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The handicapper was Moystoning his lips on 30 May 2020

The mozzie is back
Handicap, schmandicap!
There was movement down at Ivanhoe, for the word had passed around 

That the cart from Bobby Mac had got away,

And joined the wild push buggies - it was worth at least a grand,

And all the hacks had gathered for to play.


And why wouldn’t all the hacks come out to play. The course has had a chance to soak up some of the excess moisture and the BOM had promised a nice sunny day. It wasn’t particularly sunny when the first group hit off but that was only because the sun wasn’t quite up yet. A bit over three weeks and it will start getting up earlier but, in the meantime, the first group will need their best straight shots.

Pepsi misses a draughtie
I didn’t want to lose my ball so early in the round.

He wasn’t quite in the first group but Pepsi made sure that his first tee shot did not get lost in the distance. There were gasps of bitter disappointment from his companions as the ball managed to bobble on just enough to get past the red markers. Pepsi avoiding a draughtie by the barest of margins is not something that you would see, or expect to see for that matter, in many a long day. Just goes to show that it can happen to anybody.

Now Mostyn has just returned from a break of almost 6 years and claimed that he hasn’t played much and probably should be re-handicapped. He turned in his three cards and got his new handicap. Today was his first official competition round. There were rumours swirling around the course that the lad had turned with 23 points on the card. The handicapper was beside himself and licking his lips in anticipation. Mostyn’s eyes obviously glazed over at the sight of such a prodigious number and the back nine did not go quite so well and he finished the day with a slightly more respectable 39 points. The handicapper’s eyes are wet rather than his lips.

Dennis wasn’t quite as flash on the front nine though he could have challenged for the best if it had not been for a triple on the 8th. He also missed scoring on the 12th but robbed himself of a point on the 15th and, as a result he finished just a point behind to take out the second spot. Peter managed to gather himself a couple of four pointers with birdies on the 11th and the 17th which stood him is good stead to get his total for the round of 36 points. Twelve other birdies brought to grand total to 14 from a pretty impressive crowd of 29 players.

The Beast caused no end of confusion by scoring his card on the markers side but he did play a very balanced round of 17 points on each half for his total of thirty four. It’s been a while since Craig went to school and he has obviously forgotten how to add up so, instead of sharing fifth he was able to share 4th with Bill. Stef was on and then he was off and then he was on again. Not his game, the playing list. He wouldn’t say much about the reason why. Chrispy, on the other hand was as steady as a rock (and is it any wonder) and joined Stef in fifth place with their tally of 33 points.

The Matchplay competition is progressing well and, with any sort of luck, and cooperation from members, we should be able to get it out of the way sooner rather than later and, maybe, back on the original schedule. JQ came up against Blighty and the result was possibly open to question after John prematurely conceded the 13th. However, the final result of 3 and 2 suggests that some remarkable scoring would have been required to turn it around completely. Daniel didn’t get off to a good start with a bit of a ‘duck hook’ (if he was a right hander) off the first. He did manage a few wins but the match went dormie 5 at the 13th and a win on the 14th gave the match to Chris 6 and 4.

Bob still learning
One of these days I’ll get my Ps

The match between Bob and Damo proved to be interesting. Bob had the better of the front nine by dint of the twenty strokes that he received from Damien and by sinking some serious putts to match scores and take the hole as a result. Damo might have been put off a little by having to avoid being run down by Bob’s buggy. On the other hand, on the back nine, Bob might have been distracted from the main game by trying to keep the buggy under control and his lead of three at the turn turned into a victory for Damo 2 and 1. Enzo played the Beast and there seems to have been a modicum of misunderstanding as to how the Matchplay index works. Bill also had the best of the front nine but Enzo made a bit of a fist of it on the back and, at one point actually got his nose in front. A bit of a relapse on the last few holes gave the match to Bill 1 up.

The Nearest the Pin competition today does suggest that most of the birdies were not on the par threes. The only one to go off was the BallPin on the 12th which was knocked down to Blighty. If the crowd next week is anything like today, the ProPin on the 15th will definitely be worth winning and this could bring out some denizens from the deep.

The Birthday Birdie has a good wish to hand out to Dave for later in the week. Targe celebrated today with a fairly significant mile-stone of 800 games. Not a bad effort for the little fellah. Stef’s claim to fame today was that he went OOB from the 16th – to the right! Noodles has decided that he is the world’s worst chipper after today’s performance. Chrispy is up for a second trip away next year with the Punter’s Club but he doesn’t want Carolyn to know. Could lead to divorce or something.

Results for Saturday, 30 May 2020
1st Mostyn Gregg(39) 2nd Dennis Ward(38) 3rd Peter Damou(36) 4th Craig Cameron(34) 4th Bill Eastoe(34) 5th Stefan Belevski(33) 5th Chris Priems(33)

Seniors Results: 1st Dennis Ward (38) 2nd Bill Eastoe (34) 2nd Craig Cameron (34) 3rd Chris Priems (33)

Nearest the Pin Results: ProPin15th Jackpot BallPin No 1 12th Andrew Blight BallPin No 2 18th Jackpot