Yearly Archives: 2023

With some parts of Victoria experiencing fire and flood this week (e.g. clubs at Maffra and Sale closed due to flooding) there were no problems along the banks of the Yarra at Royal Ivanhoe and all was set for a big monthly medal from the dreaded back-tee white markers, except there were no white markers to be seen.

A somewhat exasperated Chris in the pro-shop explained that there had been a staff no-show and he was on his own and if we wanted the white markers out then we were welcome to do it ourselves.

While the Collingwood supporters mulled about giving each other secret handshakes and generally looking smug, SoS came to the rescue by getting on his bike and herbing about the course putting out the white markers in a cart.  Luckily there are no speed cameras on course and the job was done in record time.

Harry is about to head off on a long holiday to Greece, via Helsinki, Berlin and Prague and he looked determined to keep adding to his points tally before his departure.  After an up and down front 9, he hit his straps on the back coming home with 39 off the stick (86 in total) a net 66 and a very impressive win.  It takes him into second place in the Club Championship race behind runaway leader Raj and further extends his lead in the Seniors Championship.

Harry hit the ball beautifully off the tee all day, was solid with his iron play and stellar with the putter, including one on the 8th that had missed left for all money by a good few inches but somehow did a 90 degree right turn at the hole and dropped in.  When the pressure was on late in the round, Harry made a number of crucial 3-4 foot putts to keep his round on track.  Playing partners Michael and Stan were in awe of an all round brilliant performance from the new Old Reliable.

In second place, it was good to see Stef back playing and his three birdies helped him to a 74 (net 68).  He is one to watch for this year’s Mustard Jacket at Cobram.  Five other players added a birdie each for a total of eight, including a couple for Johnny Q and Blighty that helped their eclectic score, although both are well behind eclectic leader Prez Priems.

In third was Brent who turned up with his dodgy ankle with the match play final on the line (see more below) and snuck it around in 81 (69 net on his club handicap, which, incidentally, appears to be very generous compared to his Golflink handicap).  Club stewards may wish to investigate that before the big weekend at Cobram. This is Brent’s second win in three years in the Match Play and despite being awarded 16 points for the win, unlike other 16 point majors, the Match Play champion doesn’t get docked any winner’s handicap penalty. Something for the rules committee to ponder perhaps.

Brendan and Johnny Q were three shots back in joint fourth place with 72 net. When asked for what he would like to contribute for the day’s blog stories, John said “concern about SLOW PLAY and PUT THAT IN CAPITALS PLEASE”.

The most interesting scorecard of the day belonged to 5th placed Blighty whose net 73 included four 7’s and 10 on the 8th (including two shanks out of bounds).  He also spectacularly near slam dunked his second shot at the 14th into the hole for an eagle, the rattling of the pin startling the group ahead on the 16th fairway.

One of Blighty’s 7’s set off some discussion about the drinks buying protocol when you have had two shots and are still behind the ladies tee. Is that two beers?  Apparently not. It was noted that Rob has previously  made a Presidential decree that you can only owe one beer per round.  The story goes that this rule was invoked on a day when Rob potentially owed 6 beers but that may be another member with the same surname telling porkies.

Speaking of Porks, he was 2up after 3 in the match play final against Brent and looking good. Still 1up after 11, Brent was able to claw back to square with a handy handicap advantage when both parred the 12th (Porks had to give him 5 shots, including the 12th).

Porks then made an 8 on the 13th and Brent hit the lead. It was back to square after 14 when Brent hit his drive out of bounds and despite making a birdie with his second ball, Pork’s par was enough to win the hole.  The 15th was squared and standing on the 16th tee it was set for a grandstand finish. However two holes later with par/birdie on 16/17, Brent secured the win 2 and 1.

Witnessing the match, Brendan was struck by the friendly spirit in which the game was played. However rather than commending Brent and Porks for this, it appeared Brendan was suggesting both boys needed a bit more mongrel in them.  Maybe Gordo we can add a new “Sportsmanship Award” to the club trophy list this year for Brent/Porks, and maybe a “Best Mongrel” award as well, although it should be noted Brendan would have some competition for that award.

With those heading to Cobram for the big Annual Challenge weekend planning ahead, and those not going wondering aloud if they would be able to muster the minimum 6 for an Ivanhoe comp next week, SoS was busy as always on the finances and handing out the balls.  Michael managed to bunt one down the 7th with a 3 wood (Stef hit 7 iron on the same hole) to collect a triple ball jackpot, Brent knocked off Matty and Harry for the double ball jackpot on the 18th and the highlight of the day for Geoff was a shot to 4.86 metres on the 15th for pro-pin jackpot winnings of $30+.

Another type of win was had on the 16th when Matt and Chrispy had a drag race of their buggies. Chrispy declared himself the winner but like Usain Bolt in the 2011 World Athletics Championship, there was a false start controversy and the suggestion that Chrispy might have jumped the gun.

Your club Apprentice Assistant Handicapper (on duty this week) is still a bit befuddled by various aspects of the data entry and blog systems Harry has been trying to teach him.  This includes the Birthday Report, which this week shows up no less than 5 birthdays in red (which means we might have missed them – the sorrys there include Beast, hope you had a good one Beast) and also our tee marshall Adam, who might have had a birthday this past week.  Happy birthday Adam.

Meanwhile big thanks to all of today’s 16 players for getting scores and totals 100% accurate. It does help the admin when cards are nice and clean and add up. The only mistake this week was Harry’s marking of Stan’s round, with Harry signing off Stan’s card with a handicap of 23 when after his win last week Stan was a 22. Nice to know Harry ain’t perfect.

Results for Saturday, 07 Oct 2023
1st Harry Boughen (66) 2nd Stefan Belevski (68) 3rd Brent Rowley (69) 4th Brendon Mitchell (72) 4th John Quinlan (72) 5th Andrew Blight (73)

Seniors Results: 1st Harry Boughen (66) 2nd Andrew Blight (73) 3rd Bob McDonald (75) 3rd Chris Priems (75) 3rd Michael Gourlay (75)

Nearest the Pin Results: ProPin – 15th Geoff Lyall BallPin No 1 – 7th Michael Gourlay BallPin No 2 – 18th Brent Rowley

There were no party ‘pies, but there were snags and patties for the fourteen members who were sufficiently disinterested in other events of the day to try their hand at the Grand Old Par rather than fret about the Grand Old Flag. Mark, from the ‘afternoon’ group, joined in so that he could get to the ‘G, but, unfortunately, he is a Lions supporter, although, it must be said that his side did not let him down and was in there with a chance right until the siren blew. The weather was fairly warm, so conditions should have been ripe for some good scoring to be had, particularly with the chance of some extra points for the net eagle hole. However, looking at the bottom line of some of the cards handed in, one might have been forgiven for thinking that the course was in bad condition and that the weather was foul. However, despite the less than stellar appearance of some of the scores, we did manage to come home with five birdies and four double pointers for the day.

There was one member who did manage to revel in the conditions. Stan was a contributor to the birdie and double tally when he nabbed one on the 3rd, after a couple of square holes to start the round. He took advantage of his two strokes on the 4th, 7th and 8th, which should have made for a very impressive total for the front nine, except for a couple of minuses that left him just plus three. The back nine looked like having nothing on the debit side of the ledger, until a minus on the last blotted the copy-book to finish the day with plus four and an easy win from the rest of the field.

Gordo could very easily have been right up there with Stan, if it had not been for three holes that did not even rate the entry of a number in the left-hand column of the card. Now, it seems that Gordon had got rid of a lot of ‘rubbish’ during the week, and as a result, he had none left for the course (ignoring those three holes, of course). However, there could have been a modicum of luck involved as well, when a very skinny shot for the green on the 6th looked gone for all money until the flag stick intervened and dropped the ball into the hole for a par (and a plus). And there were a sufficient numbers of pluses on the card for Gordo to finish plus two and in second place for the day.

Charlie lined up for his first round of competition today, and, as had been predicted, he did not take long to feature in the considerations. He kicked off the round very smartly with a pair of pluses, whereupon, the tension got too much for him and a quad of minuses followed in short order. Another pair of pluses restored the equilibrium position, and he rounded only one under the card. The back nine was not so much of a roller-coaster, and the eventual square result slotted him nicely into third place, and left his handicap nicely intact.

Steve is really looking forward to defending his Mustard Jacket in a couple of weeks time. Today’s result of minus one will help a little towards that goal, although that tally was helped more than somewhat by his pair of doubles on the 7th and 16th. What might not help his Cobram campaign was the fact that he managed to ‘smash’ his driver on the 13th, so he will be urgently shopping for a replacement, and will have little time to get used to the new kit before the Challenge weekend. Porks started out with a couple of holes on the wrong side of the line, but he managed to rectify that and finished the front nine square to the card. A couple of bogies and a double on the back brought him home on minus one as well for a piece of 4th place. Adam was pretty happy with his square for the front nine, but less happy about the minus three on the back that relegated him to fifth place. Connor showed signs of being a little on the rusty side, with holes being either ‘good’ or ‘bad’ with nothing much in between. It seems that he took two shots to get onto the 18th green, the only problem with that was, he was playing the 17th hole. Peter didn’t make much of a fist of the front nine, although he did snag a par on the 5th. The back nine looked as if it was going to be a lot more promising with a string of plus scores, only to see them frittered away by a corresponding string of losses, and the tally of minus three was the final result for a spot in 5th place.

What to say about the Nearest the Pin competition? It will be interesting to see if the Double Jackpot BallPin on the 7th will go off next week from the Black tees, because the Jackpot from last week certainly didn’t go off this week. The 18th green also proved to be difficult to get onto (it took Connor two shots from the 17th), so there will be a Jackpot there as well. And, as for the ProPin, that was set on the 15th, and there was nobody who could get within the required 5m to collect the money, so there will be a jackpot to play for there as well. That should be enough to attract a few of the hungry types out of their den.

SOS was noted buying a couple of beers after the round. One was for his drive on the 2nd, which did not quite make it as far as the red markers. The other was for a too-vigorous putt on the 6th that carried on past the hole and off the green. Andrew was very tentative and took quite a while searching for his ball at the back of the 8th green after a snake was spotted in the area. Probably best not to go tromping about in the long stuff now that the weather is warming up and our slithery friends get more active. Our Lion-loving guest, Mark, scored a birdie on one hole, and promptly followed that up with a triple bogie, which gave rise to speculation that this could be a portent for the result of the match to come. ChrisJ made the last of the double pointers with his birdie on the 10th, but his other three pars fell quite a bit short of propelling him into contention for points on the day.

There have been no reports about the true believers, but there is a possibility that they will have sobered up sufficiently to play next Saturday.

Results for Saturday, 30 Sep 2023
1st Stan Blackshaw (+4) 2nd Gordon Hill (+2) 3rd Charlie Wood (□) 4th Steven Gervasoni (-1) 4th Ryan Porker (-1) 5th Adam King (-3) 5th Connor McIntosh (-3) 5th Peter Sein (-3)

Seniors Results: 1st Stan Blackshaw (+4) 2nd Gordon Hill (+2) 3rd Steven Gervasoni (-1)

Nearest the Pin Results: ProPin – 15th Jackpot BallPin No 1 – 7th Jackpot BallPin No 2 – 18th Jackpot

There’s something in the air at this time of year. Yes, there is pollen that can make eyes scratchy and noses runny. There is a little more bite in the sun, that can make skin patchy and noses reddy. And, then, there are footy finals that make shirts matchy and faces grinny. Or not, as the case may be. Clear skies overnight meant that the temperature was a bit on the cool side to start with, but the shorts-wearers (not meaning Targe and JQ cursing) were proven correct in their assertion that their wardrobe choice would be vindicated before the morning was out. The course is doing its best to dry out, but the generous application of the watering system is doing its bit to maintain the bogginess of a few patches, around the greens in particular. The course was in apple-pie order, with the fairways well mowed, but with a bit of length in the verges to add a degree of difficulty to the straying shot. So, all in all, the stage should have been set for some top scores to be returned for the delectation of the handicapper. Maybe it was the lack of preferred lie that detracted a bit from the scoring potential of the eighteen members who turned out for the day.

By the start of the back nine, the course was atwitter (or should that be aXer) with the news that the ‘country-miler’, Raj, already had 23 points racked up on his card. Then, it was suggested that there was a distinct whiff of hot brake-linings as the rate of scoring slowed dramatically. Over the next six holes, barely a quarter of that number of points were scored, not helped by the fact that he took three strokes to get past the red markers on the 15th and a round of drinks for the group was in order. The mojo then returned to score as many points over the last three, to finish with his winning tally of 37 points, just one under his (too generous, according to some) handicap. CJ was feeling a bit on the hoarse and tired side after his night at the ‘G, and he wasn’t oozing confidence before stepping up to the first tee. However, the ‘over-indulgence’ seems to have done him some good, and he started off gang-busters, until a gash at the 4th knocked a bit of a hole in the score-line. Still, 20 points were nothing to be sneezed at. The back nine was only a little worse for wear, and the 17 points there brought him into line with Raj to take out the top spot. CJ did declare that there should be a new rule that the first winner card to be submitted should the only one subject to the winner’s penalty. We would probably have to have a referendum about that!

CJ was giving Bob some advice on where to get information about operation of an electric buggy. This might go some way to explaining why CJ managed to go close to taking out Ken on at least three occasions. Student, Bob, must have learned well, because he managed to crash into Raj’s buggy on the hill down from the 17th, causing it to turn turtle. The stop button is the big red one, Bob. Anyway, Bob was doing his usual bit of grumbling about how his game was going, as he completed the front with just 14 points on the card. At about this time, the sole of one of his shoes separated from the upper, and it was hit, flap, hit, flap for the rest of the round. However, it did improve his game no end, and he was able to make a very creditable 20 points on the back to take out second place for the day.

Harry’s front nine was a case of ups and downs as he fought with the trees while playing the 2nd/6th, and missed a remarkable number of putts from under half a metre. The back nine was rather better, although still marred by the half metre misses, which resulted in just the 33 points to set the standard for third place. Sean joined us for the first time in quite a while, and he showed that he hasn’t forgotten how to play during his time away. He obviously didn’t appreciate the tee placement on the 2nd, and a scattering of bogies served to limit him to a total of 33 points as well. Brendon didn’t get off to a great start, but a birdie on the 4th, for four points, helped to lift his spirits a bit. He was spotted making good use of the boundary fence on the 8th to keep his ball in bounds and with an open shot to the green. He joined in the happy group on third with a final tally of 33 points as well. JQ was able to drag himself away from family and work for the first time in a little while, and he might have been wondering what he had done to offend, after at least two attempts on his life from errant shots. Despite Harry’s attempt from the 13th tee, JQ’s back nine improved on his front, allowing him a share of third place as well.

Steve was threatening to come back with a chain-saw after ‘making use’ of at least seven trees in only three shots (but who’s counting). But, despite his trouble with the wood-work, he was able to manage 31 points, and accepted the two points for 4th place with alacrity. Brent managed a fairly respectable front nine, although the second hole did prove a little too challenging. A significant slump for the first half of the back prevented a more respectable score than he ended with for his share of 4th place. Stan had ‘nothing to report’, but did not show any signs of being unhappy with his total of 30 points, and he was perfectly happy to accept the point for fifth, despite some rubbishing from the peanut gallery. Adam was also fairly sanguine about his result, and he might have been thankful for a physics bending ricochet from a tree that saved his drive on the 17th from Birrarung, but which went close to depositing it in the penalty area instead. He also gracefully accepted the point on offer.

The first BallPin was set on the 7th hole, and, although the tee was rather well forward, getting a ball on the green proved too difficult for the entire field, and there will be a jackpot there next week. The second BallPin on the 18th turned out to be a bit of a contest, but Matt had high hopes with his shot to about five metres. Unfortunately, Adam came along and knocked him off for the ball on offer. The ProPin was on the 12th, and ChrisJ could have been forgiven for thinking he had a chance at only 4.3m away. This proved to be nowhere near enough, as JQ cracked his shot to 1.2m to steal the goodies away. Unfortunately, the birdie putt eluded him, and we were only able to tally up 13 for the day.

Matt did score what Harry classed as a beagle. On the 17th, after enquiring how many eggs were in the nest, he went for the green. The shot looked good, but finished a fraction short of the dance floor, so the next job was to engineer a chip-in. That didn’t quite materialise, so the little putt back resulted in a cross between a birdie and an eagle. After scoring about five birdies last outing, Matt was a little disappointed with the lack of numbers today, and was heard to refer to his card as a ‘picket fence’ due to the inordinate number of singletons showing. SOS was apparently back at his power-shanking best, with one notable one at the 12th, where he finished on the mounds between the 11th green and the penalty area. Targe had cause to buy a round today after his drive on the 2nd got caught up in a tree and fell to earth somewhat short of the red markers. He also suffered a mild misfortune on the 13th after carefully inspecting a ball, and deciding it was definitely his, only to find out, after he had hit it, that it was actually Harry’s ball. The Birthday Birdie has to get himself into a flap this week, so that he can get around to deliver some best wishes to the Beast and the Goulash. Don’t party too hard, and come back soon.

Results for Saturday, 23 Sep 2023
1st Rajesh Mahto (37) 1st Chris Priems (37) 2nd Bob McDonald (34) 3rd Harry Boughen (33) 3rd Sean Farrell (33) 3rd Brendon Mitchell (33) 3rd John Quinlan (33) 4th Steven Gervasoni (31) 4th Brent Rowley (31) 5th Stan Blackshaw (30) 5th Adam King (30)

Seniors Results: 1st Chris Priems (37) 2nd Bob McDonald (34) 3rd Harry Boughen (33) 3rd Sean Farrell (33)

Nearest the Pin Results: ProPin – 12th John Quinlan BallPin No 1 – 7th Jackpot BallPin No 2 – 18th Adam King

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Could it have been the loot on offer that brought out the masses today? The choice of footy matches is starting to get a bit thin on the ground, although a couple of Hunts and a Priems had to dash off to a local Grand Final, but not until after they had savoured the shout that Josh had to make after he failed to make it to the red markers on the second (and the tee wasn’t even back on the wall!). With fourteen others making up the field, seventeen members (plus one) was as good a number as we have seen for a little while. The course has pretty well dried out, although the ground staff have been doing their best to maintain the mud by giving the sprinklers a right royal work-out. This was particularly noticeable around and on the greens, with some of the early starters having to take relief from the casual water that persisted on a couple of them. The first third of the 14th is still pretty soft, and a high launched ball was perfectly able to bury itself well below the full depth of the ball, necessitating the use of a prise to extricate it. Just ask Harry! On the other hand, some of the tee boxes were pretty hard, although it wasn’t yet in hammer territory. The weather was fine and warm, which prompted a few (tongue in cheek) comments about the severity of the heat and humidity. Some of the roughs were a bit furry, which could make it difficult to spot the ball until you were right upon it.

As well as finishing off his free beer, Matt was very keen to make sure that his card was submitted and was not left to blow away in the breeze or get stolen by a passing raven. He was also very keen to point out the number of scores that were circled on his card. Not because he thought they were all going to count for his eclectic, but because there were five birdies, which represented a fair proportion of the 12 that we managed to score for the day, This certainly helped to produce the total of 72 strokes off the stick, and a plus two of what counted. The score might well have been better after he knocked away a putt on the 12th, that he deemed to be bound to miss, just as it started to turn sharply towards the hole. Despite his fears about keeping the lead, this total was not beaten, but it was equalled. Ken indicated that he managed to keep the ball on the fairway today, and that helped immeasurably with the opportunities for scoring. In fact, there were only three minus results on the card. It seems that he did get some help in staying on the straight and narrow. The drive on the 16th was deemed to be headed for the children’s playground, but, in what was deemed to be an interminably long time, the ball was miraculously ejected back onto the fairway. Presumably the golf gods and not a passerby!

In second place, we find none other than Prez, aka Rob. It seems that Rob might have been taking some hints from the Magpies. In the first half, he was missing shots at goal from 3m out right in front of the posts. But, at half-time, the coach obviously said all of the right things, and a three point deficit was turned completely around onto a one point surplus, and he snagged second place with a well-placed putt for plus right on the siren. The five players, who tied it up for third place with square cards, all had options to have done better. Harry took five holes to warm up and score a non-negative result, and, later, a couple of ill-founded club selections probably cost as well. Michael was particularly rueful about having made it to the 13th green, about 4.5m from the pin, then taking four putts to finish it off. There was a suggestion that Josh had some ‘trouble’ with trees, but the result usually ended up favourable. He’s been taking lessons from the Priems boys, it seems. Raj played a very even round, but he was heard to mutter under his breath a few times, when his usual impeccable chipping did not quite come off. SOS was pretty pleased with himself as he strolled from the 9th green to the 10th tee. With three points on the positive side of the ledger, there was a thought that he might be in with a chance. Not to be, and he had to settle for a square card as well.

ChrisJ was moderately pleased with how he was going as he completed the front nine. Unfortunately, things turned a bit ugly on the back, and six gashes turned his plus 2 into a minus 2, which left him in fourth place. However, he was not alone. Brendon reckons his round was a feat of endurance after he ‘went in the hocks’ at some stage, and had to ‘limp’ his way home. Nothing went particularly right for Porks, nor did it go particularly wrong, so he was pretty happy to get his share of fourth spot. Peter has been away doing ‘other things’ for a while, so maybe he was feeling a little rusty on it. After putting his second into the penalty area on the 13th, and faced with a shot over the trees to the green from the penalty, he opted to pick up for the sake of speed of play (and his own sanity, perhaps). For some reason, this seemed to upset Michael. Stan didn’t quite celebrate his 100th game with us in style, but he was able to get a point with his score of minus 3 for fifth place. Steve seemed particularly upset because he lost his ‘favourite’ ball from the 14th tee. It was deemed to have been somewhere on the 16th fairway, but it could not be found, leading Steve to declare that some ‘Hunt’ must have picked it up. CJ is the proud owner of a new set of wheels, and he was bragging about how it couldn’t be capsized because of the four wheels. What did he do but capsize the darn thing as he headed off down from the first tee. Before the round, he was getting all sorts of operating instruction, even from that well known expert, Bobbie.

There were Jackpots galore on offer today. The BallPin on the 4th continued to look to be difficult, with the sun shining right in the eyes and making ball spotting less than easy. SOS didn’t need to worry, because his ball finished on the green, and it was close enough to beat any other contenders, and he awarded himself the two balls on offer. Not sure what he plans to do with them, as he reckons he never plays with new balls because he loses them. The balls on the 18th went to Matt, who claimed that he thought he had scored a HIO, and it was easy to see why with the marker less than half a metre past the hole. Matt was almost on a bit of a roll with his name on the card for the ProPin on the 15th showing a shot to 3.7m. Unfortunately, that was not close enough, and Ken’s shot to 2.95m won him enough shrapnel to shout the better half to dinner. Not sure what Ken is going to eat, though.

Charlie joined us again today to put in his second card, and the comments suggest that there is some talent there, except for a bit of a slice, and a tendency to flirt with the ladies. CJ and Adam were fairly hanging out to wrap themselves around a cold and frothy, but to no avail. Maybe it was the incipient thirst, but Adam started out going gang-busters and after six holes, he was three up. But then the con-rod threw a big-end that knocked a hole in the sump. CJ reckons that his buggy was losing traction, there was so much Valvoline spread around the course. Courtesy dictates that we don’t reveal the final score. We all know that Bob is pretty tough on himself. On the 15th tee, he managed to hit the big ball at least 300mm behind the little ball, and the club passed over without making contact. When tallying his score, he started counting at three because – isn’t there a penalty for an air-swing? Only to your ego, Bob! Brendon, despite his injury, went close to a slam-dunk shot on the 16th, although it wasn’t specified how many for. A par suggests either a missed putt, or it was only for a birdie.

Finally, a big shout-out from the Birthday Birdie to Allan Davies and Dale Webb who both have reason to get out and party this week. Have a good one, guys!

Results for Saturday, 16 Sep 2023
1st Matt Hunt (+2) 1st Ken Watson (+2) 2nd Robert Priems (+1) 3rd Harry Boughen (□) 3rd Michael Gourlay (□) 3rd Josh Hunt (□) 3rd Rajesh Mahto (□) 3rd Stephen O’Sullivan (□) 4th Chris James (-2) 4th Brendon Mitchell (-2) 4th Ryan Porker (-2) 4th Peter Sein (-2) 5th Stan Blackshaw (-3) 5th Steven Gervasoni (-3) 5th Chris Priems (-3)

Seniors Results: 1st Ken Watson (+2) 2nd Harry Boughen (□) 2nd Michael Gourlay (□) 3rd Peter Sein (-2)

Nearest the Pin Results: ProPin – 15th Ken Watson BallPin No 1 – 4th Stephen O’Sullivan BallPin No 2 – 18th Matt Hunt