and the balls was found to be far enough forward and no ’round’ was in order.

The same can’t be said for the group of players who accompanied Pepsi today.  Although he was able to score well enough to match Michael on the podium, Pepsi did manage a power shank from the 7th tee to catch a tree and a ricochet back onto the path beside the tee box.  His nearest relief can be seen in the accompanying shot.  When his mates necked their mid-strengths later there was a suggestion that they tasted  a bit salty.  Something to with what Peps said he was going to put in them it seems.  Wonder if it is like putting lemon in Coronas?

Mal and Damo rounded out the points scoring brigade but, by the time that all the point scorers had been read out, SOS was well and truly to the bottom of his page and the number of pointless players was pretty small indeed.

The BallPin was on the 15th and Harry flew his straight for the pin but the ball made a 25mm deep pitch mark on the green and pulled up in very short order so it is not surprising that he was outdone by Stef who collected the ball on offer.  The first ProPin was on the 12th and, while Michael did a pretty good job of getting it close, Pepsi pinched it away by making it to 1.58m.  Not to be outdone, Michael also put it close on the 18th to 1.95m and remained unchallenged to collect the money on this hole for the second week in a row.  He missed out on the inside cash this week though so he will have to pay his own way next week.  He also did not make the birdie although there were a couple on his card and that helped us get to a total of nine for the day.

The last of the quarter-finals in the matchplay was completed today so everybody left in at least gets some points for their trouble.  The much anticipated clash was between Damo and JQ and, as mentioned earlier, JQ seemed to be preparing his excuses by declaring that he was only playing because it was this stage of the competition.  And, you could have been forgiven for thinking that he was going to need all of his excuses as Damo appeared to be doing it easy with the scoreline at four up in his favour after seven holes.  However, it seems that John got the chip off his shoulder and put it to work on the course to bring the match back to square after another five holes.  From there on, they swapped blows until the match went dormie one and with no stroke for John on the last a repair to the chip off green looked to be a good chance.  Unfortunately for Damien he was unable to make the par on the 18th and John took the match one up.

During the week, Dennis had been skiting that he was planning to win himself another medal and that this was going to be the day.  But, it was not to be and some might suggest Karma took her revenge by inflicting the dreaded double digit score on the 5th.  He wasn’t alone in the double digits though as SOS managed one as well on the 13th.   Rob didn’t reach the heady heights of double digits but he did manage a draughtie on the 15th but there is no suggestion that his beers were tainted in any way.  Brother Chris mused on the topic of runs of good form and bemoaned the fact that his seemed to have been a run of one.

President John took the opportunity to farewell MattN as he heads off to green (and red) pastures up north.  He was thanked for his efforts with the job of Tee Marshall and a replacement will definitely be required although Chrispy did indicate that he would be able to help out as well though he won’t be around for the next couple of weeks.  As farewells were made Damo commented that he hadn’t actually played a round with Matt at which the other Matt chimed in that this was probably why MattN had taken on the job as Tee Marshall.  Who needs enemies?

Results for Saturday, 02 June 2018
1st Harry Boughen(68 MM c/b) 1st Matt Hunt(68) 1st Trevor Jackson(68) 2nd Stephen Butterfield(70) 2nd Jason Hopkins(70) 2nd Matt Nicholls(70) 2nd Simon Powell(70) 3rd John Quinlan(71) 4th Michael Gourlay(72) 4th Andrew Petricola(72) 5th Malcolm Fleming(73) 5th Damien Lee(73)

Seniors Results: 1st Harry Boughen (68) 1st Trevor Jackson (68) 2nd Simon Powell (70) 3rd Malcolm Fleming (73)

Nearest the Pin Results: ProPin No 1 12th Andrew Petricola ProPin No 2 18th Michael Gourlay BallPin 15th Stefan Belevski

At long last, the lows that have been pushing in the persistent cloud cover moved on and a high was able to give us a clear night sky and the temperature dropped pretty significantly over night.  But that caused the moisture in the air to condense into fog and so we teed off into the fog and hoped we hadn’t missed.  There were no reports of balls going missing though the monkeys would have been singing soprano for other reasons.  For some reason, the fog always seemed thicker when you were standing on the tee compared to when you were down the fairway.  Perhaps Jane could explain the phenomenon sometime.  However, despite all this, twenty one (actually twenty-two when we include Brendon who ‘forgot’ to put his card in) members and one guest headed out and didn’t get lost as all made it back to the Club House in good time.

Noodles has been lurking in the background for a while and, despite heading the attendance table his strike rate has not been that great and he was languishing in the nether regions of the Vardon Table.  Today, he took advantage of the GrandPar by taking a birdie on the 3rd to get the two points for the hole and to make one of the 14 birdies that we scored today.  In contrast to many others in the field Noodles fared better on the front nine and must have tired through the back.  On the day, a score of +1 was enough to win the event and to move his handicap down a notch.

Hot on his heels, and only pipped by the two pointer, were a fine group of three.  Stef was always going to be dangerous, particularly when he was firing into the fog early in the round.  He was a bit astray from the 14th and as he waited to play from the 16th fairway, Simon thought he might get a bit of his own back as he teed off from the 16th.  Fortunately (or unfortunately depending on your point of view) the ball went wide of the mark.  Simon’s mate Greg, who was the guest for the day, had no particular axe to grind but he bombed one up and went close to taking out JQ et al.  Stef was joined by Blighty, who was described as ‘dancing about his ball like a ballerina’ as he tried to gauge the break of his putts and Rob who was probably more like the Incredible Hulk at the same task.

There were fears that Michael had made his return too early as there were rumours that his back was back.  He turned up bright and shiny but, like a lot of others, he did not handle the front nine too well.  However he completed the back one under the card off the stick and finished on -1.  The shape of the card was similar for Targe who fared rather better than he did in the previous two weeks.  MattN also played the game of two halves to join in the share of third place.  Jason, on the other hand played a balanced round though he did have more than a little luck with the trees doing him a favour and returning his ball to playable positions.

Harry was another one who struggled a bit with the front nine.  The 10th shaped to be the start of a repeat performance with a minus but from then on, things looked up and H was even able to crack a smile on a couple of occasions.  Brent played a very even hand to join Harry on -2.  The Beast is back from his, seemingly, never-ending jaunt overseas to hone his golfing skills on the fair greens of Scotland, Ireland, England and Wales as well as other places east and west too numerous to mention.  To MattH, went the privilege of the first GrandPar of the day when he made a double on the first.  Two up after one hole, too easy!  Unfortunately, soon to be followed by three scratches in a row.  Oh well, easy come, easy go.

The first ProPin was on the 4th, which some people reckon was too early in the day.  But, it’s the same for everyone so what’s the obs?  In the event, it was Brendon who had his name on the card, but!!!  There was no measurement recorded.  He was in the last group and he reckons that his playing companions said it wasn’t necessary.  Hmmmm!  The BallPin was on the 15th and, possibly because Michael was on a roll by this stage, he had no problems in taking that one out unchallenged.  The same situation prevailed for the ProPin on the 18th and a shot to 1.66m was more than enough to garner the cash for Michael.

The next to last of the matches in the Matchplay quarter-finals was played today between the Beast and Mal.  And, it turned out to be a game of fluctuating fortunes.  Bill would have liked a little more time to adjust his game for the Ivanhoe course after his training run OS but, as both contenders were present, it was game on.  Things went pretty evenly in the foggy conditions early on but, as the fog started to clear, Bill found his range and managed to open up a bit of a lead.  Not to be deterred, Mal fought back with a series of winners including a chip in for birdie on the 14th to make the match dormie two after the 16th.  Perhaps, Mal needed the Butter Menthols but Bill won the next two to finish the match all square.  In the chip-off, Mal made the better chip but Bill made it down with two putts.  Mal was a little enthusiastic with his putt, and, although he rarely misses a second putt, he did this time to bow out of the competition gracefully and in no way disgraced.

Greg was hitting the ball so well today that he is thinking of trying to buy a set of the Hi-Re clubs that he was using today.  Keith reckoned Harry was a jinx for him today as twice when he was teeing off while H was on an adjacent green he shanked the ball into a hazard.  JohnQ had a doozer on the 3rd where the ball took off at nearly 90 degrees, almost took out Noodles and could easily have finished OOB, which would have really rubbed salt into the wounds.

Dennis owned up to having a draughtie today on the 7th.  In his defense, he argued that it was at least 100m between the blue and the red markers but it is doubtful that any of the tee boxes are actually that long.  ChrisV didn’t actually have one, but he was noticed playing his second on the 10th from the slope at the back of the 13th green.  DennisW is recently back from Japan and, in the spirit of conserving resources, he didn’t use his putter on three consecutive holes.  Not because he chipped in, but because he was out of strokes before he got onto the green.  Must have been all that sushi and sashimi.  Some did liken it to a performance by the Bulldogs after half time.  Nudge, nudge, wink, wink!

The story of the day, however would have to relate to SOS.  He was apparently feeling like he needed a bit of a rest and decided to sit himself on the seat attached to his buggy.  Now, as you all know, his buggy is one of those electric ones with a remote control which, as most people do when it is not being used, SOS was carrying in his pocket.  As he went to sit down, the remote activated, the buggy took off and SOS ended up sitting on his dignity (or lack thereof).  Good one, SOS!

MattN let it be known today that he will be decamping to Sydney the week after next and next Saturday will be his last regular game with us.  He does plan to continue to join us if and when he is in Melbourne on a Saturday and he still plans to come to the Annual Challenge.  What it does mean is that we will need a replacement Tee Marshall to corral us up in the mornings.  A number of people have said they were prepared to fill in so, if one of those could step up to the plate and take over the reins, that would be good.  Or even someone from left field.  We would prefer to let Chrispy have his well earned break.

Results for Saturday, 26 May 2018
1st Stephen Butterfield(+1) 2nd Stefan Belevski(□) 2nd Andrew Blight(□) 2nd Robert Priems(□) 3rd Michael Gourlay(-1) 3rd Jason Hopkins(-1) 3rd Targe Mifsud(-1) 3rd Matt Nicholls(-1) 4th Harry Boughen(-2) 4th Brent Rowley(-2) 5th Bill Eastoe(-3) 5th Matt Hunt(-3)

Seniors Results: 1st Andrew Blight (□) 2nd Targe Mifsud (-1) 3rd Harry Boughen (-2)

Nearest the Pin Results: ProPin No 1 4th Brendon Mitchell ProPin No 2 18th Michael Gourlay BallPin 15th Michael Gourlay